"i need a man, i need a man, i need a man to love..."

both bands i play with tomorrow night @ narducci's in bakersfield feature in their sets the above barbara pittman rockabilly tune (actually called simply "i need a man," always evoking cracks from male band members when announced)... i hear this show, affiliated w/the big hot rod deal called the march meets, is going to be packed to the walls; i hope for a music-heavy eve & that my wardrobe change between bands (from punk-monsterbilly to my attempt at elegant) will be swift & successful.
- what fun it is to back karling & becky in their bands, karling & the atomics & cattie ness & the revenge, respectively... this wkend, too, will be dusk devils practice w/low-key but high-energy bassist & drummer who are locked in tight; the other night at practice when john leaned over & cued stevo, i about fell over cause i know that's what bassists & drummers are supposed to do (they are, as carl leyland reminded me, the rhythm SECTION), but i've never actually seen any bass-drum players in DDs work together like that... after the march 17 DD show, we'll practice w/another bassist, a rockabilly kinda cat w/great chops, w/hopes of always having a line-up ready to go, whatever show comes up... ok, that's all for now.

congratulations to angie & doug!!!!; music; my ex, my friend; blabbity blabbity blab blab

- art fein posted the pic (below on this blog) of ruby friedman & i on his site, calling us "femmes flagrant," which i only can translate as "obviously females." i take this as compliment (ruby is ultra-glamorous &, like i do, favors short dresses/long hair/platforms/makeup); thanks, @!... that led me to poke around art's site & find again this pic, which i love & repost here not just cause it's funny & shows two eccentric, ultra-talented cuties, but because of what i think to be a strange phenomena: their physical resemblance extends also somehow to their musical interests, lifestyle habits, & vocal chords (structural similarity = similar physiognomy? do women whom i resemble lean toward thyroid & mood imbalance, addictions, athletic & musical tendencies, mad magazines & monsters?)... it makes sense two throats similar in shape & size possibly also could emit similar singing voices, tho in phil's & james's cases, that voice is so unusual! the similarity just interests me, as if this truly were a case of "brothers from another mother," tho phil's old enough to be james's uncle...
- it has snowed & stuck here today, the hillside outside still gleaming faintly in the dark, & earlier flakes flitted & danced & swirled while the dogs played outside, their thick dark coats sugared icy white (brian brought them up; we had a nice lunch & he told me about the "old man motorcycle" he's built as well as that his former job wants him back, which doesn't surprise me bc brian is a well-liked genius). too bad it didn't snow yesterday when cattie ness & the revenge were here! they stayed for the weekend, another "band sleepover," as becky calls them; she outlined for fabi & i our upcoming trip to france in spring (to be tourists & to play @ the blue monday rockabilly festival in lyon). we played a lot of music, recorded by friendly drummer johnny. in a stupor of food & 2nd-hand band smoke, i sat rather than stood as we played & played & played, barely able to keep my eyes open most of the weekend!... this wkend we'll be pt of a rockabilly show at anaheim's doll hut (contact me, if interested), & friday i hope to see petunia & the vipers, the canadian band of whom fabi & james've spoken highly, along w/phil alvin & exene cervenka. but we'll see.
- today i'm thankful that friends having major life events are making good progress, it sounds like, but best news of all is that my sister was proposed to today by her preacher boyfriend, a rough-hewn, friendly bear of a man who works hard to help others & has never tried to proselytize my family, which i very much appreciate. anyone w/sense, which he has, would look @ my family & see, tho they are not specifically religious, they are moral, upstanding people of generous spirit, not in need of "saving." "i guess i have to be good now," mama said on the phone, but the joke is, she already is. personally, i know i could afford to gossip & swear less, to live more the way that my conscience knows that i should (to quote one of my favorite books, marcus aurelius' meditations, "if it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it"), so i'm happy for the potentially positive influence of this "christian man" in our family. plus, i just like the guy!
- my sister has been so much happier since meeting this man, which makes me so happy for her. little angie is kind, smart, talented, loyal, hard-working, & so many other things positive; she deserves a good fellow! i hope & wish she & her husband-to-be will enjoy the rests of their lives together as a team, through the good & the bad... for there always is bad along w/the good, as any sensible person knows. nunca te rindas!! the trick w/any relationship is to commit to growing together, as brian & i did for many yrs before we grew so much, we got too independent of one another & grew apart!... despite this, i am thankful today to have such warm feelings toward my ex-husband, who is quite a fine man. this might sound weird, but i hope he finds love again w/a woman worthy of him (& that anyone unworthy will be sunk in the kern river). of course, i hope, too, that when i am ready (i'm not) i will find love again w/a dependable someone w/whom i will commit & grow. this liminal life-stage i've been in for these past yrs can't last forever... can it? :)
- still, i gotta be happy w/what i have, which is a life more filled w/love & friendship than i've ever known. tomorrow, for instance, we'll celebrate the women's meeting here @ my home, & i can't wait to get my place all cleaned up & welcome my friends here to share valentines, food, drink, laughter, & hearts w/each other (boy, THAT didn't sound corny!). :)
- "love is an offspring of spiritual affinity," wrote kahlil gibran.
happy valentine's day to anybody who has read this far :) here's some more cool stuff to read, if you're interested: quotes from marcus aurelius love to all. :)

tweedly-deedly-dee, dee-dee-dee-dee...

(rest in peace, don cornelius of soul train. may your suffering have ended w/the pulling of that trigger & may your family have peace sooner than later. depression is a horrid monster. what a way to go.) :(
love the drum part on the song ref'd at top (rockin robin). used to clear out the cal state pub playing that, sea cruise, maybelline. anyone who didn't want to hear those songs should've left, anyhow, & fallen in a deep mudhole... the other day at practice w/karling, cesareo & i switched instrus on a run-thru of jackson; i was terrible, but it was fun. i love the punishing pain of trying to keep the kick drum going, or playing thru as muscles scream at a show; the way we play, esp in dusk devils, is kinda like going for a long jog.
well, the birds have been all over outside today, which is por quoi the original reference. crap - that reminds me i'm sposed to be studying french. going there in april w/becky & fabi to play music & tourist around; amazing! becky even sez i can open the tv show we're gonna do w/fats domino's "blue monday" since she says the studio has that same name...
mind seems to be hopping around a bit. am watching a show on the secrets of the pyramids. reading wonder woman as well as 100 volunteer vacations & 101 foods that will save your life & also rumi & jim thompson. applied to volunteer this summer at the gesundheit institute in WV, that clown hospital run by the great humanitarian doctor who "prostituted" himself to be subject of that maudlin robin wms movie to draw attn to his good cause... wonder if they'll accept me? wonder what tomorrow will bring? wonder wonder wonder wonder won: who wrote the book of love?
had a visitor yesterday & today. we drove in circles & ate at denny's (2-4-6-8 menu is cheaper than cooking, hate to say). i love having visitors. i love being home. i love being gone.
what's up with dusk devils? we've been sick, so will get some percussion personnel soon... gigs are upcoming w/karling & the atomics (KA & her "bakersfield band -- aren't they cute?" she said at last show & inside i winced cause i felt so uncute, but outside i grinned like a chipmunk) & w/becky (cattie ness & revenge) & w/dusk devils, even tho we are flying bassless for the moment... at big's the other night, we opened for big sandy, as i had w/becky the wk before in fresno; the set went well, wild & rowdy, as had the set the wk before w/revenge; KA & atomics practiced beforehand in the dining rm at big's & i almost wiped out the whole table of drinks hitting a volleyball that was for some reason in the rm; then i had a panic attack over my fat arms & karling so kindly cooed, "show me your arm," then, when i'd removed my sweater to show her the ham hock, "why, that's a perfectly nice arm; that's a fine arm," as if she were consoling a child, & in a moment of clarity i realized, stop being so gd self-centered!! this is her show!!! then karling added, "besides, you look like a crazy cat lady, wearing your sweater," but i'd already decided i'd ditch it... during the set, bsp got to sing "jackson" w/karling & i did some don rich on her buck owens songs, in keys so high, i felt i might flip inside out... afterward, cesareo told me about astrology & what'll work or not in my love life (drat!) & bsp & i watched big sandy for a while before hitting the road & then it was 5 am, then 5 pm & i was heading from bako to home in that post-show funk, so took the long way back along southern country roads & came upon a desolate long-abandoned oil company & explored & picked it as the sun set, accidentally disturbing a roosting white-faced owl & roadrunner in two separate bldgs (there were 8 buildings to explore!) & 3 cottontails, too, then i had to bail cause darkness fell, so i walked around the truck stops near the grapevine & by the time i got home, i felt really swell (... long phone call...) well, my friend & i just yakked for a long while, speculating about ancient technology & lamenting the burning of the alexandrian library & he told me about a book he read about joan of arc, sounds interesting, written in 1st person, even, & now i'm out of gas, hoping to catch the bus tomorrow morn cause i'm so sick of driving, so now it's time to watch more roku or read a bit more or hey, here's a novel idea: go to bed. :)
hope you're well, if you've read this far. :) xoxoxoxo

Experiment

blogging from iPod. Slow. Cumbersome. Dificil. But want to write so I may remember some pts of my life plus maybe tell others of fun experiences shared or to try... And am too full & lazy to get off this heater-side rocker & walk over to the computer sitting in the cold dining rm... This wkend at last sec was sposed to be spiritual retreat, but got up too late at hostel, so instead spent day in sta monica. Ate lotsa tasty food: hamburger night at the hostel, norm's, izzy's (matzo ball soup, latkes w sour cream & applesauce, rye bread that went wow in your mouth), rode beach cruisers from sm to marina del rey, plus thru the big crowded colorful mess of Venice beach. Never have ridden a beach cruiser bike: it is effortlessly comfortable, feeling like sailing; smoothly gliding thru cool marine air was lovely & dreamy. Another experience that was amazing was boogie-boarding; I was so pleased to find myself able to plunge right into the cold surf (helped by the cold showers I now take; read about them in bk "secrets of ppl who never get sick") & wade way out, freezing but exhilarated, & feel so strong, happy, clean, free, & like flying, riding the wave... I guess surfers don't think much of boogie-boarders in general, but what do I care? Can't believe how much I love it. I mean, I'm a lion(ess): we like sun and earth; I am normally water-averse. But this sport, if you can call it that, is instantly doable, like running or playing piano or singing: no fancy equipment, no reeds, no rules, no embouchure needed: just find a wave, catch it & sail sail sail... Also this wkend, started watching the tv show treme, set in the Nola neighborhood right after Katrina. It's terrific: John goodman, Melissa leo, a bunch of actor-musicians as well as real musicians like Kermit ruffins and Alan toussaint... It's the only show I've seen where most all of the characters are musicians! That alone is interesting... Only downfall is Steve zant, who plays a very ugly whiny know-it-all of a type I've known & find particularly odious... Today, cattie ness & the revenge showed up here on the mountain & we ate pizza, cookies, salami cheese French bread, drank soda & coffee, & played played played music til the sun went down in prep for show next fri opening for big sandy in Fresno. After they all hit the road, I played piano for quite a while longer, & looks like now it's getting time to wind down on this cold but cozy evening & once again give thanks for a head perhaps in the clouds, but feet on ground, w/the remembrance to not borrow trouble, but instead be grateful for breath, shelter, food, rest, & those other essentials: prayer/meditation, music, love -- personified in earth's humanity as well as its flora & fauna... I'd insert here a quote from Thich nhat hanh, but am still too full to get up & find the poem a friend read to me, so instead will sign off to pick up the roku clicker & watch the munsters, I think... To reference rumi, may we all treat every guest to the house of our soul as welcomed, bringing gifts & lessons, always remembering that each guest is only temporary...

happy holidays, happy holidays, the merry bells are ringing, happy holidays to you!

tho mind's running faster than fingers, will try to write a bit... how are you? how are your holidays? mine have been wunderbar, wunderbar... dad had his 1st book published & it's now listed on amazon; angie's now going steady w/her guy; good news all-around for the family... (ok -- now what?) ummmm... uhhh.... went for a wonderful christmas run yesterday morn up here in NE bako. the winter low-sun was warm on my back & the sky a blue-enough to suffuse the morn w/happy hue. as i jogged along the hilly streets, people came in & out of houses & cars bearing armloads of gifts, & what a nice thing it was to call christmas greetings to strangers & smile & share holiday cheer... then back at our folks' house, we had a feast of enchilada-, corn-, & chile relleno casseroles, rice & beans, tamales & flan... the rest of the day was a blur as i passed out from caloric overload... this morning brings pix from the christmas show the other night w/karling abbeygate. it was the most satisfying musical experience i've EVER had, playing a dusk devils set that went so, so bright & happy-well, then getting back up to do a set w/karling's LA band (& me!). we'd "practiced" a few hrs earlier, karling w/no mike, the bar full of patrons & horrid piped music, trying to hear what we were doing but not too able to do so, but then when we did the actual set, my fingers seemed to know where to go, for the most pt, & it was my 1st time doing a basically unprepared set & having success! karling kept throwing me solos & bob the guitarist would nod w/approval... i felt i belonged! then we took a break & karling's bakersfield band went up -- brian p, cesareo, AJ & i (&, of course, donnie, karling's partner). we SLAMMED that set. we rocked! people cheered & hooted & yelled! karling whooped & laughed & her eyes shone. she liked what i & we did! :) all eve, i got so many compliments on my playing. after i told dad, he commented, "you discovered competence you didn't know you had." i think that was it! grateful, i realized it was a real merry christmas present to me, to be pt of the music thru-out the night, playing well, & discovering i could go beyond what i've done & maybe can be a musician, not just an entertainer. what a happy experience. thank you!
can't wait to play again, next wk w/becky, then again w/karling, & soon after w/dusk devils, now w/super-nice drummer stevo, w/back-ups ready to go... from karling, i realize i don't have to have ONE line-up; from becky, i realized i MUST, however, play w/people who are not just well-adjusted enough to get along w/others, but enjoy the music. i know fabulous musicians who play this stuff w/ardor & gusto; there's no room for those who claim to be bored by it. they must go, & from now on, they will, immediately. now i know there are plenty who will take their places! life's too short to play music w/people who don't get this...
that's enough for now. :) happy holidays to all!

rock-rock, rock-a-billy boogie...

(<- :="" a="" br="" good="" hey="" i="" it="" m="" on="" pic="" putting="" s="" top="">- life is good! how is you? had another fun wkend w/the revenge & cattie, this time in fresno, opening for deke dickerson... his poor bandmate, rockabilly gorilla "cialis" (a killer bassist of inventive, melodious lines & full, fat tone, who shall remain anonymous) got horribly sick during their 1st set & fabi jumped right up onstage @ banged out 2 super-rockin tunes on the doghouse bass w/deke & "sugarballs." back at chez brad, where the band stays, becky & john had whipped up quite a feast of sausages, tri-tip, & lasagna... yum yum.
- to back up a bit, in quite fortuitous timing, i got my super-cool frankenstein-sized snow boots from the post office on the very day we had our 1st snow up here! -- of course that meant i just had to don them & tromp down to the mtg, where en route i was interviewed by the channel 9 LA news van! then fabi & johnny arrived to pick me up for the gig, & when they saw the snow, laughed & jumped around like little tykes, even having a snowball fight! we made their requisite stops to aero dog (for 99 cent bomber dogs) & bravo farms (for gourmet cheeses); i enjoy riding w/these young musicians more than a person rightfully should when you've got 3 bodies squished in a truck cab.... :) yes, it was a fine time, tho i was so, so happy to get home & in my own cozy bed looking out on "my" mountain while sipping hot beverage & enjoying dexter on the laptop...
- today i volunteered at our lovely frazier park, working w/two gals on WRP raking leaves & clearing the pond & freezing my butt off!! must wear more layers en la futura... what a wonderful time it was to work hard in the beautiful outdoors, making new friends... the boss gave me a whole bag of balls for roscoe! icing on the cake! :) this eve brought conversation w/dear young woman i met in sta fe in january... so nice to catch up w/her... then my dear cousin decided she was no longer mad @ me & my heart is warmed & grateful for this...
- wed should be hopping: practice w/dds to prep for show w/james & blues express (yay! flyer below), then "jam" w/visiting OC rockabilly royalty at a local honky-tonk. we'll be practicing for a december show... maybe some christmas tunes? sure hope so! :)
- heard this quote twice recently, so here it is for you: "we cannot control the wind, but we can adjust the direction of our sails..." with that, here are some pix from the fresno show @ audie's; the 1st one i find particularly amusing since becky looks as sexy as i do dippy ... may you be warm, fed, & happy... :)

i had one drink, two drinks, maybe 3 or 4, when i was through, it wouldn't let me go

- that is a ronnie dawson song i just really relate to... was sitting @ the doll hut in anaheim yesterday post-afternoon set w/cattie ness & revenge w/an enormous, friendly boy-man named goat, best pal of johnny rage. sweetly inebriated, he touched my triangle ring & mouthed the name of my secret society of non-drinkers (i couldn't hear him cause of the slamming psychobilly trio onstage)... i nodded yes & he suddenly looked a little... i don't know... comforted? recalcitrant? respectful? sometimes when i've met fellows & then they find out i don't drink, & even more, my affiliation & its implications (rode hard, hung up wet, still living, maybe wiser), the dynamic changes & suddenly i'm the teacher or someone to be protected from king alcohol, which i wouldn't touch if it were handed to me, anyway... but i always feel relieved when that change occurs, which it often does in my experience of bars w/men, who tend to offer drinks as icebreakers to conversation, especially if a gal's in "the band." i'd rather be the teacher -- someone from a world of safety & sobriety, not necessarily someone who can impart knowledge, but just that reliable figure that casts a guy's memory back to childhood innocence -- than a piece of meat. plus i always hold the hope for someone, cause there sure are a lot of folks in the music world who are suffering due to the bottle, the smoke, & the line... not to mention the needle, but then, i have no experience w/that. not yet, anyhow. (i have so many "yets".)
- what a wonderful trip i had to visit donna & family... ruben, her ex, my long-time friend, too, showed up & we all went to guitar center & donna the amazing somehow got 3 guitar cases for $1 each & a danelectro for 50 bucks! she is, after all, queen of scores... we went to the fair, our yearly tradition, & had the most lovely time, agreeing that the evening, the weather, the lights, the dramatic skies, the laughing crowds, the exhibits, the aromas, were magical (also, we saw beautiful farm animals & whimsical artwork! i held a scorpion! donna enthused near- orgasmically about her 1st elote w/parmesan cheese & lemon!)... then donna had a family reunion &, so happy for her, i too was honored to be the only non-family member there as we sat in the backyard @ her sis's house someplace off the 10 & ate beef stew w/carrots & potatoes, beans & cornbread & smelled, alternately, the pungent aromas of guava tree or marijuana bush, depending on how the wind changed. :)
- next day was lunch w/stepson cody &, over eggs & toast, i was delighted to learn he is in love. :) then i headed to gig at doll hut, stuffed into rockabilly jeans i've not worn for 7-8 yrs. becky fixed my hair in a swinging ponytail (as in, "i got my hair fixed in a ponytail, so when we dance, it can really sail") & we got onstage & had a rollicking fun set! it was super-loud & fast, which i love! afterward, we all hung out w/the goat & fabi's friends & adam kept joking about the smoke i had saved in my cleavage (i actually had some -- cleavage, that is -- for this show, wearing the dia de los muertos shirt walter -- who didn't show up -- had given me). becky rode w/me & delighted me w/ribald & frank stories as we caravanned back to flying j & then she hopped back in to ride home w/hubby john & adam, but while still @ the hut, i waited a bit for my friend to show up... he did not bc he'd gotten lost after playing a central cali show: wanting to get away from fans & demands + too much hair of the dog caused him to miss his ride, so now looks like i'll chauffeur him & another musician, who also got lost, home. i should get gas money from it, maybe a meal, some smokes (i don't smoke really, but will if they're greens!), some laughs, some cool music... and dusk devils, i hope, will get a gig or two out of it all. not to mention that i always hold the hope for ppl i know, whether i dislike, like or love them, that they will, if needed, put down the bottle, smoke, or line & pick up the proffered keys to the kingdom. you never know who'll find this thing, tho it certainly is only for those who realize THEY need it. it's not for me to decide for them, most definitely... i hope the trip will be an adventure!
- another upshot is, since i'll be in the southland, i can go to the barndance tonight, mebbe! perhaps manuel will show up if i call him... hope you who read this have a good & safe week. it's beautiful up here on the mountain, & i hope it is there, too, wherever you may be... :)

doll hut rockabilly invasion

good picture of becky (cattie ness), don't you think? :) cattie ness & the revenge, w/whom i'll play, are on at 3 pm sunday at the doll hut in anaheim... last wkend, they all visited for a "band sleepover," as becky called it, & we practiced for 2 days, til i was so exhausted, i was playing w/my head on the yamaha electric piano... we stopped for a sec while johnny rage gave me an energy drink w/the incredible name of "monster rehab," & by the next song, i was playing while not just standing, but jumping up & down! i could hear & see the notes before i hit them! it was a bit like my old days w/stimulants, when, to paraphrase friends of bill, i'd get so up, my eyeballs would enter the room before i did... adam laughed, "you kicked your stool like jerry lee lewis!" apparently, monster rehabs do the job... it wasn't long, tho, before i felt like i might die, & shortly thereafter, our 2-day rehearsal & recording (johnny runs sound at a few LA clubs, so brought his recording gear) adjourned & all headed home to points north & south... to begin @ the beginning, when the band arrived, cars pulled in & stuff started flying into my house: johnny unloaded 100s of lbs of gear & fabi, adam, & john brought in suitcases & backpacks & sleeping bags & becky platters & platters of food (all contributed, but she was the guiding force behind our awesome dinner & breakfast). this place has never been so filled w/bodies, music gear, & things to eat! in the morn, becky made double espressos for all -- yes, cattie ness comes off like a tough, glamorous chick, but really, when it gets down to it, she's a mother hen. :) my culinary contribution was pancakes, which i dished out dollar-size (becky insisted, & i wasn't gonna argue). i made adam a mickey mouse cake @ his request, but drew the line when one of the male band wags requested a phallus. i have standards!!!!
hope dusk devils will come for a mountain retreat weekend, too, but dusk devils fan #1, john k, was probably correct when he wrote, "i don't think the dusk devils are a real sleep-over kind of band"... actually, it's funny to ponder rick, scotty, & brian p sitting around in their pjs w/stuffed animals... :) i leave this here for their rebuttal. :)

i'm a triflin woman, i trifle all the time...

that's how becky adapted the lyrics to an old hillbilly song... always thought she was singing "traveling woman," so'd sing along like that, off mike... to be a trifling woman, not caring, what freedom, maybe!- tho realistically, to be a traveling woman would be the better, soul-wise... i like playing that song best in her band, along w/"knock knock rattle" & a few more. on some songs, i'm just not sure what kind of parts to play (she already has 3 guitars in the line-up!), so i hope to figure out more interesting fills & leads as i go... it's easy enough to hack along w/the music; to add TO it, tho, is the real magic!
so here is a link to a little tv show cattie ness & the revenge did a few wks ago in LA. the experience that day was a real music-rescue for me... music can overcome any sadness, again; life w/o music would be no life, to paraphrase vonnegut... can't help commenting on the film's low lighting, which brings out everyone's ancestors, like adam's romanesque-arabic face, fabi's aztec queenage, my craggy mayan profile (not attractive, i don't think, but interesting, like one time a guy told me i had "something ancient going on" in my face...) it's a nice bunch of friends i get to play w/these days, between dusk devils & cattie ness; i certainly feel grateful for all! cattie ness & the revenge on flashrock tv
- yesterday was eddie's alano club benefit, sparsely but generously attended -- that is, few folks, but the ones there donated lots of dough! brian p & rick were both sick but managed to hold up, scotty was spiffied up &, back to long-distance running, bouncing on the balls of his feet in high health, & i was down, down, down cause of kitty's death... but the kind & appreciative audience brightened everyone up & we had a fun little set! i've never seen brian p smile so much, for instance... it sure felt nice to look over & there was bsp, grinning sort of gently. (maybe he had a fever, come to think of it!) but no, the warm-heartedness of the drunk club's members, i think, is just contagious that way. :)
- then a woman named deedrus [sp] got up on the little stage & absolutely blew the roof off singing koko taylor's "ernestine" -- good heavens, she rocked the joint! it was huge fun trying out some memphis slim-manquee right hand noodlings on that one. i never play 12 bar blues like that, so what fun!!
- sturdy dan, my dear friend, walked in & it brightened me up, just seeing him; sister angie was there, too, w/her earnest & kindly (boy?)friend doug, & to see her smiling & laughing & so filled w/life also helped add to the memory... back at mom's & dad's (they just returned from santa fe), we visited & cried & told stories, then fell into hard sleep. when i woke this morning, sister had gone to church, mama was cooking bacon & tortillas, & i've stalled long enough -- time to see about getting my truck running, which our dependable dad should be able to make happen.
- kind wishes to all who read for a restful & blessed, or wild & happy, or somewhere in-between kind of sunday...

bah! bloop! whee! click! aah. dig? dig. &dig. &dig. :)

(lazy writing alert:) it's warm & beautiful & breezy outside & wish for you a happy, healthy day... am taking a break from working on my shrine outside (removing weeds, laying down mesh, then rock garden) cause like i said, it's warm! sure is good to be outside & get some vitamin d w/the birds & the bees & the flowers & the trees... the above event's coming up sun as well as another for same purpose the following sat, aug 20, at the alano club on 34th st (start time i think will be around noon), open to public, jam session for musicians & those who don't drink or, like bsp, won't mind taking a break for the afternoon out of respect for the venue... suggested donation for the alano club also will be $10 so that eddie can get his peepers fixed once & for all.
earlier in the wk was the barndance, a memorable night @ which i got to play w/cattie ness & the revenge, meet amazing pianists jason eoff & dona oxford (skip edwards was there, too!), play a slam-bang mini-set, dance the night away, & see all kinds of people from the smell(swell)ay roots scene like russell scott, james intveldt, etc & best of all art fein, whom i haven't seen in a chimp's age, cracking art up w/my phil alvin impersonation (i didn't know i had one til art -- a seeming cynic who has genuine generosity of spirit when he finds something appealing -- started laughing out loud, which got me going good). then my friend walter brought me a bd cake (i'd already had a spectacular bd w/my dear family) & handed it to ronnie mack himself, who held it while the whole joint sang me happy bd!! my goodness... what a life i got, for which i am so, so grateful.
then got to record a little net tv show last night w/cattie ness & revenge. night before was dusk devils show at packed-out mr t's bowl, a cool venue & yes, old bowling alley, @ which brian p debuted the biggest pomp you'd ever seen & we didn't go on til 1am & devil doll (to me) inexplicably sang pat benatar & the animals (the latter i thought even a bit blasphemous, but what the crap do i know...), but people stayed for us, too, & everyone got to dance w/walter, who generously gave me an angel necklace & then rooted & rutted his face into our pretty cousin's ample bosom as both cackled drunkenly, fun-loving heathens that they were that nite. :) in the mid of all this was trip to coast w/dear dad, sis, aunt to visit grandma & said cousin, who celebrated her big 4-0 in raucously guzzling fashion, then suffered mightily, emptying it all out & whimpering (poor baby), "thank you for taking care of me" while i patted & comforted her & sister wiped her mouth, but i've sure been there, so it felt sort of nurturing & correct & like the cycle of life & important bonding. then we attempted to sleep at cousin's/grandma's w/barky-damn-yappy dogs, so on no rest, i had volcanic meltdown next afternoon on drive to smell(swell)ay & sometimes i wish i had no mouth cause then i wouldn't say the things i sometimes do (nor make ugly faces while singing). anger, self-pity, remorse, babbling, driving, crying -- sh*t, i thought i was over it, but nossir, still a fallible, messy humanoid. oh well: a productive very late-nite powwow came of it, so maybe next time i'll be able to pause before exploding like a ranting, wailing demon... met up w/ CN&R pals & becky did quick miracle makeup on my blubbery face so i looked nice & we performed a rockin little tv show & then fabi left the country w/her family (on vacation, not the lam), johnny & goat went to san pedro for shrimp feast & beers, & the rest of us caravaned to lebec for late-nite supper at denny's (mine, 4 bucks, was pretty swell) & becky rode w/me, her steady, friendly, supportive chatting a delight. (like many folks i know, her life would make one fascinating read.) the studio, www.flashrock.com, had fun acoustics & we were styling, too, cause becky's the boss & tells us what to wear, so i cautiously say it likely not just sounded, but looked good. :) my writing here's lazy, but the few marbles i got today in my bag upstairs are rolling slowly, so this'll have to do for now. :)

upcoming shows & moonlighting dusk devils :)

at monday's show, i'll play a short set w/cattie ness & the revenge... the other should be a hoot w/lots of pretty girls... as for the last shot, rick, brian p, & eddie all met up @ trout's recently & "jammed"... i just like the pic. benefits for eddie's eye surgery will be aug 14 at trout's & aug 20 at the alano club -- flyers to come.

"hello" to jp + bang bang: great song, bad idea

hello.
thank you for continued interest in life. and i suppose me.
it's good to maintain a constant interest in life - one's own, others', the life process. good but elusive.
i bashed my noggin pretty badly yesterday, so we'll see where this writing goes -- here're some pix from this past wkend. cattie ness & the revenge: nice, fun-loving full of life, generous, laid-back comrades. becky, strong & beautiful, has created for herself a full artist's life which she kindly shares w/people like me. as you can see, the band pic came out well -- atractive folks, photogenic. however, from now on, i will groom myself for shows, & for life, for that matter, since when i don't, i feel like i'm in drag, an impostor, a midget. becky'd asked the band for an elegant look -- you can see that she (& fabi) are gorgeously coiffed -- mentioning "audrey hepburn." sighing w/doom, i realized i can't even see "audrey hepburn" from here... but "lon chaney"? yes, that look's possible, as you can see from hotel photo of my texting marathon w/fellow monster... ah! society breeding discontent & desperation (damned freud!)... ah! unstructured life condemning soul to sloth & madness (i pray temporarily)... this reminds me, tho, that i glimpsed another kindred spirit in dex romweber when skimming his CD dedication to both st cecilia & chaney & wonder if he's better-reconciled the monstrous & ecstatic impulses, a life of fun & bliss blackened by the hole of heartache & oblivion. thought my fellow monster had it made, but he, too, confessed to sadness & brokenness. arrrgggh.
will there be fun & fulfillment again before this pop stand blows? can we write out a syllogism? what would the fringe physicists say? certainly someplace there are different versions of you & me & everyone we know, & some of them gotta be consistently happy. quantum mechanics thusly alleviates, @ least for this parsec, bleakness & self-pity... w/that, let's toss the gloom & wish happy rapture-that-never-came to all. we're all still breathing, for pete's sake! lastly i must thank a person i know for ratting the demon out so that he didn't have to try to contain her all alone & so she could live another day & maybe get a dang exorcism once & for all. as for mr & mrs gia, there are seats in heaven for them both, & no words can tell how much i love them. bravery to do what the soul calls -- i've had it; i've been there; i seek it again. may your path today be clearly-guided, gentle & brave.

road trip, friendship, a little tip

- glamorous becky & co came up to the mtns yesterday to practice for her bd show, bringing boxes of food: becky's smoky tri-tip & potato salad, fabi's rice, guacamole from johnny's grandparents' avocado ranch, & more. my main contribution was dogzilla, the most gigantic hotdog i'd ever seen, from flying j at I-5. john bruce hipped me to a garage punk site run by ratboy69 & played a fast, fast town hall party-style instrumental i hope they will record. fabi sat on her prettily-painted doghouse bass, pulled up karaoke from youtube on her i-phone, & sweetly sang "volver volver" & "la bamba" on breaks & becky & i harmonized buck & don & i found out our voices blend well! b & f went thru my show wardrobe & found me a dress to fit the "cocktail" theme, assuring me i won't look like a dumpy old lady & that they'll make me look "classy & beautiful." i don't know what to say except i hope they can & will. :)
- cover for the show'll be $10. we're starting our set w/fats domino & closing w/some late-50s psychobilly, a crampsian freak-out to lead-in the psycho- bands to follow. should be a fun time, showing up early for sound-check & so the girls can glam me out as they do themselves, staying at dude boy ranch (aka brad's house), then back to meet dusk devils for mtn practice. woohoo!
- the birds at the window, in the tree, soaring around, on the lines, on the ground are singing that it's a joyful day. my tip for today, read this a.m.: "every day is a god, each day is a god, and holiness holds forth in time" (annie dillard).

clepto, cats, cattie ness, kleenex, common touch, country kitchen

- i was stuffed in the cab of johnny rage's truck between johnny (drummer) & fabi dean (upright bassist), coming home from practice in bksfld w/cattie ness & the revenge, when johnny swerved & bellowed into my ear, "HEYYYY DUDDDESSSS!!!" as we soared past a band van to our right, pulling a trailer hand-painted "clepto.net." he laughed maniacally & yelled, "those're my buds from canada!! oh my god!!! we gotta run them off the road!!!!!" his friends, "arabs from canada," have a "metal punk" band, & johnny, who plays not just w/cattie ness but w/punk band D.M.F. (dirty m...fers), said, "i really respect those guys cause they quit their jobs & they've been on the road for three years playing; they're livin' it!!"
- we pulled off at ft tejon just as a family of deer were on their gentle way & waited til the unsuspecting clepto van clambered by, at which pt johnny stomped on it & we careened in pursuit, tires screeching, even sailing on two tires for a second as he in his haste rammed the onramp curb... @ the frazier mtn exit, fabi & i got burgers while johnny visited w/clepto, surprisingly mild-looking, sleepy, hirsute young men... then J&F took me right to my doorstep, kind young friends, & took a deep breath of the mtn air here & smiled & sighed, "wow!" before they went home to the big city.
- to back up, this was a wheel-less wkend, a bit of an adventure, 1st walking the mile down thru frazier park "village" to the county transit bus stop, taking that to downtown bakersfield, then walking from there to oildale while listening to rev frost's show on my new ipod... hoofing across the oildale bridge to the sounds of ronnie love's "chills & fever," gazing at the supplely-flowing kern river, the swaying grasses, the cavorting birds, i thought, well, no kids, no spouse, but i do got adventure.
- as i got to trout's, jani pulled up & off we went to pick up our friends, then to a touring company of "cats" at the rabobank, thanks to generous mama, whom we called & cheered a thank you. (when my niece was little, i trained her to call mama "grandma claus" bc of her easy largesse -- just a few days ago, mama took us to see my 1st opera, the silly, sexy rossini farce "le comte ory," at the edwards cinema!) none of my friends had seen "cats," & for me it had been 20 yrs; i was stunned by what i'd not appreciated when i was a kid -- the limber, lissome cartwheeling & twirling, executed SILENTLY by athletic dancers who at the same time SANG -- as well as was ongoingly distracted & chagrined by flashbacks to the "simpsons" parody of the play... despite my prematurely hardened shell, when i'd see "cats" as a cynical kid i'd always cry during the show-stopping histrionics of "memory," the last time copping a resentment cause i knew that dang tear-jerking note was coming, but could do nothing to stave the waterworks. what melodic calculation -- what musical dishonesty!! to save my friends potential embarrassment, i slipped them kleenexes, instructing jani to wait to give one to young jenna, who is sharp & cool & therefore might not even be moved... engrossed in the play, jani directly handed the kleenex to jenna, which then meant i was gigged for the rest of the show. i'd look over & jenna'd be grinning at me, making crying motions w/her face & hands. i'd look over again & she'd whisper, "how you doing, sniffles?"
- a few thousand breaths later, i was having bbq in a teepee in tehachapi, then headed out to the desert to see a friend speak at a meeting. afterward i had thrifty's ice cream &, in the dark desert night, promptly got lost w/no gas in the tank. many unhappy hrs later, i met cattie ness & her band at country kitchen in bksfld & practiced at a studio off union avenue & i do love how becky leads the band w/firm hand, yet how laid-back she can be as well as appreciative of other musicians, & i like how loose & friendly the revenge is & that we played every song today SUPER FAST!!! it'll be a fun birthday show i'll get to take pt in w/bd girl cattie/becky. 2nd guitarist adam -- whose pleasant air, quick ear, mild manner, & even looks remind me of the phil -- & i will be guest revengers that eve, & hellbound hayride & another psychobilly bands will play, too. whee!
- after the happy sardine-can ride home w/johnny & fabi, i got email from a lovely musician who wrote, "would you like to come play w/us?" what a thrill! i hope it happens, but if not, to be asked was nice... so in spite of life's little & sometimes big ups & downs, music, like life, goes on. c'est la vie... c'est la musique!

candye kane, dusk devils tomorrow! (read below) + coolnesses #1-23

it's been so dang long since i wrote, i'm just gonna list:
1. we pulled up to the lamplighter in visalia & saw in the winders posters for our show! we swung open the doors & the kid at the desk said, "jenny! we finally meet!" everyone was smiling. we felt like royalty!
2. everybody got his or her own room!! in mine, two beds, sliding glass doors, microwave, fridge, wifi...
3. philbert & i walked around downtown visalia & ate at a diner. the waiter comped us french toast!
4. phil offered to unload all my stuff, so i had time to foofoo up w/o worrying. this was a big deal!
5. i descended the hotel stairs in the cool spring eve feeling like touch of evil - teetered over to the gig & there was brian, covered w/road dirt & grinning. he'd ridden over on his motorcycle from the run he was at!
6. phil & i winged some songs w/jd from motel drive during sound check... stomping fun!
7. john bruce, all draped out, introduced us & we crashed on in. everything i said, the audience laughed! i love that. brett got our sound dialed in quickly... i could really hear myself, which means i was able to sing just fine. as sick as i've been, my voice & energy cooperated surprisingly well!
8. there was so much energy in the rm! during whole lotta shakin, i swear i could hear people roaring & cheering while we played. it was wild!!!
9. after, all these young folks were heaping on the compliments. we walked around & jawed w/lots of folks, including becky's new drummer & his girlfriend: what nice people!
10. motel drive was fun! my band watched from outside, hanging on the wall like the little rascals.
12. we went joyriding w/mark & geanna for a while... came back as becky was going on. those guys are tight & high-energy these days!! fun to watch...
13. back at the rm, i ate the comp french toast & surfed the net. phil told me the next a.m. he buzzed off the pillow all night, didn't sleep a wink! we had a quick bite & he got me back to the oildale mtg by 930 am. cool!
14. the next saturday me & phil rode out to famoso & waited in the dust at the coolest abandoned diner... agreed it'd be a swell place to snap band pix! phil was decked out - spectator creepers, vintage pineapple shirt, black slacks... that guy can really style!
15. the others showed & we caravanned out to relay for life at the high school. people were sooo nice, but the sound from the stage was nonexistent! as sick as i've been, i thought w/doom, if the 2nd gig's like this, i'm gonna be dead. i was singing really hard, tho i knew i shouldn't, just to feel my own voice & gauge my pitch! w/no monitors, the others had to watch my lips the whole show to know where we were..
16. highlights: a southwestern granny w/beautiful gray hair & red lipstick/shirt bopped away gently in her seat, on her face such a look of happiness & longing, my heart melted; a chubby, darling, bespectacled little girl just stood there, head cocked like a puppy, smiling up at me...
17. they whipped us up delicious carne asada tacos & sodas for the rd. yum!!!! i think i ended up eating most of them...
18. we sped back to bako to the johnny burnette trio & started hauling stuff down the sandrini's stairs for the pub crawl gig.
19. where's all the people? i asked mark, & he replied, oh, they'll be here. boom! suddenly the rm was PACKED elbow to elbow w/all these young people in blue shirts - all roaring drunk!!! the underground cave-rm was a cacaphony of screaming, whooping, yelling, guzzling, happy little borrachos!
20. we began & everyone started jumping up & down like mad, writhing, wriggling, pointing, howling, jumping on the stage... kids were even dancing on the tables!! at the end of each song, they would scream at the tops of their lungs & snap a million pictures, wild w/alcohol happiness... who'd've thought it'd've been so wonderful to play for a packed rm of young inebriates? they looked so happy... i wish i could get some of those pix...
21. the promoter slapped the dough on mark's amp & charged out like the pied piper, the screaming blue shirts in tow... just like that, everyone was gone to the next pub & we suddenly could hear how ear-bleedingly loud we were! the bodies had been soaking up the noise all along...
22. we packed up & took phil's friends to jake's tex-mex. they ate like birds & we had jake's cake, which is so tasty, it seems indecent.
23. i don't guess there's been any more gigs since last wkend... we have had to turn down a few, in fact, due to phil's boy scout commitments! i say that's a great reason to miss out, tho... but stay tuned for tomorrow night: we open for candye kane at the doubletree... whoo-hoo! come on down! (read below)