papa alpha india november sierra uncle charlie kilo sierra....ppphhhhhtttthhh!!!

awesome evening last summer -- 1st time brian p had seen james & his blasting band... i didn't know i was gonna film this til the song started & i realized w/a start what a gas we all were in for. this is one of james's own compositions; like me, but even more so, he is a train nut, so to combine that theme w/blues seems natch for him.
well, how are you? my guts are killing me; this must be what labor feels like. i've accomplished next-to-nothing in the past few days: some household chores, larry sanders marathon, surfing net, catching up on old new yorker mags, each moment out of bed being so much toil... oh, this cursed pain. arrghhh. i realized 30 mins ago two of my friends are suffering horrible stomach pain, far worse than mine; is it the stars? coincidence? worry about friends? psychosomatic? "that bug that's been going around?" pain's the body's alert system: we are out of homeostasis! do something before the ship explodes!! sometimes i know, tho, recovering from illness just takes time. the "do something" means lie low, stupid, & rest. owwwwww...
bill cosby's joke (paraphrased): "my wife told me, 'would you like to know what labor is like?' 'yes,' i said, 'i would,' so she tells me, 'well, take hold of your bottom lip,' 'uh-uh, ok, i'm doin it, honey, what's next...' 'now pull it over your head...'"
we used to listen to bill cosby records all the time when we were kids, especially the routines "go carts," "chickenheart," and "tonsils." i'm comforted remembering all this. nearly anything can be made funny -- hence kenneth mars' character in "the producers," or singers like james who take the real blues of living & transform it into something wild & astonishing, or a thousand other examples of tears of pain becoming tears of laughter & joy via the alchemy of comedy... some might argue, in fact, that humor derives from pain, but that don't wash w/me as an absolute. whatever your take on it, i do believe that blessed is he who laughs, but even more blessed is he(she) who makes another laugh... time to go lie down. and watch something funny. if i'm lucky, on a whoopee cushion. :)

tweedeedeedeedeedle-eedee / "the greatest wealth is health" (virgil)

- was surprised to find this video on youtube! it's the only one i've seen where i'm clearly reading words as i sing (taped to the piano) - now i know i need to smile more when i'm doing that! was happy, tho, to hear my voice problems at that time weren't too apparent.
-please watch & rate the video (if you like it, that is) :)
-another on youtube from that same night also is under sofein's videos... if you will, please watch & rate it, too (again, if you like it, that is...) :)

-speaking of sofein, was sposed to lunch w/him yesterday in frazier pk, where i went bc 1) had no doctor's appts yesterday; & 2) have concluded i must move from bakersfield before summer hits if i'm to continue to live... looking back on this blog, i realize i've been sick now for SIX YEARS (tho probably longer, since this blog only goes 5 or so)!! i've had to conclude my poor health is due to the filthy air here, unfortunately, since i do love so much about backwardsfield, tho it's like a bad relationship, as i've said, one you can't get rid of but sometimes surprises you by being a real good time... art is going thru bereavement following the recent passing a very dear friend, grief that expressed itself in his back, so staying home in his hollywood bed, he was able to rest & i was able to be super-busy w/realtors. i was delighted by the variety of properties in frazier park! - left w/a feeling of real excitement. ideally, w/a place there, i'll be close enough to bako to see family, loved ones, doggies, dusk devils (& maybe find a band in socal, too!) & still live in a place where i can jog, hike, maybe rest & find peace, but most importantly, GOOD HEALTH!!!!
- found out the other day too that i have a bona fide "other" health condition besides thyroid & sinus/allergy problems... it was sort of a shameful moment of realization, but now, like realizing & facing alcoholism, i can accept a solution. some say "there are no accidents"... i dunno bout that, but perhaps all this bad health news will lead to a better & happier life for me & those who care about me.
- i agree 100% w/the following: "in order to change, we must be sick & tired of being sick & tired" (unknown) or, put another way, "to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey" (proust).
-a few more truths & jewels: "joy and temperance and repose / slam the door on the doctor's nose" (longfellow).
- "diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body" (cicero).
- "a good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book" (irish proverb).
- and lastly, for myself & for you, if this be your problem, too, i second that "mens sana in corpore sano" (your prayer must be for a sound mind in a sound body) (juvenal). rock, rock, rocknroll, the feeling is there, body & soul...

let's get out of here, now, with a little bit of this stuff here

(mark made this flyer)... re title: name that EP; it's the best EP ever pressed, ever... show starts 530, we're on at 830. been so sick, can't waste one iota of mojo... let's rock; everybody, let's rock...

john updike, rip; the blush of 1st dawn creeps, the morning dew, it chills , &

gud morgen. wie gehts? bleh. it seems so uncivilized to be up every day before the sun, like right now. shouldn't a person wait? after you? el sol: the king: seems almost impertinent to go 1st - but obviously i'm being ridiculous & also very bourgeoisie cause how many people have no choice?? so i justify since at this life-stage i am privileged & therefore can say i just don't like it... john updike died this wk. in undergrad days (ha - so snobby, that sounds) i loved updike, which was weird bc he wrote mostly so specifically about the frustrations of the american male. maybe it's cause i've always thought i was sposed to be male, but that 2nd chromosome just kept growing (boy, it IS early) (tho i think many females feel that way here & there, since the society's built for the view of & to appease the male)... i loved updike's specificity, the way he caught the ugliness & shimmer of everyday life. i guess that's that.
good gravy; hurry up, toast.
what the heck am i doing on here? waiting for my toast, drinking coffee, standing up thinking then i'll type less that way, typing at this ridiculous, cumbersome, child-sized keyboard, trying not to feel sick... needed to check if the fellows could do a gig (they didn't call back; story of my life) (well, phil did, good old philbert) & must save time! must always save time! oh, i hate those metaphors; makes going thru life (there's another one) seem like empty commerce. stressful!
- well, at top are lyrics for a song i wrote but i pulled from esnips bc it's for a male to sing. so of course i tried to sing it, but there's no amount of smoking or forced coughing that can bring my vox down to the appropriate register. so it's gone. but i was pleased w/the weird little storyline of this one, called "when they find me," kind of a gothic unrequited love thingy set in a delano grape vineyard, like maybe even the one that used to be in front of our grandparents' house, & the pleasing thought that a story CAN be told in a 2-min song. i've known it, just never w/story so fully in my head. since then, there've been a few more, & maybe the band will learn some of them, but if we don't, i have them, & they keep coming, like little gifts (tho sometimes it's a necktie or a lump of coal).
toast's ready. i hope my skull & sinuses stop burning.

why i don't write poems

trying to do research / drinking my milk malted / hearing the dogs snoring / gories, blasters, little walter / my toe's a little rainbow / tho the black & blue's receding / and i'm a real expert at / avoiding heavy reading / burma shave
**
-> kafka's "metamorphosis" (http://www.mala.bc.ca/~Johnstoi/stories/kafka-E.htm)
-> wikipedia analysis (interesting section: "lost in translation" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Metamorphosis)
-> mark twain's very funny "the awful german language" - http://www.kombu.de/twain-2.htm)... this one's a dainty-deterrent, i think. don't drink milk while reading it. :)
***
(two days later)(i should have broken a finger instead of a toe, i think)
- a didactic ode to my idols -
axolotl / little lizard / always keeps its youthful shape / is the human it resembles / young & vital or a flake? / the culture sells that 16 / is the only place to aim / but it's futile sad L7 / chasing sameness, botox, fame / so to the critics, give the bird / and grow by staying green / life's short, be weird, & speak your truth, / you rock boppin' machine