aaaahhhhhhhhhh......... running calms the infernal coconut

i just "ran" a 10k, the first "race" of any length i've attempted in 5 years. my time was quite slow. i have self-diagnosed myself as having upper hamstring tendinopathy after watching videos & reading, so started rehabbing myself at home, but i'm a flake, so i dropped the ball & it's sore again. i've been sick all week, too (read below about My Hero, who often is more tragic hero, actually)... i was slow slow, but i know i can get strong again. it's been near-10 years since i got into running. i guess this one i just did was pretty difficult, through the tejon ranch "conservancy" (how noble of them to preserve all this beautiful land Just for Us... tho i doubt their motives when they used some of that land for an outlet mall & now will jam in a huge town right at the base of the grapevine)...i just found this image of the elevation profile of the total course.

in line for the commode, we meet a bunch of amped-up women in matching workout gear who were hyping their obstacle training course in long beach... tho probably in better shape than i, they fell behind quickly, likely not used to the elevation since they live at sea level (they train on signal hill, which tho a steep hill, is at most a few hundred feet high). i'd be in the same boat if i ran in, say, flagstaff or albq or machu picchu. ha!

the course was quite beautiful; the "conservancy" seems to have a lot more water available than does the general mountain area... green, rolling hills; robin's-egg skies; black and dark green oaks; a lake; the shadows; the breezes: nice... i started off with christy & her daughter, but told them to go on as i immediately felt my hamstring seize. but i finished, i finished, i finished, & the best part of long runs usually IS finishing, unless one is strong enough to run endlessly, & then the pleasure is in the act... but i'm no longer, or maybe just not right now (i hope), that strong....

one of my dear sponsees just called; we had such a great chat! it's amazing how talking with another alcoholic woman can help me so, so much. related to our talk is this:

alcoholism is such an insidious disease. it breaks the hearts of all who love the alcoholic. there are a thousand ways it ruins lives. 12 step programs may not be for you, but please, if you read this & relate, i beg you to change by whatever method works for you. an alcoholic death is a slow, painful, ravaging misery upon you and everyone who loves you. jnypg (sober not because i hate drinking, but because i love it too much, to my ruin) http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/INFO%20LIST/20Questions.htm

(ps, normal drinkers, party on)

no yoga!!! aaaaah!!!!... and cool photos

photo by casey reagan

thought yoga teacher debbie was still in costa rica, didn't go. she's here. aaaaaaahhhh!!! i missed awesome saturday morning yoga at the library!!!! crap!!!!
just added a new free yoga channel on roku, so guess will do that today. and "run." i put that in quotes bc my pace has become snail-like after reading the book the world at my feet, a boring book about an amazing accomplishment: aussie guy my age or beyond runs AROUND THE WORLD using "attrition running" method, which means slowwwww & steady, the way ancient humans used to wear out prey. our physiology reflects this basic purpose, from steadying tendon behind skull (so we don't head-bob like a chicken when ambulating) to gigantic gluteus maximus (shock absorber) to arch of foot (same). i've been sometimes running w/my cheerful science teacher friend christy, who noted my BP & resting heart rate will drop if i will run more.
I LOVE TO RUN!!! I NEED TO DO THIS FOR MY HEALTH & HAPPINESS!!!!
anyways, we didn't go see gene & phil yesterday. james has been sick w/cold. so here are pix from last wkend's shows, which both were really awesome except oildale people AGAIN stole from james (time-before-last, his t-shirts; this time, his harmonicas), so next visit to oildale will likely bring major ass-whuppin' upon some rat coward thieves & disrespecters... except for the top, these great pix are from kaykay & krystal. i feature more pix of me bc this is my blog. top pic of james is one that casey r photoed: james is one super-photogenic awesome stud of a frontman. :)
oh! and now i can say: he & band (he says including me) will play at this year's bayou blues festival AND doheny blues festival. :) whoo-hooo!!!
one more fest is pending. more later. time to go "run." :)

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

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panoramic view from hills NE of bakersfield on a lovely jog

it makes hiking/jogging/running even so, so much more fun, giving many exciting measurements in real time. only problem is, my speed has gone way down as i stop 984 times on each run to check my stats.  uphills are much less difficult when you can see your altitude inching upward w/each muscly heart-pounding foot strike. this is a cannonball glute-inducing method! it's lovely to feel strong, as james would attest; "we're not doing bad at all for our age!" he said.
tomorrow peewee kitty will be snipped & then maybe will garner some tiny semblance of feline sanity, if such a thing's possible. with reduced testosterone levels, he may gentle down enough that we can start him on leash training. my former bandleader & nowaday friend karling used to go everyplace with her black cat baby on leash & i thought it was just another marker of her eccentric ways... now, tho, i know when you're traveling all the time, it's just practical to make sure gato is as domesticated as is possible to domesticate a tiny tiger!!
about time to go finish the final episodes of united states of tara on netflix. toni collette in the title role is a gangly, glamorous/grotesque, labile kind of actress, & the other actors, too, are really swell, really making the show. tho the dialogue's gotten increasingly arch & artificial as the series has progressed, & i don't like collette's interpretation of a most recent "alter" (too broad, in my opinion, to be frightening), i've enjoyed gluttoning out on the show, stuffing myself into a stupor on the entire three seasons in a week. w/its unlimited access to streaming tv series, one to umpteen seasons, netflix has created a new form of binging -- just what we americans need. i guess for me better netflix than any number of other addictions far more nefarious... :)
ps - the best movies i've watched recently on netflix have been these: tomboy (2011, france); we are the best! (2013, sweden); & GLOW (2012, USA) as well as monster (2003) on youtube w/an unforgettable oscar run by charlize theron, the film goddess from south africa. i didn't watch the last one for the longest time cause i thought i'd freak out & that christina ricci would be irritating... but it's a must-watch, most definitely...

happy birthday, elvis!!

am a bit too bored to configure an interesting title for this post... been creating activities all day so i don't have to do responsible things. por ejemplo: angie & doug got us these universal figurines for christmas, so i posed them & made a picture. always tough to draw w/mouse since i'm a lefty & the default set-up of most everything on earth is righty, but the pic conveys the message. used to be i'd toil for hours & hours to get a graphic image just right, but am too lazy to do that now... i've always figured, probably have written here, the bride had just come to life -- she didn't know what the heck was going on -- of course, she freaked out. if she'd had a little time to wake up, think about it, looked at the big cadaverous hunk w/violent tendencies, yes, but an innocent heart, she would've gone for him. years ago i wrote a song about the bride's side of things & that's how i met james: he heard it online, liked it, got hold of me. blablabla; i've written all this here.
our kitty likes peas. and sugary things. if we gave him booze, he'd become an alky cat. it's weird & wonderful how the mouse-faced, damp, palm-sized mat of fur james brought home now is this insane, beautiful, long-limbed, fat-bellied creature, very healthy. years ago, i had a dog i loved so very, very, very much, an adorable, sweet-tempered black & tan butterball with warm brown eyes, soft, floppy ears,  & cute, loyal, comforting personality that would melt any sentient heart. my cousin shipped him from texas & when we picked him up at LAX, he was just a little boy, growing over the years into a precious moose i called "my buffalo." god, i loved that dog & still do, my gusgus -- i keep him & his dog bro roscoe in a drawer in my mind's back 40 so i don't blubber over them -- but his development & growth to me at that time didn't seem miraculous, & this feline's does. every day, the kitty grows noticeably; we are succeeding in raising something! i believe in the next few years we'll nurse other creatures to grow happily & healthily, ones that actually will grow smarter. this cat's never going to go to college. meanwhile we have time to save for a being that will.
well, as soon as james got all the gigantic logs split & chopped, the weather warmed. i don't know if we'll have more snow, but here's hoping. meanwhile, it's nice outside to go for a mountain run if i can get myself to GO. those doldrums kill winds, causing sailing vessels to lose speed, & i'm not much different! least to make headway i don't have to throw peewee the cat overboard, as sailors had to toss to their drowning deaths their animal cargo in those horse latitudes. exercising's just a matter of DOING IT, & i always always love it once i start... once i run out of things to blab on about...
today is elvis's birthday; he would've been 80. my only connection to the king's through marriage: james's uncle gave elvis his first job, when the beautiful boy was 15, at a movie theatre in memphis i should know the name of, & his page family knew the young lad from then on. tonight, brother-in-law doug's movie will premiere at the maya theatre in bakersfield. it's a documentary about human trafficking, & i hope it goes super-well for brother; i'm proud of him, doing such good works. they're gonna even submit the film to sundance! brother thinks big, as well he should, since he is helping to save the world & its innocents...
well, heck, i've read as much as i can read, napped as much as i can nap, wrote as much as i can write, & the bills still need paying & the dishes still need washing... rats!
nothing more's coming from this coconut, so this is signing off from the lovely mountain... time to get busy. :D

bwhahhahahahaha!! yaaaaaay!!! hack sputter cough... s&%t!!

geez, the last 4 nights or so, SOMETHING keeps waking me up in the mid-morn between 3-4:30 -- the wind, the cat, an animal yowling, a loud car -- & then the hacking & retching & coughing & spewing starts... bah! phlegm! (what an accurately crappy yucky onomatopoeic word, huh?!) i think i've used 2 boxes of kleenex since thursday...  wasn't well enough to go with james this weekend, but got to help mom & dad clean their new house & yard today & eat the most delicious food. yesterday i noted that moderate exercise seemed to break up my cold some, so this eve i went for my 1st run in the open spaces around here & it was PERFECT!! the terrain, the hills, the quiet, the breeze, the sky, the colors of the land, the wide, wide sunset... PERFECT!! came back & logged it on u.s. track & field's map it feature, which if you don't know about, is AWESOME. mama called, "why are you being so silly?" and i realized i was singing corny country-western songs way too loud & laughing to myself like a nut... "endorphins!" i called back... hubby's on his way back from music festival & we are going to do MAJOR grocery shopping, i guess tomorrow... hope to get to the kern county fair before it closes -- tonight, friend tammy l was celebrating her "27th" birthday at the fair, at the joan jett concert -- happy birthday!; bummed the LA fair closes tonight & i didn't get to go this year... county fairs are the best!
yes, all is well -- if you don't think so, go out for a little jog, run, or stroll! :D :D :D :D

evol.

- wasn't that the name of a sonic youth LP? on the front was this snarling, crawling monstrous chick... my brand of love's just backwards, & tho i've been snarling & monstrous in my time, i hope my brand of love's not. love in my estimation is noble, brave, kind, generous, heart-swelling, hormonal, obsessive, lascivious, perverse, etc. etc., but also awkward, oblique, bashful, stumbling, bumbling, stupefying, stupid-making: evol.
- my band practiced here tonight. stripped down, all sounded so grand & smart & fun & exciting... i want to record us next time we practice at my little place... yes, after i got over my pity party (the guys are much better musicians than am i), we sure had fun, i think. :) yes, this wkend we're playing a sober picnic... then markoni gets to go play the beerfest. priceless! from the sober drunks to the drunk drunks - what a capper! just goes to show reality trumps fantasy in the departments of interesting, weird, & funny. :)
- this past wkend, my sis & i did a 5k. i'll let her tell you about it, tho i'll say it was her 1st... here's a pic of us (from andy noise) w/my hair flying attractively. not. it sure was fun to share that experience w/my little sissy, tho. :)
- then sunday this man & i went to venice beach & saw the creature pictured. i said, "you are awesome!!!" & he replied placidly, "you have to take root before you can branch out..." on the sand, a crush of stoned youngsters & hippies & more were beating out a gigantic drum circle-dervish to celebrate "4/20," which you either dig ref to or do not. i didn't really, til the big man told me, cause in my old life, every day was 4/20.
- lastly, here's a pic that needs no explanation.

POST 400!!!!!!! (good gravy)

-> just got back from nice evening w/family, concluding w/nighttime run on the bluffs at panorama pk (dramatic pic from mrs'melinda on flickr is pretty much what it looked like, tho it was darker & more mysterious-glimmery). in my probably-too-cynical view, this city's not done enough to make this place an interesting & diverse & culturally-rich hometown of which to be proud, but in my adult life "they" HAVE installed some niceties that don't involve conspicuous consumption or debt incurrence, such as the bike path, the beale library, CALM, a few of the city pks (i save my greatest happiness for when "they" restore hart pk)... but the nicest nicety of all, i think, is what they did to "the bluffs." a rough guide smear of bksfld derisively commented that the only vw in this town overlooks oil fields; you could smell disdain steaming from the ink. my thought: of COURSE it is, city slicker! & to quote brian, you ain't from around here, are ya?? overlooking "the (oil) dale" & opposite the aging mansions of panorama drive are the bluffs, which served as the old makeout spot/lover's lane for generations of locals. at these bluffs, no doubt scores of young females (me being only one) were embarrassed more than once w/beaux when busted insert latin phrase by cops in the middle of the night. it was just dirt then, dirt that picked up & blew around & made people sick when the dust storms hit, a place if you had a gal or guy you just NEEDED, yet nothing to look at, in fact, a real eyesore. yet, i was offended when they turned the bluffs into a pk. the triumph of yuppiedom!! where will kids go now to fool around??? (i underestimated the ingenuity of hormone-driven youths, who certainly continue to find abandoned shopping centers & dirt fields in freshman attempts to perdure the specie... you gotta admire such tenacity, i spose.)
-> but you should see this pk now! it is a true jewel. the weather's changed & evenings now are wonderful california balmy-cool, but even when summer nights were 100 plus, the meandering path teemed w/families, couples, work associates strolling, laughing, stumbling, jogging, pecking & cooing. i say, now that my knee's stopped jerking on the whole topic, it's wonderful that our community has this treasure.
-> a poem about travel & obligation comes to mind, & tho tonight i had no obligation except to get my carcass home & to bed, i paraphrase: the bluffs are lovely dark & deep, and i have promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep, and miles to go before i sleep. (actually, it's only 3.65 miles (approx) out & back, from manor/panorama to panorama/alta vista.)
-> if you're here &'ve never tried it, hit the bluffs some cool evening to see a lovely side of bakingfield that might help you feel a bit less hopeless about this place.

blablabla

(pic from www.andynoise.com, "home of kern county athletics") when i arrived at last night's run, paul anderson & friend made fun of my shorts: "are those leather?" "no, i think they're pleather," they said. he decided they fit my "rock star image." i told him they were from the texas thrift store. that's the name of the place - off the 35 in north austin! it's almost like a college used book store - i got a bunch of great titles, & could've gotten more if i'd had more rm in my suitcase.
last night's run was difficult (over 100 again), but great. the feeling after running is absolutely exhilarating. today is band practice, & i can't wait. i'm hoping to have myself a bd party - invite friends, family, musicians who like the stuff i like; we'll see. meanwhile, have been housesitting for my folks & am taking the dog boys back to their dad. it's been nice to hang out w/them. they live in the moment & love unconditionally. as angie sister says, "dogs are proof of god." booyah.
-p.s. - this gal is awesome: www.youtube.com/user/ivoryticklermama

photos by rebecca caraveo

went for two runs this evening! mama made angie's favorite, spaghetti carbonara. becky sent all these cool photos! the world seems a better place than yesterday... wishing you good health & happiness

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!

am trying to post a max fleischer-style youtube library vid to my library school wiki & IT WON'T WORK!!!!!!!!! anyways, whatta wkend. the show, what fun, vince rocked, philbert rocked, we rocked, 3 chord whore rocked, rock rock rock everybody, lotsa friends, cool!! then jani & i went to the coast & her dang vw window broke! so our host bob rode us to a body shop to get it fixed & we bummed around town, jawed & laughed, got the car back, she spoke & did a swell swell job @ one of those seaside mtgs where folks just don't seem too happy in general; maybe it's the beach thing, trying to "find oneself" & just getting more lost in the process, anyhow, our host wasn't that way, a swell & helpful fellow...we got late-night pizza then i hunkered down on the couch, all swaddled up like a papoose in our little b&b & watched directtv til i hit some button & messed it all up, then the next am jani was SICK AS A DOG all of a sudden!! so i went for a run, waiting for her to pull herself out of bed, went down to the beach, poked in the tidepools, said a prayer for uncle henry the sailor, headed back toward land & saw a bunch of deer gentle & beautiful as angels, took the last 1/4 mile straight DOWNHILL, legs flying, boy, was that fun! finally jani was well enough to get in the car (we concluded she might've had a little food poisoning), so we drove back to bako, then it was time for my sponsor's party & what a lovely corny happy event that was, w/food & singing & dancing & SHE gave US presents, tho it was HER birthday!! i sang frankie lymon, ruth brown, shirley & lee, then delphi & i did joan jett, then we kissed everyone goodbye & headed home.
we dusk devils have a bunch of shows coming up, but for now, i'll leave it at that & try to calm down a little to go watch the simpsons. es todo. espero. calmame, por favor... we'll see...

bragging?

just found out i came in 5th in my age group in last wk's valentine's day 5k!! woohoo!! i started about 2 mins after the race did, so am amazed! it was a real event, too, w/lots of people! am happily puzzled to know i can accomplish such things, even w/my very non-competitive athletic mindframe. (what chomsky said about spectator sports made a lot of sense...)
a teacher at school who looks kinda like john bazz said he used to run competitively & could do a mile in 4:20 in his youth. amazing!! am hoping i'll merely finish tomorrow's 1/2 marathon. think i pulled something in my hip, but am not thinking about it... you can get info here: www.bakersfieldtrackclub.com
and thanks to andy noise (the photo-taking "wogger") for his encouragement! here's his site: www.andynoise.com
gonna go eat some pasta now, then turn in early (i hope). please, squirrel mind, cooperate...

late at night...

...i go online & try to find proof that elvis possibly still can be alive. i'm not being ironic, & decent people shouldn't write or speak of elvis that way. derision or sarcasm on the topic are just plain wrong, too. i know 2 guys who dislike -- heck, say they even hate -- elvis. i'd just like to slap them both.
tonight i see this pic of an extra in home alone & think, now i have to suffer thru that whole thing to watch this one scene? thank the pearly gates for youtube...
i hope against hope, then dream... elvis; the house w/big windows, surrounded by ocean; climbing & descending amber trails w/rocks & switchbacks; searching for the dogs; whole cities & streets & big familiar old buildings w/lots of rooms, places i've never really seen or lived but know thru recurring dreams; more water seeping around me, ever-present, but i always get out; other uncanny, subconscious, yucky, silly, weird-like-dreams-are stuff...
tonight we watched one of my most favorite movies of all time, "touch of evil," & i wonder why i can't find online proof that welles's makeup was modeled after j. edgar hoover's pug features? must look harder. i love that tough, smart, sordid, romantic movie so much, it's kind of kookoo. in fact, am that way about lots of movies, & songs, & people, & about lots & lots of stuff. life's just too too big & fleeting to feel half-way about.
this vacation has been so very nice, w/kith & kin absolutely packing mom & dad's house, & playing on the little keyboard they've got over there (took the piano when i got hitched, as mama said i could) w/everyone singing christmas songs to get in the mood, extreme calorie consumption, much rest, much couch time. tonight i got in a 5-miler & even a mtg, & what a wonderful thing, the rhythm & hush of breath & feet & the smells & glimmer of winter night. my new ebay shoes are absolute jaguars, corvettes, lamborghinis, & they move me so efficiently along dirt, gravel, asphalt, my machine-like respirations damp in the coolness: sht-sht-sht-(inhale)-sht-sht-sht-(inhale)... i'm automatic, blissed out, i glide, i'm the terminator, james brown, elvis: they are really some shoes!!! hope any who read this are having peaceful & merry times...