"rock 'em and make 'em love you." -big manny

here is the newest poster for the event. yesterday afternoon on facebook i checked & it said 520 people were going. soon after, i got a fever, but i don't know if the two occurrences are related. my temp runs low bc of thyroid condition, in the 97s, but it was 103.8, so then of course i thought i was dying. i took ibuprofen & went to bed and an hour later it was 99.9, then 99.7... however with temperature a teacher cannot go to school bc of covid concerns, so now i can't go back until wednesday. i think that is good bc my ears and head are pressing & throbbing in a sickening kind of way & i'm more tired than usual. the temp is back to my normal, 97.4... still, my mitochondria are NOT doing their job. i hope you will come to this wonderful event in memory of dear manuel robert gonzales, known in the past 20 years of his life as big manny. manny the rockin' gentle giant, who sang like a thousand bad-ass birds & played his guitar just like a ringing a bell. "it's important that the show have manny's loving spirit and soul," tony said, & he hit it on the beezer. it's going to be fun, said jaime of bordertown. it's going to be rockin'. it will be all about love & fun & the spirit of rockin good american music (and some mexican). i hope everyone there will love it. and i hope there are no more flyer changes bc i am working from screenshots & soon it will look like a polaroid taken of a BETA tape.

clean & sober til my dying day & blablabla

realized last week that everything will pass, everyone will pass, but my sobriety will ever-last as long as i have this life. what a comfort! no one can take it from me. my sobriety abides as long as i make a decision each day to value it, cherish it, protect it. my life depends on it, so i think i should... lately has been weird & sad & then good & even sometimes great. started exercising again, every single damn day, to get stronger & make the infernal coconut cooperate & maybe help my owthritis... & playing the piano, & trying to be sociable (tho the inner gnome wants to just be quiet & alone). made some mistakes, & they kick my butt only because i think somehow i'm supposed to be infallible, but then i talk about it with friends, with sponsor, with james & after that have a chance to get right-sized again. the only reason erring makes me so depressed is i think i'm more important than i am. dang subjective consciousness: it gives a person the idea that he or she or it is bigger than the Truth... today i made myself a little crazy working on a shed project, then found out ruby car's alternator needs replacing, then tried to take care of old woman medical stuff online, then we went to the big city of bakersfield to eat some food in a real restaurant, then we did some shopping... it was a nice enough time once we got out on the road to see stuff. james got some strings so we can practice this week, then we decided we'd go on a little trip in the next few days, so we're gonna do that. our destination will be the glen tavern inn, & i've been wanting to stay there for at least 10 yrs, so i'm happy. it's kind of a destination hotel, like the el cortez in vegas or the mission inn riverside or el rancho gallup or a thousand other places, so we will slumber in a pretty space with our dog girl... then next week will bring a gig, then a stay with tony lopez, then a practice with good folks, playing rockin christmas songs, so can't get much better than that for me. the biggest thing today, tho, was as i was dealing w medical stuff online, somehow an email from 2017 popped up... which was a forward of gene taylor's joe dean stories from 2007. gene was writing a book, & i was his editor. i thought all of that was long gone. it was a huge wow! i forwarded them to james, who knew gene way better than i did... still i feel so fortunate & humbled that his stories, at least the parts he shared with me, are still in my possession. well, dinner's still a big lump in my gut, so think i'll go rest a while before it's time to get up & go to work. be good, stay sick turn blue, long live rocknroll.

as long as changos play musica...

we will have this show. "rock em and make em love you." - big manny