DUSK DEVILS' Upcoming shows listed at www.myspace.com/theduskdevils (not!)... CONTACT: rule 62 jen at yahoo dot com or the dusk devils at yahoo dot com; www.myspace.com/THEduskdevils (music); www.youtube.com (search "Dusk Devils"); a page exists on facebook, as well...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!

i've had too much coffee.
was wrestling w/infernal ebay trying to upload pix of junk--i mean, precious treasures--to try to auction & my phone started whining wheee!!wheee!!!wheeee!!! in a scary emergency manner, like a guinea pig gone banshee. the screen flashed, "warning: high winds and dust storm approaching." aaaah!! those can get downright terrible in the central valley, stirring up valley fever, causing even more respiratory sickness! so i called bakersfield, but they already had all windows sealed up & it was blowing big time brown down there, said family. here it's just been high winds all day, cool & kinda creepy... well, geez, that's about it except it's countdown one week to two years' wedded bliss. :D things these days are shwell & i couldn't be happier, like i feel less anxious & neurotic than i can ever remember... i'm finally realizing that being rich in ways other than dollars, & sharing that w/the one i love, is so so far superior to worrying all the time... getting free, after all these years... thank you, great pumpkin/buddha spirit/good orderly direction/grandfather/grandmother/lord!
oh crap!! gotta run!! rats!! stupid time!!
have a nice wan

Saturday, October 11, 2014

blablablablablabla

i'm glad i take pix or i'd remember even less of this day-to-day blur called life. just dumped some pix into facebook so could grab most-easily this one of my sister & i when we were wee as well as the one of james as a fierce-looking young pop warner football player (what a game face!) & while looking at photos, i remembered all kinds of other neat things i've gotten to do lately which had immediately slipped out of my head til triggered by pix... to keep it short, right now there are great photographs by mexican artists at both the bakersfield museum of art & the latin american museum of art in long beach. some of the same photos appear in both exhibits, in fact! of the two exhibits, i think the bakersfield one actually is better, which makes me proud of my friendly smoggy dumb-headed hometown. it has its pleasantries, for sure. go see either or both exhibits while you can! also, the LAMOA or however it's abbreviated is free on sundays. :)
wanted to post the pic of angie & i cause it's her birthday weekend & i just love her so very much: she really is such a wonderful human. this picture for me captures what a lovable darling little sprite she was as a child (this reminds me: you should check out the gentle french film TOMBOY on netflix to see adorable children w/all their beautiful funny honest awkward intelligent touching ways)... looking at these photos, i can see that my hair's the same still, but my face sure is different now!; james, on the other hand, tho his hairline be now receded in a very striking & manly manner, still has that same face!
the other day we were talking about photos. only one or two remain of me from ages 11-12 to 16-17 or so. i just hated the way i looked in those blooming years of body dysmorphia, a condition that would stain my life from my teens up to my early 40s!! i'd look in the mirror & get a sinking sense of doom. i wanted to die when i looked in the mirror!! i would run from the camera as well as try to hide my awkward bulk behind anything: a placemat, a wall, another person, a book...
yes, i remember deeply the horror of puberty, realizing i'd never look like my favorite actors did (life would be much easier if i were a boy, i thought for years), that instead i was morphing from a rather athletic kid in 6th grade into a what-i-just-knew-to-be-homely beast, that the way i was changing was some cruel cosmic joke.
in meetings, people say here & there that booze saved their lives for many years. it was thus for me. drinking/etc decreased substantially my self-consciousness & inhibition. i took that drink, &, like a magic elixir, it granted me a sense of ease & comfort for a time, but then the drink took me... anyways... i write about this all the time, & it gets boring, but it was a big deal for me & still is & maybe someone reading this will relate & not waste decades of life in self-hatred due to something as ephemeral as the meatbag called a body. onward,turns out james didn't like his pic taken when he was a teen, either. he even destroyed most all his pictures, like i did! this caused me pause cause james is physically attractive. but he thought he was not. he, too, thought that he looked monstrous. imagine!!
knowing now my handsome husband also thought he was ugly makes me think maybe i was wrong all along. maybe i was just a teenaged girl, even if not a pretty one. i didn't deserve all that self-loathing & would be a fool to indulge any such thinking today.
yes, people go thru this & come out the other side. if you're going through it, drop the rock. you're ok just as you are. you are one human in billions. you've got this one life. get right-sized & carpe diem! and if you can't/won't accept yourself as-is, do something healthy to change your fate. "fall down seven times, stand up eight."
ok, off to organize books now, then hit the highway once again! :D

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

immersed

was messaging on facebook w/a friend who also is my piano mentor, a world-renowned master of boogie-woogie!, then talking w/james as he painted the porch about how immersed this fellow is in piano... what our friend said is true: the more focus one has, the more may be produced, the more may be created, the more one can improve, develop, flourish, blossom. (that excepts those who become SO immersed, nothing can ever be produced due to getting gummed up in detail, like a fly in a web, like happens during those OCD times...)
I LOVE TEACHING ENGLISH TO ADULTS!!! they want to be there, they like to have fun, they open up more & more with each session, we laugh & laugh, they ask more & more questions, they're learning a lot already, my spanish is reawakening, it's so gratifying & fun for me, i love teaching & have missed it so much... today is little angie sister's birthday; she's a teacher, too. my whole family: teachers! james said he'll come into class sometime.. he'd be a natural teacher, i think! all the dorky CLAD/BCLAD stuff i was forced to learn when a public school educator is now coming in handy, as well as stage performing skills... the more animated i am, the more they respond. james will blow their minds!
to empower myself so that i may help empower others: that is the life goal; to seek ever-elusive truth, but to continue seeking!: that is the goal! to ever-keep learning, developing greater patience, wisdom, accurate perspective: that is the goal. as james reminds me constantly, from hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, DON'T PANIC: THAT is the goal...
i love our lives. may you love yours.
(picture to come of me in front of American flag w/beautiful student marisol & her beautiful sister raquel, on vacation from mexico city, whom marisol brought to class because SHE THINKS IT'S SO MUCH FUN!! isn't that awesome?) nunca te rindas... que tenga un buen dia...

Sunday, September 28, 2014

bwhahhahahahaha!! yaaaaaay!!! hack sputter cough... s&%t!!

geez, the last 4 nights or so, SOMETHING keeps waking me up in the mid-morn between 3-4:30 -- the wind, the cat, an animal yowling, a loud car -- & then the hacking & retching & coughing & spewing starts... bah! phlegm! (what an accurately crappy yucky onomatopoeic word, huh?!) i think i've used 2 boxes of kleenex since thursday...  wasn't well enough to go with james this weekend, but got to help mom & dad clean their new house & yard today & eat the most delicious food. yesterday i noted that moderate exercise seemed to break up my cold some, so this eve i went for my 1st run in the open spaces around here & it was PERFECT!! the terrain, the hills, the quiet, the breeze, the sky, the colors of the land, the wide, wide sunset... PERFECT!! came back & logged it on u.s. track & field's map it feature, which if you don't know about, is AWESOME. mama called, "why are you being so silly?" and i realized i was singing corny country-western songs way too loud & laughing to myself like a nut... "endorphins!" i called back... hubby's on his way back from music festival & we are going to do MAJOR grocery shopping, i guess tomorrow... hope to get to the kern county fair before it closes -- tonight, friend tammy l was celebrating her "27th" birthday at the fair, at the joan jett concert -- happy birthday!; bummed the LA fair closes tonight & i didn't get to go this year... county fairs are the best!
yes, all is well -- if you don't think so, go out for a little jog, run, or stroll! :D :D :D :D

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Friday, September 26, 2014

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

jenny page reading doctorow
james page being awesome
 don't mean to make anyone vomit, but last weekend he took this pic of me & then i took the one of him & i want to post them.  then i was on his computer mixing music & making videos & found pix of a fun trip we took to burbank many months back, so i'm gonna post those below, too cause heck, i wanna remember this stuff. we like places like burbank w/all its junk & antique stores, places to eat, streets to walk, plus "industry" stores...
yeppers, the best days are now, & lie ahead...

(ok, what else can i do to stall so i don't have to get dressed & go to town?)

point of no return, jenny & the phantoms

the vagabond kitty just woke me up... crash!! but did she catch a mouse? oh, noooo! anyways, so here are 5 songs to listen to, recorded aug 15, the best i do on my own w/no patience, no guitarist, & no professional playing/production. great pumpkin bless online video converter programs for enabling me to compress & upload this mac-created beast, which in original form was an enormous file! (btw, james wrote one verse of "21 days"!)
video
earlier i got my behind up from the sick bed to go to the post office, where saw my 1st jerusalem beetle -- a fat shiny shelled monster! -- parked hissingly (tho they really don't hiss) right by our box! their name also is "nino de la tierra" or child of the earth insect... weird! creepy! my sister gulped in text, sent a pic, "what is THAT?!?"... james & friends from socal readily identified it -- guess they're common there, tho i don't think in the central valley... yech... glad i didn't step on it. not only wouldn't i have, just cause it was such an unusual sight for me, but bc it would've made an enormous squish, plus i read they emit a smell like a diaper, PLUS james said they deliver a nasty bite!
well, that's the huge excitement of today (yesterday); hoping tomorrow (today) to feel weller [sic]...

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Thursday, September 25, 2014

the truth!!

video
- the video from yesterday got lopped off so all that's left is the part i was supposed to do, anyways! hahaa! thank you, universe! :D my recounting of phil alvin's magnificent, moving singing at the music goes bang! festival, which inspired us near-to tears, as well as hype for this weekend's rockin' blues fest in kernville, will just have to go unseen cause ah! i got sick! not well enough to do much big talking, not to mention cannot! rats! stupid wind! stupid cold, painful earache, runny chafed nose, scratchy throat!
- had a bunch of good fun dreams in the new ultra-comfy football-field sized bed, on the up side... and don't have to punch a clock so have time to get better. yay! early retirement is boring at times, but then at times is jess right.
- talked w/hubby; all went well at his last-night gig. was so pleased to read line nine blues review's promo for that show, calling james "...the best blues entertainer in the world!... We all know it! It's just a fact!" as well as to see their silhouette poster of james's iconic physical figure... seriously, how many other entertainers of any renown/fame of any era/genre of whom you know can be identified so readily by mere silhouette? (mama noted bob hope; pretty darned good company, tho, phil alvin, james does NOT look like bob hope!!!). here's the poster so you can see it for yourself.... ok, gonna mix some music/songs i wrote/recorded & hope that the laundry somehow will disappear & the winds die down! merci beaucoux a vous! *coughcoughcough*

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

do not ignore the hand... the hand of fate... mwahahahahaha!!!

(the video i mention below was too long & i fear pretty boring, so i deleted it to redo later... in the vid, i talked about fun things we've done lately, being blown away by phil alvin's voice at the music goes bang! festival, seeing dear donna, then meeting james's eccentric & fascinating friend stanley... also mentioned the upcoming rockin blues festival in kernville, ca & showed a bunch of books as well as paper mache skull head, metal pugilist toy, james's black clay hand sculpture,  casper the friendly ghost lamp he got me, & played song of mine i wrote in '12 based on something really cool he told me at that time... well, now no need to redo video! :D )
typing this on james's computer as a video uploads... james's computer is so much nicer than mine, which is a real viejo! really should get another, but change, tho the only constant, is such a mudda, not to mention i'm a luddite as well as my dad's daughter: a tightwad!...
what's up? all here is well, swell, copacetic, peachy, sometimes crappy, mostly happy, yes, geez, life is nice! (now picturing kermit thee frog).. i've been getting to teach english at the local library! i love love love it! i love the people who show up to learn english! i'm getting to know the other teacher, & we've got the same positive philosophy about doing this! my spanish is about as good as the students' english, so that makes it doubly fun! it's free, so if you know any adult who wants to learn english, contact the library! next i'm trying to get some actual-dinero work w/the library, practicing my dewey, hoping for a place to show up regularly so i can use my brain more as well as get some dough here & there... been trying to cook some, be more domestic: yes, we're having some success in the happy home department, i think, me & him! mom & dad visited today: nice meal, smiley visit; they oohed over how much work we've done in the yard; james beamed proudly & gigged mama hilariously (she loved it)... we've been vegging out a lot w/the roku: little rascals, andy griffith, old movies... the other night we watched sling blade... why didn't bbt ever make anything else of worth???... reminded me how likeable john ritter was... james, of course, came away from the viewing w/a killer impression of carl (bbt's character)... we also've been getting a kick outta watching the office, which james's never seen... and that reminds me of two great movies we saw about voice acting, which we both still hold hopes of pursuing: in a world (comedy, available on redbox) & i know that voice (documentary, available on netflix)... blablablablablablablablablablabla
wish this thing would upload.
and now, a little song (you'll have to imagine the melody):
chingachinga, chingachinga, chingachingachingachingachingachinga
(no, not the mexican nasty chinga, but imagine a little streetcar or a small hammer hitting a tiny bell before a liliputian fight)


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