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grateful!!!

still alive! over the latest bad cold! sun is shining! not too sore! still sober! loved ones are healthy! my new job is swell! there is always a chance for better! life is good! these pix: my 57th bd with dear parents & sister; dear james with sister sherri in seattle; happy visit with funny aunt pam & my favorite uncle ralph near seattle; dear mrs lorenza hughes, santa rita nm native, my mentor teacher, a gentle & admired nonagenarian, with mom & dad at dwk luncheon; 94 yr old dolores huerta leads the crowd in cheers for madame president; my former student matthew, who as a little boy looked like john belushi-meets-pugsley, returns from army leave to visit his old teacher; daisy the hyper lovebug takes a nap in sherri's lovely washington home.

stompstompstompstomp

saturday at the doll hut, james was in highest form, a god on the stage, a superhero, an icon! he was a big whoaaaa. we made it back to kern county for easter with the family. we were home today on frazier mountain working on the house. i put up the patio again & took a little sauna. tomorrow school resumes. as does the music. now here we go! our combo renamed & restamped! i hear pour house has good food. yessss! we are going to stomp stomp stomp!!!

gettin close

we are going to NOLA in just a few days... wow!!!!

it's sat morn & the torrential rains have stopped, sun shining brightly, happily, cat rolling fatly in his window seat, james excitedly yapping as he watches cab calloway video & spouts stories about hanging out/being cab's assistant many years ago... heading to yoga, gonna walk, hoping hip/leg pain will abate... vacation has started & yesterday was wild & happy as the kids made hot cross buns, each going home w/little buns to bake.. james yelling with laughter, "look at his face, honey!" he's just tickled watching his idol on video, "that's how he looked
when i met him, honey!" (looks like a  handsome version of grandpa ralph, brown face, silver slicked back hair, bagged eyes, wide mouth, thin moustache)..."sh*t!" james mutters (he really despises critics, he says, which is funny to me bc he knows i've written critically, but he likes what i've written...)
james was in bakoland yesterday w/mom & dad & brought home from gail & bruce a 4 1/2 octave keyboard/synthesizer & some amps & it was so nice of them to give him those, but i still gotta figure out how to repair BOTH my full keyboards... last wk was james's happy 52nd bd wkend, w/beautiful lunch w/sister sherri & james jr & sunday bd in bakersfield, then at last wk's birthday gig down south  for james, the place was PACKED, just packed, people spilling out the doors, happy, drinking, dancing, crazy, & we thought my keyboard & amp had survived the roll-over crash in which the green hornet went to the great autoyard in the sky, but no, they did not. after just two songs, they died, & no combination of changing plugs, cords, inputs would revive them. so i watched the rest of the show from the back corner behind lambert & we went home & there were no fights, no arrests, no one got hurt, it was a good time even w/my disappointment of broken gear...
i'll worry about these repairs upon our return from NOLA.
NOLA!
i've only gone once, & this time will be so much better, happier, funner, wholesomer [sic]...
i'm going to NOLA with james!
here are some pix from krystal, who is quite a photographer...

can't move.

...more accurately, won't.
two trips in two days to bakoland & back. not much running of late because of extreme cold. (last night, penny & i made it out for 1 mile; it was 19 degrees! one miles was all we could do! it hurt to breathe!) beautiful now; i could be pounding the hills w/puppy. instead...
inertia has set in. torpor. doldrums. sloth. laziness. faineance. lifelessness. i feel like such a bum!!!
got dressed, tho. got hiking boots on. made food for james. watched w/him an old foreman fight. made flyer. wrote scores of of thank you cards that are months late. going to assemble new vacuum. going to... going to... ah, think i'll take a nap. here are flyers.

boswell made this one.

i made this one.

wednesday night!

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-last night i dreamed i called james, & my former mother-in-law answered. "i've been wondering when you were going to call me," she drawled accusingly. my heart lept into my throat w/panic & i hit the end button.
-i woke up with a start.
-this woman has been gone now several yrs, so i guess that part of my subconscious just purged.
- come see us tomorrow at shenanigans, if you'll be in the long beach, ca, usa, shoreline village area. we'll be on 7-11 pm. admission is free, it's all ages, & parking is only nine thousand dollars. unless you park at the next lot over, & then it's free.
-testing is nearly over. i told mom & dad how well my "low" class has been doing, really buckling down,  & dad sighed, "i'm always moved by how much there is to admire about children." i told them that i'm proud of them for trying so hard, the little dickenses, so i'll add dad's line to the reassuring patter...
-tomorrow before the show, james'll come to school to do marching & boot camp with the kids. being the most loud & verbally gifted person i've ever met, he of course used to lead his company (or whatever it's called) when it was time to call cadence. this was in the army some years back.
-i've been telling the kids about james a lot, like i used to do with mom & dad when they'd come visit school (easier for them when we all lived in the same town). the other day, we watched the blizzcon video he did for starcraft 2 video game. three or four who knew that old game gasped! i've told him he was in the army, a boxer, a freight-hopper... kids see through & know the real heart of a person. to them, james is a super hero, the dark knight, mister awesome.
-"is he gonna CUSS?" the boys asked excitedly...
-"oh, i dunno," i answer skeptically; "he could drop the 'f' bomb..."
-"yeah!" they yell. "mister page is COOL!!"
-"but probably not," i finish. "he's intelligent, so y'know that means he adjusts his behavior & speech around different people. like, you know, how you boys talk different to me than when you're around your buddies."
-"yeah," they chuckle, their smartness reinforced, "when we're around just the guys, we talk different."

a character & a man of true character

just saw this pic on fb & was compelled to post, moved by james's kindness & consideration. i've been sick, home from work, even, feeling awful physically. he told me, don't worry, honey, stay home, i'll go down & do the show [100 miles away]. so here he is, holding it down solo while i've sat at home all eve... what a brave & awesome performer. four hours all alone (tho backed most expertly by steve kida on drums) when he'd prepared for a combo show. because he did this, i won't be sicker tomorrow; i won't miss work again; & likely i might even feel well by the weekend... i know many people love whiteboy james, but many talk in rumors & innuendos about him. i love james so much, & so please know, if you didn't (but bet you did, if you know james) what you see here is the real man, the one who'd do anything for a loved one in need.

no yoga!!! aaaaah!!!!... and cool photos

photo by casey reagan

thought yoga teacher debbie was still in costa rica, didn't go. she's here. aaaaaaahhhh!!! i missed awesome saturday morning yoga at the library!!!! crap!!!!
just added a new free yoga channel on roku, so guess will do that today. and "run." i put that in quotes bc my pace has become snail-like after reading the book the world at my feet, a boring book about an amazing accomplishment: aussie guy my age or beyond runs AROUND THE WORLD using "attrition running" method, which means slowwwww & steady, the way ancient humans used to wear out prey. our physiology reflects this basic purpose, from steadying tendon behind skull (so we don't head-bob like a chicken when ambulating) to gigantic gluteus maximus (shock absorber) to arch of foot (same). i've been sometimes running w/my cheerful science teacher friend christy, who noted my BP & resting heart rate will drop if i will run more.
I LOVE TO RUN!!! I NEED TO DO THIS FOR MY HEALTH & HAPPINESS!!!!
anyways, we didn't go see gene & phil yesterday. james has been sick w/cold. so here are pix from last wkend's shows, which both were really awesome except oildale people AGAIN stole from james (time-before-last, his t-shirts; this time, his harmonicas), so next visit to oildale will likely bring major ass-whuppin' upon some rat coward thieves & disrespecters... except for the top, these great pix are from kaykay & krystal. i feature more pix of me bc this is my blog. top pic of james is one that casey r photoed: james is one super-photogenic awesome stud of a frontman. :)
oh! and now i can say: he & band (he says including me) will play at this year's bayou blues festival AND doheny blues festival. :) whoo-hooo!!!
one more fest is pending. more later. time to go "run." :)

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

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- i've been thinking a million things, so here are some: driving & crying the other day, home from kicka*s mfing fantastic show in seal beach, welled up w/sorrow listening to chuck berry tribute on kpfk, was thinking how one of my most favorite things to do in this life is to drive & listen to chuck berry. i wrote a song about it, in part, 20 years ago. chuck berry's music & driving have been an inextricable part of my life. so many emotions, so many feelings, so many memories... god bless chuck berry, even if he personally was a mfer. some of the most talented people on earth, i know, are more than part-crazy, & a big part of that can be mean as a junkyard dog. it all just goes together... then that night i dreamed i was married to manuel, my dear departed friend who played beautiful rockin chuck berry guitar, & god bless james, i told him about my dream & he gently quipped, "i dreamed i was married to manuel, too"... bloodshot bill posted on facebook a CB pic he'd cut out of a library book & hung on his wall when he was young and... I CUT THE SAME PIC OUT OF A LIBRARY BOOK & HUNG IT ON MY WALL WHEN I WAS YOUNG!!! (it's still up there, in fact!)... so i watched one of bb's more recent videos in which he plays w/a band instead of just himself (no lewd joke there; that's been his wild shtick) & there were too many bodies on the stage; it was unnecessary; but i still dig his charlie feathers/hasil adkins vocals, even if mister page says they're contrived. to contrive to sound like those cats is universes cooler than the contrived vocals many other musicians bleet & blah. it's like "girl" singers who ape wanda jackson or janis martin or "girl" scenesters who ape bettie page: just about who on earth is cooler to imitate than them??? i wonder when "girls" will start trying to be like sister rosetta or big mama or poison ivy?... then suddenly on kpfk came the most horrible, putrid, lame-a*s version of "come on." i began to scream; in my rage, i nearly wrecked my car!!! it felt like my ears had been hit by a dumptruck of sh*t!! simpering, whining sh*t!!!! turns out this "come on" cover had been the rolling stones' 1st single, & i knew in that very moment why james has always despised the rolling stones... their version of "come on" was SO, SO, SO, SO BAD!!!!!
- the brit invasion bringing american music back into the world was not just ironic, but a catch-22: ironic cause they loved & still love our music more than we do, catch-22 bc back in the early 60s, new audiences were being exposed to our wonderful american music via lame, flaccid, face-bashingly bad covers! had the stones' version of "come on" been released 10-15 years later, i like to picture, american music purists would have stomped the crap out of mick & the stones & all others who did injustice to the CB catalog!!
- i calmed myself; the terrible cover ended; kpfk played some more great chuck cuts.. then, just like that, like projectile vomiting, ELO's "roll over beethoven" came on... WHY HAS NO ONE KILLED THEM FOR PUTTING THIS OUT?!?!?! WHY DID CHUCK BERRY NOT GET A TRUCKLOAD OF DYNAMITE & TAKE OUT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM?!?!? i am married to someone who once pelted in the mug w/a grapefruit a certain phony pop-rockabilly icon, right in the middle of the icon's big fancy stage show (& then was removed, laughing hysterically, by bouncers, who "beat the sh*t" out of him while he continued to laugh maniacally)... and that rockabilly icon, phony as he may be, at least had the decency not to desecrate a chuck berry song by releasing it as a single... Editi used to think ELO were merely innocuous, but now i know: ELO & all like them  who re-record our great american music with evil intention of "improving" upon it must be stopped... STOP THEM BEFORE THEY RECORD!!!! CHAIN THEM!! KICK THEM REPEATEDLY!!! SEND THEM TO THE CORNFIELD!!!
- this week, w/great music on my mind so much, i flashed on this dunce i was involved with in a 2-year mistake that saved a place for james. this genius used to say things like, "you're just judgmental. i like ALL styles of music because I'M open-minded" (this from the most judgmental person i had ever met). then the person would talk about the one gig he did in his entire life, in which he of course named the band after himself (it was most likely just a set, not an entire gig)... but i know that, rather than me being "small-minded,"i have good taste, i know what i like, & he was & probably still is a do-nothing turd. james & i know what's good!!! we will not budge on what is good!!!!! life is too short to listen to bad music!!!!!!
- oh, it has been such a long week already... i think i'm kinda delirious...
- we are supposed to go see the gene taylor trio on friday; i can't wait! gene posted a vid of himself  playing, & his hand position is so perfect, so loose yet firm; he can play every run with perfect ease & groove; his attack is so solid, so friendly, so rockin... phil alvin will be joining the trio. james & i will, i hope, have a swell old time. and if that combo pays tribute to chuck berry with a song, i know one thing: it will honor the king of rock'n'roll. it will be worthy....
just realized i forgot the pix. i'll put them up another time... gnite.

shhhhhnow!

- now i know why james's childhood friend lisa, a very successful reality-tv producer, opted NOT to  create a reality show based on james. i read this article in the NYer (my fave mag, yknow, cause i get free copies & can read & read & read for hours & hours, plus the cartoons are great). the article was about a female reality-tv producer, likely someone lisa knows bc the article's subject was a co-producer on one of lisa's shows, the bachelorette. the business sounds soul-sucking, requiring one to resort to calculating, brutal, immoral tactics. lisa said at the time, i can't subject james to that. the article's subject (no, i don't remember her name) eventually quit & produced a parody of the reality-tv biz, the name of which i can't remember, either. ah-so.
this comes up bc this pic came from the cartoon part of the "pitch" i created for lisa for james's prospective show. i used the image for tomorrow's music show at shenanigan's.
- we celebrated an anniversary, kind of, on jan 8, what would've been elvis's 85th birthday. jan 8 2010 was the first time i saw james in the flesh. he remembers me as having birds & flowers tweeting & flying around my head, like snow white, he says, & an entourage of guys flocking around me, he likes to say. and that's the eve he told his former guitar player, "i'm gonna marry that girl." wow! i remember a tough-looking boy-man with large forehead & determined, fixed gaze who tho bald & obviously middle-aged was boisterously friendly & cute as a big kid. then he kept laying kisses on me, & tho wet, they were very romantic, not lecherous. i'd never had anyone do that! i was wobbling, confused, seeing stars as my former guitar player & i got in his car to drive off & he said, "i think someone LIIIKES you!" here are some pix from jan 8 2017, in front of the gias' beautiful door, & one from later that day at o'henning's in bakersfield/ oildale, where james played some & i got up to sing one w/him. we'll be there this sunday, too, to support kaykay, after saturday's show at shenanigan's, where i'll be bass for the day. with steve at his place in hawaii right now, i'm looking fwd to seeing little anthony & playing some music. old fart who don't like me, be danged. ha!
ok, so to be more linear, here's where we'll be:
-fri, snowed in, no blasters show in ventura
-sat, shenanigan's, LBC, 2-6 pm
-sun, o'hennings, oildale/bakersfield, kaykay jagger benefit, 3 pm

the snow is doing 100 different dances outside,  & here is what i posted on facebook. bye for now. :)

Snow day! Originally we were on 2 hr school delay, & in a moment of miracle, our bad cat sat in my lap (only the 2nd time he's done this) & went to sleep as I drank my morn coffee & admired the (then) light snowfall. Now it's really coming down: lovely! Yesterday at school, the kids were lunatics toward end of day!! What is going on with you guys?!? I implored. We're gonna have a snow day tomorrow!! they cheered. How can you tell? I said. We just know! the little barometers cried. But the snow bunnies! they whined. We don't want them to come up here! They make a mess & we cant go anywhere!! Yes, on NY Day, get this: an estimated 168,000 people came up to this mountain to see the snow. 168,000!!!! The entire greater mtn population is less than 15,000! In attempt to better regulate things, signs coming up the mountain now read Chains Required & 2 Hours to Snow Play. It was taking 2 to 4 hours on NY to drive 15 miles! Tons & tons of garbage, too, were left by the roadsides. I hope this time will be better! 

so anyways...

i have to go to the bathroom, but the cat is on my lap. he looks up at me with trusting green orbs, blinks, puts a soft paw on my arm. dang it. i have to go to the bathroom!
we had such a great time in swellay. actually hollywood. i'll have to post more later.
oh good: kitty just remembered he really is a wild, only-semi-domesticated beast & swiped at me with claw. off the lap, beast!
now i can meet nature's call...
here's a poster i made for saturday night. i'm gonna play on this show.
ahhhh.... vacation: leisure time! i like it. :)
may your holidays be filled with love & not too much internal conflict as you reconcile breaking bread w/dear ones in commemoration of a genocide... i choose instead to focus on the fam!

dang! blablabla, & many exclamation points!!!!

- for my first xmas list item, i request the book "moanin' at midnight," about the howlin' wolf, by james segrest & mark hoffman. STILL reading it!!! every a.m. before school, i drink 18 cups of coffee & eat pb toast & read about 5 pages, if i'm lucky & have the time before heading to work. i love this book more than any i've recently read, not just cause the wolf was an inimitable awesome bada*s & an enormously manly hunk. a few yrs back, the wonderful san diego-based musician billy watson spotted james & enthused, "it's the modern-day howlin' wolf!" and we both were so, so flattered since billy's not just a sprightly, talented musical dynamo,  but a good-natured man of great sincerity, so he wasn't just blowing smoke up our cans.

- reading this book, i realize, yes! more & more, on each page, it DOES sound like james, from  personality, stage style, & treatment of other musicians to the arc of his life, specifically how domesticity calmed & settled him, gave him peace. wild! i give james reports as i read, telling him he needs to read it when i finish, but i've had it a long, long time from the library here, so mebbe i just need my own copy. yes, that'll be it. this book's a definite keeper-for-life!

- the clincher is, in the back, segrest & hoffman have a discography that -- thank you, jeebus! -- lists all the sessions & all the personnel. yay! so when i hear piano i like, i can go look see who it is. hurrah!

- i write "dang" cause the book online's too expensive for me to want to spring for right now. when i get my 1st check, other things'll be priority: getting the 2-story-high east windows washed; getting our chariots fully serviced & maybe new paint for the green hornet; getting the septic tank dumped. yes, there's no real plumbing up here, nor cable, but what a place to live! the smoke's clearing from  the so-cal fires (i say optimistically) & the weather's cooling w/autumn's arrival... so nice! so breezy! so lovely!

- oh, school is kicking my butt, but what a terrific assignment i have! am very much overdoing it having added fine arts & library to my teaching plate, but i can do it! i know i can! just got a piano in my classroom so now have access to three (classroom, art rm, music rm)! three pianos! three old friends! my students are so cute, being 6th graders w/yet no touches of adolescent rebellion. "we have to be nice to this piano," i told them. "we have to take care of it. it's like having a beloved pet, an old elephant or an old dog in the room." & they all nodded in agreement, buying in to the niceness & special situation: having their own old piano. :) 

- james has come through just like he said he would, taking care of the house by day while i work. thank you so much!!! he tells me, "i'm so lucky, i married the hottest woman in the world!" and i say, "oh, me with my gray hair? no way!" and he replies, "no, baby, i had no idea! you're not just [physical compliments] & talented & smart & sweet, you're a powerhouse! i've never gotten to see you fully in action til now [that i'm teaching]!"

- how many people would even notice something like this? i was touched & happy. we've both taken action to get our neurochemicals properly balanced, & he says, "i had no idea; you've been dragging me along! we're both doing great right now, & i want to show you what i can do!" i think his show today, my 1st out of the band (waaaah!), is gonna be a killer. he posted this flyer i made some months back to advertise today's event, & people are spreading it like the cliched wildfire. no other so-cal musician is as iconic as james!

- yes, the buzz is high for this show: i'm sad i won't be there & i will really miss playing w/anthony & steve, but i'm so happy james likely will play to a packed house! tonight he's gonna jump on with pink's "monster show" at harvelle's, too: he likes pink bc the man is a strong frontman, like james, but also eccentric, theatrical, w/odd sense of humor, like james. 

here's the flyer and details for today/tonight's two shows: Come see Whiteboy James 2pm - 6pm  Sat. Sept. 3rd at - All Sports, 7132 Garden Grove Blvd, Westminster, CA 92683; and 2 for 1 Tickets!!! Wild Fun Labor Day Weekend Party! Saturday night blowout at Harvelles lbc Live Rockin Blues & Burlesque with Dennis Jones, Billy Watson, Chris Smith, Kip Dabbs, WhiteBoy James, Mike Arguello **LABOR DAY WEEKEND PROMO CODE: LABORDAY16 to get 2 for 1 tickets for Saturdays Show! tixz www.harvelles.com

- ok, now back to reading for me, then it's time to practice flute, then head to the smoggiest, hottest town around to visit my beautiful family!! may you have a good book & good movement. take that how you will. :)
(oh, crap, i forgot why originally i blogged! having to learn new instruments is daunting, but i found a whole youtube series, masterfully assembled by the us army field band. whether you're a music teacher or musician trying to improve chops & technique, these videos should be vital! what a treasure trove!  enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/user/USArmyFieldBand ) 

this weekend

friday all will say goodbye to manuel gonzales, or "big manny," our friend departed. here are details:
viewing - noon to 2 pm, funeral & burial, 2-3 pm, home of peace memorial park mortuary, 4334 whittier blvd, whittier ca; potluck reception for family & friends, vfw hall post 1944, 4-8 pm,  16157 e. gale, city of industry, ca.
i made this so i will remember always his face & person the way i remember him. there's a beautiful pic of him & james on this blog if you go back to april 2016, but i -- perhaps selfishly -- just put the ones here where i'm posed with him.
saturday will be the following: Come See Whiteboy James - Sat. Aug. 13th
WHERE: Shenanigans Irish Pub & Grille
423 Shoreline Village Drive
Long Beach, CA 90802
USA 8 PM-11:55 PM
COST: Free
CONTACT:
562-437-3734

the following saturday, we'll play here in town at sue's tavern, & after that, james will have me replaced with an electric bass & i'll just play with his band wherever i have the energy (& when he wants me, of course). the kids will be back in class

& i again will be a public school teacher.

larry r.i.p.

a long time ago, many life chapters ago, i had a younger boyfriend & his best friend was named larry. larry's name around town with some was "scary larry" bc he had the most morbid taste you could imagine in that pre-internet era! hanging out with larry & friends meant a night of very heavy drinking, maybe some psychedelics, listening to records, & watching disturbing videos, some i wish to this day i could erase from my memory, but much that were so cool, like john waters & russ meyer films... always, always we listened to the cramps. we worshipped the cramps! we all still do, living or dead! shantell -- the tough-looking gal with the soulful gaze & sweet friendly voice, bakersfield punk rock drummer, underground dj, & lifelong dear friend of larry's -- wrote that now larry's in heaven with lux. i hope so. i hope they all are there, all the ones who ravaged themselves to death with booze & drugs & loneliness & wild &/or long nights too many... i was turned on to so much fantastic outsider americana/punk at this time, being around larry, from hasil adkins to the legendary stardust cowboy & esquerita, screamin' jay hawkins, the gun club, the mummies, real rockabilly (not the polished pop barf variety, but the sincere but tough unwashed no-BS raw kind)... the list goes on & on...
larry elected to become a mortician & his school death mask, i remember, was of ed gein. it was quite artfully wrought, of course, for in my experience, the most creative people are not just tortured into self-loathing or insanity in some ways, they're also the most highly talented in many ways, being probably more touched by the divine, maybe icarus-like closer to the sun tho they may not even realize it, to the eternal flames, to immortality that conversely brings rushed mortality... i am rambling because i am sad.
we were in the motel the night before roadshow revival when i learned larry had died. earlier in the day we'd rushed to RSR to see our favorite band, our hero, james's life-long friend & mentor & my teenaged-thru-age-40+ object of adoration & lust & were shocked to tears by what we saw... the musician lifestyle is ravenous, just devastating to healthy longevity; so sad, tragic, heartbreaking, whatever you want to call it that the brightest, most bursting talents end up crashing so hard (see above)... so i already was pretty depressed when learned about larry.
i always knew larry was a loving, sweet guy under all the dark interests. but turns out the morbidity that turned him toward the profession of mortician, along with his love of outsiders, created a champion who was brave & determined to help when people lost their loved ones. story after story told of larry caring for the grieving, going the extra distance to help loved ones at their saddest moments. he didn't just dress corpses, but made sure people could say goodbye to their girlfriends, parents, & other loved ones in the most dignified, protected manner... in other words, i found out my friend "scary larry" was in some ways a saint.
then i found out he had "drank himself to death," & the floor fell away.
alcohol is a demon. i really believe it should be outlawed, except then it just would go underground & still would be used, would even thrive in use. we who have the itch, who cannot steadily be in the flow of g.o.d., want what we cannot have & that want often is for something ruinous. again, i think that's bc the craving for the divine turns in the wrong direction & becomes a craven lust, tho most anyone would laugh if i told them that in that way, so i'm writing it instead... were i fundamentalist, i think i'd describe it as god vs the devil, the almighty struggle for our souls, but that implies we're puppets instead of beings with free will, but then again sometimes the simplicity of the religious story (i don't mean that disparagingly) makes a lot of sense to me, efficiently eliminating the gray, like when i'm really sad...
yes, alcohol is demon, destroyer of families, ultimately a foul tidal wave drowning love, self-respect, lives, soul. if you mess with this nasty, filthy drug, be warned: it might kill you & devastate everyone who loves you. now don't think, please, if i see you drinking that i will condemn you: no. you are the only one who knows if you take a drink, the drink takes you. if that's the case, STOP! if it's not, continue drinking. have fun! i guess some do, tho that's not the case for me, nor too many people i have loved who no longer live because they just wanted to drink, not realizing there was no case of want: they HAD to drink.
one of the biggest blessings of the fact that i had to stop my alcoholic drinking on july 4, 1995 is that i have not broken my mother's heart since then. i've had sad things happen, have made stupid decisions, have made her worry, but break her heart? no longer. i am so grateful for that...
++++++++++++
james shocked the crap out of everyone who saw him at RSR: the human comet named james hit that stage & blew it to bits! afterward, full bore, he continued to whirl & smash his way around the grounds until he went out like a firework. he's in rest period right now, but the show advertised on this poster i made this morning is happening saturday, & he'll be back at his powerful full-steam by then, so i hope you'll go.
now back to teaching duties, for i am going back into the classroom come august, i do believe. i am creative, but i am not one of The Creatives. therefore i suffer, have artistic & emotional angsts [sic], but basically am a mere workingman kind of artist, a crazy pragmatist, salieri to the mozarts around me.... ok, whatever: better stop writing now because i'm boring myself. please come to the show, if you can!

haircut minus shave = one bit?

james is so photogenic! if i'd grown up with him & paid attention, i might be even a hair as physically charming. he's said repeatedly his high school drama teacher was key in teaching him how to move & use his corpus & especially his face in the most compelling, actorly manner (interpretation mine, of course)... tho training or not, his charisma is not just alluring, but highly unusual! most of us humans are not so dynamic, never will be no matter how much practice, nor can be ready at all times for close-up!
he's a cool cat, my husband. we each have our merits, of course, but i prefer his since they seem to be much more inherent & interesting than mine...

i'm vain, yes,  & terrified on some level of my aging human suit, but deep down i'm most  interested in being the best piano player possible. my mouth may express the contrary, especially around my husband, who is kindly patient in his reassurances. fundamentally, tho, i know the music is more important than my aging face. - also that this, too, shall pass. lastly, realistically, i can't invoke a ban on all photos in which the lighting is bad or in which i'm not smiling (these add 10 years)... and i'm sure not gonna stop playing just cause i'm no longer cute!

these photos came out cool, taken by long-time huge james fan alice diaz... thank you, alice!
will keep the long hair while we are in san francisco this next week... then the hippie locks must go! i had no idea i looked like an old hippie... weird! that's always been quite far from my mind, tho like any sane sentient being, i do believe in peace & love...
the beautiful bakersfield awards are this saturday. brother doug bennett, "a cross between mother teresa & p.t. barnum," is up for an award for his humanitarian work & ministry aiding persons who are being trafficked. (it is called magdalene hope, if you want to look it up.) hope that he wins, but having been nominated yrs ago when i had my underground paper, i know the voting is highly political! (actually, i didn't deserve to win that year: the award went to the kid who does the christmas lights event, 13 yrs later an annual beloved yuletide event at bakersfield's california living museum, aka CALM.)
i haven't been to SF since i finished my MA at the defunct, worthwhile new college in the mission... not any trips i really remember, that is! james & i are anticipating having huge fun. he deserves it! i believe i might, too.
sacre bleu! carpe diem! stay sick, turn blue! hail hail rock & roll! have a nice wan.

swinging like a pendulum, walking down the aisle...

A big weekend ahead for us! Hope you'll come to one or more of our shows. Thursday: The Whiteboy and Jenny Combo at Oasis, Taft, CA, 6 pm; Saturday, Jenny gets to play with J&J's great friend Big Manny and his Big Manny Band at Redwood Room, LA; Saturday night is Whiteboy James and the Blues Express at Forbidden City, Long Beach, CA. Go to www.whiteboyjames.com for times and details for all shows that feature Whiteboy James smile emotico

molto transpirations & mental emissions

1) a great show you shouldn't miss if you're nearby!

1) here's the first, a show just added for thursday with some of our favorite friends in taft, ca. if you're nearby, stop by!
2) next is this terrific photo of mister handsome from line nine blues review, the fellows who host the thursday blues shows at cirivello's in LBC where james played his 50th bd show. tho the pic's on facebook already, i place it here bc it's such a good shot of dashing james, also featuring my friends steve & antknee. :) whether it's blake or lambert or anyone else on bass, i'm happy since all the bassists i've met of james's have been good fellows.
lastly, i went to the video store here (yes! we have one! an advantage of living in a dinky town) & i just commented that i was thirsty & the nice owner tammy gave me a bottle of water! as i left, the heavyset owner of the local yummylicious pizza parlor waved hello. i love this little town! but then as i drove by our 2nd driveway (our property is long and has two), my heart sank.

this small creature was on the far driveway when I got home. it didn't appear to have been hit by car or injured & still had grass blades in its mouth. I moved the beautiful animal to the mound in our yard & decorated the funeral area. this pic is so I can remember how pretty it is right now in deathly repose, before it returns to the earth. jny

2) he's just so dang handsome... wow!

3) requiescat en pace, bellus lupus.

wheeeee!!!

valentine's day