"therrrrr goanna put me in the movies..."

no, not me, but someone the other night told james, "you could be a movie character!" he had just met karling's beau johnny tong & they were scrapping & circling around the parking lot like jets & sharks, if jets & sharks were fun-loving maniacs who talked trash & rumbled to entertain themselves & everyone around... james, johnny & karling ALL could be movie characters, i think. johnny is an unusual person for us to get to meet: an accomplished performer (magician in the sideshow tradition, featured on ripley's, for instance, sticking a snake up his nose), wingnut (firing up his eyes & laughing wildly to match james), & productive member of society somehow (he & karling do magic shows for children every morning!). "johnny is just so crazy & wild," she said, "people either get him or they don't -- they either love him or hate him!" i smiled; i do know this one. :)  her johnny, of whom we used to perform a song i didn't know was about HIM, is about our age but looks much younger -- he's chimpanzee strong & lean, & karling's lovelier than ever, i thought, seeming much happier. yes, they were so nice & fun to hang out with, a strikingly attractive match as i write reminding me of one time when art fein described seeing lux & ivy walking out of the movies in so-cal: "they cut quite a figure."
 i quit karling's band back in '12, when james's & my romance was in its initial roaring bonfire (now a steady, hearty hearth, thank you, good universe), but i've missed her & regretted having had to quit, hoping all along her new love & life were a comforting fit for her. there were parallels, i thought, between what happened romantically in her life & mine, so i'm very happy for her, & for me & james, too! :D
omnia vincit amor! ... et amor gignit amorem!
here are some pictures of my british friend & me as well as my handsome husband & his "new brother," who apparently is in the giant head club with james & me. (mom & dad always consoled me this way: "big head, big brain." since angie & karling have normal-sized heads but are both very intelligent, i don't know if i buy this, tho i appreciate the love behind the sentiment.) one thing i know: a big head, better seen from the back row, is the head of a performer, so i'm glad we have them! :D well, i'm nearly 47 years old today... good gravy! time to go get ready for visiting family.

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the blablabla never ends! how bout for you?
fat sparrows in tree! so cute! just got off phone w/a few ppl & while we spoke, i watched a black cat in the arroyo loll in the sun & survey the bushes as if he were king of the jungle. animals: heartening, fun, mysterious, & w/o the many problems that emanate from the "higher mind" of their homo sapiens brothers!
gotta get this place cleaned up & pack to head down the hill. the kern transit here runs to-from FP-bksfld, only $3.50 one way - a lot cheaper than driving! i'll walk about 1 mile down to the stop & board for this little adventure, which i've not taken for some months... yes, it's easy to glide into happy sloth, being semi-retired like i am these days... i try not to feel guilty, but instead be grateful. in this society, i believe these days i get to live a rather unusual existence: not working, living off savings, playing music, enjoying my life! i know, tho, i'm in this life-place because i've always been able to save my dough, thru gainful employment, long marriage to wealthy, hard-working husband which allowed me to further save my own monies, thrift taught us by our father, & lack of my own children... i so love kids, & at times have pangs of wishing my life were different, but then i remember how silly it is to "borrow trouble," as donna would tell me, suffering over what isn't, so i think i'll just enjoy this while it lasts & leave the guilt to someone who deserves to feel thusly, like the violent or liar or hater or greedy...
anyways, the elvis show was really fun, tho lower-key for me than usual because NO BLASTERS were there this yr! phil alvin's been recuperating (i hope). bill bateman showed up, tho, vulpine, grinning, grayed, just to hang out. when i looked at the lineup (over 40 acts!), to my slight dismay i saw the only folks who didn't show up were my friends james & manuel... i was looking fwd to seeing them both! oh well... introduced by art as "one of the best secrets in rock n roll" (!!!), we did a very "up" set as dusk devils, w/rockabilly-punk cutie (women swoon over him, tho he is happily married!... all i know is, sure doesn't hurt to have attractive ppl in a band!) AJ on doghouse bass & smiling stevo, looking like a baby fidel castro in hat & cigar, on drums... then we played a short set w/cutie-pie karling, in lovely black dress, & i REALLY enjoyed backing her. in fact, that's pt of the reason i felt less nervous this year, i think: playing w/more than just my act for some reason calmed me, & how nice it was to get such compliments afterward from people like skip edwards, russell scott, dave stuckey, ronnie mack... however, i was BLOWN AWAY that my "biggest fan" that eve was the amazing & gorgeous ruby friedman!, who ran up to me & announced herself to be that. ruby adores jerry lee lewis, so that might've been the appeal. she also told me, "you do your eyes like mine" (tho her eye makeup is more theda bara & glamorous than my smeared egyptian eyes), complimented my bangs repeatedly, & told me she'd been drinking (as are most ppl in that setting), so maybe she was being especially kind under the sweet sway of drink, but in any case, she was happy, droll, intelligent, & fun to gab with!... heck, beautiful ruby, amazing chanteuse of powerful pipes & passionate performance (she blew away "fever" & "hound dog" -- w/big mama lyrics, of course!), told me she wants to get together to play music, even!! art's eyes glimmered when i told him that & he smiled. "that's what i do," he said, yoking his hands. "i put ppl together." excellent, art, & thank you so much, if you're putting me together w/ppl like wonderful ruby! her passion onstage is nearly unbeatable, & her voice & star presence are unlike any female i can think of... i know many amazing frontwomen (candye, karling, becky), but ruby puts her whole body into the show; her soul blazes, palpable when she's onstage; she's like a "force of nature," i'd say, a whirlwind, a hurricane.
prone to hyperbole, i can write such a thing & know what i mean... :)
yes, to continue to gush, i'd say her voice is one of the best i've ever heard, & her compositions, tho they tend to make me plunge bc i'm overly-sensitive & that's why i stick to performing happy music, are complex & deep & very real... the eccentric talented supernovas i get to rub elbows w/ -- ruby & james, primarily -- remind me of a great quote from oscar wilde: "be yourself. everyone else is taken." ...
here's a pic bsp took before we post-show hit the road for bako. the ride over & back w/the paxtons & stevo was low-key, friendly, & fun -- what a thing for which to give thanks! :) the music is swirling, exciting, barnstorming drama enough; in the rest of life i'd prefer (tho i know it can't always happen) to have friendliness, gentleness, kindness, love, even tenderness... good day to you who may read this. :)

this friday! woohoo!

we will be redeemed!

pervading sense of unreality follows wondrous night of little sleep, glorious music and moonlight

(the above makes me miss writing headlines!!! in the online-publishing era, does "headline count" still exist?? i just don't know... it used to be sometimes irritating, but also fun wording headlines to puzzle together just so, working not just w/words, but even tighter -- w/picas, font sizes, & individual letters, which have different count depending on font & width...)
t.s. eliot: "it's strange that words are so inadequate. yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words..." feels like this whole blog is that way! my words are inadequate to capture what this precious & quixotic life feels like. are words that way for you??
so what a blessing it is to have such an outlet as this blog, fumbling tho my attempts may be to elucidate & enunciate mysteries of existence (ha!)... yes, what a blessing it is to write! & create! & feel! & love! & draw breath! (ok; that's enough...)
so back to earth: this house originally had 3 oaks on its property, beautiful old grandfathers, but when i moved here, only one remained, the others not just having been removed, but for some reason, their stumps painted blue. demented!... not just eviscerated, the trees were defaced, as if by some perverted arboreal undertaker!
the other day i returned from bakersfield feeling sick (as now seem to when returning from bako) & as i backed my truck up to the house so i wouldn't have to walk so far to unload, i glanced into the backyard &... tree #3 had fallen & was laying in pt on the house. yikes!! providence or fluke or the great pumpkin pitched the tree just enough away from the house so that it appears there's no roof damage, tho i've yet to confirm that... i know last night when i got home @ godforsaken-a.m., it rained like hell & this morn there are no leaks... could it be that a tree falls on the house & the house is not damaged? if so, wow!!
the tree looks like it committed suicide -- yanked itself from the earth, root & ball. no stump's even left to paint blue.
on the upside, i won't need firewood for winter! :)
well, was gonna write a bunch more, but am just too beat after the last few days... painful heel spur still holding me back from running; so grateful for this wk getting to make many amends & heal long-standing upsets w/others; so grateful to feel such love for & affinity w/other drunks, my brothers & sisters; helping sister move, & oh, how i love my little sister, who now owns her very own house, god love our parents!; driving driving driving, i'm always driving now; the beautiful rural rd from here to taft (on I-5! i didn't think there was one pretty inch on that strip!); the wild & amazing whiteboy james (who has the life force of 2 -- maybe 3 -- men & is the most blessedly, fierily talented crazy cutey demon i've ever met! a supernova!); his band's incredible show last night (oh, to have a band that tight! what heaven that must be!); our quite uneven but ultimately ok contribution to the show; steady crazy friendly rick, & phil, who, yes, is  wonderful, & what's so wrong about saying what's true?; some disturbing conflicts & hurt feelings w/in band; the velvety night, the hotel lights, the stars & moon, the long rd home; up late, writing a song, unable to sleep, abuzz buzz buzz... & today, following last night's downpour, this morn's perfect skies, robin's-egg blue, clouds, billowy-silvery, w/light quality so clean & gold, it nearly brought tears!
wow!!! a giant crash of thunder just boomed not so far from here, crashing like zeus's symphonic kettle drum, thumping the whole mountain!! more big storms today, looks like!
more good news: no trees on this property to be knocked down by storms!!!
wa-la! that's it for now! happy fin de semana to anyone reading this! :)

phil alvin is still the awesomest in the world, as are my friends, & i rest my case.

here's the url, if the above video's not there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM3X2fxf79o
i really like & often love inspired oddballs & crazies, tho will never make my life w/one & am working on not being one myself. am not perfect by a mile, but gimme a little richard, robert mitchum, jason williams, herzog, jerry lee, orson welles, bukowski, sterling hayden, timothy carey, a few "real" people i know, etc., any day over the conformist "good-looking" or "attractive" or "successful." insanity & creativity, there's a definite link, & maybe that's what grabs me. creative people, the ones who don't care what society says is "right," make this world! yes, they can be selfish & a**holish, but also i think they're brave, & moreover, movers & shakers (tho in the moment, they may just look nuts). w/o them, culture stagnates, reverts to dark ages. but one aspect of my ardor definitely worries me: someone told me today "we pick people whom we think we deserve" & further that someday my picker will fix & the crazies won't interest me anymore & i won't interest them bc i'll be too healthy & happy. i guess i have to be willing to get to this place, tho.
for now, give me phil alvin over any young "stud." at least phil's interesting to listen to. and boy, he puts on a heck of a show. not to mention the looks. that guy's made to be on the stage. (friends of phil may comment.)
tonight, i recognize how important in my life are these things: family, friends, students, job, & my band of friendly eccentrics. actually, my band members are a great balance of goofball odd ducks (well, randy doesn't seem so odd, but what a swell guy). not to mention that they are strong musicians & kind people.
am so lucky for so much, & that's where i need to keep my eye. re this slump i'm in, you should see the emails i keep getting. it's mind-blowing. in the tiniest way, i know how candye kane must've felt when she found out she had cancer & was flooded w/love & support. (candye is now healthy, thanks, i think, to all that love & a radical change in diet & atittude.) i can't say enough how much i appreciate anyone who's emailed or messaged me to tell me "it's gonna be ok." you are all angels, & i'll keep your correspondence always.