Thursday, December 30, 2010

honoring the king as well as the king & queen of rocknroll music

every yr i'm so amazed art keeps asking us back to this fantastic show... this yr, i asked him if he had any requests. "well," he replied, "no one's ever done ready teddy. or long tall sally. or tutti frutti." his next email read, "and certainly not ever has anyone done them as a medley." my heart flipped & i took the hint. what a task!!: to not just honor the king of rocknroll, but to put on the mantle of the one & only mister penniman, self-proclaimed king AND queen of rocknroll!... i don't know how well we'll ape, but good heavens, we'll sure have our fun singing & playing those tunes!! in fact, everyone that night will have fun -- even if we fall off the stage, totally crash & burn, we'll be but a tiny grinning, swinging part & the show will go on & all will have fun! happy upcoming birthday to elvis, on the heels of baby new year...

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

gud jul & L7 over x in the snow: true love is the devil's crowbar; he hung me with the endless rope; you will always subtract your arms from my arms

-> (sometimes on here stuff seems sort of in code, to protect people's privacies, not to deliberately obfuscate, but i recently heard the latter's how it can come off, so if you don't know it, the above translates as "happy new year from frazier park," followed by lyrics from the terrific LA '80s punk-roots-art band X, who wrote a lot about the world's social injustice, but also about love-torture. the heart IS a lonely hunter. and often wounded & hungry, too.)
-> my former future-ex-husband (i've given up) phil alvin will serve as master of ceremonies for the gene taylor blues band's new yr's eve show this friday nite at LA's redwood room. gene'll be backed by the original blasters, for pete's sake. here's an article about this going-to-be-incredibly-awesome show, at which i will not be. yeah, should just kill myself & get it over with, but've been doing this spiritual practice lately, yknow, so just won't... plus (it IS some consolation, tho gene'll be back in belgium by then) will get to see most of these fellas @ the elvis birthday bash, art fein's annual super shindig, art fein of hollywood, that is, our manager in name, man about tinseltown, gadfly, scribe, hopeful malcontent w/love of music so fervent, bet it overrides his hatred of sloppy language (don't read this, @), art whose green corduroy jacket i finally shall return in hope-not-too-dog-haired & wrinkled condition...
-> lately my thing is to miss it all, like a bizarro world art. for instance, a blasphemy: x played the other night @ the crystal palace, but in my bones i knew i just had to get home to the mtns, so no estaba.
-> my sister reported they played the entire los angeles album, then at least 3-4 songs from every other. after i finished throwing up, i got back on the phone. "billy zoom looked perfect," she cooed, "& afterward john doe & exene were out in the lobby signing autographs but i couldn't go up to him!! i was too scared!!" i recalled to her 1st time mtg phil alvin being that way, shaking like the leaves on the trees... brian p, good guy, grabbed me & pushed me up to phil, who kissed my hand & recited a poem. bp took pix; in them, i look like maybe i just had a fit, sort of spacy & goony. wish i'd been @ x cause would've done the same for my sis, shoved her up there so she'd have a photo memento.
-> what else? candye kane's & tom yearsley's party. that'll be a super gas. a SUPER GAS!! and I WAS INVITED!! (me & 1,000 others, that is.) then there's another party in simi valley where was told i even could sit in, but they'll be playing '80s & the friend who invited me & even is playing it is not excited about it... 3 musical event possiblities... i mean, jeez.
-> what's wrong w/me?!? such a stick in the mud. we only live once, right? but lately am in a space where 1) my spirit's doing well; 2) therefore don't have thoughts of head in oven; & 3) wanna keep it that way. really, something about the music just makes me come unhinged. can't do halfway: it's love or barf! that's fine when close to home so a person can slip out, or is surrounded by brothers & sisters so can come down safely. but all the aforementioned events'll be in the southland. that leaves me alone after the ball drops & therefore maybe headed for lonesome town & maybe even dangerland. so trying to be wise, this hermit's gonna miss it all this auld lang syne. but will hope to see the ball drop, anyhow, at some cozy place, & usher in 2011 soberly... be you sober or not, @ 12 am on jan 1, may you be safe & happy.
-> prudence, wisdom, chickenness? feh. no se importa. why'd i even write all this? maybe you face similar indecision, worry about being uncool, missing out, life leaving you behind. but how can we be cool if we're dead? the health of one's soul must come first. then fun, then coolness, then kicks. as a person i know says, "i have spoken."
-> drew a full house @ the goodwill recently, picking up john doe's roadside prophets, juke logan, & exene's old wives tales on cassette - 25 cents each! so happy for my antiquated av gear, which allows such deals. yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! feliz ano nuevo!! so for 2011, here's some x lyrics:
-> absence makes the heart grow fonder / so i never want to see you again / i'm wrecking the kitchen carefully / but i'm keeping your dinner warm...
... as well as their sort of new year's song:
-> year one little babies, year one on their tvs, no a.d. b.c. a.d. patriotic people sleep in washington d.c., waiting waiting waiting, they don't feel a thing, no dolls no debutantes, no desperate living class, no roman catholic mass, no magazines no tv, no r.c.a. no g.e., year one in our history, year one in society, they're waiting for the son, for any son to come, year one you're on, i'm one
(in fine: brilliant niece on the world ending in 2012; read this imagining a teenage voice dripping w/sarcasm: "the mayan calendar is a circle. assuming a circle has a beginning OR end, which it does NOT, people, what would you do when it ends? YOU START OVER. i imagine if the ancient mayans hadn't been wiped out, they'd've made a new calendar starting at 2012... but there ARE NO ANCIENT MAYANS ANYMORE. and IT'S A CIRCLE, PEOPLE!")

Monday, December 27, 2010


in the old days, the word "blessed" or anything resembling it would've made me puke. but over the holidays, i rented my house thru the site airb&b, & i do feel blessed w/the way things went down.
"strangers? aren't you worried they might trash your house?" an aunt of mine asked. no, i wasn't; i was forthright in describing my house: nothing fancy, but w/beautiful vws & wonderful other perks, i feel, that wouldn't appeal to insincere ppl, mebbe. no real amenities except star-gazing, hiking, mountains, clean air, fireplace, cozy cabin-like ambience, etc. i sensed anyone who'd choose my place would appreciate it as a humble & friendly place... or maybe i'd be wrong & they'd trash it. we'd see how it would go, but i had a feeling all would be ok.
never realized how messy my place was til a young family reserved it for christmas. yipes!! i started scrubbing. for 3 days. :) then a darling young girl & her cute, bubbly mom showed up @ the door. their story sounded sadly too-typical of what's up today in the usa: dad lost job, family had to separate for economic reasons, mom & daughter stay w/grandma while mom finishes school, dad lives in entirely separate town. a young family wrenched apart. "i've been looking for a place i could afford so we could all be together for the holidays," smiled mom. "i'm so grateful; i can't even tell you!" she enthused in 10 different ways how much she loved my house & hugged her little girl. "she's been so brave," she said. the little girl smiled & hugged me when i left. "have fun, sweety!" i said. my heart swelled & i sniffled & smiled w/gratitude down the hill to bako. what a christmas, to be renting my place so that i might have a little dough, but then for THIS family to get to be together bc of it!
then someone i know asked, "did you meet the father?" no, replied i.
worry temporarily set in. what if he's just out of prison, unrepentant? outlaw biker? mean drunk? what if mom & girl were just waiting for me to leave so they could bring in bad papa?
good sense returned. bah - nonsense. as mama said, "it's CHRISTMAS!" (this translates as, "all are welcome, we love everyone, we trust everyone." this is sort of mama's credo all the time, tho.)
my christmas was even better than i'd thought it could be. astoundingly nice. & yesterday i called the dad to give all the heads-up i'd be coming home that next day. a humble voice answered; w/in secs i knew there'd been no need for worry. "we are so blessed to have been able to stay together in your house for the holidays." how was your christmas? i asked. great, he said. "& it was the neatest thing. we were having dinner & looking out the window & it started to snow." snow at christmas for a family reunited, a little girl surrounded by loving mom & dad. i ran sniffling & smiling w/gratitude to my beaming family, all of us wondering @ the christmasy spirit of the whole thing.
today i got home. the daughter was waiting in the window & when i pulled up, she jumped off the couch. the family came right out: beautiful, beaming mom, handsome, clear-eyed dad, smiling child, doggies. we chatted for a few minutes. they smiled & enthused about what a wonderful time they'd had. i went in my house, so happy to be home. they'd left me a huge, cheerful bouquet of flowers, a box of cookies, food in the fridge, a handwritten note & a beautiful card from all containing words like "magical," "amazing," "enchanting," "cozy," & "wonderful." THEY thanked ME. my heart sang, as would yours, i'd think! i sniffled & smiled w/gratitude, then called & told mama & wrote about it here bc i must not ever forget this! don't know why such a nice experience happened to me, but it did, & all i can say is i feel so happy to have had this house that allowed that young family to be together & have such a nice time.
& i do feel blessed; there's not really another word i can think of that better describes it.
happy, happy holidays. :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

happy holidays!!!!

click here to read "a christmas carol," only 1 of dickens's holiday stories, but the greatest novella ever, i think, aside from "dr jekyll and mr hyde," that is! hope any who might read this are fed, warm, & happy -- as well as the millions of our brethren who won't ever read this!!
imagine a world where all are fed, warm, & happy. what would life be like then? may we be well. may our fellow humans be well. may your days be merry & bright.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

post 500: mister awesome tickles the ivories, rides & swings the B&W rails this new yrs eve!!!!

oh, what can i say about mister awesome, who gave me a piano lesson at a friend's hollywood apt several yrs back, except WOW? was supposed to go down to harvelle's last night to see gene, backed by original blasters minus professor phil... a storm hit!!! the weather was a-blowing and colld, colld, colld - "not fit for maaan or beast!" i made it in the house, freezing like a drowned rat, made it in thru the door & slammed it shut and... the place was so cozy, so christmasy, while outside blustered, sleeted, winds on the way up the grapevine @ 40mph...
i stayed in. the storm never ended. then blasters fan #1 lisa carin emailed today & said the band played 2 sets last night & it was beyond awesome... telling of my mind-state today, i feel not like i wanna put my head in an oven @ that happy news, but happy for all who got to witness it & excited about new yr's eve!, when gene & co play the final american show for this yr, @ the BELLY UP of all places! close to candye, freddie & bill, beach, temperate climate, & blazers memories (see link below for gene's schedule)... speaking of blazers, manuel/big manny's on tour in tx right now w/life-long buddy ruben (tho they no longer play together, for the most pt) doing the big manny christmas album! i hope they're having a swell time together... they've known each other over 40 yrs! they speak music & marx bros & more! so delighted manuel & ruben are together for this yuletide...
the gray matter is radiating calm happiness right now. hope you who read be experiencing this, too. :) to be not just still alive, but in a cozy mountain shelter w/music, visitors, food, things to read, some dough, able body & mostly cooperating coconut, friendships, love, & 2nd chances... well, what's there to be sad about? your particulars might be a bit different, but if you're with me, well, let's give thanks. happy christmas week to all. :)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

el mero mero

these guys were even cooler than i thought they'd be... take a look! they sound exactly like the ramones -- a really tight, powerful, faithful tribute! the incongruity of look w/sound is the initial conceit -- but the music itself is very well-done & huge fun!
they had a xmas CD for sale -- rick & phil, good eggs, bought copies & then LR had phil supply the "gabba gabba hey" during "pinhead." watching phil the rockabilly boy scout thrashing around w/these mugs, ultra-cool in their mexican red-white-&-green, black stetsons, & drunken-tio beards & mullets, was such a kick! it made me restless, tho, like i get, never wanting to play any slow songs ever again, wanting to get hold of shantell to do that all-girl cramps tribute we've been talking about for yrs... slow songs: yech!!! LR was nice afterwards; they're east-LAers, so i had to ask if anyone knew manuel, & one recalled from when "i was a little kid," hanging out @ an east-side record store where the older guys would jam. "those guys were our heroes," he said. i feel dumb cause i can't remember which ramon this was... oh well. i'm sure we'll see them again. :)
"what a great double-bill!" enthused steve price, who showed up w/truly elvis-worthy mutton chops... pizza-slices were faithfully NY-style, our set was fun (tho i couldn't hear the keyboard) (scotty did "lovesick blues" for the 1stx on stage & it came out cool!), & david & nancy were the best, friendliest hosts!... dusk devils love rocknroll pizza, worth a visit if you're traveling anytime down topanga cyn between the 118 & 101, right across from the mammoth shopping mall... in a day of karaoke, sports bars, top 40 & cover bands who eat up all the paying gigs, & general indifference, people who are so faithful to live rocknroll music, like the redballs folks, deserve support & gratitude!!!
long live rocknroll. long live rocknroll pizza!

Friday, December 10, 2010

spread the bird, bird, bird is the word...

- presented here's the devo-evo-lution of our R&R pizza show flyers, courtesy of creative gourmand david vieira: note that the devil-chick show is tomorrow. yay!!! :)
- on another note, boogie-woogie king gene taylor's here from belgium! catch him before he goes home: click on "tour," then scroll down to GT blues band
- wonder if he'll pop up @ the elvis show again? 1x, 2 yrs ago, was enough for this heart: i nearly plotzed in a died-&-gone-to-heaven moment. i mean, all that talent, then gene walks in unexpectedly?? my lord!!
- as is, @ elvis show we're on bill w/not just a cast of thousands, but candye, karling, AND ruby!!!!!!!! how'd that happen??
- oh yeah... art. wow, art; wow. :) he makes wonderful musical assemblages annually @ these things -- can't believe we & i get to be a part. i pinch myself! it's unimaginable! to think where i could be & instead to get this... time to regroup, for mild gratitude, for calm reflection, not impulse for merriment & mania, to guffaw & monkey about & jump & run... will save that for the stage. :)
- for what do you have to be grateful? (let's all take a second to pause... bow heads... give thanks...) heh! just kidding, sort of!
- feliz fin de semana y felices fiestas to you, dear reader, whomever you be. life, oh life! we're still here! rejoice!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

storming inside, storming outside... what a mess

man-about-hollywoodtown art fein mentioned our gallery/ruby escapade in his latest column: "I went to an art opening for my friend John Tottenham, whom I’d always known one-dimensionally as a writer. His drawings and paintings covered many white walls at a space next to a sport-shoes store in a nondescript part-American area south on La Cienega and a great celebration and gathering was at hand. Jenny the thrush [as in the throat infection, mebbe?] and ivory-tickler from the Dusk Devils came along and we ran into many people we know, including to our surprise the surprised Phil Alvin. Much fun was had. Then we went over to a club mysteriously hidden behind Amoeba Record to attend Rodney Bingenheimer’s Rock & Roll show featuring my idol Ruby Friedman. We got in a little late and caught only two of her songs, but two of her songs is worth a hundred of anyone else’s ..." yes, definitely ruby is idol-worthy... was awed but also scared to watch her, really. so powerful. such emotion. can't really handle it. panic, choke, feel end drawing near. it gets stupid-bad! must limn edges of life, stay nimble, hop around, stay ahead. life's heaviness is too close-to-the-surface in this brain. yet, in a finger's snap, all is bliss, wonder, amazement! i often just don't get why i got this particular coconut, bent on my destruction, seemingly... anyways, the above describes only one of about 50 escapades of which @ writes this mo.; he's never in one place, he goes from town to town... he really gets around! (at top of this page is ad for this yr's elvis show, too.) sofein
* @ mysteriously left his green corduroy jacket in the small space of my truck's front seat (daughter jessie had his car, so i chauffeured). i'm sorry to say it now bears dog hair... would love to get pix from paul body of the night, including 1 of me/PA & AF, tho am positive i was having a very bad hair night.
* tottenham's art was peculiar & affecting. one series showed a disabled, nude, seemingly depressed, underfed woman. i thought it exploitative, & then an acquaintance said he liked it!: that it showed the humanity of persons normally not considered subjects of art! my dear friend donna'd probably say rashomon may be the case -- someplace in the middle is Truth.
* imagine that. the frigging middle. now there's a wise construct!
* the wall that flipped me out most displayed a score of small paintings, ea of a different man w/a different woman, ea in which the man's fingers are stuffed in the woman's mouth.
* i mean, what the hell can i say about that except i just don't know what the hell to say about that... it was kinda weird & thrilling & depressing, i guess.
* lastly, am glad i saw art's post & have something to write about that doesn't involve an oven & my head. (just kidding, loved ones, about something not funny one bit.) the dog boys are here & it's storming like crazy... i should be @ a mtg!... so what's it like to have two ppl living in one body? (not that you asked?) bliss & bane, thrill & despair, too much for me...
* waiting for the next wave, when the updraft hits & i go soaring... should be soon, knowing this rollercoaster... soon!! "there is always madness in love. but there also is always some reason in madness." nietzsche? is it true???
* wishing you a warm place out of the elements, w/a head & soul that cooperate...

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

shadows, d.h. lawrence

r.i.p. to heather & peace to all of her loved ones.

and if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.

and if, as weeks go round, in the dark of the moon
my spirit darkens and goes out, and soft strange gloom
pervades my movements and my thoughts and words
then I shall know that I am walking still
with God, we are close together now the moon’s in shadow.

and if, as autumn deepens and darkens
I feel the pain of falling leaves, and stems that break in storms
and trouble and dissolution and distress
and then the softness of deep shadows folding,
folding around my soul and spirit, around my lips
so sweet, like a swoon, or more like the drowse of a low, sad song
singing darker than the nightingale, on, on to the solstice
and the silence of short days, the silence of the year, the shadow,
then I shall know that my life is moving still
with the dark earth, and drenched
with the deep oblivion of earth’s lapse and renewal.

and if, in the changing phases of man’s life
I fall in sickness and in misery
my wrists seem broken and my heart seems dead
and strength is gone, and my life
is only the leavings of a life:

and still, among it all, snatches of lovely oblivion, and snatches of renewal
odd, wintry flowers upon the withered stem, yet new, strange flowers
such as my life has not brought forth before, new blossoms of me

then I must know that still
I am in the hands of the unknown God,
he is breaking me down to his own oblivion
to send me forth on a new morning, a new man.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

dusk devils, los ramons, rocknroll pizza, dec. 11, FREE SHOW!

here's the version w/the correct date. this tiny joint has great pizza & fun vibe. it's not much of a drive from bako. or smell/swellay. fun fun fun! :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

turkey on thanksgiving, like alms for the poor / all we need are the necessities and more...

ain't it the truth? happy turkey day!
i love thanksgiving, which in our family means lots of noisy, happy, cranky people & enough food to feed a small country, but i also love this picture: ... the pie run's in 6 hrs! i have my pie... will you be there?: thursday, thanksgiving day, @ hart pk, bakersfield. bring a pie & look for the bonfire.
hope my foot will cooperate! if not, i spose i'll just hobble...
wishing you warmth, health, love, & sustenance of all kinds these holidays. and maybe a day off, too. :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

oh! the holidays! oh! the big apple! oh! the food!! "i'll tip the newsboy i'll take a shine i'll ride this dream to the end of the line"

my heart just felt it... holidays are here! ooh my soul! it swells w/love! may your days be merry & bright!
(& now to blablablog re nyc trip - kinda out of order)
- flew on jetblue LAX to JFK - absolutely no hassle, lots of leg rm & i love that airbuses are quiet on take-off/landing, the horrifying roar being the pt of the plane ride i usually most dread... jetblue also has great snacks & serves dunkin' donuts coffee, but you gotta pay for headphones if you want to watch tv (i didn't)
- used airtrams to navigate jfk & then got wk pass (a deal! do it, if you plan to use NYC public transport, which you must!) & metrorailed into manhattan... NYC is safe now! my sis traveled to NYC 20+ yrs ago & still deems it "dirty & stinky & scary." but it's not, sister. it's just not that way no mo. unlike the buck owens song, i love new york, & you will, too!
- checked in @ hostel on upper east side w/o much of a hitch... neighborhood's safe & clean &, like cow hollow in SF, off the beaten path, meaning a refuge, removed from the excitement (mess), quiet @ nite (tho the french guy next door snored as loud as the witch in suspiria, ultimately kinda funny, not annoying).
- neighborhood planters are filled w/gourds & scarecrows, store windows w/lights & stars: it's the intersection of autumn thanksgiving & winter yuletide & you can feel it on your cheeks, in the crisp air, quickening the pulse: cars & taxis honk, brakes squeak, foodsmells swell, windows pop w/beautiful things to see & buy (not today, thanks), skyscrapers loom... the city's alive!!
- walked 42nd st, time square @ nite, lit up like daylight, neoned like tokyo, crowded like new yr's eve... this whole area never sleeps!! no plan on this trip except for meditation seminar... the unexpected is around each corner & delights outweigh frustrations by far, like a quick run down W 24th st that reveals a whole free, fun row of avante-garde art galleries; or a subway musician improv-embellishing upon lovely gershwin melodies on lonely clarinet; or the most delicious curried rice & chicken plate, steaming hot on a cold night, from street foodslingers the halal guys... :)
- delicious la mia plain pizza, unbeatable famous ray's pizza (they ship to cal!), blueberry cheesecake, overwhelming eataly (an italian food super-emporium), 99c slices, bagels, morning eggs on roll for a buck-fifty, so much great food everyplace!; walked & walked miles & miles ea day, tho foot is still killing me (gd plantar fasciitis)... can't get over how great it is to explore the city afoot; can't get over that it's not freezing; can't get over the city loveliness, vibrancy (that is, til the moment near end of trip i get bumped by one too many ppl on crammed street & subway & realize: time to go home)
- went down to greenwich village, up to the bronx (where i go is open, rural, dilapidated, like where cops might find the body in a crime movie, but beautiful somehow), had awesome coconut-pistachio gelato bar @ former, pastrami & soup in cozy hole-in-wall @ latter, then a white castle slider, too. gluttony.
- empire state bldg, statue of liberty, top of the rock (watched the sun set over the city, red & orange make-your-eyes-water gleam waning between gray buildings like final scene of an end-of-the-world movie), waldorf-astoria marbled toilet rms: so much influence of art deco, neo-classical, egyptian, even: opulent mash-ups create architectural finery
- central park!!! a jewel!!! giant rocks, giant trees, grassy fields, waterfalls, lakes, ice rinks, walking, jogging, climbing, ambling, strolling, overcoated, watch-capped, happy, chatting, everywhere everyday people... what could be better?
- ellis island: so moving & interesting, but the energy drains your soul. so many ghosts. on the register of arrivals is one egio gia: dad's grandpa
- acem meditation seminar: terrific, non-religious, so effective! floating in meditation, my nail-in-heel pain is abated; thoughts of hats flying atop of mailboxes waft in my brain & it's cool, to be conscious & yet watch a dream in action, then return to the meditation phrase, which, like jogging, calms & cleans the mind & body
- am treated to #1 b'way play MEMPHIS & spend 20 bucks on 2 cokes & peanut m&ms, but am happy for the whole experience, in the lovely & surprisingly (to me) small shubert theatre, velvety, brocaded, gilded... when the performers start hoofing, w/a shock i realize this is BROADWAY indeed! what polish!
- pickles, beets, rye bread, matzo ball soup, potato pancake, post-b'way crowd @ junior's...
- "skate" @ rockefeller plaza (well, i watch) - have skated (unsuccessfully) just once, as a child, so mostly hug the rails this time, too, but what exhilaration, the festive spirit, the glisten & crunch & sizzle of ice, the smiles & pink cheeks of others, the joy & sounds of laughter all around... jani said today she'll teach me to skate, & i can't wait! i tried, but... i suck. still, what tremendous good-cheer fun it is. :)
- went thru MOMA & got to see up-close (tho too-fast) van goghes, cezannes, matisses, picassos, etc etc, in what looks to be a bigger painting collection than has the british museum (also saw fun baldessari exhibit); then watched @ museum of natural history mind-blowing planetarium show about stars (how can SOMETHING come from NOTHING?? from where, then, did the hydrogen gas & dark matter that formed it all come?!? clearly i'm no astronomer, not even close) as well as margaret meade hall on ppl of south seas & another on the near east & what stuck w/me was learning that dharma INCLUDES want of artha (wealth) & kama (desire), but that then one realizes these are temporary fixes & seeks moksha (salvation)... was reassured to learn hindus recognize that (Wo)Man has a need, even craving for the material @ a certain life-pt, but then matures & sets such things aside... it seems forgiving of we frail, (too) oftentimes ignoble humans...
- cab, train, bus, plane, finally reached california & reveled in big pink sky & sun & lovely weather... the weather: why all those NYers want to be here! waited all day & eve, jetlagged, for cousin to arrive frm TX, but this, too, allowed meandering adventure: bargains, eating, veering off to awesome women's mtg in venice, driving in circles listening to NPR til i find my gym, a 3-story version packed w/young ppl of all colors (something i loved in NYC: the tremendous cultural & racial diversity), awesome kickboxing class, watts times on way out. scooped up family @ LAX, then we arrived home to mountains for final gift: dad & mom had been there that day, put up new curtains, turned on heaters, so my little house was cozy & golden-warm against the freezing cold night, & in the morning, we had coffee & the kids had juice & donuts & oh, to be home. what a wondrous thing. :) happy holidays to you. :)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

don't save this date... save DECEMBER 11!!!

am in nyc on hostel computer (clean, bare-bones lodging here's a divided walk-up: common kitchen, bathrm, but private little rm w/loft bed on top, single on bottom, good tv, & vw of upper east side st below): seeing so many sites, walking my feet off (owww!!!), went to promising acem meditation seminar (, etc... just got into email & LOOK AT THIS!! :)
however, sez artist david, who made this, the flyer date's wrong. we'll be there dec. 11. it'll be a swell show! not just is r&r pizza a tiny, cool venue slathered w/R&R posters, it has good NY-style pizza... i've been eating A LOT of it this past wk, & i'd say r&r pizza (as much as it can, not having NYC's sweet municipal water) stacks up! w/spanish-language ramones tribute band los ramons on the bill w/us, it should sure-shootin' be so much fun. :)
yes, hello to all you mugs, you mensches, from the big apple, one of my most favorite cities on earth!! hope your wkend's going wonderfully.
more later - there's no chair here, which is a very effective net-addict deterrent...

Monday, November 15, 2010

fragmenticity, shifts in tense, sleepy can't-sleep ramblings

-can't sleep!
- going to nyc! among other things, for a meditation seminar... need to mellow out. so excited, tho!!! want to ice skate (haven't since 1x in child yrs), jog & explore central pk, walk & walk the upper east side & everyplace, see coney island, eat pizza. anything beyond just being there will be lagniappe. art said, "i'd never sleep if i lived there. i can definitely feel the pulse of the city..."
- lately - beautiful karling abbeygate & my friend manuel! palmer & leo were there, too, w/me therein reuniting the big manny christmas record crew... :) cool retro marina hotel. late night drives. denny's pancake puppies & peppermint shake! dusk devils music. scotty adds ideas to evil eye... yes, new songs! monster drinks. very cool gigs upcoming, more pending!! long mountain hikes with friends. i look out from the vista on which i stand & realize: the mountains are my backyard! wow! transitions, arguments, amends, lonely times, better times. good mtgs around here! visit from mom & dad... then hollywood w/art fein: john tottenham art exhibit; in the midst of it, surprise glimpse of beautiful erin, who's gracious enough to let me make amend to her, albeit brief (i'm sure i spooked her; i'm sure she didn't expect to see awful me there... but she looked happier when she left, less stressed, & i was so happy, too, to get that unexpected chance to try to make right a wrong); friendly paul body w/his roach-stomping, high-gloss cowboy boots; phil alvin... phil alvin! at the art opening, just like that, incongruously!... (why do i say "incongruously"? i don't really know the guy! just certainly didn't expect him there... nor he, me [us?], by his pleased gape.)
-just a bit more on phil, w/whom i've been obsessed for decades (tho i have had to admit in this past yr he'll possibly never be my future ex-husband): he stood there grinning at me -- at ME!! -- like bugs bunny or the heehaw donkey, rooster-chested, shoulders thrown back like the one bad stud, in a black thrift-store suit & white dress shirt w/wife-beater showing beneath... his hair was dyed, jeffersonianly, & his manner was dim, hip, regal, friendly. "hey, di-d-did i hear ya moved?" he asked me, jutting forward at me for a bit of emphasis, & then we all talked for a bit & i piqued him w/news of the mysterious museum of jurassic technology, a dang place never open when i'm down there... phil was there to hang out, to schmooze, but i got freaked out!, so went to "look at the art." can't be that crazy hot-to-trot for someone for so many yrs then stand & shoot the bull w/him. just can't. it was too much!!
- art had a little wine & was done, said it didn't make him drunk but just feel weird, tho also relaxed so that he "could talk." malcolm gladwell, accordion, relationships, living in paris (he has; i've just visited), some gossip about a musician-knothead everyone knows, & of course, music music music, lots of talk & it all & all was quite a cool & even amazing evening... headed to cabana club off sunset for stunning, wonderful ruby friedman orchestra, ruby leading her crescendoing songs w/these magnificent silent-era eyes & lips & arms that floated like butterflies. then she'd rock & shake like the child of joe cocker meets janis & it was the coolest thing i've seen ever in someone not a whacked-out rockabilly eccentric. she was so haunting, sincere, lovely, rock-opera intense - yet a giggling sort of friendly gentle hippie girl in repose, which made me like her even more.
good gravy, i need to go to bed...

Monday, November 08, 2010

happy, happy baby

one time a friend kindly made me a CD of songs, & this was the 1st cut. i share w/all, especially my buddy who's having an important appt today.
this is just wonderful, i think. :) may we all be happy today, or if not today, how about tomorrow. :)

jani, small people, lifelifelife, true-blue you

feeling a bit glum, was gonna catalog here all the ppl i've gotten to/had to play w/over the past 8 yrs, but then my dear jani called & today's her 12th sobriety bd!! she recentered me. who cares if i've had 4,000 drummers & 85 others & that a recent departure, altho now in a more financially successful gig than he was w/us, has decided to be small w/me, admitting he wronged me in a mean, backhanded way that makes no sense unless he feels guilty & like an ass & therefore that his only recourse is to try to hurt me?... guess not all can be big in a timely manner, as are drunk club folks who work a program, or ones of true character, like my guitar-slinging pal phil... i relate to having to step in crap & smear it on others before realizing i CAN comport myself w/dignity... the situation's too bad, but it'll pass.
i met jani in a mtg in a park in bakersfield. she knew the drinking game was up & was absolutely heartbroken. it's disconcerting to reconcile my memory of her that eve, tears streaming down her face, w/the friendly woman w/the ear-to-ear grin, the one who greets everyone & always strives to make newcomers feel safe & welcome. jani knows & lives pp. 20 & 67 (et al): our lives depend on constant thought of helping others (& the converse: my death, spiritual or corporeal, comes when i think only of helping myself!!). yes, what a miracle sobriety has been for her... & for me! jani & i (& her twin sister joni) are leos & drunks & women who are friends to the world, but have struggled w/men... jani, tho, is more down-to-earth than i am, wears the cloak of life more loosely, i think, & is more pragmatic... i love her so.
feels like i've written this story before: jani's best friend way back when, long before i knew jani, was carrying on w/my boyfriend, who was sort of like the prince of bakersfield bc his daddy was world-famous country singer, big-shot businessman w/media empire -- i thought i was special back then to be/"johnny" (who didn't like being called that, tho that was his birth name), whom i didn't know by name 1st time i saw his handsome face & my heart went clunk -- he was SO CUTE back then!!!! then he opened his mouth & he had that twang... i was done for, too-smart-for-her-own-good, noble-savage-romanticizing, know-nothing that i was. all were buried in hard partying, tho they were "country people" & i was more of a cramps & suicide-ideation girl... not a good match!!
jani tells me still how her friend & she would talk about "that weird girl w/the black hair who wears all that makeup & wears black all the time..." yrs ago a big woman w/huge fire-engine-red hair & loud outfit said, in the middle of a mtg, "when i met jenny, i thought she was BIZARRE!!!" i was taken aback: SHE was bizarre! but yes, i must admit... probably i was bizarre, tho such things are unimportant in the long run & "bizarre" is a relative term.
pt is, jani is my true-blue friend & one's perception of oneself can be pretty skewed & so thank goodness for true-blue friends, who keep a soul relatively current & honest & aware that what's most important is what i think of others cause if i just sit around thinking about me, i'm sunk, dead, buried.
here's to true-blue friends. here's to jani. here's to phil. here's to donna. to mike, manuel, toni, patty, maryfafa, tushi, angie, to... all of you. :)

Friday, November 05, 2010

yes, i'll be here when the morning comes

can't put it more politely than this right now: when life sucks, music saves. tonight's been a bad, bad mo-fo roller coaster. then i picked up my little squire bass & played along w/manuel's CD, which he gave me last wk. carl perkins, bo diddley, down home girl... life was restored as i tried to ape russell scott's bass lines. it reminded me of halloween...
here's some pix from that show, including our new bass player scotty. the band was each given a piece of "caveman" fabric & demonstrated awesome creativity, i thought, when ea showed up as 1) "dallas cowboy cheerleader caveman" (what rick called phil, who wore t-shirt, black shorts & cowboy boots, his legs sticking out conspicuously, & who then did a strip tease when his cave bottoms fell off, to hoots & hollers from female audience); 2) hippie caveman (was delighted that scotty was able to wear the tiger-western shirt made by my artist bro-in-law paul in denver -- i've never been able to wear it); & 3) what i call wally wood classic caveman -- rick went full neanderthal, as i kinda hoped he would, looking as goofy nerdy-cool as anything from vintage mad magazine era.
me? i was (of course) sick as a dog from a terrible recent health snag (nothing lethal; i'm ok, but it has been traumatic), so i opted for buried-in-fur freezing cavewoman. unfortunately, i didn't consider that such an outfit would add 40 lbs to my frame!!! oh well.
once we hit the ground playing, i was well for 4 straight hrs... those derby acres folks kept swarming in, many even having come to see us from the taft show w/whiteboy james, & everyone partied cheerfully, loudly, & generously all night long w/us. we received compliments galore, an encore, & more. "you really come alive w/a crowd," said a nice couple. "the more people arrived, the more you lit up." i loved hearing that!! it's true!!
we played better than we ever have; phil debuted his new awesome rockabilly tune; he & i took round after round of improv instrumentals, & phil's always right-there ready to go. it just felt so good -- my fingers were cooperating cause we were all in the glide... unlike tonight, unlike after the show, the rollercoaster of music was absolutely exhilarating! we did werewolves of london (2x; everyone sang along); haunted house (gene simmons/hasil adkins); munsters theme -- only the last had been practiced, but the others came out so fun!
i even received marriage proposals. even w/40 lbs of extra wt from my costume. :)
however, the moment we stopped playing, i felt death coming quickly. it took a good while to say goodbye to folks, get moolah, load up. i wanted so badly to just lie down & rest & die... such a long drive home... just wanted to die... the evening ended up being full-blown horrible, monstrously so, maybe fitting for halloween, but no no no fun, no sir... but the show, the show was tops, one of our ever-loving best! i was amazed by scott, who, w/1 practice w/us, laid down bass for over 4 hrs.
life w/o music is no life at all. thank you to scott, rick, & phil. and big manny, who doesn't even know he saved me this evening. tonight @ the mtg in nearby lake of the woods, a man said, "here [in secret society] i not just found my smile, but the peace that goes behind it." when i am in the music, or around dear friends, i know that feeling. may you have it, too. no arcania for tonight -- just a wish for love & music & friendship & forgiveness to all who read this.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

ok, this is just weird... & a mash note for karling

this is not me.
my clone
my family will attest this is how my face looked when i was younger, down to the sort of peeved expression... this gal's not a half-breed like me, & the wig's black, but the messiness is purt-dang close!!
darned delicious gutbomb late-night in-&-out burger!! it was fun to pile it down on my clear-black-night drive home on heels of (darling) karling abbeygate show @ which i got to see MANUEL!!!, but now i cannot sleep!! arggghhhh!!!! and now it's starting to pour pour pour & the moon is so so white! so tempting!! who can sleep?!? wow!! what a storm's starting!! dang hamburger -- i could be snuggled up in bed w/the rainfall instead of sitting here fat as a tick!!!
karling's got that wanda snarl, & her uptempo tunes in particular rockabillied like crazy & reminded me of becky's band back when: exciting-fun!! karling's got perfect bettie page black fluffy bouncy hair & such a pretty heart-shaped smile, & i wish i could wear sleeveless dresses like the one she wore tonight! she reminded me of betty boop even a bit & wonder what it'd be like to dance on the stage like she does, dance & twirl & then grab the mike & snarl into it like elvis?
it was great fun to get to see her in the flesh finally... like candye, karling's got good mojo, i think!
and manuel, big manny, the down-home giant of guitar: every time he'd sing out some solo i thought was especially fine, i'd look over & phil'd sure enough be smiling & chortling in admiration... phil's the best there is in town -- but manuel was the visiting king tonight!
ok, please continue on to read about tomorrow's halloween show... tonight we practiced nearly 5 HOURS w/scotty & i think tomorrow's gonna be quite the fun little bash. happy all hallow's eve & dia de los muertos & all saint's day & samhain & etc to all! :) :) :)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

if you hear him howlin round your kitchen door, better not let him in

i love roku!! last nite, watched "let the right one in," disturbing & lonely & extremely well-made swedish vampire movie that touched off one nightmare of a jacked-up eve... tonight played music, rewatched one of my most faves, "zombieland" ("time to nut up or shut up!" "and without other people, you might as well be a zombie," etc.) & ate caveman cavey's & so the nite, like the werewolf's hair, "was perfect."
am thinking some folks maybe are sore at me right now, tho. such is life, i guess. this, too, shall pass. they all have lives... how important can i be? it can't last, not the good or bad... upside is fri after practice i get to go watch manuel back up karling abbeygate, then we get to do a halloween show, then monday i'll meet the big man again at the barndance... tho i guess not the sore guy who lives in hollywood. maybe some other time. for now, oil well.
am now slightly lamenting i won't be at ex-hubby b's (& my) friends' halloween party sat, where the sober bikers sing (at funnest pt in set, for me) trashy 60s tunes & john smith does his spot-on karloff (i mean bobby boris pickett) & i get to pluck away off-the-cuff... however, we'll debut a new devil this wkend (i hope - if the guy has stamina to run a marathon in 3:30, he can certainly bust thru 4 sets, i'm thinking!!) & i'm looking fwd to seeing the fellows in caveman attire. that should be swell! :) for me, i spose i'll be the token cavewoman.
i think i'll rat my hair. and imagine the makeup i'll be able to get away with!
shuddering w/excitement now... time to hit the keys & try the zevon song... as well as there's a moon out tonight, whoa-oh-oh-ooh (capris)
(p.s. - this reminds me of when i was totally obsessed w/movies & tv shows & did stuff like the following: zombieland dialogue transcript )
(p.p.s. - "go get em," said manuel. "hit em hard & make em love you. i know you do." he speaks from experience!! anyone who doesn't love manuel has no heart & also no ear for sumo-sized talent & the best music!!!)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

songs & stories about rain & blablabla

1. "rain," charlie feathers; 2. story "the green morning," about a martian johnny appleseed, ray bradbury (from the martian chronicles); 3. "raindrops," jackie wilson; 4. "i can see clearly now," johnny nash; 5. "just walking in the rain," the prisonaires; 6. "when it rains, it really pours," elvis; 7. "rainy day dream away," jimi hendrix; 8. "stormy weather," ella fitzgerald; 9. "rain song" &/or "fool in the rain," led zeppelin... and, of course, "it's raining men" by the weather girls.
too bad i can't locate online text of "the green morning" to place link of here, since it's a gentle, beautiful story, i think. the bradburys online are more dystopic, e.g. these: "there will come soft rains" by ray bradbury (that one used to freak me out when i was a teen, as did the following:) "all summer in a day"... great stories, but dark dark dark, as is this:
it rains here in stereo. shade draws over deep blue sky & suddenly all's portentous, pregnant gray, earth & sky are shrouded in cloud, & flash! the light show hits & thunder cracks, rumbles, crashes like heaven's bowling alley, olympus' trash company. it's not gentle, as in some of the songs above, but seemingly unending when it hits, tho also not ominous & telling of evil, as in the maugham story. storms here come & come & come, like the rain'll never stop, rhythmic yet erratic, scary, thrilling, elemental, primitive, yes, this is it: i'm living in nature & it makes a soul realize its own tininess, temporariness, aliveness.
in a moment, i hope, will be warm bed, w/rain tattooing my brain w/imprints of rest & sleep.
here's a good quote from the comic sage & songwriting ace roger miller, dear friend of local honky-tonk trucker-bard, red "suitcase" simpson:
"some people walk in the rain. others just get wet."

Sunday, October 10, 2010


saw this & can you believe his vocals are live, w/o effects, & what kind of mike is that, anyways? elvis WAS the king. never will there be another.
this has been a weird, wild, lonely, lovely, fun, fulfilling, & frustrating wkend. i was so touched (in the heart, tho am also in the head, yknow) when my friend in pittsburgh sent me a song said to have been written w/me in mind... recorded on one track, haunting, melancholy... don't have permission to post it, but when i do, i will. then my pal phil previewed for me a sort of wild gene vincent-style tune that will be a real blast, i think!

Friday, October 08, 2010


my little sister! she can't be middle-aged! but i guess if i am, she must be... yipes! and what a relief.
my little sister is a talented, dedicated, bright, even brilliant, self-proclaimed "creative basket case." she has always had the figure to die for, w/long slender legs, & she can really clean up: she can match an outfit head to toe & always dresses w/style!... she's worked hard her whole life, little soldier, hand to plow, sweat on brow (& she's needed to!! not just has she co-raised her daughter w/her ex, but she needs dough for the nice things she prefers!). an unfortunate but typical example of angie & i growing up: we both worked @ a discount movie house when we were girls. i recall staggering out of the ice room after some time in there w/a male co-worker to find angie scrubbing & scrubbing the lobby, working furiously... i must've been the most embarrassing sister, tho today fences are mended & i only want to help & love her, & i know that she feels the same toward me... time heals all wounds, & wounds all heels, to quote art fein. i certainly had my time to be wounded, & i deserved it, but now life is good & relationships repaired & what a thing life is, what a glorious thing...
i hope angie will be happy today. she has been downright stressed lately (a family trait: sloth & pleasure sandwiched by over-obligation & -toil). she works for "the evil empire," as mama calls it. she struggles to bring art & love & enrichment to kids who are being taught stultifying & soul-depleting rote. she fights the good fight, trying to guide kids from poverty conditions toward happy & useful citizenship. she's also studying to be an art therapist. so unusual! so worthy! she also just moved. she's also a good mom & friend. she also... the list goes on & on. angie is a hero to many! :)
was working on my brick pathway under a gorgeous (cerulean!!) sky when james called to ask which of his mad magazines i wanted. he also said he was building a giant papier mache head & a footstool made of old cowboy boots. so cool!! i love my smart, weird, life-loving & -affirming friends... at the show we did w/him last wk, james dedicated "roll 'em pete" to the dusk devils. they flat-out cooked that tune!, but the hole where piano goes was a definite one, to my ear, like when the blasters now do "one bad stud" w/o horns or keys, like "green onions" w/o the organ, "tequila" w/o the horns, elvis songs w/o elvis, "goin up to country" w/o flute (i know; that's the canned heat version, but that's the one i prefer), etc etc... then he dedicated to me "trying to get to you," which he'd pounded out of the park @ the elvis show. i was startled & flattered to hear him on-the-fly change the lyrics:
"i've been traveling in the dark... even up to frazier park... just to try to get to you... when i read your lovin' email, well, my heart began to sing..." [etc]
phil looked @ me & cocked a brow. "REAL-ly..." he chuckled...
"NO!!" i replied, embarrassed but happy.
am a very lucky person to have friends like these, brothers & sister, we. heck, to have friends at all! to have loved ones! i know they say keep your friends close & enemies closer, but i'd just much rather concentrate on the former. this life is too short to do otherwise!; we mustn't waste one more bit of energy on the others... unless they need our help & ask for it & we can give it w/o disparagement or expectation...
oh! i spot the quail on the hill opposite this picture window! i look out from here onto a mountainside, across the arroyo that demarcates the east side of my property... each morning i get to watch butterflies, blue birds, domestic cats who prowl the hill w/delusions of liondom, & lately, my favorites: a bevy of fat, top-hatted california quail, peeping & chirping & bobbing as they strut around & take their dirt baths... they're like a group of old men standing around smoking. this place is delightful for sites like that, & so much more!
back to fellow humans... i pray these steps i'm working will result in a clean & honest new person w/insides matching outsides. i know i have great capacity for love, & despair, & what lies between... but to respect & honor each person on my path of life, that's the goal. that's the goal. that's the goal. time to roll.
(addendum: yes, i know this has all been about me... but this IS my blog, of tiny -- if that -- import, written bc i so love to write. please, if you read this & judge me,or even if you don't, please start your own blog so that i can read it!)

Saturday, October 02, 2010

pervading sense of unreality follows wondrous night of little sleep, glorious music and moonlight

(the above makes me miss writing headlines!!! in the online-publishing era, does "headline count" still exist?? i just don't know... it used to be sometimes irritating, but also fun wording headlines to puzzle together just so, working not just w/words, but even tighter -- w/picas, font sizes, & individual letters, which have different count depending on font & width...)
t.s. eliot: "it's strange that words are so inadequate. yet, like the asthmatic struggling for breath, so the lover must struggle for words..." feels like this whole blog is that way! my words are inadequate to capture what this precious & quixotic life feels like. are words that way for you??
so what a blessing it is to have such an outlet as this blog, fumbling tho my attempts may be to elucidate & enunciate mysteries of existence (ha!)... yes, what a blessing it is to write! & create! & feel! & love! & draw breath! (ok; that's enough...)
so back to earth: this house originally had 3 oaks on its property, beautiful old grandfathers, but when i moved here, only one remained, the others not just having been removed, but for some reason, their stumps painted blue. demented!... not just eviscerated, the trees were defaced, as if by some perverted arboreal undertaker!
the other day i returned from bakersfield feeling sick (as now seem to when returning from bako) & as i backed my truck up to the house so i wouldn't have to walk so far to unload, i glanced into the backyard &... tree #3 had fallen & was laying in pt on the house. yikes!! providence or fluke or the great pumpkin pitched the tree just enough away from the house so that it appears there's no roof damage, tho i've yet to confirm that... i know last night when i got home @ godforsaken-a.m., it rained like hell & this morn there are no leaks... could it be that a tree falls on the house & the house is not damaged? if so, wow!!
the tree looks like it committed suicide -- yanked itself from the earth, root & ball. no stump's even left to paint blue.
on the upside, i won't need firewood for winter! :)
well, was gonna write a bunch more, but am just too beat after the last few days... painful heel spur still holding me back from running; so grateful for this wk getting to make many amends & heal long-standing upsets w/others; so grateful to feel such love for & affinity w/other drunks, my brothers & sisters; helping sister move, & oh, how i love my little sister, who now owns her very own house, god love our parents!; driving driving driving, i'm always driving now; the beautiful rural rd from here to taft (on I-5! i didn't think there was one pretty inch on that strip!); the wild & amazing whiteboy james (who has the life force of 2 -- maybe 3 -- men & is the most blessedly, fierily talented crazy cutey demon i've ever met! a supernova!); his band's incredible show last night (oh, to have a band that tight! what heaven that must be!); our quite uneven but ultimately ok contribution to the show; steady crazy friendly rick, & phil, who, yes, is  wonderful, & what's so wrong about saying what's true?; some disturbing conflicts & hurt feelings w/in band; the velvety night, the hotel lights, the stars & moon, the long rd home; up late, writing a song, unable to sleep, abuzz buzz buzz... & today, following last night's downpour, this morn's perfect skies, robin's-egg blue, clouds, billowy-silvery, w/light quality so clean & gold, it nearly brought tears!
wow!!! a giant crash of thunder just boomed not so far from here, crashing like zeus's symphonic kettle drum, thumping the whole mountain!! more big storms today, looks like!
more good news: no trees on this property to be knocked down by storms!!!
wa-la! that's it for now! happy fin de semana to anyone reading this! :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

whon thot Aprille swithin potrzebie, the burgid prillie gives one heebie-jeebie. SPA FON! SQUA TRONT!! GASP!!!! CHOKE!!!!

james sez the place is an old speakeasy! they got food! they got booze! we got music! they got the unbeatable, unbearably smokin james & the blues express! we got fabulous phil hickerson & the dynamic dusk devils!
here's to a rockin good time for all, whether you're there or not. :)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

the most amazing video ever made as well as another amazing road trip & tho overused here, amazing is a pretty apt & cool word.

- this sounds like pure boasting, & tho i never want to leave my house ever again (never meaning not tonight), i just got back from the coolest gig ever.
- a catastrophe went down (everyone's ok; don't worry) & candye kane put out a request & next thing i knew, she flew me out to green bay. outside the oneida in g.b., where they've had 3 awesome rockin' 50s festivals already, candye & co swung up as i stood there finishing a great quick read ("i'm not scared," by niccolo ammaniti). i jumped in their van (soon to be mine for 4 days), we took off north to marquette, mi & next day i got to go to a blues fest where candye headlined & i got to play bigshot-in-my-own-brain as folks asked if i was her manager & i nodded noncommitally, in what i thought might be a slightly mysterious, even possibly inscrutable manner, tho i maybe just looked dyspeptic & kind of like a freezing pocket mouse in my new-from-marquette-goodwill overcoat (it was dang cold!) & oversized shoes... then i got to see how festivals & fans treat well-loved, hard-working performers like candye: lots of well-deserved attention, adoration, everyone wanting to get up close to candye, dressed in her bawdy, pretty-peacock finery w/that big sweet smile on her heart-shaped face that just makes everyone love her, & then having to watch her have run-ins w/the occasional social retard... i guess there's no way to avoid such humans, no matter how much a person's loved... she took it w/grace & class, tho if i get to impersonate her manager ever again, i think i'll shut such twerps down cause candye & her whole dang band work too hard & are too nice a group to suffer fools...
- then we went in the trailer & ate some grub & candye unloaded about a recent entanglement in which she was treated really unfairly &amp by a know-it-all musician a**hole; said people were asking if i were her sister & then we found out we are both middle-named louise & she said some people you just have a connection w/ & maybe it's cause you knew them in another life & i was struck that someone else had told me such a thing earlier that very wk, & who knows? maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but in any event, i was flattered & also intrigued...
- next day they all flew home & my job began, so i embarked upon the rd to california, delivering the van home... it was a long adventure, but i had carl perkins, little walter, billie holliday, npr, weather, scenery, & my own meanderings to entertain me & continually was happy & stunned by where life can take a person, tho when i started talking to the van, i knew it was time to get this rd trip over & get back into the world of people...
- eventually i was sitting there in candye's beautiful old beachside home, an airy but cozy place filled w/funky antique & retro furniture, music, instruments, tchotckes, etc. & a sleepy ocean breeze that would lull me into near-stupor, if i lived there... generous, candid candye (you always know right where you are w/her; she is let-it-hang-out honest & a good friend, you can tell) treated me; her rmmate, artist mardi (who designs, cuts & builds really cool metal jewelry & place settings); & candye's best-bud, mischievous, quirky, gifted guitar genius laura c (she has an amazing face; someone should photograph her), to all-you-can-eat sushi (truly an american-japanese amalgamation, that). afterward, all were lying on the craftsman & googie couches & chairs & facebooking when laura jumped up & said, oh, i gotta show you something! this is so cool! and she then pulled up this incredible video... just wait til you see it. you'll be so happy; your life will be better. :)
- then my dear friend bill pulled up, he of the movie star looks & kooky smart-squirrel personality, & whisked me away to hang out w/him & my dear dear friend, his bride freddie... they are the happiest couple i know, funny & generous & so full of joy that they infuse everyone around them w/it. again, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude: such wonderful folks everyone is, from sturdy bassman kennan to candye's gifted son, drummer evan (he of the soulful eyes) to candye, laura, mardi, bill, freddie, & now i can't wait to see my family & loved ones & bandmates (once i sleep for about 96 hrs). right now i feel like my sponsor, who calls herself "the luckiest woman in the world," & in that ea person lives in his/her own world of subjective experience, i suppose i AM the luckiest woman in the world. it's a pretty dang good life, considering where it might've gone had i not been forced by the supreme spirit of the universe to put down the bottle & the hangover... ain't life grand? just to breathe air one more day, to not wonder why was i born, whywhywhy, to not hate anyone or oneself... ain't life grand?
- now am home & too tired to sleep, but to be home... home is the hunter, home from the hills, the sailor home from the sea... & the squirrel home from the tree, tho still w/plenty of nuts in her cheeks (whatever the heck that means. dang; it's getting late!).
- hope you love this video as much as i do. buona notte, buenos noches, bonne nuit... here's to you & me, may we never disagree, & if we do... ooh-poo-pah-doo (to quote jesse hill).

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

goddang pizza

exercise 50 mins + eat leftover pizza in fridge = up for many hrs dratting self & finding cool songs on youtube...
1. am trying to get the guys to learn this one... here it is, phil & mark!!!

2 he's a tough lover -- whoooo!! etta does little richard! :)

3. this is from a cool-sounded project, AMERICANA WOMEN. i love her confident tilt of head & drawl... not to mention right-hand action, which i'll never have...

-> link to music box project & AMERICANA WOMEN:
4. go, bloodshot bill, the wildest cat out there! no vocal effects, no wimpy rockabilly, wail, man, wail!
5. a special song for me, featuring the best teen drummer i've ever heard:
... ok, i think i'm all digested now.
that sounds funny. :)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

kings (& queen) of the wild frontier... & some mushiness.

re wyoming band road trip: after hellishly long drive & my asthma attack (me saved by phil, mark, a rescuing-angel retired cop, & paramedics), we were treated like royalty at the absaroka state takeover car show... rooms, food, great payday, two slow-starting but super shows, saturday night ENCORE, for pete's sake, & drunkenly joyous, rowdy after-show-but-from-the-stage versions of johnny cash & jerry lee from moonshiners' car club pres & secretary, bros scott & john paul (handsome as movie stars, horsing-around friendly as one of your buddies from work)... this topped off by the phil's impromptu guitar god instrumental (apparently it was based on some AC/DC riff, heaven save us all). i wish to heck i'd had a video camera; you shoulda seen him & the band playing as the roaring-drunk crowd howled w/appreciation! except for the mark nearly peeling his entire hand off in blisters, the trip was fantastic, the long drive home going quite a lot smoother, me getting to know my friends much better. they are good fellows of great humor. :)
we rolled into bakoland in early morning hrs & the rest of the wk's been a bit of a blur except i got a frigging fantastic package of CDs & book "rock stardom for dumbsh*ts" from mel bergman of the phantom surfers/go-nuts... i mean, lord!! what a happy unexpected kick THAT was!... huge thanks to russ davidson, clint of the bozeman trail inn, & handsome scotty & the moonshiners' car club guys for hosting us & making us feel really dang special. i also thank the academy, as well as all the young women (& men) who approached me, hugged me, & told me how wonderful i was, including russ's beautiful wife. & i thank the folks in wyoming who looked at me like i just touched down from planet freakazoid, for they helped keep my ego in check. :)
i mean, WOW!! how does this amazing crap happen????
am hoping to get a copy of the radio show we did to excerpt here, if there's anything interesting there, that is... & that russ DOES come to bako & light this town up w/honky-tonks & great band offerings!
wouldn't that be swell, people? :)
last night was our 1st freeze here (in AUGUST!) & the lazy dogs just snuffled & snorted & wiggled in their little doggy-naps, & man, it's sure pretty outside. tonight's a fundraiser down (up?) in bako hosted by mom & dad for a young, idealistic school board candidate, which means i now must go find a socially acceptable, perhaps (if i'm lucky) somewhat attractive outfit.
this place is lovely, this life is lovely -- i just pray i don't think so cause things are going my way. some quotes from the bard:
- love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.
- they do not love that do not show their love.
- (& thoreau) there is no remedy for love but to love more.
i don't know where i'm going w/this... today, may we all be in its stream, & tomorrow ask again to take a swim, if there be no expectations attached to our request, that is...

Monday, August 16, 2010

absaroka state takeover car show, this wkend, bozeman trail inn, BIG HORN, WY!!

wheee! duh.. oooh... oh... aaah

- in a mind-blowing show of generosity, mama took my sister, niece & i on a trip to london & paris. overwhelmed w/how to deal w/the whole thing beforehand, i kept it low, didn't tell anyone. i felt so fortunate, but also that it somehow meant i must be stuck-up or spoiled.
- no, said others, you're merely fortunate & should feel grateful... which of course is correct. :)
- it was, as you'd maybe expect, a really nice trip, tho upon our return u.s. homeland security treated my little pink-cheeked niece, clutching her pooh bear even, like the unibomber (she had a wire in her garment), then seized the pate i'd bought for dad. (they considered it a gel. so i blurted, at the risk of being pummeled, "why don't you stick your finger in there & check for yourself?!?)
- "well, who knows: it could've been a pate explosive," sister angie later said, & added they probably took it to give to their girlfriends, which would serve them right bc pate is "nasty.") but before all this...
- i forgot my camera. duh. really, who goes to another continent & forgets the camera?!? what was most important was when friends reminded me, "this must've been the trip of a lifetime for your mother," & she did, indeed, say so. we bonded, us all, & doesn't life continue to have its wonders? :) ... mama was so, so happy, & so were my sister & i. in this case, i learned, giving back meant being able to receive such a gift graciously, w/o wallowing in some weird self-pity & guilt bc the whole world cannot take such trips.
- & now THIS wk is another trip, this time to wyoming w/the dusk devils. wyoming! - was encouraged when the promoter said, "i'm hoping it'll be a working vacation for you guys, so you can see some of the most beautiful country in the united states." wow! imagine!
- the guys came up (down?) yesterday to my place for the 1st time & we had absolutely a rip-roaring practice!! playing music together in my house w/the breeze blowing & the mountains all around & us 4 so tight-knit, crazy full of fun & grit, i got thrilled about this upcoming rd trip! can't wait now to travel there & & bust up the stage & meet some folks & see some land.
and wear a new dress, of course!! :)
- yes, this was quite a post-jetlag wkend... nine visitors! i love my friends & family, & the dusk devils. :) this a.m. i dropped off out front of the post office a very large package & went inside & FINALLY got the cookies & big beat of the '50s magazine memphis mike sent me a month ago. the cookies were still pretty good, tho crumbly, & i still can't believe we're on the cover of an australian mag that bears a pic of the johnny burnette trio!
- mike, kind, crazy fellow, is having a health snag, so please light a candle for him & send some special thoughts to this pittsburgh peach. :)
- today's of course the anniversary of elvis's death, & in memoriam, here's his beautiful effigy... a roman bust from the 2nd century AD! i think for this wyoming trip i will dye my hair blue-black in his honor.
cheers & happy happy to vous.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

july: roadtrip 2010

some pix got left off the slideshow. here's one.

below's the really important one, tho.

yep, 15 yrs, no drinkee. not that i didn't try in this past mad yr... so therefore i'm especially grateful for the good supreme spirit of the universe & all its earthly manifestations, animal, vegetable & mineral. may you be well, fellow manifestation.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

june: killer kern, biker friends, rockin' james, narducci's fun, nerds unite

1. rafted down the kern river the day after they let the water go from the isabella dam (we did not know this). as soon as we put in, rapids yanked the boat from shore & hats & my paddle were ripped away. we hit 3 big sections of rapids. i was scared sh*tless. i knew i was dead. after a few hrs, the water calmed considerably & there was a serene & still 20 mins or so as i drifted along cool river & lazily considered the riverfront mansions & deep green banks. then i saw river locks ahead – w/churning rapids!! i hurriedly got out & started the slog back to truck, cutting thru an oil lease & frying my hand pretty badly on a steam pipe. phil tells me later i was lucky i didn’t breathe oilfield gas & die immediately.
at gordon's ferry, the original ending pt, just past the locks, stood a comely tv reporter. a man had tried to go thru the locks i'd narrowly avoided & had drowned, his corpse found washed up under the bridge. usually the locks are passable bc the river is low. w/the dam opened up, the water level was much higher. he tried to make it anyway. the killer kern is aptly named. mama said she’d murder me if i ever went on water again w/o a life vest. i soberly agreed.
2. we played 2 shows in one day. how i love doing that, adrenaline junkie i still am. 1st was @ vinny’s opening for whiteboy james. i had to cover up head to toe due to being a bruised mess from moving & it was appallingly, punishingly hot that day, however what tremendous fun & what a positive success the event was. many people we knew were there, greeting us w/smiles, & what a happy thing that much of “our crowd” has become the bikers of oildale, not just upending some stereotypes but letting me know we’ve got folks watching our backs just in case (tho the phil’s one tough boy scout, & bet the other fellows are no slouches, either). our set was met w/happy cheering & laughing. and again, i looked out & saw women mouthing words to my songs!! how can that be???? i talked w/a swell guy named big e who looks like hoss cartwright... after our set, i was pulled out on the dance floor by all the gals & it was hot sweaty fun fun fun.
james arrived finally & started up, so cute, weird & wild, funny & obscene, in powerful voice, w/his heavy rockin jump & blues. a big flirt w/all, he mouthed to me “i love you” & i mouthed back “no, you don’t.” i don’t know how someone can drink so much beer, smoke so many smokes, & be so alive & powerful. his band was so tight & scott abeyta ripped & roared on that guitar. finally i had to head for the 2nd show & james walked me out & told me about voicing a video game that’s a huge hit in korea, he & his son going to video game conventions & korean people greeting him like a movie star… what an interesting life he -- & i – & we all! -- get to have!
3. the narducci’s show was fun, but of course, being the early openers (8 pm @ narducci’s, where no one shows up til 10!!), we had a small crowd. rick pinch-hitted for us on drums & did a swell job! elvis from 3 bad jacks sat in back & laughed @ end of “2 left feet,” he therefore being the only person we’ve played before who’s caught the hank ballard ending on that song. next was los creepers, big solid young guys from east la who played heavy psychobilly & were pleasant & polite offstage. we ate our free narducci’s meal & then james showed up w/kaykay & tanna! k books vinny’s & loves mick j & tanna is a big-hearted little biker gal. they were bummed to have missed our set. while 3 bad jacks played to an enthusiastic crowd, we all sat in back, laughing & roaring & doing parlor tricks, like wiggling ears & lifting eyebrows, then mark blew everyone away w/his cigarette stunt (you’ll have to ask him to demonstrate). the others smoked & drank while phil & i had our sodas, then the phil had to go so i just hung out til i couldn’t any more… drove home & crashed for a short while -- then in the early morning, james dropped by!  i was blown away to share great music & conversation at my place, as well as to hang out with a fellow mad & movie nerds (who left behind about 500 cigarette butts)!
4. more above... eventually...

Monday, July 19, 2010

rezamalution [sp]

tomorrow i will blog about the past month. it's been a long dang diddly time, as ned flanders would say.
for now i'll just put down, to -- i hope -- kickstart some cogitations & remembrances, that i'm sitting in my new mountain house-no-longer-dump, it's not 9000 degrees outside (as it is in pobre bakingfield), the windows are full of forest, the night sky's full of stars, the fridge is full of food, my head's full of sleepy next-to-nothing, & all that isn't what makes life good... however, no corpses after recent gigs & mondo texas car trip, still upright & breathing, not pushing up daisies, got a pulse & a chance, well, that DOES.
here's a pic of my friend james & i. we dusk devils have a chance to make a record on james's & his buddy, awesome guitarist scott abeyta's, label, if scott likes what we play. so our next band task, aside from solidifying an insane road trip to wyoming, of all the cotton pickin places on earth, is to get songs together for j&s. ORIGINAL songs is what james wants... ain't that a hoot? i can't stop smiling about it.
good night good night good night
good night

Thursday, June 17, 2010


arrrrrrgggghhhh!!! my fingers!!!!!!!!
i think i reherniated myself. i look like my sister, lover of mosh pits & martial arts: bruised bow to stern. how did i ever amass so many gd LPs, CDs, music equipment, movies, &, most of all, books??? (&, reminds randy, big shoes.) i should have been collecting granite all these yrs. it'd've be less agonizing to move. however, despite my pain & fatigue, & the possible pain/fatigue of all the loved ones who helped me, the home in the mountains is shaping up cozily (tho the outside still resembles a haunted house). waking up to a window full of national forest & robin's egg-blue sky, with cool clean breezes wafting thru the curtains, fills me with an even happier feeling than i ever imagined... ahhh; to be able to breathe is a wonderful thing.
i hope grandma mary's spirit doesn't take this as blasphemy: peace be with you.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

iiiii'm so vain...

oh boy, am so bushed... been moving, moving, moving. my old house, in which i now sit, is a lonely ghost containing scarcely more than this computer & i, while the new one, packed w/boxes, awaits me in another town & hops w/promise. i miss it! and i'm scared... i'm moving. but mountain retreat it will be, will be! &, of course, the only constant is change. shiver.
body's tahrd tahrd tahrd. want to make a pallet on the floor & crash, but there's nothing w/which to pallet. so i play bejeweled like a zombie & you know how one's mind wanders when fatigued & i realize there are 3 songs out there about me. not ones i THINK are about me, but really, truly about jenny. but it's irritating because 2 of the songs are sort of dirge-ish & self-pitying & really about the guy, not about me, this projection of what they think i be, when i'd prefer something sort of wildly fun, like "crazy baby," or weird & cool like "for the love of ivy," or soulfully anthemic, like "mona," or romantic, deep, & devoted like "(life's little) ups & downs," or at least about the me i think i am (but how could they know? i never tell them & they don't ask)... however, the 3rd of the songs is a really cool surfy-mysterious instrumental & i feel honored that it's about me, composed by a talented, towering texan w/these really cool hands that look biblical or sculpted by michelangelo...
yes, i'm feeling rather special until i realize that except for "the big g," i've written about 25,000,000 songs about guys. i don't know where this is going, so i'm going to make a pallet.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

screeds, songs, & poems: there was a little house on a hill w/a pretty white porch, little pink curtains, & a white picket fence.

and then it blew up.
-the above paraphrases a poem i plagiarized & had published in a literary magazine, i think at the JC level... amazing!... here's the other one:
-little birdy on the tree with lovely breast of red
-i brought the window slowly down & crushed its little head.
- certainly i stole that one, too, & now the sentiment horrifies me. the other day in a conversation about mad, my favorite rag when i was a child, this jerk i know sputtered, "i hate that magazine! i was this innocent little kid & it turned me into a smarmy smart-a** cynic!" ... the comment perturbed & disturbed me. did mad hip me to society's absurdity or turn me into a snickering lout?? yes, probably both. such Qs only are pondered by people like me: middle-class, spare-timing, fleet-fingered, monkey-minded. no one cares in kansas or kathmandu, nor anyplace else. as they should not.
-my friend candye, the big-hearted, beloved superstar, was dumped recently by a prickly romeo w/pretensions of intellect. she will heal & grow. if rather than move on to his next victim he also should grow, all will be bettered, for no one should live life as an a**hole. it disrespects not just others, but oneself & in the end can lead only to despair. to quote my friend, "i... have spoken." la vie continue.
- evidence of this is i started moving today, to the mountaintop dump-cum-abode. many friends helped! i couldn't stop smiling... how wonderful it is to be supported by others, making me want to do so in return. thanks to mighty philip, mighty randy, the amazon carly, strong patty, smiling mo, mom & dad, & the two young bucks who unloaded the truck on the FP end, nimbly tossing furniture into the house like footballs, or beers, or things much lighter than furniture. all saved me hrs & hrs of work & many bruises, sprained fingers, & sundry hurts. it was move, sweat, & food drink food all day, & i'm grateful to've had the scratch to make it happen. great fun it was to man the big u-haul w/patty & mo shotgun & happy conversation singing thru the cab, singing like my heart.
- tomorrow will be another load, then it's blow this popstand for cleaner air &, i hope, a new life of good health & happiness, w/frequent jogs to bakerspatch & &swellay as well as consistent visits from friends & family.
- lastly, our show tonight was cancelled last second!! i was solemnly prepared to move all day, then grimly (tho w/big dippy grin on my face) soldier thru 4-hours of gig w/my similarly dog-tired pals, entertaining the crowd thru our exhaustion, humble showpeople that we are... so now instead i sit in my near-naked pad, typing this nonsense.
- all club/bar/saloon owners who promise to pay a flesh-and-blood, practiced, entertaining, fun loving, hard-working band & then last-second pick DJs over musicians should be pantsed & trash-canned!!!!! ... to the devil w/said booze slinger. to da devil!!!
- well, time to sign off. HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL!! to quote alfred e, from the extraordinary & exalted flexi-disc 45, "it's a GAS!!!"!

Friday, May 28, 2010

joon shoze and un feliz dia -- un feliz fin de semana!!

june 4 - private event
june 5 - opening for LEE ROCKER at rockin' roots 2010, stramler park. see flyer below for details.
june 12 - element lounge, bksfld, all night long
june 26 - opening for WHITEBOY JAMES & THE BLUES EXPRESS, vinny's, bakersfield, details to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(no, dusk devils are not breaking up. in fact, when i move, i hope to get together w/musicos in smell - i mean, swellay! we shall see...)
que tengan un buen dia, mis amigos y queridos. :) :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

a long meditation on the horrors of leading a band that includes professional session players, a dd gig, & la vida sonsa

-the other day we got to play w/mark yeary, who truly is an awesome piano player! he has backed many, most famously merle haggard. his physicality & smoothness reminded me of gene taylor - hopping from island to island, square hands always perfectly balanced to attack the keys with strength, speed, & agility. when he sang, too, in a voice somehow both laid-back & energetic, his style still reminded me of gene the boogie-woogie king: muscular yet no effort wasted, soulful but w/lightness of touch. mark yeary is one swinging cat!
-i asked him to play some nola style songs & he did both roberta & some fats domino! his band was really solid, w/steve woods on guitar. two fellows well-known by all but me played trumpet (wow!!!!! a tall man named john...) & saxophone (we did honky-tonk w/him, an elderly fellow probably famous except to this know-nothing). later in the night, ray mcdonald strolled in & smoothly crooned some merle songs...
-i found out i'm not a band leader except w/dds. when you're talking about a band that's practiced only in certain tunes, then you're expected as a unit to follow, there're just too many carcasses to haul thru the mud on a tune that's unknown by even one poor soul.
-yes, mark yeary, the fantastic & famous pianist, wanted me to lead. my playing already was suffering bc i was nervous to play in front of him! but he kept looking @ me to kick it off & i kept looking at him hoping he'd kick it off. some songs would've been great if we didn't do 95 go-arounds, but i wanted to be sure everyone got a chance on every flippin' song. see how polite i am??? there were 85 musicians on the stage & i wanted to give each one a go-around... the set groaned... finally, phil, dear man, stepped in & pulled everyone out of the drink. yes, he's more portable, but his musical direction was also more adept (not to mention he can pull any style out of his can, like a human jukebox). i just wanna go fast! in the presence of fine musicians (except dds), such as folks playing music w/thrilling-to-watch but terrifying-to-accompany finesse, my star does not glimmer or shimmer. it just gets dimmer. and i feel dumber. like a bummer.
- enough already on this; i know. but rats. and dang! still, we all were honored to be around such great musicians... that trumpet just killed me!! i truly had no idea that this kind of & quality of music was going on in bako! i will go back again - to watch! and i think phil will have little problem sitting in... go to julie's branding iron 3rd friday of each month to catch this swell show. it'll just kill you!!
- now here's a flyer for our next show (corrected for a 3rd time!). we also have a private deal on june 4 & a few more pending. i might be moving, but we're not dead, no sir!! one possibility's such a kick. a kick! i'll reveal its secret @ later date... bwahaha
-this eve, my doggies are here (they finally laid down to rest after the border collie spent the 1st hr here bouncing like a jumping bean); i've started packing a tad; the mountaintop residence is turning into an actual abode rather than dump bringing horror to my loved ones; my dear cousin's coming in this wkend from tx; i "get to" make an amend in lotusland (character building & soul-clearing, i hope). next wk, the last of school, i'll hope to have a library party. am gonna miss those kids so much. hope i don't start blubbering too much. wouldn't want my dear students to cry even one tear, not a one. i hope i'll always remember them, least as long as i'm on this wild blue.
washington irving: "there is a sacredness in tears. they are not the mark of weakness, but of power. they speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. they are messengers of overwhelming grief... & unspeakable love.”