Monday, August 29, 2011

"two pees [sic] in a pod," wrote my cousin... & "unto such a torment the... malefactors were condemned, who reason subjugate to appetite."

what a nice tx trip i had, w/its sultry heat, fecund country roads, flat flat land, fried feasts, scrapping & funny & kind & ribald family interactions, endless air-conditioned drives, & farmland filled w/animals, most lovely for me the jerusalem donkeys jazzy & rosie & the old dog max. yes, we've so much family love out there in tx. i left for the kids a pair of my platform shoes so they can play runway model. in this pic, thomas had given me a tattoo. after that, he, bebe  & i had a wii dance contest (i lost). then my friend, the amazing fireball whiteboy james, invited us to open for his band this wkend. but bass player scotty says he'll be out out of town. then "love" again was agony, agony, agony. the rollercoaster soars, then plunges plunges plunges. i've gone as low as the 5th circle but usually when in h*ll am stuck in the 2nd, blowing around in its violent storm w/no hope of rest or ballast & no virgil to lead the way out... am so grateful to have my folks, for w/o them, i'd never remember the love, the wonderful moments, this precious, fleeting life... all bets would be off.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

my heartaches and troubles are just up and gone, the moment you come into view, with your hand in mine, dear, i could dance on & on

and waltz across texas with you... bye, all yall...
Be crumbled.
So wild flowers will come up
Where you are.
You have been stony for too many years.
Try something different. Surrender.
Rumi ♥

Sunday, August 21, 2011

i'm a triflin woman, i trifle all the time...

that's how becky adapted the lyrics to an old hillbilly song... always thought she was singing "traveling woman," so'd sing along like that, off mike... to be a trifling woman, not caring, what freedom, maybe!- tho realistically, to be a traveling woman would be the better, soul-wise... i like playing that song best in her band, along w/"knock knock rattle" & a few more. on some songs, i'm just not sure what kind of parts to play (she already has 3 guitars in the line-up!), so i hope to figure out more interesting fills & leads as i go... it's easy enough to hack along w/the music; to add TO it, tho, is the real magic!
so here is a link to a little tv show cattie ness & the revenge did a few wks ago in LA. the experience that day was a real music-rescue for me... music can overcome any sadness, again; life w/o music would be no life, to paraphrase vonnegut... can't help commenting on the film's low lighting, which brings out everyone's ancestors, like adam's romanesque-arabic face, fabi's aztec queenage, my craggy mayan profile (not attractive, i don't think, but interesting, like one time a guy told me i had "something ancient going on" in my face...) it's a nice bunch of friends i get to play w/these days, between dusk devils & cattie ness; i certainly feel grateful for all! cattie ness & the revenge on flashrock tv
- yesterday was eddie's alano club benefit, sparsely but generously attended -- that is, few folks, but the ones there donated lots of dough! brian p & rick were both sick but managed to hold up, scotty was spiffied up &, back to long-distance running, bouncing on the balls of his feet in high health, & i was down, down, down cause of kitty's death... but the kind & appreciative audience brightened everyone up & we had a fun little set! i've never seen brian p smile so much, for instance... it sure felt nice to look over & there was bsp, grinning sort of gently. (maybe he had a fever, come to think of it!) but no, the warm-heartedness of the drunk club's members, i think, is just contagious that way. :)
- then a woman named deedrus [sp] got up on the little stage & absolutely blew the roof off singing koko taylor's "ernestine" -- good heavens, she rocked the joint! it was huge fun trying out some memphis slim-manquee right hand noodlings on that one. i never play 12 bar blues like that, so what fun!!
- sturdy dan, my dear friend, walked in & it brightened me up, just seeing him; sister angie was there, too, w/her earnest & kindly (boy?)friend doug, & to see her smiling & laughing & so filled w/life also helped add to the memory... back at mom's & dad's (they just returned from santa fe), we visited & cried & told stories, then fell into hard sleep. when i woke this morning, sister had gone to church, mama was cooking bacon & tortillas, & i've stalled long enough -- time to see about getting my truck running, which our dependable dad should be able to make happen.
- kind wishes to all who read for a restful & blessed, or wild & happy, or somewhere in-between kind of sunday...

Saturday, August 20, 2011


my beautiful little kitty... at 4am, i woke to the sounds of her being killed by a coyote & ran outside just in time to see the whole thing. she was fighting hard, but the coyote, of course, had her overpowered... i hope she didn't suffer long, tho i know & saw that she did. poor little creature. i can't wait til i stop blaming myself & seeing the whole thing over & over in my mind. there are such far worse tragedies in this world routinely, & i knew the risk of having her up here, but still this is a sad occasion, to lose a pet so violently. bless my sister angie for being there to help me when i called her, distraught. :(

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"you shoulda got a winnebago instead of a house!"

...sed memphis mike... heck, might be true! anyways, my truck broke down in bakersfield & so i hitched a ride home after the benefit at trout's & hope to hitch a ride back w/sis today or tomorrow (& see her new tattoo, which covers her back, yakuza-style, & she got to celebrate her black belt!) & get the truck back up & running...
- what have you learned today? i learned i don't have to say everything that comes in my head; of some new (to me) music on pandora (new orleans nightcrawlers, woggles, hasil adkins' "the hunch"); that people hiking up or down the hill right opposite me, we all in plain sight of one another, somehow can't see me tho i see them & therefore feel a little indecent, like a voyeur, tho i don't really want them looking in my house @ me, sitting here like a lump; that hummingbirds love this picture window lately & so will fly right up to it, in my face, seemingly, as i type; & that when working on the house, i should never stop for more than 10 mins or rigor mortis sets in & that's all she wrote... oh well. guess the house is clean enough at this pt, so will settle down w/PB&J sandwich to go watch the lovely outdoors for a bit. :)
- penultimately, dusk devils will play around 5-530 at alano club sat (2nd benefit for eddie's eye surgery), open to public, $10 donation, 34th st in bksfld. finally, saw this pic from bsp's friend sharron h from sunday's benefit -- i liked it, so post it here & thank sharron for it. :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

"where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure." (rumi)

ok, the last post was kinda depressing, so above's a nice quote to make chicken out of chickensh*t, which aunt rita says is impossible, but i think she mean's a loser's always gonna be a loser, while the above suggests there's always hope. another great cheerer-upper was a comment from a gal on the dusk devils' facebook pg: "i love this band! they're like the collins kids if they were allowed to stay out all night!" for pete's sake, how wonderful it was to read THAT! :)
today was mostly fun, but what a long, long, long deal... i was a doofus to start it w/a scamper up to the water tower near my home (to get a little exercise); that is one steep, steep climb, & to try to jog it? exhilarating, exhausting, but pure dumbness... then the truck battery was dead... got it jumped by lifesaver neighbor... then it was dead again... jumped again by nice old man in bksfld... quick run-thru at bsp's, couldn't find raffle tickets, found out when arrived at trout's i was the show m.c. (thank goodness brian p had influenced me to dress up a little!), tried to sell raffle tickets & mc & keep head on straight in midst of personal strife (curse at&t cell phones!! curse them!!!) & interacting w/friends ( julie & sarah, all kinds of friendly local musicians who played nimbly & chatted & laughed easily), got thru our set in what felt to me like workman-like fashion, few surprises except when eddie came up & laid in a genre-perfect improv instru on one bad stud... everyone there for eddie... everyone happy for eddie... everyone hopeful for eddie... next benefit will be sat, 3-7 pm at the alano club, donation $10 -- no drinking, just music & fellowship to help eddie get more eye surgery. thanks to all who were there tonight. when in a bag of sh*t, remember - the zipper's on the inside, as stacy used to say. and remember -- rumi.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

"corruptio optimi est pessima" & cry, cry, cry

the quote refers to the fall of lucifer, who, you might know, was the most beloved angel. warned 2 yrs ago by the above message given to me in an art-egg by a bright but emotionally damaged person to whom i was drawn, gypsy-moth-like, i ignored wise mind & plowed ahead selfishly. after my disrespectful visit before marie laveau's shrine in NOLA, the curse was on... yes, it sounds melodramatic, superstitious, etc, but must resort to magic, drama, fantasy to make it thru this latest blackness.
this, too, shall pass.
below is the way i almost always am when not wrapped up with "love": happy, joyful, connected, creative, grateful. wish i could erase my memory & stand here, free & new & clean... again, as it did when i went thru the hell of divorce from my kind ex, the poem looms: "the unknown god... is breaking me down to his own oblivion to send me forth on a new morning, a new [wo]man." (d.h. lawrence) ironic - the brilliant person mentioned above gave me the quote, to reassure me.

thank the good, good universe for the love & gift of music, which has the charms to soothe the "bestiam feram," the beast within that wants a soul dead. now i'm thinking of that throw rag song "the beast in me"... may you avoid the beast today & all days & be wiser than am i in matters of le cœur... theme for tonight: the stooges' "your pretty face is going to h*ll"...

Monday, August 08, 2011

bah! bloop! whee! click! aah. dig? dig. &dig. &dig. :)

(lazy writing alert:) it's warm & beautiful & breezy outside & wish for you a happy, healthy day... am taking a break from working on my shrine outside (removing weeds, laying down mesh, then rock garden) cause like i said, it's warm! sure is good to be outside & get some vitamin d w/the birds & the bees & the flowers & the trees... the above event's coming up sun as well as another for same purpose the following sat, aug 20, at the alano club on 34th st (start time i think will be around noon), open to public, jam session for musicians & those who don't drink or, like bsp, won't mind taking a break for the afternoon out of respect for the venue... suggested donation for the alano club also will be $10 so that eddie can get his peepers fixed once & for all.
earlier in the wk was the barndance, a memorable night @ which i got to play w/cattie ness & the revenge, meet amazing pianists jason eoff & dona oxford (skip edwards was there, too!), play a slam-bang mini-set, dance the night away, & see all kinds of people from the smell(swell)ay roots scene like russell scott, james intveldt, etc & best of all art fein, whom i haven't seen in a chimp's age, cracking art up w/my phil alvin impersonation (i didn't know i had one til art -- a seeming cynic who has genuine generosity of spirit when he finds something appealing -- started laughing out loud, which got me going good). then my friend walter brought me a bd cake (i'd already had a spectacular bd w/my dear family) & handed it to ronnie mack himself, who held it while the whole joint sang me happy bd!! my goodness... what a life i got, for which i am so, so grateful.
then got to record a little net tv show last night w/cattie ness & revenge. night before was dusk devils show at packed-out mr t's bowl, a cool venue & yes, old bowling alley, @ which brian p debuted the biggest pomp you'd ever seen & we didn't go on til 1am & devil doll (to me) inexplicably sang pat benatar & the animals (the latter i thought even a bit blasphemous, but what the crap do i know...), but people stayed for us, too, & everyone got to dance w/walter, who generously gave me an angel necklace & then rooted & rutted his face into our pretty cousin's ample bosom as both cackled drunkenly, fun-loving heathens that they were that nite. :) in the mid of all this was trip to coast w/dear dad, sis, aunt to visit grandma & said cousin, who celebrated her big 4-0 in raucously guzzling fashion, then suffered mightily, emptying it all out & whimpering (poor baby), "thank you for taking care of me" while i patted & comforted her & sister wiped her mouth, but i've sure been there, so it felt sort of nurturing & correct & like the cycle of life & important bonding. then we attempted to sleep at cousin's/grandma's w/barky-damn-yappy dogs, so on no rest, i had volcanic meltdown next afternoon on drive to smell(swell)ay & sometimes i wish i had no mouth cause then i wouldn't say the things i sometimes do (nor make ugly faces while singing). anger, self-pity, remorse, babbling, driving, crying -- sh*t, i thought i was over it, but nossir, still a fallible, messy humanoid. oh well: a productive very late-nite powwow came of it, so maybe next time i'll be able to pause before exploding like a ranting, wailing demon... met up w/ CN&R pals & becky did quick miracle makeup on my blubbery face so i looked nice & we performed a rockin little tv show & then fabi left the country w/her family (on vacation, not the lam), johnny & goat went to san pedro for shrimp feast & beers, & the rest of us caravaned to lebec for late-nite supper at denny's (mine, 4 bucks, was pretty swell) & becky rode w/me, her steady, friendly, supportive chatting a delight. (like many folks i know, her life would make one fascinating read.) the studio,, had fun acoustics & we were styling, too, cause becky's the boss & tells us what to wear, so i cautiously say it likely not just sounded, but looked good. :) my writing here's lazy, but the few marbles i got today in my bag upstairs are rolling slowly, so this'll have to do for now. :)

Friday, August 05, 2011

duskdevils, karling, devildoll, lacholita sat @ mr t's

see flyer below.. meanwhile, here's some more pix of the barndance from paul oeser III... thanks, paul! :)

Wednesday, August 03, 2011