hello. i'm jenny page. once upon a time, i had a band in bakersfield cali called the dusk devils. you still can find dd music online. now i live in the mtns & am married to the most awesome frontman alive, whiteboy james. i know him as james or husband. we are as happy as two nuts can be. life is an adventure, a chore, a beauty, a choice, a turn. life is goooood. :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

wow.

i am so calm.
many times, i get on here thinking, "i don't know what to write," & suddenly seven different connections will jump into my head! so i start blablablaaing!
right now..... nothing.
this is weird...........

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

pix from our first time out as a couple

- july 4, 2012 in long beach, photos by dewey
(oh, here i go again, blabbing about my spouse...)
- i remember that day, floating above myself in a haze, being in public with james for the first time. and i indelibly know this pic of him, so much feeling radiating from those sea-blue eyes. he was really physically sick all the time back in these days as well as pretty tortured in his soul; so happy he's getting his health all straightened out now. james still has a lot to tell the world, so much to share... as for me, i shall help children again. and write songs. and play piano. oh yes, and hope to live! not just exist! do you know what i mean?
- last night we listened to howlin' wolf & amazed & enthused over the sinewy atmospheric world of that music, & james told me about hubert sumlin, whom he knew, & i'm forever amazed by james... we were happy to read on the CD liner notes that mr burnett always had the best sidemen cause he bothered to pay them fairly, which james always does & always has done but a lot of front men DON'T, & that burnett, a self-educated high school drop-out (like james) fell in love with his wife lillie tho she was from a proper family & was formerly educated -- you know, like i am. and that they were married for 49 years. happily.
i wish i could tell you a fraction of the stories he tells me about all the musicians & other ppl he's met, stories funny, sad, horrifying, unbelievable, life-affirming. i hope he'll let me ghost-write his book some day: all he'd have to do is sit down & talk; i eagerly would do the typing. it would be quite a read!
not much else up except this a.m. i was so exhilarated to get bloodwork, drug test, AND fingerprinting down all before i came back up the mountain for library work. feels so great to be getting that sense of responsibility & organization back, prepping for the return of the teacher within. then at the library, little tiny terry came up & wrapped his little arms around me & several children are getting to know me & look with such adorable trust to me for direction & we served lunch & corraled kids & introduced an art project & then put away tables & chairs. i still feel pretty great, but who knows? could be that extra-octane coffee i had on the drive home...
oh, that's enough for now.
well,
be well.
be.

Monday, July 04, 2016

happy independence day!

from roadshow revival, pic by kelli
cornball alert: today i've been clean & sober 21 years. i tell you, this is a much better independence day than 21 years ago! it's my life now, & i wouldn't have it any other way. we have so much for which to give thanks, even with life's inevitable lumps & bumps! if you're even teetering about whether to give up a vice or keep it, just remember: that crap will always be out there!! you always can go back to it if the path of abstention doesn't float your boat... assuming it doesn't maim or kill you, as it does & has too, too many!! -- so grateful my life story's been afforded more chapters bc of having been forced to make the decision to drop that damned evil, heavy rock of active addiction. if you gotta problem with the stuff & you vaguely sense or are massively aware of it, sobriety is worth a try, it really is!! love to all, jenny page (& sleeping james)

Sunday, July 03, 2016

blablablablaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


- here are a few pix from last night's show in bakersfield... man, it was scorching hot up til late at night when we rolled anthony into the truck & took his happily inebriated rear end to his hotel room. we had a super-rockin butt-kicking show!! kaykay, with whom we've not spoken really for some months, was really nice, & like most all folks we've met lately, says she likes this line-up of the band better than ever. i especially value compliments from ppl whom i know won't blow smoke up my rear: it feels more truthfully earned. best of all was meeting the fellow last night who, after the show, was shocked to realize there was no bass player & in fact i am the bass player (on the electric piano). "see, jenny?" said laughing anthony, "that's how good you are!" it was a really fun night, i tell ya, & we were thankful for it.
- james befriended caleb, the young man in pic with him. caleb is trying to uphold the rockabilly torch in backwardsfield & james liked him right off. my friend tammy, the gal with the cool red & white do, told me about her involvement lately in "pinups for patriots," raising funds to help vets with ptsd issues, which we of course lauded her heartily for doing... "jinny [that's how she always says my name], you oughta git involved," she told me, & i had to laugh bc when i was younger, ppl approached me here & there asking me to pose for pix, but i just could never do it on a public level. unless i'm in front of a class presenting larnin' material or i have a piano between me & the crowd, it feels too, too weird to pose & posture! i'm the dorky fat kid, not a pinup, & it'll always be that way.
- want to record here for my memory that during this time in my life at all shows i wear the pictured ugly doc marten 12-holes. they were the best thing to come of our too-short recent trip to the city by the bay, from my favorite thrift store in the mission. i've never worn docs, preferring leg-slimming platforms & wedges, but playing in the blues express has forced me to pick practicality over monster fashion. to play to my best, i gotta have shoes that are always the same height & are always comfy, so these have to do for now. i forget how short i am, but school hasn't started yet, so i don't have to be tall for another month...
- mom & dad are off to europe tomorrow. we've been here 5 days now to squeeze out every possible visiting minute. so proud my folks worked so damned hard for so long & now can afford to do such nice things. they'll be attending the welsh eistedfodd [sic], the festival mama's choir won 50 yrs ago (the 1st americans to do so!), taking pix & recording memories for an upcoming documentary on their feat, then spending 5 days or so in london. i doubt they'll sleep much tonight, so excited are they to go! on another note, niece madeline's all the way in korea teaching english, having the time of her life. the girl hardly ever got off the couch or her phone, it seemed to me when she was here, tho she's managed to obtain a BA &'ll be entering an MA program in fall, only 22 yrs old! yet she hopped the plane, went to asia, & posts on facebook daily of her korean escapades, transformed into an active & successful TEACHER!!
- hahahahhaha! it's the genetics: she can't avoid it!
- our other future teacher is mister james junior page, & we got the sweetest, nicest, out-of-the-blue email from him last night. he's usually a more taciturn guy of mordant wit, so to get such an open expression of affection had us both near-blubbering. life dishes up surprise after surprise, but some of the nicest ones are seeing how resilient these youngsters are, how big-hearted & wise & beautiful they are turning out to be. we couldn't be prouder or more grateful.
- oh, & tomorrow i celebrate 21 years without booze or illegal narcotics. wow!

Monday, June 27, 2016

larry r.i.p.

a long time ago, many life chapters ago, i had a younger boyfriend & his best friend was named larry. larry's name around town with some was "scary larry" bc he had the most morbid taste you could imagine in that pre-internet era! hanging out with larry & friends meant a night of very heavy drinking, maybe some psychedelics, listening to records, & watching disturbing videos, some i wish to this day i could erase from my memory, but much that were so cool, like john waters & russ meyer films... always, always we listened to the cramps. we worshipped the cramps! we all still do, living or dead! shantell -- the tough-looking gal with the soulful gaze & sweet friendly voice, bakersfield punk rock drummer, underground dj, & lifelong dear friend of larry's -- wrote that now larry's in heaven with lux. i hope so. i hope they all are there, all the ones who ravaged themselves to death with booze & drugs & loneliness & wild &/or long nights too many... i was turned on to so much fantastic outsider americana/punk at this time, being around larry, from hasil adkins to the legendary stardust cowboy & esquerita, screamin' jay hawkins, the gun club, the mummies, real rockabilly (not the polished pop barf variety, but the sincere but tough unwashed no-BS raw kind)... the list goes on & on...
larry elected to become a mortician & his school death mask, i remember, was of ed gein. it was quite artfully wrought, of course, for in my experience, the most creative people are not just tortured into self-loathing or insanity in some ways, they're also the most highly talented in many ways, being probably more touched by the divine, maybe icarus-like closer to the sun tho they may not even realize it, to the eternal flames, to immortality that conversely brings rushed mortality... i am rambling because i am sad.
we were in the motel the night before roadshow revival when i learned larry had died. earlier in the day we'd rushed to RSR to see our favorite band, our hero, james's life-long friend & mentor & my teenaged-thru-age-40+ object of adoration & lust & were shocked to tears by what we saw... the musician lifestyle is ravenous, just devastating to healthy longevity; so sad, tragic, heartbreaking, whatever you want to call it that the brightest, most bursting talents end up crashing so hard (see above)... so i already was pretty depressed when learned about larry.
i always knew larry was a loving, sweet guy under all the dark interests. but turns out the morbidity that turned him toward the profession of mortician, along with his love of outsiders, created a champion who was brave & determined to help when people lost their loved ones. story after story told of larry caring for the grieving, going the extra distance to help loved ones at their saddest moments. he didn't just dress corpses, but made sure people could say goodbye to their girlfriends, parents, & other loved ones in the most dignified, protected manner... in other words, i found out my friend "scary larry" was in some way a saint.
then i found out he had "drank himself to death," & the floor fell away.
alcohol is a demon. i really believe it should be outlawed, except then it just would go underground & still would be used, would even thrive in use. we who have the itch, who cannot steadily be in the flow of g.o.d., want what we cannot have & that want often is for something ruinous. again, i think that's bc the craving for the divine turns in the wrong direction & becomes a craven lust, tho most anyone would laugh if i told them that in that way, so i'm writing it instead... were i fundamentalist, i think i'd describe it as god vs the devil, the almighty struggle for our souls, but that implies we're puppets instead of beings with free will, but then again sometimes the simplicity of the religious story (i don't mean that disparagingly) makes a lot of sense to me, efficiently eliminating the gray, like when i'm really sad...
yes, alcohol is demon, destroyer of families, ultimately a foul tidal wave drowning love, self-respect, lives, soul. if you mess with this nasty, filthy drug, be warned: it might kill you & devastate everyone who loves you. now don't think, please, if i see you drinking that i will condemn you: no. you are the only one who knows if you take a drink, the drink takes you. if that's the case, STOP! if it's not, continue drinking. have fun! i guess some do, tho that's not the case for me, nor too many people i have loved who no longer live because they just wanted to drink, not realizing there was no case of want: they HAD to drink.
one of the biggest blessings of the fact that i had to stop my alcoholic drinking on july 4, 1995 is that i have not broken my mother's heart since then. i've had sad things happen, have made stupid decisions, have made her worry, but break her heart? no longer. i am so grateful for that...
++++++++++++
james shocked the crap out of everyone who saw him at RSR: the human comet named james hit that stage & blew it to bits! afterward, full bore, he continued to whirl & smash his way around the grounds until he went out like a firework. he's in rest period right now, but the show advertised on this poster i made this morning is happening saturday, & he'll be back at his powerful full-steam by then, so i hope you'll go.
now back to teaching duties, for i am going back into the classroom come august, i do believe. i am creative, but i am not one of The Creatives. therefore i suffer, have artistic & emotional angsts [sic], but basically am a mere workingman kind of artist, a crazy pragmatist, salieri to the mozarts around me.... ok, whatever: better stop writing now because i'm boring myself. please come to the show, if you can!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

this weekend...

whiteboy james & the blues express plays this friday at sammy's original in lake forest ca & sunday 1 pm at the roadshow revival festival in ventura ca (see www.whiteboyjames.com for details). at bottom's the front & back of a flyer i made up we'll distribute at the fest. we opted to not sell merch. we don't want to give up even a penny. it's gonna be a good bunch of fun! i think fans will go nuts when the see james just being james!
just walked home from library. big uphill! high elevation! it's summer on the mountain, pretty hot (though with breezes blowing, thank goodness)! my favorite part of the walk/hike home is when i get to the cut-off point where i can take a short cut, climbing about 15-20 ft up the side of the road via a rope somebody thoughtfully tied to a shrub at top. it's a rugged detour, but rewarding: you gotta use your muscles, you gotta stretch, you can't be a weakling!
my "lunch at the library" job for june-july has been dubbed "the library workout" by boss marie: we put up & break down 10 tables & 70 chairs! between all the gigs & this, i lost 5 lbs last week, even with stupid thyroiditis & middle age & bad eating habits influenced by ravenous james, who eats like a hibernating beast, or like he might have a tape worm, but likely like a creature with high-gear hyper-manic metabolism... i can't eat like that, so am grateful to enjoy exercise & have opportunity lately to do more!
last wk i built a "meditation shack" on the back 40. my counselor-lady recommended i have a place to go meditate & pray, so i got a bunch of scrap lumber & nails & paint we already had & built a little place at the top of the hill in "the back yard" (leading to the national forest). happily, the view within is glorious. i cogitated a bit before starting construction, such as how to build it & where to put it, but didn't give a thought to view, so that was one pleasing coincidence.
i need to crawl in there & commune with the Great Spirit or Pumpkin or Singularity or whatever Good Grandness i only amorphously understand but do feel in a definite, visceral, even at times forceful sense -- anyways, think & surrender a bit about what to do with my career path. am grateful to be wanted in a few different fields, but the thought of giving up this bohemian lifestyle of 6 yrs' running to again step onto the path of job respectability, security & big bucks is... intimidating.
well, here's the flyer.  if you wanna order anything, just follow the directions & we'll send you some WBJ swag... tho please don't hold your breathe bc we can be a little tiny wee bit inefficient around here in getting tasks promptly completed (you WILL get your stuff, tho! you WILL!) :D

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

binge

i have declared as my sworn enemy from this day forward the edible crack called crunch 'n' munch.