burning the candle at both ends

no pix from meathead's party at the dome... it will air next wk on brighthouse on demand, tho. they had a great set-up w/live editing van. sound was difficult. meathead plans to make a drive-in movie set-up. wow! deke show went fun - hard to hear from the stage. was nervous about the band sleeping set-up, but he'd gotten a hotwire rm. crazy joe was that & more. they switched instruments thruout the show. deke hitched up his drawers at show's end & did this bizarre elmer fudd-lux interior rap, then moonwalked "in remembrance of the king of pop." r&r pizza 1st set was so great: we sounded like austin's ginny's longhorn saloon honky-tonk. 2nd set, rick played w/us; thank you, rick. pizza was great, all in all a busy & productive wkend. thank you, michelle, for the flowers for my hair. thank you, family & friends, for "being there." this a.m. brought a nightmare about my puppy & a mtg re divorce papers. my husband is a consummate gentleman, but still, it's so sad. pat & i visited a fellowship friend, a beautiful lady, in icu. headed for a mtg. life life life. don't wanna quote jim morrison, but he was true to say "no one here gets out alive." bleh. must keep moving forward, trudging... thank goodness for the good called music. b helped me bring my stereo to my houselet (like i said, what a gentleman), so i listened to louis jordan & johnny horton this a.m.
this is all over the place, so bye for now.

guitar geek a go-go; www.dekedickerson.com

we're playing friday night at fishlips in bakersfield (flyer below) w/this fellow:

deke is well-worth seeing: international rockabilly star, late of untamed youth, dave & deke combo, american musicologist, promoter/ supporter/ player at fantastic events like rockin 50s & ponderosa stomp (& his own annual guitar geek fest), highly admired sideman, writer for guitar world mag, vinyl collector/geek, etc etc etc. it's gonna be one high energy, fun & wild show!
cover's $7, not $5, i just found out from the cal. hope you'll be there, if you can. guitar players & music fans will plotz & girls will scream. i myself will have my fun, & believe if you go, that you will, too!

blablabla

this was a pic from a recent relay for life show: quite fun! thanks to ann, jim's (drummer's) wife, for taking it... summer's almost gone & it's been fun camping & hiking, going to the beach, going on runs, traveling in general, tho i know i'm just trying to stay gone, is pt of the reason i've been so busy. soon enough school'll start for me, both as student & teacher, so then will be time to hunker down & stay put. but i hope the next 10 days or so'll bring more adventures. recently i was walking on the venice beach boardwalk & heard a familiar raspy shout. "that sounds like carlos guitarlos," thought i, & it WAS. as i approached, he nimbly morphed his lyrics on the spot to make playful reference to him & me & bakersfield in his song... i wish i'd had my camera. i stood nearby & huckstered a few cds for him, then it was time to move on to find food.
the weather there & here's been beautiful & mama & aunt rita are staring at me & making jokes as i type, so guess i should sign off & go wash beach sand out of the truck, pick up the dog boys, then meet my friends for band practice.

good friends, good eats, good god, let's eat

(grandpa phil's good-humored tho some might say blasphemous dinner prayer)
tho i told people not to bring gifts, i still got lovely & cool gifts. tho i sed don't bring food, people brought delicious grub, anyhow (mark, a mini mart's worth of little debbie!). people like to give. people are generous & good. what a memorable & happy time i had, & i hope everyone else did, too! :) i love my friends & family & am grateful to be around these days. a friend wrote to me on a bd card, "i am so happy to be in this world at the same time you are." wow!
many music friends showed up & played various styles. when my band played, friends gathered in the small living area & in my periphery, i could see them beaming & bopping w/such joyful fervor, it really lit me up. jim, mark, & phil grinned w/good cheer, there in my little living rm w/such a swell little crowd.
"you made me feel so happy, like i was young again," smiled penni, who is always so sincere.
yes, what a lovely time yesterday was, & what a lazy day today is: i didn't even leave the house til 2 pm! these are the last days of summer for me, as well as the dog days, so i don't feel so bad... what a treasure, to lounge around my little pad, lazily cook cereal & toast, go back to bed, nap, read, then have leftover bd cake w/tea, now using the net while sitting under a tree at central park. they put a nice riverwalk in here; it's really lovely here, on this blazing, texas-like day. it's humid & the sun is so bright, it burns the skin. i feel alive. a young couple are kissing over by the river archway. kids shout & trot & jump on the nearby crayola-hued play equipment. a cool breeze just swept by, mysteriously, out of noplace. is there anywhere better right now? no, my friend, there isn't, & may you feel the same about your present condition. :) now it's time to scram, for, thinking of my father, i quote, "he who loveth much saith little."

good grace in part involves accepting kindness; thank you, memphis mike, who lives online at http://memphismike.com & many other places

pat (the wisest woman in the world) has told me i need to acknowledge & accept compliments, & moreover, believe & internalize them wherever possible (good lord!! do you do that?)... memphis mike wrote this a few days ago & i just saw it cause i'm not online regularly these days, so i post it here since, frankly, i think it's unbelievably nice that he wrote these compliments unsolicitedly! :) he is the fellow who has told me i have a "phil [alvin]-like grin," which i take as high compliment, tho other women perhaps would be insulted & shocked because it does not mean pretty, but to my mind DOES mean interesting. phil alvin looks something like a deranged bugs bunny when he grins, but he is loved, lusted, & revered for this & other qualities such as prodigious talent & fervent commitment to ideas, & so i, lover of monsters beautiful & horrifying, am most flattered... :) here's what mike wrote:
Tomorrow is my friend Jenny's birthday...and I want her to have the most excellent one EVER!
Backstory: A few years back, I picked up The Blasters' live DVD and aside from a truly memorable performance, I noticed the cameraman pan to a certain chicky with the coolest, most insane grin on her face. Some time later, I had a friend request on McSpaz and thought to myself, "Gee, she looks familiar." Turns out it's the same chick!
Long story short, we've become pretty good buds. I think she's about as sweet as diabetic blood and I want her to have an especially great b-day this year. Soooooooo...I'm putting links to some of her & her band's (The Dusk Devils, from Bakersfield, CA) video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc18WHzIsJE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJQMnoV6dZM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrf7wzkHCuo
Send the girl some extra special Yinzer love! She deserves it!
And Ynnej, I best be seeing a big ol' grin SOON! ;-)

dusk devils aug 09 shows

it's all too much

...but it'll pass. pat, the wisest woman in the world, in my reckoning, says "life is short, honey. do you want to spend it in pain?" no, i don't. she said a bunch of other stuff, too, about being a grownup & learning to say no & boundaries & listening to & heeding my gut, not just listening, then dismissing it. she says "mean what you say, say what you mean, & don't say it mean." she'd tell you herself she didn't invent that one.
-> impossible to think that one month ago was new orleans, the most beautiful place in the world... guess at this pt i'm counting the days til bd parties (1st for mama, cousin mitch, & i; then w/band & friends at my place)... was gonna leave this town this a.m., jump ship, but pat said no, you stay put. true, staying put, i can't run from feelings, responsibility, etc., & the squirming subsides, & i know life'll improve, but for now, it still feels like drowning & suffocating whenever i let my brain relax & think about It All. doesn't help it's 111 degrees. doesn't help i'm my own misery-making machine. however, i know awareness of a problem is the beginning of freedom from it. drop the rock. surrender to win. (but i really don't believe that win-lose dichotomy. i mean, we all go the same place in the end, just stardust, just skeletons.)
a few songs:
life is short. filled with stuff. don't know what for. ain't had enough.
you know i believe i'm gonna leave this town cause it hasn't brought me nothing but heartache and sorrow now, so i believe, oh i believe i'm gonna leave this town tomorrow.
maybe i'll jump ship anyhow, go see manuel, donna & kids, ruben (tho he'll prob be working), the barndance. doesn't matter anymore, i don't think. i guess i can do whatever i want, long as i don't hurt anyone (intentionally)... just gotta make it thru this summer alive... i know i'll get my smile back, & i hope a mature & happy heart, too.
stay sick, turn blue. dusk devils por vida. if you read this, amico mio, again remember: LIFE IS SHORT!

blablabla

(pic from www.andynoise.com, "home of kern county athletics") when i arrived at last night's run, paul anderson & friend made fun of my shorts: "are those leather?" "no, i think they're pleather," they said. he decided they fit my "rock star image." i told him they were from the texas thrift store. that's the name of the place - off the 35 in north austin! it's almost like a college used book store - i got a bunch of great titles, & could've gotten more if i'd had more rm in my suitcase.
last night's run was difficult (over 100 again), but great. the feeling after running is absolutely exhilarating. today is band practice, & i can't wait. i'm hoping to have myself a bd party - invite friends, family, musicians who like the stuff i like; we'll see. meanwhile, have been housesitting for my folks & am taking the dog boys back to their dad. it's been nice to hang out w/them. they live in the moment & love unconditionally. as angie sister says, "dogs are proof of god." booyah.
-p.s. - this gal is awesome: www.youtube.com/user/ivoryticklermama

life goes on without me

- to quote louis prima, my future ex-husband in my next life... the consequent lyric in that wonderful tune doesn't apply much to me cause tho i sometimes have that feeling that "i ain't got nobody, nobody cares for me," i know it's just the shyster between my ears letting itself be heard like it sometimes does, the bugger.
- this summer's felt in a way like crunch time thru & thru: 1st moving, w/all the accompanying strife & slipping out of town semi-frequently to try to avoid heartache; then the extra work week; then the hoop-jumping teacher class; then the trip of a lifetime; then my sobriety bd (friends! cake! love! thank you, dear jani, dan m, sally c, & all others who wished me well!); then trying to pass my library class (put in an 11-hour work day to finish the final assignment the other day) while cousin & brood & all these family members visited; then band practices; then uncle henry's funeral w/full military honors (b showed up, sincere & responsible, because uncle henry was his friend, & w/water for the old people, & tho i was grateful he was there, it made it much sadder)... only now, after today's gig, do i feel like i can start relaxing, tho tomorrow i take my cousin to the airport up north.
but today's gig! what fun! drummer jim hit most spots right, & he's developed the "push" i like to hear, the oomph, the torque (as brian p used to say) a good song needs. philbert & mark were duded up, friendly, funny, & played really great! as we were trying to get the sound dialed in, we bantered w/each other like we do & the girl announcer said, "yes, ladies & gentlemen, you probably didn't know the dusk devils are a comedy act, too..." we started the 1st song & the piano glopped from the monitors like pure mud, like the bottom of a bathtub, only discernible when i moved above middle C. still, i could hear my vocals & the others, so as is so often the case, pushed on thru! dedicated one to uncle henry, kids danced, people clapped & cheered (& left their relay laps to sit down & listen!)... overall, i think this was the best relay for life gig i've gotten to do. not bad!... afterward, we all drove back to bako, the dusk devils comedy show, til mark started nodding off. then we got fish & chips at the bowling alley & came back to my house to unload & watch pt of faster pussycat kill! kill! while waiting for mark's 2nd gig that night. when we found out it was cancelled, everyone went home & now here i sit, feeling thankful to get to play music w/such swell friends. i feel pretty calm & happy, not wired & weird, like sometimes happens, so believe it'll be mimis time here shortly. life is good, in my clean little house w/my new yamaha clavinova peeking at me from the living rm. (know will have to go play it for a while before turning in.).
besides scoring that great piano (from salvation army! 250 bucks!!), the most exciting music event for me recently was seeing the preservation hall jazz band in fresno. mom & dad took me for my birthday & w/the 1st notes, tears jumped from my eyes & my throat swelled w/happiness: if you've been there, instantly you were transported back to the big easy, filled w/such a longing to be there again RIGHT NOW, but that would mean missing the romance of that lovely music, the loose dixieland bluesy-woozy feel, the exquisite camaraderie & friendly repartee, the warmth & generosity the band radiated to the audience... i bought every bit of swag they had & then at the end of the 2nd act, they did 2 amazing things: one was a 2nd-line around the tower theatre's perimeter, band leading audience, on "when the sts go marching in;" then a finale in which the band caravanned up the aisles & out the door, playing the whole way the rhumba-clave "el manicero," & drew the audience out to the foyer where all grouped around as the musicians continued playing out on the street, just like they would in nola, & then they concluded & the audience cheered in the happiest union of audience/performers i've seen in some time. all the way home, dad, mom, & i yakked a mile a minute, so swelled up w/love & music & gratitude to have been together to see such a great new orleans institution... if you get any chance to go, don't miss the preservation hall jazz band!!! http://www.preservationhall.com/ choko mo feel no hey, and bonne nuit, baby!!

what a lovely way to burn

some things i've learned: don't go running when you've just eaten. be on time for the race. don't run if it's over 100 degrees. the above picture shows me having violated all of these, & tho i look about to keel, i must say i had a cool shirt on! :)
yes, despite it all, yesterday's run was fun!!! go to to www.andynoise.com for pictures & more info.
we're practicing in 1/2 hr! i'm so excited! ... even tho the little house is a hotbox. we're gonna rock!

uncle henry, rest in peace

since am in new orleans, was able to light a candle for him at st louis cathedral & also take the ferry across the mississippi to algiers, LA. uncle henry was raised in the church & also was a life-long sailor with that deep love of the sea in his heart. am normally water-averse, but gliding across the big, scary, looming depths, gazing out on the watery expanse & feeling the cooling spray, let me contemplate him & his love more deeply & wish his soul eternal peace.
we will never, never forget him.

that's why i'm walkin to new orleans...

this is it. the trip of my lifetime starts tomorrow. i will go to the following places: san antonio, lake charles, new orleans, austin, & (near) fort worth. the band will continue on while i'm away. i am happy & nervous, sad & excited. have waited so very long to see the crescent city. it's finally gonna happen.
today's gig was ok, nice weather, ok sound, ok set, but afterwards phil & i walked around the fairgrounds & looked at all the swag & then went & had dewar's & he got ice cream & hot fudge for his family & dropped me off & now i'm gonna say goodbye to my family, & all in all, this has been a good day. am thankful for the opportunities for life experiences. wishing anyone reading this the best...

the latest, not the greatest, not depravest nor the ravest

-rip to al h, who was sponsor & mentor to so many men around here... brian faithfully read to him weekly, & jani cared for al & his wife, too. b & j & everyone like them are very special & great people for their spirit of service; they always show up, always help others. al will be dearly missed by all who knew him.
- we're playing saturday at the thunder run at the fairgrounds. we go on at 1145, but might bump up to 1130. don't know if there's entrance fee. if you ride a murdersickle or just like them, you might go on over & check it out.
- after us is mud wrestling. and there ya go.
-spent wkend w/my dear friend donna, the most resourceful woman in the world, for her lovely kids' graduations. we walked around claremont & i got a count basie cd for $3. she scored me near-free furniture cause she knows how to do that kinda thing. we watched little miss sunshine (levon considers me the movie guru, sez his mom). drove to chino to some breakfast place that had the biggest pancakes i'd ever seen in my whole life. the gargantuan portions made the old friendly cafe in oildale look kinda wimpy. amazing. jogged to a 645 am mtg @ the triangle club. got back & was coming out of the john & there was ruben, all slicked up like for a gig. we played beatles songs w/lovely daughter laurel. more bargains w/donna, then i hit the road. the mountains were beautiful & if this is global warming, well brother, i guess that's that. it's super gorgeous here, & how amazing. it should be 200 degrees.
- art fein says he'd like to produce our next recording. he even said something about the blasters, but i couldn't hear cause my head's too screwed on crooked these days. friends continue to send nice emails; gene taylor & memphis mike even sent songs.
- deke dickerson sez if i show up at fats domino's door, he might sign my record on account of my appearance. not sure what i think of that, but if i get a signature, i gotta get one for deke, too, who says he's waited outside fats's house 10x & never got a john hancock. that would be some score, all right.
- we practice at the mini house & the neighbors still haven't called the cops. something nice happens each time, like yesterday all the cats (aka the little crap machines) came out & laid on the pavement to dig the vibrations. when we were done, the breeze outside refreshed & the cool sky stretched & billowed. we have big skies here; i've never noticed really til a friend from back east pointed it out. all does feel free, in this sad lonely & weird time of my life, but then again, it's not 200 degrees here yet.
- am 60% done w/a dog & pony bunch of classes i'm taking. actually they've been pretty substantial & the teacher's nice & the biggest problem is i never sleep now more than 4-5 hrs, so guess whatever trouble i'm having is my own fault. my library school teacher, who must be an angel, gave me a deadline extension on the unit i'm supposed to be writing. don't know when i'm gonna pack for trip, get renter's insurance, take care of the 100 other little things. am mostly moved, but sure miss tv (as well as other more important things).
- when i get back from my train trip, it's bound to be like the inferno here. for now, must enjoy the balmy days, the cool evenings, cherish every moment. re life, don't wonder why, don't borrow trouble. "don't look back," said donna. "my family never looks back; we just keep moving." i guess that's good advice.
- gonna go visit the canine babies now. i hope i can sneak them over here some night. c'est la vie, and how.

ah, good taste! what a dreadful thing. taste is the enemy of creativity.

(name that artist)
- i received as a gift a handmade raku bowl. the guy who gave it to me & i talked at length about the arts & i recalled how my ex-guitar player used to call me "narrow minded" cause am not one of those who "likes everything." this guy told me such strong reaction can alienate people & tho my 1st thought was, "well, [to heck w/] them," i guess growing up's learning to accept other people's tastes & be respectful of them. i do wanna do that on some level bc i like people in general & don't want to hurt them & after all, here in america, everyone's entitled to their opinions.
- then i recalled being in austin yrs ago w/a boyfriend who insisted we go in this beer bar that had good drink specials. problem was the heavy metal hair band playing inside, & tho i warned him i couldn't stomach the music, he insisted we go in & just listen for a while, & sure enough, yeah, i was bombed, but it was the music that made me sick. it hurt; it was repulsive; it was just flat-out wrong.
- i'm like art fein cause i can't go in stores playing bad music, can't be at parties w/bad music, can't listen to the radio most of the time, can't tune it out at all, & it does make life tough sometimes, for me & those around. so much of the time i keep my mouth shut & then i just start to feel sick... how much is real & how much is middle class privilege? it does feel genuine, oppressive, disheartening. so i'm thinking maybe "narrow-mindedness" or strong reaction to the arts can be a form of self-preservation, like the way early humans were signaled to not eat the poisonous plants bc nature gave warning by making such vegetation unpalatably bitter. why expose oneself to visceral unpleasantness? why puke in an austin doorway when the ears have amply warned that such noise will bring illness? run, wear earplugs, don't go in to begin w/, change the channel immediately... just say no to bad art.
- bad art & prose/poetry are easier to stomach; they don't simper, shout, or scream at you like bad music does; if they suck, you simply can avert your eyes & still be ok. bad movies & plays are trickier cause of setting... but bad music, that just makes life more like death.
- what defines bad? for me, it's a little voice inside, the voice that knows all, that is always right, & says things such as "you must do this tho it is painful because it is your truth" or "just don't drink today" or "go help that person" or "keep your mouth shut" or "just go to work" or "be nice"... my little voice is saying "little richard" & "new orleans" & "go cat go." and, dang it, "go to bed." what does your little voice declare? remember the oracle at delphi...
- in short, the guy who gave me the bowl was just trying to control me.

i've never seen a night so long,
when time goes crawling by.
the moon just went behind a cloud,
to hide its face and cry.
just went thru the saddest experience of my entire life. if anyone speaks one bad word about brian briggs, i am writing him or her off forever. please don't do it; it's not helpful at all. if anyone speaks badly of me, which i guess some are right now, i must handle it & realize it's a reflection on them, anyway. i know who i am & also that brian briggs has been a good & noble man. we will both be happier eventually, tho now feels like living death.

exhilaration & gratitude

so fortunate to be able to feel. music, children & the good humans of this earth, flowers, the outdoors, nighttime & dawn, wit & kindness, exercise bringing immediate endorphin rush: i have a feeling dial, & it's near-always at max. when sadness hits, it's a tsunami that feels like drowning. but when i'm happy, boy am i happy & can feel rapturous life, & wow. :) yesterday the band came over & we hacked away for a few hrs as the neighbors twirled around on their bikes & one came over to say they liked the music, then i drove out to the 1st summer series past hart pk & there were 100s of other folks there! we started out slow as cattle, all packed together, then spread out & it was half uphill, a slow climb, all dirt, warm but w/a refreshing breeze blowing, & kenny walker from my school, who used to run competitively, coached me on my stride. near the top of the grade, endorphins hit in a happy blast & the rest of the evening was gliding bliss; nothing could dampen the perfect feeling i had. i am so grateful for last night. :)
- here are pix from paul a, who used to have andy noise records in bako forever: http://www.andynoise.com/btc-summer-series-09.html i come in on pg 7 or so & have to say tho my legs're all beat up from moving, i've got the coolest shirt of the bunch (gun club fire of love). lou, the paulsens, kenny, all were there & what a beautiful, wonderful experience!
- near-nothing's as lovely as running, i don't think; it's top-5 for me & i can't wait to do it more & get stronger. we finished as dusk descended & noshing on bagel hunks & drinking gatorade & standing around yacking i thought, man, in the midst of sadness, to get to do this stuff certainly seemed blessed. twilight fell in melancholy blush & then evening came cool & clear; took a drive to ethel's for hotdogs & watermelon (all kinds of people from the run were there), then a nighttime drive up round mtn road & found a quiet spot & pulled over & walked down this white, weedy arroyo & crouched in the dirt & listened to the night & the stars & i am lonely but feel lately that wild adventure i had in my youth, tho w/o the aberrance & craziness that most often used to be me... this, too, shall pass.
- may today some or much exhilaration & gratitude be yours... will have a very important mtg today, have no expectations, but do hope it will result in the least pain & most closure & relief for all.

bill gruggett guitar show, trout's, bakersfield; the wheel o life goes round & round

yesterday i had so much HW for this accelerated class am taking for library school (difficult to be accelerated w/cobwebbed brain), but got done enough in time to get to the above show for a while. have no mirror in this place, so just threw on a dress & these turquoise boots have had & got compliments! -so that was nice. one old-time country performer called, "well, there's that little girl w/the big voice!" :) a woman drummer recognized me from when i played bass in a hard rock band 10 yrs ago: that was both cool & embarrassing... saw all kinda people i sort of know from local music & ended up sitting w/my old bandmate brian paxton, who was very kind. jeremy, monica, & ryan from don't scratch the wax visalia were there, real friendly & rockabilly-styling to the nines. hope we can get some shows going... rugged brian lonbeck, child prodigy & joe maphis apprentice, got up backed by deke dickerson & chris sprague & things really moved! he kept prefacing songs w/"i don't know if my fingers can do this one," but then whoopee! he'd kick into one of this high-gear flat-picking country-rockabilly romps & boy! you'd need slow motion replay to see what he actually was playing... deke played a cool mostrite bass & brian a mosrite double neck, like larry collins & deke play. i wondered if brian lonbeck knew larry collins, joe maphis's other prodigy, way back when. after, brian l said he was playing that night out in pumpkin center w/bobby durham & i think that'd be a fun late-night drive sometime. deke, who seemed even taller than ever (tho i wasn't wearing my stilts, come to think of it) told me some places to go while in new orleans & some possible tips for seeing fats domino & was very nice. all in all, i was quite happy w/the whole experience, so will save that one in my happy bank, which i've been withdrawing on where i can lately.
- the 1st dusk devils practice friday night at this new place felt weird & free... more rm to move, not worrying about spending too much time w/the band instead of doing other stuff, all the windows opening out to neighbors sitting on their porches & not running inside or calling the cops & therefore i think ok w/the music... am so lucky to have my band fellows; music is saving my keister these days.
- when the guys went to leave, a neighbor had left a note on the porch: "my 7-yr old daughter loves your band! she wants to go to one of your concerts. she is dancing in the living room right now!" wow. in the midst of heartache, how can a person be so lucky?
- people've been so kind, & keep telling me to be gentle w/myself & give a certain person the dignity of his own experience: stop assuming, stop misery-making, leave him be. for me, & for you, if you are suffering, stay in the middle of the herd, as jani's husband says; take it easy; pause when agitated; count your blessings... a dove is cooing & the birds singing away outside, my basil & roses are still growing, i got this little rather lovely place, & i guess all things considered, life is pretty good. it's really rather ridiculous & infantile to think somehow right now i'm supposed to be happy... tho i always dread it, change is the only constant. am living in change, must face it, no getting away from it, & there must be a lesson here, so need to be cognizant, watchful, see if i can espy, maybe even fully view & realize it, & grow. my wish & prayer is that everyone who's hurting in this situation right now also will grow, maybe even blossom.
- to shift gears, my dear friend dan monji, the gardening guru, said this last wk: "plants grow best in sh*t." &, as dear texas stacy (RIP) used to say, "when you're in a bag of sh*t, remember: the zipper's on the INSIDE."

what doesn't kill us makes us stronger

- november 1995-may 2009
- i'm no nietzchean, but lately a few of his ideas seem to help. the existentialist, suffering brings meaning ones, i think... today's the last day of school. last night i watched an old sad, wild, angry, beautiful vid of dexter romweber & put together a bookshelf & lamented, grieved, tried to shake it off, couldn't, sort of came out the other side. it's like peeling an onion: i'm the onion. each layer removed takes me closer to the center. but what if there's nothing there when i get to the last bit of skin?
- bill wilson talk helps much: this, too, shall pass - the good, the bad, the everything. it'll all be over eventually. what can i do w/now? just ride it out.
- happy last day to the wild, sweet, infuriating middle school kiddies at my school, & all the others. if i could only get more than 5 hrs of sleep a night, i know it'd help... meantime, today'll also bring the saving wonder of music w/my dusk devils bros. hail hail rocknroll.

without music, life would be a mistake (nietzsche)

"he who sings scares away his woes" (cervantes)
"music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life"
"music is the medicine of the broken heart"
and this one
"it's gotta be rocknroll music
if you wanna dance with me" (chuck berry)
but i don't feel like dancing lately... this, too, shall pass.

mom & dad likely wouldn't much like the first flyer...

... but here it is, with another cool one from r&r pizza. :) we're on at thunder run at 1 pm, at r&r pizza at 9... in between, i'm gonna go on a long train trip to texas & to new orleans. have waited my whole adult life to see NOLA. i'm finally gonna do it. love & happiness & peace of mind to all who read this...

new dusk devils songs :)

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

phil & i recorded these yesterday afternoon. many of them we'd never played; they existed in my mind, or i'd played them alone. so i think they'll just get stronger (esp phil's vocals, which i think will be solid on the roy orbison tune). i wrote all but the last one, but the colorful guitar is all phil.
i added in the bass last night & the drums this a.m. & just mixed it all.
times (so you can skip around):
0:00-2:54 HEY, BUS DRIVER
3:00-6:02 HIDEAWAY
6:17-8:42 BIG FOOT CHESTER
8:53-11:33 MYSTERIOUS
11:43-13:33 EVIL EYE
13:38-16:20 ROUND & AROUND
16:33-18:57 LOVESICK
19:13-END GO GO GO (ON DOWN THE LINE)
you can save this file if you go to www.esnips.com & join up, sez mark.
yesterday we all went to eat bbq & he & phil had an eating contest, more funny than gross. speaking of mark & geanna & family, please say a prayer for butch, & may his soul rest peacefully. as soon as i saw his cheshire-cat handsome face in today's paper, i remembered him as the alway wildly-grinning punk kid who was always downtown. rest in peace, butch, & may your loved ones find comfort & solace sooner than later.

soul stolen, or portal to otherworld opened yet again?

i just got sent these photos from lynda at trout's nightclub & saloon (bakersfield's last-standing honky-tonk) - they are from last yr, w/philbert looking studly & mark, who'd just signed on as a dusk devil, decidedly chico marxian! the other, well, it's definitely me. :) the 3rd was taken by candye kane's superb bassman paul, a gentlemanly fellow who, dusk devils-like, would fit well in a B-movie as a wise- or bad-guy or best-pal... here is a fascinating article about a traditional view of photos: art of stealing souls

photos by rebecca caraveo

went for two runs this evening! mama made angie's favorite, spaghetti carbonara. becky sent all these cool photos! the world seems a better place than yesterday... wishing you good health & happiness

"this one goes out to rockin' ronny weiser, who made our first record..."

name that EP (not you, olen, you're disqualified!) :)
here is what mr weiser just wrote me. WOW!!!!:
"Howdy Hi Jenny: I played your tracks on MySpace, and I love your voice, it's very intense, very soulful, wild but also tender and haunting when the mood requires. 'Mercy' is really smoking! Your piano playing is also rockin' solid... Always Rollin' The Rock, Ronny"
my cell phone is still dead. dang banana. i can call people & hear them, but they can't hear me. i imagine there's a nice banana plug gummed up in the mike-piece.
i think i'll get one of those trac phones from a big box store... then when the mins are used up, i can throw it out the window or smash it w/a hammer!!!!

we're depraved on account of we're deprived

not.
but look what someone sent me today! the dusk devils are an influence... in tx! couldn't get much better unless somehow it's a suburb of austin... http://www.myspace.com/texascherrybombers (look like a cool act! & their next show's a biker rally, like ours is!)
ok, beautiful run this a.m., beautiful weather, intense but important mtg w/loving friends, ruined cell phone when a banana in my fanny pack got pulverized by a water bottle... so if you know me & feel nice, pls send me your ph # so if i must get another cell phone, i can get hold of you!
last time i did it w/a chocolate bar. brian says i need to be "issued a military phone, something that can take heavy damage." it would be a dud if this one died, since it took a trip thru u.s. mail when i left it in a bathroom in idaho & then had it returned... it's a survivor; it has provenance (that reminds me: watch, if you can, the great movie "who the $!&*# is jackson pollock?" - you can rent it at the main kern county library)

candye kane, dusk devils slide show!!

what a great time!! candye, w/her million dollar smile & aura, was so very kind. :) and what a set of pipes! the world deservedly loves this gal; i know i do! (more exclamations:) laura chavez is amazing! candye was the queen, laura the princess, & i, the 2nd princess... what a fantastic audience!! the good vibes were overpowering. philbert & marcus were handsome & terrific, as usual; all was in the pocket & electric. :) i feel so grateful & know that w/"positive affirmations" (candye told me) & non-stop music music music (my realization), all will be well... gusgus the perennial puppy woke me so he could go potty, so here i am, feeling like in this moment life is a pure treasure & the dawn sings. like candye said, "we have bodies, we have life"... love to all who were there or wanted to be...
lastly, thx to rick for playing w/the dusk devils for 17 months. best wishes w/future projects! he did a great job last night; it was a generous way for him to sign off w/us. :) (lastly lastly, thx to b for taking pix.) :)

candye kane, dusk devils tomorrow! (read below) + coolnesses #1-23

it's been so dang long since i wrote, i'm just gonna list:
1. we pulled up to the lamplighter in visalia & saw in the winders posters for our show! we swung open the doors & the kid at the desk said, "jenny! we finally meet!" everyone was smiling. we felt like royalty!
2. everybody got his or her own room!! in mine, two beds, sliding glass doors, microwave, fridge, wifi...
3. philbert & i walked around downtown visalia & ate at a diner. the waiter comped us french toast!
4. phil offered to unload all my stuff, so i had time to foofoo up w/o worrying. this was a big deal!
5. i descended the hotel stairs in the cool spring eve feeling like touch of evil - teetered over to the gig & there was brian, covered w/road dirt & grinning. he'd ridden over on his motorcycle from the run he was at!
6. phil & i winged some songs w/jd from motel drive during sound check... stomping fun!
7. john bruce, all draped out, introduced us & we crashed on in. everything i said, the audience laughed! i love that. brett got our sound dialed in quickly... i could really hear myself, which means i was able to sing just fine. as sick as i've been, my voice & energy cooperated surprisingly well!
8. there was so much energy in the rm! during whole lotta shakin, i swear i could hear people roaring & cheering while we played. it was wild!!!
9. after, all these young folks were heaping on the compliments. we walked around & jawed w/lots of folks, including becky's new drummer & his girlfriend: what nice people!
10. motel drive was fun! my band watched from outside, hanging on the wall like the little rascals.
12. we went joyriding w/mark & geanna for a while... came back as becky was going on. those guys are tight & high-energy these days!! fun to watch...
13. back at the rm, i ate the comp french toast & surfed the net. phil told me the next a.m. he buzzed off the pillow all night, didn't sleep a wink! we had a quick bite & he got me back to the oildale mtg by 930 am. cool!
14. the next saturday me & phil rode out to famoso & waited in the dust at the coolest abandoned diner... agreed it'd be a swell place to snap band pix! phil was decked out - spectator creepers, vintage pineapple shirt, black slacks... that guy can really style!
15. the others showed & we caravanned out to relay for life at the high school. people were sooo nice, but the sound from the stage was nonexistent! as sick as i've been, i thought w/doom, if the 2nd gig's like this, i'm gonna be dead. i was singing really hard, tho i knew i shouldn't, just to feel my own voice & gauge my pitch! w/no monitors, the others had to watch my lips the whole show to know where we were..
16. highlights: a southwestern granny w/beautiful gray hair & red lipstick/shirt bopped away gently in her seat, on her face such a look of happiness & longing, my heart melted; a chubby, darling, bespectacled little girl just stood there, head cocked like a puppy, smiling up at me...
17. they whipped us up delicious carne asada tacos & sodas for the rd. yum!!!! i think i ended up eating most of them...
18. we sped back to bako to the johnny burnette trio & started hauling stuff down the sandrini's stairs for the pub crawl gig.
19. where's all the people? i asked mark, & he replied, oh, they'll be here. boom! suddenly the rm was PACKED elbow to elbow w/all these young people in blue shirts - all roaring drunk!!! the underground cave-rm was a cacaphony of screaming, whooping, yelling, guzzling, happy little borrachos!
20. we began & everyone started jumping up & down like mad, writhing, wriggling, pointing, howling, jumping on the stage... kids were even dancing on the tables!! at the end of each song, they would scream at the tops of their lungs & snap a million pictures, wild w/alcohol happiness... who'd've thought it'd've been so wonderful to play for a packed rm of young inebriates? they looked so happy... i wish i could get some of those pix...
21. the promoter slapped the dough on mark's amp & charged out like the pied piper, the screaming blue shirts in tow... just like that, everyone was gone to the next pub & we suddenly could hear how ear-bleedingly loud we were! the bodies had been soaking up the noise all along...
22. we packed up & took phil's friends to jake's tex-mex. they ate like birds & we had jake's cake, which is so tasty, it seems indecent.
23. i don't guess there's been any more gigs since last wkend... we have had to turn down a few, in fact, due to phil's boy scout commitments! i say that's a great reason to miss out, tho... but stay tuned for tomorrow night: we open for candye kane at the doubletree... whoo-hoo! come on down! (read below)

CandyeKane-DuskDevils Fri in Bakersfield!!!

here's the flyer. come early cause we might start at 6:45!! don't miss candye!! don't miss us!!! they're doing a deal where you can get a ticket OR a meal, so call world records to get the scoop. ... the photos below of the lamplighter show ALMOST make that writing muse stir (she's been hiding under a rock, i think)... boy, that was sure a fun event!! the blurriness & tone on the smaller one remind me for some reason of a j.s. sargent exhibit i once saw in d.c.... i think pt of the block is at all recent shows from dex romweber to lamplighter to last wkend's two-fer, people've taken pix & videos & said they'd send 'em, but i haven't seen a one!! so it all feels kinda inconclusive (like seeing a photo of oneself brings wholeness? but don't they steal the soul?) ok, well maybe after friday's show, the muse'll blink alive & jump. we'll just see...

uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh...

(sound of panting, sound of jogging, sound of too too busy, sound of exhalted king lux huffing a microphone...)
today i got the best possible health news from my biopsy results & then zoom!!! everything took off like a rocket!! anyways, i guess i'll catch up w/last wk later - no time now! a friend said now should be a time of celebration of good health, but i just gotta get this done & get some shut-eye!!
tomorrow: 5k at csub, registration 7-8, race (shudder) 8 am, $10 plus can of food, pancake breakfast after, whoopee!! details here or here: www.andynoise.com or www.bakersfieldtrackclub.com
the rest i'll paste from myspace. please come out & see us, if'n you can & wanna!!! :) :)
-> 4/25/2009 2:30 PM - Dusk Devils, Relay for Life Wasco/Shafter
Wasco High Football Field Wasco, California 93280
Cost:? Description:Wasco High School Football Field (corner of Palm Ave. & 5th Street). We’ll do a mini set at 2:30 pm. You can catch us later that day in Bakersfield, 4 pm (read up).
-> 4/25/2009 4:00 PM - Dusk Devils at Sandrini’s, Downtown Pub Crawl
20th/Eye Streets Bakersfield, California 93301
Cost:? Description:We’re on as part of the Downtown Pub Crawl... Come on down, all the way down, to the basement pub called Sandrini’s, and whup it up with us. :)

tomorrow is the Big Day

i go to the rx for maybe the most important medical announcement for me ever. maybe. but heck - who knows - a person can only get OLDER!!!! anyways, throw some salt over your shoulder for me. since last monday, i've completely changed my diet, am mostly off caffeine (gott in himmel!!!), & am taking herbal remedies. only the great pumpkin, or blessed virgin, or fate, or the winds, or the doorknob know what's next.
haven't even written about the wonderful wkend that was last. or the wonderful person i spoke w/today, the latest angel in my life... so after tomorrow, i will write more. or go off the deep end!!!!! maybe this is goodbye!!!
we play saturday at wasco relay for life, 3 pm, location here: www.duskdevils.blogspot.com
ohhhhh, rockin' in the graveyard
ohhhhh, rockin' in the cemetery... (whistling in the dark; i ain't scared; tweet tweet tweet)

grazie per l'amicizia

the happy easter wk in pared-down prose

->I-5. buds: blue, gold, white, violaceous. paleta, rompope with raisin. santa cruz: pure sky, boardwalk, rides, shrieks, thrills, sweet fried smells, mechanical laughing sal. bathhouse soak, meeting, maralise, woody, tostada, sleep. san francisco: rainy sutro baths, cliff house, bratwurst & sweet mustard at tommy’s joint, bargain hotel on lombard, coit tower, exhaustion, tv, nap, tv, walk the castro, pecan & ginger cookies, sleep. run in cow hollow/marina, best breakfast on lombard at home plate w/scones, homemade jam, fresh eggs; mission, valencia, haight st, ok crepe, outer richmond, twin peaks, nap, hiking yoga!
->deserving its own graph: met very tall & super-fit owner eric kipp at ferry bldg & we took off, hoofing it from the embarcadero to coit tower via steep, verdant staircases w/yoga stops in between; the only student for this particular class, i felt like i had a personal trainer for 75 mins! it was exhilarating, oxygenating, thrilling, allowing a person to see unusual, beautiful pts of the city, amazing vistas, to hike like mad, to learn better hiking & yoga form. highly recommended: www.hikingyoga.com
->brian wasn’t yet ready to pick me up, so hiked wearily, legs trembling, back UP to north beach, wandered to stay warm, got a slice of the most delicious hawaiian pizza, stood at a corner near café trieste bleary w/fatigue, just gazing at the city & munching pizza, lovely; crashed & slept like a happy corpse.
-> rain, rain, great breakfast at joe’s java house at pier 30 (swing music; swell, nostalgic open setting; free parking; million$ vw of bay; cheap grub), frustrated in berkeley trying to find amtrak, hostel; b goes home to bako. am a bit sad, but he wants to get back to the barn, as b does, & we have had a very happy trip already.
-> walking, walking, walking university ave, i admire a thrift shop proprietor’s purple eye makeup & she replies, “ooh, you, too, honey. You got that SWOOP goin’ on!” walk to shattuck, then telegraph, find amoeba where will listen to music, walk past people’s pk where someone strolls by loudly selling acid, nearly cliché in that setting. get $1 milk tea, pink gloves against the cold; at hostel, make bed using all the sheets & comforters (private rm), crash. soon enough, time to walk to amoeba for the music show...
-> dex romweber duo at amoeba: amazing!!! am so happy to be there!!! dex looks little like his professional photos, short/stocky & all head, a born performer that way, w/suffering trout maw & thick swoop of graying hair, compelling, mournful, dignified, wild, shredding away at an acoustic guitar like a love-mad elmer gantry, a house on fire, these beautiful intense songs about romance gone wrong & longing & death. he is “roy orbison mixed with jello biafra,” switching from rich, passionate baritone to rockabilly animal snarl in the same breath, his sister sara playing a cajon drum box, & w/just that & his romantic vox & wild guitar, they swell up that room: you can feel it on the back of your neck, like love or murder or ocean or soaring.
-> immediately after, sara jumps up from the cajon & looks right at me: “you wanna see it?” she asks, meaning the drum box. “YES!!!” i enthuse, & jump on the stage. this cajon is made in sta barbara & basically is an amplified wooden box containing metal strings so that when you hit the face, the strings vibrate, creating a snare sound. a center o-hole, when struck (w/hand or reversed foot pedal) activates the kick. sara is so cute (looks exactly like her photos, a skinny tomboy rockstar chick) & way nicer & more down-to-earth than she needs to be. i turn & dex is waiting there, & when i look into his sea-hued eyes, he is far away; they are the wild distant eyes of the passionate music-mad man, steeped in it; he partially is not there anymore because the show is over. his speaking voice is so-lovely southern gentlemanly; they are both kind & sign my cd & i’m high as a kite for quite a while, riding the music roller coaster.
-> dinner at angeline’s new orleans café: salad w/walnuts, cup of gumbo, chicory coffee. huge nighttime fun walking the berkeley streets & visiting ½ price books, so romantic, so alive… the hostel, on frat row, is noisy all night long w/young partiers.
-> get all clean & showered up, pack up, lovely breakfast at crepes-a-go-go, walk walk walk to kill time, bart to richmond because was told that would be all-train, no bus, get on amtrak, THEY WON’T TAKE MY TEXAS VOUCHER!!! pay for ticket ($45), settle in for long long long ride home.
-> pouring rain in bako! friendly smiling b, cody, doggies pick me up; ice milk at dewar’s; get in pajamas & crash while they watch bolt. man, what a great trip it was, & i’m so glad to be home, warm & safe.
-> next a.m. is a blur. somehow i dress for the show, make set lists. mark & phil arrive & do those guys look handsome! smiling, joking, dressed up, great to see them. we caravan to kern river belle/inn, right over the oildale bridge, unloading 400000 lbs of gear, rick arrives w/his gal patty. the dark, tiny place has food & friendly waitress/cook; the crowd is all-biker. we start to play & a tall man comes up w/a ladder to switch on the stage lights. “i paid for em, we’re gonna use em,” he laughs. it’s bob, owner of the joint these past 6 mos. bob sets the tone; it’s a wonderful gig! the burly bikers come & go all afternoon & many stay, drinking, cheering, laughing: the vibe is so positive & happy & upbeat! b & c drop in for one set, along w/olen; it’s great to see them all! one fellow in leathers, tim, stays all day. he is very much a gentleman in expressing his enthusiasms for the band & i; what a nice thing! 3 chord whore darcy’s mom penny shows up; she loves prof longhair! i love penny! we talk a little music. tammy & byron show up, visiting from the bay area!! tammy requests some tunes… they are the cutest hippie-punk couple i know, great folks! bob & jackie want to hire us back for a full wkend. we make a bunch of friends, the kind you’d definitely want to watch your back if things got hairy. patty & others say we're “f***king awesome.”
-> in no way could some fancy hollywood show’ve been as cool unless the people were that warm & friendly & enthusiastic. the audience made all the difference. wow!
-> consider supporting the kern river inn (address below on flyer) & venues like it, the ones that support live local bands & actually pay them… am so sick of these places that only support tv sets blaring sports & karaoke djs & nothing for the bands. i mean, how does a dj’s effort & ability compare to a musician’s? it just flat does not. paying a dj more than a live musician, who practices, works, toils, labors, struggles to create & produce & manifest soul for others’ enjoyment & even transcendence – well, it’s immoral!!!!! yes, clubs/bars are businesses, which only recalls for me the slogan painted at the people’s park: “down with corporate capitalism.”
-> we loaded out, caravanned to various houses to drop off gear, dined at dave's bbq ... too worn out to eat, i just enjoyed the cajun/rockin' blues soundtrack that makes me love going to that place. home, we watched ram mass: fierce grace & then i collapsed into sleep. happy easter, felice pascua to anyone still reading.

dusk devils sat april 11

tell your friends, tell your enemies, thanks you for spreading the word. :) gracias to robert tidwell for setting us up for this one.

well, i've had my fun, but i ain't gonna get well no more

(little walter)... he meant dope. i, unfortunately, mean my physical health. i hate the little voice in the back of my head that whispers to me that the little walter method WOULD work & i WOULD feel better... stupid little voice.
resorted to a z-pack today. hope that'll be the ticket. that & aroma spa from dr bonnet (661-325-NECK) & some practice time w/the hilarious monsieur phil & maybe just a few more good things on this anniversary day & i can finally start getting healthy again... *sigh.*

dusk devils shwag

apparently, bassman mark has been busy... click here to see: http://www.cafepress.com/duskdevils (my favorites are the ornament & dog stuff) :) thank you, mark!

ant invasion; blablablablabla; alotta hopes

- the mysterious max lingo posted a vid from sat night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lajvnGZLMTA ... would imbed it here, but my voice is just a little too laryngitic in the clip for me to feel secure about the singing!!!
- ... many kids at school have commented they saw me on tv, youtube... promoters must've done some publicity on that sat show. too bad i was too sick to see any of it!!!
- saturday's was an immense stage. it was ant music for ant people, bad music for bad people, blablablablablablabla... andale: went to book fair today; lost & found cell phone (curse that infernal thing); was brimstone-breathing dragon teacher due to being sick (poor kids, the uncooperative heathens); went to rx; sent song to whiteboy james that i wrote him (he has commented a few times how much he likes my song "bride of frankenstein"!). brian had wonderful retirement party; was so happy for him, to hear that so many others know him as a man of character & heart. hope he'll transition smoothly into retirementhood; he sure has enough interests, between the hard sciences, engineering, numbers, motorcycles, fellowship, reading, invention, & ceramics/stained glass...
- am headed soon to kickboxing & hope it'll remedy my weird stomach ache & bring improved health somehow (found out i have viral bronchitis)... this wkend's the drunk convention (fri-sun @ doubletree); hope am well enough to do the 5k sat am. then it's off for a northern trip to commemorate 11 yr anniversary & visit woodrow. senyor mark will watch the baby boys & satanic cat here; muchas gracias, amigo.
- rereading, i see many hopes. what is life w/o them? tho mine are not always positive, hope usually no longer feels desperate: it's a marker of love, life, possibility...
- that's it; hope all yall be happy & prosperous, however you may define those thingies...

still not pushing up daisies

- spring fest: beautiful weather; great crew & staff; nice dressing room; humungous stage!! (note photos above - we all look like ants, tho brian got a great close-up of the men.) totally blinding spotlight!! i could see dear mom & dad & ramirezes out there, not really much else... on the periphery, some figures dancing, kids running around, stacy from rabobank singing along!... mark was really sick. phil kicked butt!!! rick was solid. i made it thru the set w/some voice still left, but it was raspier & more painful the longer we went. drank too many energy drinks to make it thru; made it home & buzzed buzzed buzzed like a bumblebee for hrs.
- the nicest moment was during sound check. we finished, & i heard a child's voice: "mrs b!" it was one of my favorite library students. her eyes were lit up & she was grinning ear to ear. "i didn't know you were a singer," she said sweetly. i swear those eyes were full of love. that's how kids are. :) i know i love them, anyhow.
- after the show, a young teacher i know brought his little girls up & they hugged me. before the show, david & yolanda brought their grandkids to the dressing rm. i am so fortunate.
- and today, i only kind of feel like i have the plague. there is hope!!!!
- we have many shows coming up. maybe at one, we'll all be well. :) wouldn't that be something???? all shows are listed at www.myspace.com/theduskdevils ... a most blessed & beautiful day to any who might read this...

let's get out of here, now, with a little bit of this stuff here

(mark made this flyer)... re title: name that EP; it's the best EP ever pressed, ever... show starts 530, we're on at 830. been so sick, can't waste one iota of mojo... let's rock; everybody, let's rock...

sickness

rip, dear reba. what a kind, responsible, cheerful lady. good thoughts to her memory, & to leon. memorial is sun 2 pm at the club. many will speak about her, remember her fondly. am glad to have known her even a little; her happy face will be missed. hope she rests comfortably, wherever she may be now.
struck down by illness yesterday afternoon (the library job is a killer - so many germy books), am home today seriously sick, pain pain in throat, ears, ohhhhh... we have a show tomorrow. the show must go on, tho i might be dead afterward. wish me luck, if you read this, or to break a leg. i wish it to you, no matter what your wkend looks like, good times, life, seize the day, for as the dead remind us: eram quod es, eris quod sum
yowch. i just swallowed. to quote bill cosby, "ice creammmm...."

dusk devils on art fein's poker party (r.i.p. for now)

art posted my least-favorite of my songs, which i wrote thinking of my friend becky, the haughtily-glamorous cattie ness. it's my least favorite, i think, because i'm not haughty!! but on becky, the quality's very alluring. :) i think it'd be fun to be haughty, maybe... the best part of the vid is art's little whoop at the end. it's great to play when he's there bc of his enthusiastic response, like a little kid. :) please watch & rate & thanks.

duskdevils saturday march 28, 8:30 pm, free outdoor show, bring la familia!, plus blablabla

mark made this:
it is amazingly lovely here in bako right now... am not even jealous of art fein for being at sxsw & i'm not!! :) he called a few days ago to say wish you were here or maybe thumb his nose, so i called him back "on behalf of the working class of america" to announce that SOME of us schlubs have to WORK!!!! (look for full AF sxsw report on www.sofein.com) (my tx cousin was here, lessening the injury: her bawdy joy really makes anyplace feel fun as austin, tho certainly in a more quotidian way...) actually, things worked out best w/ddevils NOT going to sxsw, since we all have had family or other issues, & family always will trump band, to sound decidedly unrocknrollish... this wkend dear friends F&B are here, & last night we supped at mama roomba's, & today visited the once-but-no-longer-secret hot springs in the canyon & i hiked around & climbed up rocks & sang w/the birds & the wildflowers (how could a person not?), then we grubbed at the dam corner (well, they had salads; i grubbed) & man, you should hear the avian symphony going on up here in this 2nd-floor aerie right now.
must be 1st-day-of-spring syndrome: beauty is everyplace, & i don't know where i'm going, but at this sec, it's to the shower, & later i hear we'll have pistachio ice cream or maybe the elvis sundae at moo creamery (ice cream, bacon, marshmallow, banana, peanut butter). (ahh... PB... god bless george washington carver...) not much could be better, not at this second, & may this day bring you, too, kicks & grins a-plenty.

now i know why phil's always so tired when he comes to practice from work...

phil hickerson old-school wrestling clip
three things about this clip make me happy:
1. this phil hickerson was a heel from memphis, as was sputnik monroe, integrationist & hero
2. the video setting much resembles that in a scene from my most favorite movie so far this yr, "the wrestler," & w/o the stomach-churning gore
3. the guy dressed as elvis (naturally)
- read below about our upcoming shows, as well as at duskdevils on myspace (i finally got all the dates & times straight)

dusk devils upcoming shows!!!!! (others at www.myspace.com/theduskdevils)

pinetop, yancey, & pete, meade lux, ammons reborn

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

this is my new song about something i have sometimes imagined late @ night while sitting in the music rm. finished it at 3 am, then being a dork (& whacked-out tired), immediately emailed it to some of the world's greatest roots-american music musicians before relistening & realizing one piano solo was off. this is the fixed version, the best i could do! one cool thing i figured out was to split the one analog track into 2, then put a 0.001 lag on one side, which gave it a(n) (i think) neat echo! i hope you like it.

a near-perfect g-rated day: dulce est desipere in loco

coffee, ezekiel toast w/pb for breakfast. took love wagon up granite rd, b driving, stepson cody shotgun, dogs wrapped around me in back, listening to NPR. purple, yellow, pink, pale blue, white wildflowers everywhere, shimmering, magical, verdant hills, sheep, goats, steer, cows, deer, scrub oak, dramatic sky, clean air. stopped at oakgrove cemetery near glennville, a lonely & lovely spirit place. the thin dark headstone of margaret, "my beloved wife," sighed under a spidery tree. baby benton's tiny headstone sat way off, all alone. i had a vision moment w/sunlight & windchime in tree, & i'm suspicious of such things, but it happened... on the rd again, a red tailed hawk flew down, then floated, brilliant!, right in front of the love wagon before soaring off... roadside chile verde monster burrito near ducor, home along porterville hwy, headed up bluffs to mom & dad's. mom & dad smiled, aunty rita had her hair done & her red lipstick on, smiling, uncle henry was there for the 1st time in wks, frail as a baby but w/white teeth flashing. i don't remember my little uncle being so handsome. his breath is just a whisper, but his spirits high. so much laughing, & of course, tons of food, from enchiladas to (more) chile verde. i took a run down panorama toward union until b & c picked me up, then at home, we watched the gorgeous LA apocalypse movie "miracle mile," god, i so love that film, then cleaned up & headed to speaker mtg where got to hear handsome old burt read "ch 3" in his sonorous tones, which in a flash i realized are positively johnny cash-like; i could die listening to his voice... then my old friend dan spoke & tho i've known him 13 yrs & see him wkly at our home mtg, i've never heard his story; he was so charming, so sincere, so real tonight. i'm so proud & grateful to know people like him.
now it's time to go mix some music tracks, then head to sleep, & tomorrow, no work! tho i love my library kids more & more, a day off's a wonderful thing. :)

he was a boogie-woogie boogy boogy man

-> some say words alone mean little: divorced from sound, emanating from higher brain, they're less "real," spontaneous, more studied, more potentially ironic... i don't care! i lean toward primitivism, too, like only the fortunate do when such a bent is not intrinsic, but to the devil w/what inhibits fun! plus i like my little story here & hope you do, too. :) wrote it mon night, played on it yesterday (but gita's bd song & extreme squirreliness were higher list), recorded it tonight, hope to mix it tomorrow. my stupid right hand is a real bummer... yet i have such piano-playing fun!!! :) :) :) if i have your email address, i likely might spam the "music" to you once done... cheap, fast, sizzling, salty, sweet spam... (insert homer simpson drool)

BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN
i was just sitting on a night all too same
outside an owl kept on calling my name
i could tell that it was getting real late
i finally whispered, mr. owl, why frustrate?
i was just sitting watching the shadows creep
the way they move real slow when the hour's deep
the black of night-time parted, i stood and said
who goes there, spirit, and are you alive or dead?
IT WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(pete johnson-style piano solo)
he warmed up with the fives, of course in "c"
the shades began to swirl as he bewitched the keys
i saw the specters smile as he went round the horn
pinetop, yancey, and pete, meade lux, ammons reborn
HE WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(ammons-lewis style piano)
he rocked and rolled those ivories til dawn was near
the room transformed into a juke joint without peer
8 to the bar, hop, jump, stride, shuffle he did play
the morning shade flew up, he vanished in the day
HE WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(closing piano)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!

am trying to post a max fleischer-style youtube library vid to my library school wiki & IT WON'T WORK!!!!!!!!! anyways, whatta wkend. the show, what fun, vince rocked, philbert rocked, we rocked, 3 chord whore rocked, rock rock rock everybody, lotsa friends, cool!! then jani & i went to the coast & her dang vw window broke! so our host bob rode us to a body shop to get it fixed & we bummed around town, jawed & laughed, got the car back, she spoke & did a swell swell job @ one of those seaside mtgs where folks just don't seem too happy in general; maybe it's the beach thing, trying to "find oneself" & just getting more lost in the process, anyhow, our host wasn't that way, a swell & helpful fellow...we got late-night pizza then i hunkered down on the couch, all swaddled up like a papoose in our little b&b & watched directtv til i hit some button & messed it all up, then the next am jani was SICK AS A DOG all of a sudden!! so i went for a run, waiting for her to pull herself out of bed, went down to the beach, poked in the tidepools, said a prayer for uncle henry the sailor, headed back toward land & saw a bunch of deer gentle & beautiful as angels, took the last 1/4 mile straight DOWNHILL, legs flying, boy, was that fun! finally jani was well enough to get in the car (we concluded she might've had a little food poisoning), so we drove back to bako, then it was time for my sponsor's party & what a lovely corny happy event that was, w/food & singing & dancing & SHE gave US presents, tho it was HER birthday!! i sang frankie lymon, ruth brown, shirley & lee, then delphi & i did joan jett, then we kissed everyone goodbye & headed home.
we dusk devils have a bunch of shows coming up, but for now, i'll leave it at that & try to calm down a little to go watch the simpsons. es todo. espero. calmame, por favor... we'll see...