congratulations to angie & doug!!!!; music; my ex, my friend; blabbity blabbity blab blab

- art fein posted the pic (below on this blog) of ruby friedman & i on his site, calling us "femmes flagrant," which i only can translate as "obviously females." i take this as compliment (ruby is ultra-glamorous &, like i do, favors short dresses/long hair/platforms/makeup); thanks, @!... that led me to poke around art's site & find again this pic, which i love & repost here not just cause it's funny & shows two eccentric, ultra-talented cuties, but because of what i think to be a strange phenomena: their physical resemblance extends also somehow to their musical interests, lifestyle habits, & vocal chords (structural similarity = similar physiognomy? do women whom i resemble lean toward thyroid & mood imbalance, addictions, athletic & musical tendencies, mad magazines & monsters?)... it makes sense two throats similar in shape & size possibly also could emit similar singing voices, tho in phil's & james's cases, that voice is so unusual! the similarity just interests me, as if this truly were a case of "brothers from another mother," tho phil's old enough to be james's uncle...
- it has snowed & stuck here today, the hillside outside still gleaming faintly in the dark, & earlier flakes flitted & danced & swirled while the dogs played outside, their thick dark coats sugared icy white (brian brought them up; we had a nice lunch & he told me about the "old man motorcycle" he's built as well as that his former job wants him back, which doesn't surprise me bc brian is a well-liked genius). too bad it didn't snow yesterday when cattie ness & the revenge were here! they stayed for the weekend, another "band sleepover," as becky calls them; she outlined for fabi & i our upcoming trip to france in spring (to be tourists & to play @ the blue monday rockabilly festival in lyon). we played a lot of music, recorded by friendly drummer johnny. in a stupor of food & 2nd-hand band smoke, i sat rather than stood as we played & played & played, barely able to keep my eyes open most of the weekend!... this wkend we'll be pt of a rockabilly show at anaheim's doll hut (contact me, if interested), & friday i hope to see petunia & the vipers, the canadian band of whom fabi & james've spoken highly, along w/phil alvin & exene cervenka. but we'll see.
- today i'm thankful that friends having major life events are making good progress, it sounds like, but best news of all is that my sister was proposed to today by her preacher boyfriend, a rough-hewn, friendly bear of a man who works hard to help others & has never tried to proselytize my family, which i very much appreciate. anyone w/sense, which he has, would look @ my family & see, tho they are not specifically religious, they are moral, upstanding people of generous spirit, not in need of "saving." "i guess i have to be good now," mama said on the phone, but the joke is, she already is. personally, i know i could afford to gossip & swear less, to live more the way that my conscience knows that i should (to quote one of my favorite books, marcus aurelius' meditations, "if it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it"), so i'm happy for the potentially positive influence of this "christian man" in our family. plus, i just like the guy!
- my sister has been so much happier since meeting this man, which makes me so happy for her. little angie is kind, smart, talented, loyal, hard-working, & so many other things positive; she deserves a good fellow! i hope & wish she & her husband-to-be will enjoy the rests of their lives together as a team, through the good & the bad... for there always is bad along w/the good, as any sensible person knows. nunca te rindas!! the trick w/any relationship is to commit to growing together, as brian & i did for many yrs before we grew so much, we got too independent of one another & grew apart!... despite this, i am thankful today to have such warm feelings toward my ex-husband, who is quite a fine man. this might sound weird, but i hope he finds love again w/a woman worthy of him (& that anyone unworthy will be sunk in the kern river). of course, i hope, too, that when i am ready (i'm not) i will find love again w/a dependable someone w/whom i will commit & grow. this liminal life-stage i've been in for these past yrs can't last forever... can it? :)
- still, i gotta be happy w/what i have, which is a life more filled w/love & friendship than i've ever known. tomorrow, for instance, we'll celebrate the women's meeting here @ my home, & i can't wait to get my place all cleaned up & welcome my friends here to share valentines, food, drink, laughter, & hearts w/each other (boy, THAT didn't sound corny!). :)
- "love is an offspring of spiritual affinity," wrote kahlil gibran.
happy valentine's day to anybody who has read this far :) here's some more cool stuff to read, if you're interested: quotes from marcus aurelius love to all. :)

blablablablablablablabla

the blablabla never ends! how bout for you?
fat sparrows in tree! so cute! just got off phone w/a few ppl & while we spoke, i watched a black cat in the arroyo loll in the sun & survey the bushes as if he were king of the jungle. animals: heartening, fun, mysterious, & w/o the many problems that emanate from the "higher mind" of their homo sapiens brothers!
gotta get this place cleaned up & pack to head down the hill. the kern transit here runs to-from FP-bksfld, only $3.50 one way - a lot cheaper than driving! i'll walk about 1 mile down to the stop & board for this little adventure, which i've not taken for some months... yes, it's easy to glide into happy sloth, being semi-retired like i am these days... i try not to feel guilty, but instead be grateful. in this society, i believe these days i get to live a rather unusual existence: not working, living off savings, playing music, enjoying my life! i know, tho, i'm in this life-place because i've always been able to save my dough, thru gainful employment, long marriage to wealthy, hard-working husband which allowed me to further save my own monies, thrift taught us by our father, & lack of my own children... i so love kids, & at times have pangs of wishing my life were different, but then i remember how silly it is to "borrow trouble," as donna would tell me, suffering over what isn't, so i think i'll just enjoy this while it lasts & leave the guilt to someone who deserves to feel thusly, like the violent or liar or hater or greedy...
anyways, the elvis show was really fun, tho lower-key for me than usual because NO BLASTERS were there this yr! phil alvin's been recuperating (i hope). bill bateman showed up, tho, vulpine, grinning, grayed, just to hang out. when i looked at the lineup (over 40 acts!), to my slight dismay i saw the only folks who didn't show up were my friends james & manuel... i was looking fwd to seeing them both! oh well... introduced by art as "one of the best secrets in rock n roll" (!!!), we did a very "up" set as dusk devils, w/rockabilly-punk cutie (women swoon over him, tho he is happily married!... all i know is, sure doesn't hurt to have attractive ppl in a band!) AJ on doghouse bass & smiling stevo, looking like a baby fidel castro in hat & cigar, on drums... then we played a short set w/cutie-pie karling, in lovely black dress, & i REALLY enjoyed backing her. in fact, that's pt of the reason i felt less nervous this year, i think: playing w/more than just my act for some reason calmed me, & how nice it was to get such compliments afterward from people like skip edwards, russell scott, dave stuckey, ronnie mack... however, i was BLOWN AWAY that my "biggest fan" that eve was the amazing & gorgeous ruby friedman!, who ran up to me & announced herself to be that. ruby adores jerry lee lewis, so that might've been the appeal. she also told me, "you do your eyes like mine" (tho her eye makeup is more theda bara & glamorous than my smeared egyptian eyes), complimented my bangs repeatedly, & told me she'd been drinking (as are most ppl in that setting), so maybe she was being especially kind under the sweet sway of drink, but in any case, she was happy, droll, intelligent, & fun to gab with!... heck, beautiful ruby, amazing chanteuse of powerful pipes & passionate performance (she blew away "fever" & "hound dog" -- w/big mama lyrics, of course!), told me she wants to get together to play music, even!! art's eyes glimmered when i told him that & he smiled. "that's what i do," he said, yoking his hands. "i put ppl together." excellent, art, & thank you so much, if you're putting me together w/ppl like wonderful ruby! her passion onstage is nearly unbeatable, & her voice & star presence are unlike any female i can think of... i know many amazing frontwomen (candye, karling, becky), but ruby puts her whole body into the show; her soul blazes, palpable when she's onstage; she's like a "force of nature," i'd say, a whirlwind, a hurricane.
prone to hyperbole, i can write such a thing & know what i mean... :)
yes, to continue to gush, i'd say her voice is one of the best i've ever heard, & her compositions, tho they tend to make me plunge bc i'm overly-sensitive & that's why i stick to performing happy music, are complex & deep & very real... the eccentric talented supernovas i get to rub elbows w/ -- ruby & james, primarily -- remind me of a great quote from oscar wilde: "be yourself. everyone else is taken." ...
here's a pic bsp took before we post-show hit the road for bako. the ride over & back w/the paxtons & stevo was low-key, friendly, & fun -- what a thing for which to give thanks! :) the music is swirling, exciting, barnstorming drama enough; in the rest of life i'd prefer (tho i know it can't always happen) to have friendliness, gentleness, kindness, love, even tenderness... good day to you who may read this. :)

train train, coming down the line... well it's bringin my baby cause (s)he's mine, all mine...

just was sent this sort of punkish flyer... the elvis show will be sunday & is bound to be swell.

ronnie mack's barndance

click on the pic to read the caption. photos are courtesy of rebecca caraveo & walter van buskirk (+ my ipod). it was a real fun time!

honoring the king as well as the king & queen of rocknroll music

every yr i'm so amazed art keeps asking us back to this fantastic show... this yr, i asked him if he had any requests. "well," he replied, "no one's ever done ready teddy. or long tall sally. or tutti frutti." his next email read, "and certainly not ever has anyone done them as a medley." my heart flipped & i took the hint. what a task!!: to not just honor the king of rocknroll, but to put on the mantle of the one & only mister penniman, self-proclaimed king AND queen of rocknroll!... i don't know how well we'll ape, but good heavens, we'll sure have our fun singing & playing those tunes!! in fact, everyone that night will have fun -- even if we fall off the stage, totally crash & burn, we'll be but a tiny grinning, swinging part & the show will go on & all will have fun! happy upcoming birthday to elvis, on the heels of baby new year...

gud jul & L7 over x in the snow: true love is the devil's crowbar; he hung me with the endless rope; you will always subtract your arms from my arms

-> (sometimes on here stuff seems sort of in code, to protect people's privacies, not to deliberately obfuscate, but i recently heard the latter's how it can come off, so if you don't know it, the above translates as "happy new year from frazier park," followed by lyrics from the terrific LA '80s punk-roots-art band X, who wrote a lot about the world's social injustice, but also about love-torture. the heart IS a lonely hunter. and often wounded & hungry, too.)
-> my former future-ex-husband (i've given up) phil alvin will serve as master of ceremonies for the gene taylor blues band's new yr's eve show this friday nite at LA's redwood room. gene'll be backed by the original blasters, for pete's sake. here's an article about this going-to-be-incredibly-awesome show, at which i will not be. yeah, should just kill myself & get it over with, but've been doing this spiritual practice lately, yknow, so just won't... plus (it IS some consolation, tho gene'll be back in belgium by then) will get to see most of these fellas @ the elvis birthday bash, art fein's annual super shindig, art fein of hollywood, that is, our manager in name, man about tinseltown, gadfly, scribe, hopeful malcontent w/love of music so fervent, bet it overrides his hatred of sloppy language (don't read this, @), art whose green corduroy jacket i finally shall return in hope-not-too-dog-haired & wrinkled condition...
-> lately my thing is to miss it all, like a bizarro world art. for instance, a blasphemy: x played the other night @ the crystal palace, but in my bones i knew i just had to get home to the mtns, so no estaba.
-> my sister reported they played the entire los angeles album, then at least 3-4 songs from every other. after i finished throwing up, i got back on the phone. "billy zoom looked perfect," she cooed, "& afterward john doe & exene were out in the lobby signing autographs but i couldn't go up to him!! i was too scared!!" i recalled to her 1st time mtg phil alvin being that way, shaking like the leaves on the trees... brian p, good guy, grabbed me & pushed me up to phil, who kissed my hand & recited a poem. bp took pix; in them, i look like maybe i just had a fit, sort of spacy & goony. wish i'd been @ x cause would've done the same for my sis, shoved her up there so she'd have a photo memento.
-> what else? candye kane's & tom yearsley's party. that'll be a super gas. a SUPER GAS!! and I WAS INVITED!! (me & 1,000 others, that is.) then there's another party in simi valley where was told i even could sit in, but they'll be playing '80s & the friend who invited me & even is playing it is not excited about it... 3 musical event possiblities... i mean, jeez.
-> what's wrong w/me?!? such a stick in the mud. we only live once, right? but lately am in a space where 1) my spirit's doing well; 2) therefore don't have thoughts of head in oven; & 3) wanna keep it that way. really, something about the music just makes me come unhinged. can't do halfway: it's love or barf! that's fine when close to home so a person can slip out, or is surrounded by brothers & sisters so can come down safely. but all the aforementioned events'll be in the southland. that leaves me alone after the ball drops & therefore maybe headed for lonesome town & maybe even dangerland. so trying to be wise, this hermit's gonna miss it all this auld lang syne. but will hope to see the ball drop, anyhow, at some cozy place, & usher in 2011 soberly... be you sober or not, @ 12 am on jan 1, may you be safe & happy.
-> prudence, wisdom, chickenness? feh. no se importa. why'd i even write all this? maybe you face similar indecision, worry about being uncool, missing out, life leaving you behind. but how can we be cool if we're dead? the health of one's soul must come first. then fun, then coolness, then kicks. as a person i know says, "i have spoken."
-> drew a full house @ the goodwill recently, picking up john doe's roadside prophets, juke logan, & exene's old wives tales on cassette - 25 cents each! so happy for my antiquated av gear, which allows such deals. yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! feliz ano nuevo!! so for 2011, here's some x lyrics:
-> absence makes the heart grow fonder / so i never want to see you again / i'm wrecking the kitchen carefully / but i'm keeping your dinner warm...
... as well as their sort of new year's song:
-> year one little babies, year one on their tvs, no a.d. b.c. a.d. patriotic people sleep in washington d.c., waiting waiting waiting, they don't feel a thing, no dolls no debutantes, no desperate living class, no roman catholic mass, no magazines no tv, no r.c.a. no g.e., year one in our history, year one in society, they're waiting for the son, for any son to come, year one you're on, i'm one
(in fine: brilliant niece on the world ending in 2012; read this imagining a teenage voice dripping w/sarcasm: "the mayan calendar is a circle. assuming a circle has a beginning OR end, which it does NOT, people, what would you do when it ends? YOU START OVER. i imagine if the ancient mayans hadn't been wiped out, they'd've made a new calendar starting at 2012... but there ARE NO ANCIENT MAYANS ANYMORE. and IT'S A CIRCLE, PEOPLE!")

storming inside, storming outside... what a mess

man-about-hollywoodtown art fein mentioned our gallery/ruby escapade in his latest column: "I went to an art opening for my friend John Tottenham, whom I’d always known one-dimensionally as a writer. His drawings and paintings covered many white walls at a space next to a sport-shoes store in a nondescript part-American area south on La Cienega and a great celebration and gathering was at hand. Jenny the thrush [as in the throat infection, mebbe?] and ivory-tickler from the Dusk Devils came along and we ran into many people we know, including to our surprise the surprised Phil Alvin. Much fun was had. Then we went over to a club mysteriously hidden behind Amoeba Record to attend Rodney Bingenheimer’s Rock & Roll show featuring my idol Ruby Friedman. We got in a little late and caught only two of her songs, but two of her songs is worth a hundred of anyone else’s ..." yes, definitely ruby is idol-worthy... was awed but also scared to watch her, really. so powerful. such emotion. can't really handle it. panic, choke, feel end drawing near. it gets stupid-bad! must limn edges of life, stay nimble, hop around, stay ahead. life's heaviness is too close-to-the-surface in this brain. yet, in a finger's snap, all is bliss, wonder, amazement! i often just don't get why i got this particular coconut, bent on my destruction, seemingly... anyways, the above describes only one of about 50 escapades of which @ writes this mo.; he's never in one place, he goes from town to town... he really gets around! (at top of this page is ad for this yr's elvis show, too.) sofein
* @ mysteriously left his green corduroy jacket in the small space of my truck's front seat (daughter jessie had his car, so i chauffeured). i'm sorry to say it now bears dog hair... would love to get pix from paul body of the night, including 1 of me/PA & AF, tho am positive i was having a very bad hair night.
* tottenham's art was peculiar & affecting. one series showed a disabled, nude, seemingly depressed, underfed woman. i thought it exploitative, & then an acquaintance said he liked it!: that it showed the humanity of persons normally not considered subjects of art! my dear friend donna'd probably say rashomon may be the case -- someplace in the middle is Truth.
* imagine that. the frigging middle. now there's a wise construct!
* the wall that flipped me out most displayed a score of small paintings, ea of a different man w/a different woman, ea in which the man's fingers are stuffed in the woman's mouth.
* i mean, what the hell can i say about that except i just don't know what the hell to say about that... it was kinda weird & thrilling & depressing, i guess.
* lastly, am glad i saw art's post & have something to write about that doesn't involve an oven & my head. (just kidding, loved ones, about something not funny one bit.) the dog boys are here & it's storming like crazy... i should be @ a mtg!... so what's it like to have two ppl living in one body? (not that you asked?) bliss & bane, thrill & despair, too much for me...
* waiting for the next wave, when the updraft hits & i go soaring... should be soon, knowing this rollercoaster... soon!! "there is always madness in love. but there also is always some reason in madness." nietzsche? is it true???
* wishing you a warm place out of the elements, w/a head & soul that cooperate...

fragmenticity, shifts in tense, sleepy can't-sleep ramblings

-can't sleep!
- going to nyc! among other things, for a meditation seminar... need to mellow out. so excited, tho!!! want to ice skate (haven't since 1x in child yrs), jog & explore central pk, walk & walk the upper east side & everyplace, see coney island, eat pizza. anything beyond just being there will be lagniappe. art said, "i'd never sleep if i lived there. i can definitely feel the pulse of the city..."
- lately - beautiful karling abbeygate & my friend manuel! palmer & leo were there, too, w/me therein reuniting the big manny christmas record crew... :) cool retro marina hotel. late night drives. denny's pancake puppies & peppermint shake! dusk devils music. scotty adds ideas to evil eye... yes, new songs! monster drinks. very cool gigs upcoming, more pending!! long mountain hikes with friends. i look out from the vista on which i stand & realize: the mountains are my backyard! wow! transitions, arguments, amends, lonely times, better times. good mtgs around here! visit from mom & dad... then hollywood w/art fein: john tottenham art exhibit; in the midst of it, surprise glimpse of beautiful erin, who's gracious enough to let me make amend to her, albeit brief (i'm sure i spooked her; i'm sure she didn't expect to see awful me there... but she looked happier when she left, less stressed, & i was so happy, too, to get that unexpected chance to try to make right a wrong); friendly paul body w/his roach-stomping, high-gloss cowboy boots; phil alvin... phil alvin! at the art opening, just like that, incongruously!... (why do i say "incongruously"? i don't really know the guy! just certainly didn't expect him there... nor he, me [us?], by his pleased gape.)
-just a bit more on phil, w/whom i've been obsessed for decades (tho i have had to admit in this past yr he'll possibly never be my future ex-husband): he stood there grinning at me -- at ME!! -- like bugs bunny or the heehaw donkey, rooster-chested, shoulders thrown back like the one bad stud, in a black thrift-store suit & white dress shirt w/wife-beater showing beneath... his hair was dyed, jeffersonianly, & his manner was dim, hip, regal, friendly. "hey, di-d-did i hear ya moved?" he asked me, jutting forward at me for a bit of emphasis, & then we all talked for a bit & i piqued him w/news of the mysterious museum of jurassic technology, a dang place never open when i'm down there... phil was there to hang out, to schmooze, but i got freaked out!, so went to "look at the art." can't be that crazy hot-to-trot for someone for so many yrs then stand & shoot the bull w/him. just can't. it was too much!!
- art had a little wine & was done, said it didn't make him drunk but just feel weird, tho also relaxed so that he "could talk." malcolm gladwell, accordion, relationships, living in paris (he has; i've just visited), some gossip about a musician-knothead everyone knows, & of course, music music music, lots of talk & it all & all was quite a cool & even amazing evening... headed to cabana club off sunset for stunning, wonderful ruby friedman orchestra, ruby leading her crescendoing songs w/these magnificent silent-era eyes & lips & arms that floated like butterflies. then she'd rock & shake like the child of joe cocker meets janis & it was the coolest thing i've seen ever in someone not a whacked-out rockabilly eccentric. she was so haunting, sincere, lovely, rock-opera intense - yet a giggling sort of friendly gentle hippie girl in repose, which made me like her even more.
good gravy, i need to go to bed...

happy, happy baby

one time a friend kindly made me a CD of songs, & this was the 1st cut. i share w/all, especially my buddy who's having an important appt today.
this is just wonderful, i think. :) may we all be happy today, or if not today, how about tomorrow. :)

tweedeedeedeedeedle-eedee / "the greatest wealth is health" (virgil)

- was surprised to find this video on youtube! it's the only one i've seen where i'm clearly reading words as i sing (taped to the piano) - now i know i need to smile more when i'm doing that! was happy, tho, to hear my voice problems at that time weren't too apparent.
-please watch & rate the video (if you like it, that is) :)
-another on youtube from that same night also is under sofein's videos... if you will, please watch & rate it, too (again, if you like it, that is...) :)

-speaking of sofein, was sposed to lunch w/him yesterday in frazier pk, where i went bc 1) had no doctor's appts yesterday; & 2) have concluded i must move from bakersfield before summer hits if i'm to continue to live... looking back on this blog, i realize i've been sick now for SIX YEARS (tho probably longer, since this blog only goes 5 or so)!! i've had to conclude my poor health is due to the filthy air here, unfortunately, since i do love so much about backwardsfield, tho it's like a bad relationship, as i've said, one you can't get rid of but sometimes surprises you by being a real good time... art is going thru bereavement following the recent passing a very dear friend, grief that expressed itself in his back, so staying home in his hollywood bed, he was able to rest & i was able to be super-busy w/realtors. i was delighted by the variety of properties in frazier park! - left w/a feeling of real excitement. ideally, w/a place there, i'll be close enough to bako to see family, loved ones, doggies, dusk devils (& maybe find a band in socal, too!) & still live in a place where i can jog, hike, maybe rest & find peace, but most importantly, GOOD HEALTH!!!!
- found out the other day too that i have a bona fide "other" health condition besides thyroid & sinus/allergy problems... it was sort of a shameful moment of realization, but now, like realizing & facing alcoholism, i can accept a solution. some say "there are no accidents"... i dunno bout that, but perhaps all this bad health news will lead to a better & happier life for me & those who care about me.
- i agree 100% w/the following: "in order to change, we must be sick & tired of being sick & tired" (unknown) or, put another way, "to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey" (proust).
-a few more truths & jewels: "joy and temperance and repose / slam the door on the doctor's nose" (longfellow).
- "diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body" (cicero).
- "a good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book" (irish proverb).
- and lastly, for myself & for you, if this be your problem, too, i second that "mens sana in corpore sano" (your prayer must be for a sound mind in a sound body) (juvenal). rock, rock, rocknroll, the feeling is there, body & soul...

day 10 of plague, fun w/dusk devils, the stupid poison of self-doubt, the juanenos & dear grandma mary live on

this is day 10 of my plague. but i know i will get better. so andale.
1st angel said we were "too good for bakersfield" (she is so sweet), then randy flattered the crap out of me the other night after treating the band to dinner @ the crystal palace (where token okies played). we had laughs, a ton of food, mark & i fought over the gigantic desserts (the mud pie was spectacular), then said our goodbyes & it was then that randy proceeded to say i was about the coolest thing since sliced bread. he is excited about the band! his enthusiasm is so neat to see! i felt very grateful! :however, also a bit like a weasel, for i fear i'd prompted his compliments by being too typically self-deprecating (tho, in my view, realistic) in stating that if we DO have professional photographers shoot us (the guys've been talking about this), i would prefer the cameras be ABOVE my head, not below, the latter not being exactly the most favorable angle for a middle-aged gal... randy, what a mensch, disagreed & basically said i had no bad angle.
well, if you go to youtube, you will see the latest video from the elvis show. and i will leave it to you to decide if being filmed beneath the chin really is my best angle. personally i think the shots on the big screen behind me look much better! anyways, thank you, franklin o & art, for posting our video. am thinking of barnum now... no publicity's bad pub...
........
...
suddenly pictured mama smacking me for writing all of this at all. she says my sister & i spend too much time worrying about our looks, & rereading this, well, i guess she's right! body dysmorphia plagues all american women to some degree, tho, says my friend. & lately i've been really thinking about a beautiful & talented woman i know named candye & how proud she is of her plus-sized frame, & how full of self-confidence & sexiness & awesomeness & courage she is & i feel a little foolish for worrying about this dumb sack of bones & skin "i" presently inhabit. so maybe if i live to be 100, i'll be over all this & will see it's what's on the inside that matters, & even if the world might judge me by my outsides at times, why the heck should i do that? how does that insanity help one bit? thanatos or eros: what do i choose? or rather, what SHOULD i choose?? life's just too short to boo-hoo about one's shortcomings. too dang short!!!
today we went to uc irvine, my family & i, to make sure we stay on the juaneno rolls. we went in honor of grandma mary, who always wanted to see the tribe, her tribe, be recognized. this is supposed to be the year it happens! am trying not too be too cynical about the whole thing, wondering why in the world the u.s. gov would give prime so-cal real estate to a group of indians. maybe in grandma's memory; maybe in the name of miracle; maybe in the name of mercy & fairness; maybe it will happen. why not hold the hope? there were 1500 people there today, a huge crush, a far larger swarm than the 100 or so they'd anticipated, of medium-hued & tan people w/long straight black or graying hair who'd traveled from as far as arizona, lots of people who looked kind of like my sister & i, several who touchingly (for us all) resembled grandma mary enough that mama looked so happy, & dad teared up, & i felt comfortable, & maybe these were our people, after all, maybe i DO belong someplace on this earth. the star people, the acjachemen, the juaneno band of mission indians live on, exist, thrive, recognize one another, & maybe in 2010, will be "recognized" by the united states of america. i do hold the hope, mostly in honor of prudencia maria antonia elizabeth ollivares forquera, who ate abalone & mussels & played w/her brothers & sisters & was adored by her father & grew up along the shores of san juan capistrano, then los angeles, then pond, then finally delano, where she became our beloved grandma mary, whose memory we so cherish & hold dear in our hearts. maybe for her & all those like her, the beloved & departed ones, the juanenos will be "recognized."

happy birthday, elvis; dusk devils in LA times

he'd be 75 this year...

we'll be on around 9 pm...
thanks again to art for having us @ his annual elvis birthday bash! we'll do 3 tunes then be off...

pic of my higher power; all i want's a pepsi (&apiano)

just kidding. sort of.
here are 2 pix from yesterday. i wanted to get more, but mark & randy were drenched in sweat moving gear & then we launched into a marathon music session, but at least i got these. joe on pedal steel,

randy on drums, my friend philbert, mark, it was a draining but gratifying experience. heck, this guy came up & told me, "you know rod piazza & honey? [of course i know OF them, tho i don't know them] well, i thought she was the best female piano player i'd heard til i heard you." good lord - honey learned to play from otis spann records! otis spann! yes, i was grateful for the compliment, & all the ones i & we got. then shantell & i were talking about putting together a female cramps revue for halloween. good gravy! that would be so cool! yes, we are all so lucky to have song, to be wading in the stream of music, as phil alvin said. to be pumping away at my piano & look back & see the guys smiling w/excitement & happiness as we all rode a tune, well, what could be more exhilarating? (can't think of anything at all at this exact moment. not a one.) we were a team, the band & the audience, sharing in a swell rockin exuberant time. wow.
we played for 4 hrs, then quit & i sort of crumbled in exhaustion, but got to go grab a little down-home grub & get to a mtg w/jani & mark & hear gentle jani speak as well as a woman from the pacific group who was witty but left me feeling curiously empty.
then i came home & went insane, as has been happening, but i didn't drink & didn't have to call 9-1-1, so the day was rode out & put up & i got to live one more time. life's scary lately, but i seem to be a survivor, tho only the universe knows in the end, i guess.
today's been a bit brighter: played music at my higher power (see above) & worked on a different approach to the bigbk & listened to wonderful mix cd from art fein & gene taylor sent me a song via email & i got 2 incredible, supportive emails (plus kindly note from af) from people i didn't even think i was that close to, but i sure feel close to, now, for taking the time to help me feel like it's worth it & encouraging me to not give up, & what the heck have i got to be miserable about?????
enemy between my ears, this is no longer dramatically invigorating or an interesting existential dilemma. you are killing me.
the only thing to fear is fear itself, said one of the roosevelts, & fear's been grabbing me by the head lately, grabbing me & swinging me around like some wild demon, jezebeth, pyro, lilith, verin, vetis, asmodeus, argggh... but then the good of the universe returns the music & the love of others & restores hope, at least for now.
the enemy doesn't listen, so it seems imperative to turn all together away from it in surrender & toward the good stuff. (insert biblical quote about evil.) i can see now how the little richards, elvises, & jerry lees believed so fervently in the lord or the devil. the dichotomy gives a seemingly clear-cut reason for these times of madness & despair, the evil of the world. certitude of the origin of this would sure be nice. selfishness & self-centeredness or beelzebub? the latter would be easier to accept. otherwise, i am my own hell.
do believe (again) that where there's life, there's hope. am not pushing up daisies yet. so there is hope, & may there be for you, too... as usual, i don't know what i'm babbling about, so time to go. amor vincit omnia. i hope.

dusk devils on art fein's poker party (r.i.p. for now)

art posted my least-favorite of my songs, which i wrote thinking of my friend becky, the haughtily-glamorous cattie ness. it's my least favorite, i think, because i'm not haughty!! but on becky, the quality's very alluring. :) i think it'd be fun to be haughty, maybe... the best part of the vid is art's little whoop at the end. it's great to play when he's there bc of his enthusiastic response, like a little kid. :) please watch & rate & thanks.

duskdevils saturday march 28, 8:30 pm, free outdoor show, bring la familia!, plus blablabla

mark made this:
it is amazingly lovely here in bako right now... am not even jealous of art fein for being at sxsw & i'm not!! :) he called a few days ago to say wish you were here or maybe thumb his nose, so i called him back "on behalf of the working class of america" to announce that SOME of us schlubs have to WORK!!!! (look for full AF sxsw report on www.sofein.com) (my tx cousin was here, lessening the injury: her bawdy joy really makes anyplace feel fun as austin, tho certainly in a more quotidian way...) actually, things worked out best w/ddevils NOT going to sxsw, since we all have had family or other issues, & family always will trump band, to sound decidedly unrocknrollish... this wkend dear friends F&B are here, & last night we supped at mama roomba's, & today visited the once-but-no-longer-secret hot springs in the canyon & i hiked around & climbed up rocks & sang w/the birds & the wildflowers (how could a person not?), then we grubbed at the dam corner (well, they had salads; i grubbed) & man, you should hear the avian symphony going on up here in this 2nd-floor aerie right now.
must be 1st-day-of-spring syndrome: beauty is everyplace, & i don't know where i'm going, but at this sec, it's to the shower, & later i hear we'll have pistachio ice cream or maybe the elvis sundae at moo creamery (ice cream, bacon, marshmallow, banana, peanut butter). (ahh... PB... god bless george washington carver...) not much could be better, not at this second, & may this day bring you, too, kicks & grins a-plenty.

r.i.p., lux: when i die, don't you bury me at all, just nail my bones upon the wall, beneath these bones let these words be seen,

...here's the bloody gears of a boppin' machine (cramps' revision of ronnie dawson's rockin' bones).
this makes me so so so sad. is it true? he's "died" many times... i'm sad, tho i never met the cramps, only saw them perform (not sure how many times). but isn't that what used to make movie stars STARS??? they were not FRIENDS, they weren't like us, & i never deluded myself i'd get to know such stars. they were punk-rock royalty, beautiful monsters, vinyl fetishists, dadaists, preservers & purveyors of the best of american shlocky movie & musical midnight CULTure. historians. archivists! art used to manage them (they fired him; he can tell that story) but saw them at the movies a few yrs back & said, w/typical understatement, "lux & ivy still cut quite a figure." greg got snubbed, heck, screwed by them when he printed his interview w/them in the wrong mag. (he can tell that story.) but really, who expects nicety from such folks? they were above & below that. yrs ago, our old bassist robert ran a crazy mag out of vegas & he erased the tape he interviewed lux on, so he just made it up. it was one of the funniest things i ever read; wish i had a copy.
they were monstrous & magical & probably saved 1000s of outsider kids & people in general from committing suicide, just be BEING. (i know i felt less alien & horrible when i listened to the cramps & gazed at their alluring amazing mythical weird & wild visages & dreamed about being that cool & bad & knowing i never would & feeling transcended...) yet for their site, they picked this lovely pic, which is "tarzan & his mate"-old-hollywood glamorous. there was so much romance riding under the dark wild thrills of the cramps.
i guess i just wrote a lot. this whole thing ain't about me, but part of my youth just died, so that merits a bit of blabla, is what i think. :(
here's the report. be sure to watch the videos. my favorite interview's not yet on youtube: in it, lux, looking like boris karloff in drag, drops weird, gentle, spacy one-liners like jonathan winters. it made me wish i knew him. a real star has fallen.
http://www.thedailyswarm.com/headlines/cramps-lux-interior-rip/

happy birthday elvis happy birthday elvis happy birthday elvis

flyer by mark! pert-near-full lineup at www.sofein.com!

!!!!RAEY WEN YPPAH

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! may yours be happy, honest, purposeful, creatively fulfilling, & w/o too many regrets.
THE ELVIS SHOW IS COMING... see www.sofein.com for the flyer. :)
just got back from "vacating." the dogs were patient & stalwart travelers. iron butt briggs got us home by new year's eve, for which i was grateful. summary:
-> day 1: 574 miles to richfield, ut. food: cracker barrel dumplings. music: voodoo jive, chuck berry oh yeah, jimmy yancey vol. 3. conditions: white christmas snowy. cold!
-> day 2: 466 miles to denver. food: mexican in denver. music: just rockin’ & rollin’, more bad habits, the sadies. conditions: 4wd on icy roads, snow everywhere, frigging cold!!
-> day 3-4: boulder-denver. food: lucile’s boulder (biscuits, grits, beignets). music: rockin’ bones boxset from generous paul! conditions: cold, snowy, yuppie boulder, downhome denver, good women's mtg.
-> day 5: 200 miles to trinidad, co. food: feta pizza at whole foods denver, lee’s bbq trinidad – the best! hershey’s chocolate shake, buttered vienna roll, bbq sandwich, battered jalapenos, nice service. music: rockin’ bones, npr. conditions: warming up, found jawbone at truck stop.
-> day 6: 251 miles to albuequerque. food: overrated harry’s roadhouse sta fe, delicious homemade tortilla & empanadita in las vegas, nm, sopaipillas & sweet rice at garcia's kitchen abq. music: night train to nashville. conditions: cool little towns like raton & las vegas, lost in touristy santa fe, nice old square in abq.
-> day 7: 804 miles to home. food: couscous & tofu pudding at macy’s flagstaff. music: the very best of the 5 royales. conditions: long invention & brainstorming session w/b as we head for the barn, pedal to metal. fog in kern county, blessed home.
-> home: overly tired, meltdown. today: tired but copacetic. happy new year. :)

merry christmas! & whoohoo!!!! let's celebrate the king (of rocknroll, that is) (some would disagree, but falalalalalalalala)... :) :)

the avalon is at 1735 vine st (at hollywood), LA CA, 90028. show starts 5:30 pm. proceeds benefit the firemen's fund. for more info, keep checking www.sofein.com ... i know we & manuel will be there, & many of art's friends, wonderful performers from famous to little-known... it will be great to hang out w/manuel & listen & watch as everyone remembers elvis!!!
packing for colorado... brrr.... merry christmas, happy hannukah, happy festivus, happy new year!!!! :) :) :)