DUSK DEVILS' Upcoming shows listed at www.myspace.com/theduskdevils (not!)... CONTACT: rule 62 jen at yahoo dot com or the dusk devils at yahoo dot com; www.myspace.com/THEduskdevils (music); www.youtube.com (search "Dusk Devils"); a page exists on facebook, as well...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

el viento encantado y blablablablabla

- the most enchanted breeze is emanating through the window, too magical even to be well-described! few things to me are as transcending as a clean cool current of air...
- it's a lazy, calm day up here, as are many up here. such a nice contrast to the busy, beautiful, invigorating, maddening city!
- last night i became bothered & preoccupied remembering a linguistics class i took many lifetimes ago, taught by an african woman i remember as having cast many a stern glance my way (probably cause i rarely went to class & when did, was always loaded)... i can recall through the fog of time & the fog i then lived in that the class was interesting. dammit! why did i have to be intoxicated all the time back then so that i didn't actually learn more??? after a lot of poking around online, i found this rather neat overview: articulatory phonetics ... i love how the physical mechanisms of speech are described in terms that actually seem to equate my human utterances w/the works of an engine. makes me feel kinda like the terminator -- all of us hairless apes who speak, for that matter. then i think of the cgi-heavy latest planet of the apes movie, so expensive, like so many bloated hollywood films, that entire countries could be fed & rescued w/commensurate budget. huge fans of the heston originals, we were coolest by the latest one & me, bothered, thinking how youngsters now are seemingly being indoctrinated into identifying w/avatars, w/commercial objects/products...  it's an old madison avenue strategy, sure, but the increasing phenomenon morphing the human self/gaze & inhuman phantasm, commodity: what kind of humans ultimately will be produced by this?
- then i think of... well, you know how the magical magnifying mind can weave & meander, so i'll stop right there.
- yesterday two very nice buddhist ladies drove all the way up here from smoggyland for a chant & a visit & our medical cards arrived in the mail & i went to a good meeting w/kind, earnest ppl & overall, my still-wont is to complain, but do i want to be right or happy? this morn we started reading a book together that used a lot of psychological terms & it just reminded me that if i want to see my life's problems, all i need to do is look in a mirror. same with the solutions. argh!
- i took this pic in the city the other afternoon & it came out artsy-nice, so here i post it. i've never seen anyone who sleeps so handsomely, as anyone who's seen him sleep likely will corroborate... next, a little piano, check my online sales, exercise, read some more, keep doing what i must to keep the infernal coconut from cracking til some magical next career pops up. I AM DONE BEING RETIRED!! I MISS MEANINGFUL WORK!!
- ok, that's all for now, unless you want a nutty but very nice person (me) to come work with you in the areas of music, art, writing, physical/emotional/spiritual work out, or teaching... when i am productively busy, i can almost move mountains! :D

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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

don't go, jenny & the phantoms

whoo hoo! i finally found an online video converter could use to upload public domain video footage into windows movie maker! my computer is ancient, so it's taken some doing... so happy! now i can make crude actual videos, instead of the mere "slide shows" (said madeline) i used to be stuck with making due to lack of video footage... i wrote this song about a year ago, if i remember, then recorded it when we lived in southern cal, using sticks & tambourine, book & hand palm for drums. the rhythm's rickety here & there, but this is one of james's favorite songs i've written & it does have a certain visceral oomph, so here it is & hope you enjoy.
here's the video program i found -- it has some creepy pop-ups, but just close them & it won't mess up your computer (least it hasn't this dinosaur -- keeping fingers crossed!) may you have fun w/it, as i just did for the past few hrs! online video converter

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what a sad & scary day

- prayers to loved ones of robin williams, as well as us millions, delighted, astounded, moved by his shocking, lightning talent & long-time courage in the face of depression, madness, addictions... he made statements about how much he loved his family, & i relate to love of family keeping one alive. how much pain must he've been in to yet end it all?
- many brilliants live with the comorbid cousins mental illness & addiction, yet live long, full lives. some learn to transmute trauma, sadness, madness into creative passion; positive, productive lust for life; a mission to help others who struggle! if you are brilliantly creative (or, like me, merely average) & also nuts &/or down-down-down, you can make it to the end of this life in one piece... moreover, you can survive & even thrive, showing those who also suffer how to want to go on living. you have a purpose, even when life hurts... maybe especially when it does!! you can be uniquely helpful to people who get the blues, whose brains are on fire, who don't fit in.
- we must never, never, never give up, even when role models like williams might seem to have!!!!
- requiescat en pace, bright flame.

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Monday, August 11, 2014

jennycast two

am filming these w/ancient equipment in a language style opposite of how i write this blog. i edit & revise the blog obsessively quite often, trying to mow it down to EXACTLY what i mean, a lot of times trying to figure out what the crap i DO mean -- for the vodcasts, i'm just practicing talking off the cuff. between now & the next one, i must look up synonyms for "intriguing," i think!... anyways, hope you glean some reading or other good ideas from this.

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Friday, August 08, 2014


in the pixar animation classic UP, is dug the greatest screen depiction ever of a dog? i think so... helping sister clean her office the other day, i stumbled on a photo of one of my former dog-children as an innocently adorable sleeping pup & a sob caught in my throat... at a meeting, a young man last night shared how he knows he must stay sober cause of his little son, how he can't go more than a few days w/o him or he just misses him too much & he knows he needs to be a good dad for the boy & our friend brahma wagged, "yeah, i feel that way about lakshmi [his dog]" to which the young man replied, "f**k you, brahma!" & all laughed... what i'm getting at is, yes, i miss my dogs very much, but they are DOGS, & if i turn my eyes away from this screen for only a moment, i can watch a dumb little squirrel booking it up the mountainside, fat tail spinning, & basically remember that fundamentally i have nothing to complain about or feel sorry for myself about... just went thru the grueling process of updating my resume, which always makes me feel both frustrated & proud. externally, i've accomplished a lot of good & solid work in This World, & i hope to accomplish more... while in google drive adding a backup copy, i found a recording i'd made of meade lux lewis's "honky-tonk train." it was my phone message for a blink until i heard it was blasting out people's ears & took it off. hearing it made me think how i'll get chagrined by my (to me)  plodding, all-thumbs playing (james says i'm cursed to know some of the world's greatest boogie-woogie pianists, then unrealistic cause i compare myself to them!)... but then sometimes i love being a sort-of pedestrian left-handed barrelhouse pianist, for tho i lack the finesse & licks of many a righty, i can steamroll the rhythm-boogie hand, which feels great, like a beautiful grueling endurance sport -- like a very fast & elegant runner versus a steadily-chugging long-distance jogger. yes, my playing's not fancy, but i can rock that 12 bar honky-tonk rockabilly-boogie thing for quite a long while before i'm worn out! and again, it feels swell... know what i mean, jellybean?: riding yourself to the edge, then driving further, onward, upward, no stopping, til the end & past... i'm sure james'd have a succinctly colorful & obscene way of putting it, but he's napping, so that's what i got for now... when you think you're done, maybe there's more: keep on pushing!
- well, that's more than enough... gotta finish reading those books so can make another blablapodcast... HAPPY FRIDAY!

Thursday, August 07, 2014

"it was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

(bet this is a repost... but i like this pic of us reading together)
pains me to say i know nothing more from the above classic, tho dickens' christmas carol is one of my top 10 most favorite novels ever (well, actually it's a novella). tale of two cities is not among them, but i do have a pile of no less than 30 books am reading/should read; will report next on this blog w/an updated jennycast once have gotten thru the two am working on currently.
was gonna write about the sheers, cliffs, plateaus, ascents, soars, swoops, plunges, & sweeping joys of this past week but am too tired, so blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla blablalablablablablabla
that just will have to suffice for now.
may you all who be reading be well.
anyone reading anything, for that matter: readers, be well.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

"therrrrr goanna put me in the movies..."

no, not me, but someone the other night told james, "you could be a movie character!" he had just met karling's beau johnny tong & they were scrapping & circling around the parking lot like jets & sharks, if jets & sharks were fun-loving maniacs who talked trash & rumbled to entertain themselves & everyone around... james, johnny & karling ALL could be movie characters, i think. johnny is an unusual person for us to get to meet: an accomplished performer (magician in the sideshow tradition, featured on ripley's, for instance, sticking a snake up his nose), wingnut (firing up his eyes & laughing wildly to match james), & productive member of society somehow (he & karling do magic shows for children every morning!). "johnny is just so crazy & wild," she said, "people either get him or they don't -- they either love him or hate him!" i smiled; i do know this one. :)  her johnny, of whom we used to perform a song i didn't know was about HIM, is about our age but looks much younger -- he's chimpanzee strong & lean, & karling's lovelier than ever, i thought, seeming much happier. yes, they were so nice & fun to hang out with, a strikingly attractive match as i write reminding me of one time when art fein described seeing lux & ivy walking out of the movies in so-cal: "they cut quite a figure."
 i quit karling's band back in '12, when james's & my romance was in its initial roaring bonfire (now a steady, hearty hearth, thank you, good universe), but i've missed her & regretted having had to quit, hoping all along her new love & life were a comforting fit for her. there were parallels, i thought, between what happened romantically in her life & mine, so i'm very happy for her, & for me & james, too! :D
omnia vincit amor! ... et amor gignit amorem!
here are some pictures of my british friend & me as well as my handsome husband & his "new brother," who apparently is in the giant head club with james & me. (mom & dad always consoled me this way: "big head, big brain." since angie & karling have normal-sized heads but are both very intelligent, i don't know if i buy this, tho i appreciate the love behind the sentiment.) one thing i know: a big head, better seen from the back row, is the head of a performer, so i'm glad we have them! :D well, i'm nearly 47 years old today... good gravy! time to go get ready for visiting family.

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Saturday, July 26, 2014

superior, inferior: there's plenty in between, wouldn't you know...

... have been doing a lot of step work writing this a.m. on how superiority & perfectionism are basically just the addict mind's way of seeking immediate gratification (actually, the thought came from a hazelden title, the presence at the center)... such determinations are easy to make, where products are concerned, & james's computer definitely is superior to mine! i use it now as he's in his last moments of slumber to quickly update this blablablog. soon it'll be time to get up & hit the road!
mama had the perfect 70th birthday party. i could just tell, as it transpired, from her smiling face as well as the ease & happiness of events, it was exactly what she wished for! (-- tho 20 degrees cooler would've been nice for all...) yesterday eve, we had such a fun trip home, meandering & exploring, like i used to when i first moved to the mountain. so much to see in the smoggy south valley!, if at the least the expansive order of lovely agricultural fields: the beautiful darkly dancing grapevines, stalwart armies of corn, burstingly, cheerfully green alfalfa, mysterious soft fields of flowers resembling roses, except stinky (james hopped out on a lonely road to pluck one for our investigation; mom & dad soon will tell us what is the variety; we figure they're planting them in abundance lately bc they must drink little water... we in california are in severe drought, you know!) add to all this a grocery emporium entertaining as an amusement park (really!), an ice cream cone, a truck stop spilling w/american roadside culture, ranch homes & farm homes & barns, silos, dairy cows, cactus & palm fields, melancholy old trees, grand golden mountains, well, there was so much to experience & enjoy on that trip home, & don't you find yourself so often happily surprised by the small beauties this life has to offer?
- some pix: two joyous veterans (oh, how would it be to be 89 years old if one could be as mentally agile & well-preserved as family friend don?); mama, lovely on her special birthday, surrounded by loved ones galore; james sampling tortillas heck a mano; & how i wish i'd bought myself one of these aprons when we took a family trip to paris many years back... angie said i got one for her & mama at that time, but i don't remember a thing, typically, except know now i sure like the apron: it made me feel like i belonged & not think as much about the piano, how i wasn't sitting at it playing, as we spent all a.m. in the kitchen in tortilla & enchilada assembly lines...
who'd think that cooking could be fun?? life: a continuing journey of revelation, i tell ya...
well, there's plenty more to blab about, but i'm just hoping i'll be able to stick to the personal plan i just wore out my hand writing about: compassionate detachment, remembering we all are boddhisattvas of the earth, that i control this world no more than a flea on a log captains the log along a river; to be aware, accepting, take contrary action, blablablablabla, etc etc etc (ps - tonight, sat. july 26, is benefit for candye kane at don the beachcomber on pch in sunset/huntington beach, ca, 7:30-11:30 pm, hosted by whiteboy james & barry g... come on out, if you'll be in the neighborhood! my old bandleader karling will be there, & i look forward to saying hello to her as well as to laura chavez, guitar wunderkind, & my old friend candye, the most dedicated stone-cold womb-to-tomb woman purveyor of song that i ever have had the pleasure of knowing!)