yaaaaaayyy!!!

the other day i started cleaning up a local school's library. it's gonna take maybe two weeks, but after that, i'll volunteer to have the library open for students. this library's been closed officially so long, i found schoolbook covers where the most recent u.s. president pictured is dubya (or as the late, great molly ivins called him, shrub)! digging thru the dust-laden teacher materials, i shivered w/deja vu, uncovering stuff i used when a new teacher (over 20 years ago!)... then, forging deeper into the ancient caves that are this library bookroom's cupboards, i dug out books from when i was a child... 40 YEARS AGO!!
"they were supposed to discard that stuff!" angie teacher-sister said, mildly horrified. yes, i know: decades ago! the artifacts got even older: sentence & grammar microfilm rolls we used when i was a kid, & they were old THEN. i remember feeding the same little plastic strips into a small, heavy, avocado-green-&-gray metal projector. another two kids & i each year were the ones who helped the teacher, so we did stuff like that -- otherwise, we were done w/our work w/nothing to do but get in his or her hair... next, a set of texts, workbooks & teachers' editions... from 1970. and finally, the piece de resistance: a state-issued textbook -- again, never discarded, -- from 1963. title: great negroes in history.
as you might cotton, it's huge baffling, exhausting fun excavating & organizing this library, & i relish going back! the funny part is, i've been so, so ill, but after six hours squatting, lifting, climbing, & carrying, i felt better! this heavy task prompted a return to improving health. after all, move it or lose it, right? it applies, apparently, even when you don't believe you CAN move. my lesson: when struck down by sickness, i must get up & go anyway, w/moderation in the beginning, but then full steam ahead as soon as possible! if you're sick right now, as yourself: what moves/exercise/activities am i capable of trying? don't just sit there: move, even if it's just your little toe! next time it can be your whole foot. then your leg. you get the picktcha!

oh mama mia, papa pia, james is SO HANDSOME!!!!

we played thursday at shenanigans in long beach & it was a pretty great time tho i was wiped-out afterward from the mantle of having to do so much musical work. i've realized set list be damned: just follow james. that's a good credo for me musicially, anyways: i gotta be ready to play different styles in different keys. then we did some songs on which we harmonize: we'd never agreed they were ready, so i was shocked he called them out. they sounded cool!! -- and my husband smiled as we sang, & wow: what could be better.
i talked a lot w/steve kida drummerman on breaks, & whatta guy! he's got some interesting ideas about all of our mutual musical futures; we'll see what happens! then beautiful carla, friend & fan, took this cool picture... we do make a visually-interesting lineup, in my mind, &  that always helps, since it IS called a SHOW!
en route home we hit the highest winds i've ever experienced, up to 65 mph gusts! spooky to be dragged into a different lane by mother nature's current, even w/hands wrenching the wheel against it to try to stop it. stop! stop! coming up the hill into our little mountain town, we were hit by a howling, seething blast that sprayed dirt & rock into the windshield for 10 seconds like something from a disaster movie! once we were home, the banshee winds blasted the house, screaming & sighing, the house shaking in protest. wow! it's easily & immediately sobering to remember one's own smallness & lack of ultimate control in these situations...
yesterday i got picked up at the 5 to go to the getty in malibu w/mom, dad, angie. we met niece madeline, who at 22 already is gonna be entering a master program at calarts or riverside. the family scholar! go, maddy, go! the neatest things i saw were the herb garden as well as ancient glass, but most was wasted on me bc i was so, so, so, so tired!! last night i stayed back, ostensibly to rest, while james went south for another gig, but instead i got a 2nd wind & recorded five songs i want him to hear... yes! so thrilled to record music after many months!
just reread this & realize how mundane it is. blablablablablablabla. oh well; life's short, so have your fun! for me, fun often entails blablablablaing, so there you go. i guess you wouldn't've read this far if you didn't want to!
go forth & find your fun.
ciao for now.

point of no return, jenny & the phantoms

the vagabond kitty just woke me up... crash!! but did she catch a mouse? oh, noooo! anyways, so here are 5 songs to listen to, recorded aug 15, the best i do on my own w/no patience, no guitarist, & no professional playing/production. great pumpkin bless online video converter programs for enabling me to compress & upload this mac-created beast, which in original form was an enormous file! (btw, james wrote one verse of "21 days"!)

earlier i got my behind up from the sick bed to go to the post office, where saw my 1st jerusalem beetle -- a fat shiny shelled monster! -- parked hissingly (tho they really don't hiss) right by our box! their name also is "nino de la tierra" or child of the earth insect... weird! creepy! my sister gulped in text, sent a pic, "what is THAT?!?"... james & friends from socal readily identified it -- guess they're common there, tho i don't think in the central valley... yech... glad i didn't step on it. not only wouldn't i have, just cause it was such an unusual sight for me, but bc it would've made an enormous squish, plus i read they emit a smell like a diaper, PLUS james said they deliver a nasty bite!
well, that's the huge excitement of today (yesterday); hoping tomorrow (today) to feel weller [sic]...

do not ignore the hand... the hand of fate... mwahahahahaha!!!

(the video i mention below was too long & i fear pretty boring, so i deleted it to redo later... in the vid, i talked about fun things we've done lately, being blown away by phil alvin's voice at the music goes bang! festival, seeing dear donna, then meeting james's eccentric & fascinating friend stanley... also mentioned the upcoming rockin blues festival in kernville, ca & showed a bunch of books as well as paper mache skull head, metal pugilist toy, james's black clay hand sculpture,  casper the friendly ghost lamp he got me, & played song of mine i wrote in '12 based on something really cool he told me at that time... well, now no need to redo video! :D )
typing this on james's computer as a video uploads... james's computer is so much nicer than mine, which is a real viejo! really should get another, but change, tho the only constant, is such a mudda, not to mention i'm a luddite as well as my dad's daughter: a tightwad!...
what's up? all here is well, swell, copacetic, peachy, sometimes crappy, mostly happy, yes, geez, life is nice! (now picturing kermit thee frog).. i've been getting to teach english at the local library! i love love love it! i love the people who show up to learn english! i'm getting to know the other teacher, & we've got the same positive philosophy about doing this! my spanish is about as good as the students' english, so that makes it doubly fun! it's free, so if you know any adult who wants to learn english, contact the library! next i'm trying to get some actual-dinero work w/the library, practicing my dewey, hoping for a place to show up regularly so i can use my brain more as well as get some dough here & there... been trying to cook some, be more domestic: yes, we're having some success in the happy home department, i think, me & him! mom & dad visited today: nice meal, smiley visit; they oohed over how much work we've done in the yard; james beamed proudly & gigged mama hilariously (she loved it)... we've been vegging out a lot w/the roku: little rascals, andy griffith, old movies... the other night we watched sling blade... why didn't bbt ever make anything else of worth???... reminded me how likeable john ritter was... james, of course, came away from the viewing w/a killer impression of carl (bbt's character)... we also've been getting a kick outta watching the office, which james's never seen... and that reminds me of two great movies we saw about voice acting, which we both still hold hopes of pursuing: in a world (comedy, available on redbox) & i know that voice (documentary, available on netflix)... blablablablablablablablablablabla
wish this thing would upload.
and now, a little song (you'll have to imagine the melody):
chingachinga, chingachinga, chingachingachingachingachingachinga
(no, not the mexican nasty chinga, but imagine a little streetcar or a small hammer hitting a tiny bell before a liliputian fight)

don't go, jenny & the phantoms

whoo hoo! i finally found an online video converter could use to upload public domain video footage into windows movie maker! my computer is ancient, so it's taken some doing... so happy! now i can make crude actual videos, instead of the mere "slide shows" (said madeline) i used to be stuck with making due to lack of video footage... i wrote this song about a year ago, if i remember, then recorded it when we lived in southern cal, using sticks & tambourine, book & hand palm for drums. the rhythm's rickety here & there, but this is one of james's favorite songs i've written & it does have a certain visceral oomph, so here it is & hope you enjoy.

here's the video program i found -- it has some creepy pop-ups, but just close them & it won't mess up your computer (least it hasn't this dinosaur -- keeping fingers crossed!) may you have fun w/it, as i just did for the past few hrs! online video converter

together again...

-> taking a break from unpacking... this whole moving week's been an exhausting blur of backbreaking labor, mental strain, frustration, sitting around waiting, fatigue-induced blubbering spells, & the payoff -- exploring & hanging out w/my husband last night, a time of fun, elation, freedom, romance & possibility. what a mix! what a rollercoaster! and we're coming off this ride worn-out but just fine, even exhilarated & ready to ride more. stronger, safer, & more alive! thank you, james... (refer to ike & tina song)
-> a song keeps waltzing around my brain & it brought up memories... i wonder if the older i get, the more memory takes over til if i'm not watchful, i'm permanently lost in it, not present cause the mental hard drive's so filled up w/data? hope not; hope to stay awake & alive; hope the ever-thickening panoply of remembrances will add layers of life-experiences allowing ever-deepening wisdom & appreciation rather than drooling absent-mindedness... please tell me you think about this stuff, too???
-> anyways, many lives ago in bakersfield, i was in the employ of a country-western tv star-singer who called me up to his office cause he heard thru his son i played piano. he asked if i wrote songs & at that time i had a grand total of two -- didn't start songwriting much til a few yrs after i sobered up. i was too intimidated to play anything in front of the old man -- even tho the beautiful grand in the office did provoke in me a longing, i was a crappy musician in those days & knew it. i was way more interested in getting loaded than playing piano, & while i've always been able to plunk out melodies & could even then, blind drunk or high, i couldn't coordinate my hands to do anything even a bit more technical, tho i would try sometimes. how embarrassing to recall the faces of puzzled friends trying to be polite, no doubt thinking to themselves, i thought she said she could play piano? and maybe even, oh g*d, she sucks!! she must be cracked to have said she knew how to play!! ...ah, my delusional, idiotic youth!  :D
-> anyways, back to the story, years later i was told that the old man's office was bugged so he could steal songs, which now that i type it, sounds kinda paranoid, but the old man was both a really good & really terrible guy, from my experience & understanding, both philanthropic & downright mean, so maybe it was true... i've heard stories since about other artists of high repute, some of my musical heroes, even, who rip off songs from others. so disappointing, but i guess laziness & greed (& possibly desperation from creative drought) of this kind is part of some human's nature... even if that human's a million-record seller!
-> my old friend ruben, late of east la's the blazers, told me to do a poor man's copyright after i finally put out my 1st batch of songs in the early '00s -- "then if someone steals one of your tunes & makes money on it, you go after 'em!" he said, grinning. what you do is, you record your compositions, seal them in an envelope, then mail them back to yourself, leaving the package unopened. i did it, & one tune DID get recorded... my payment? i got a CD containing the guy's version of the song. the rest of the songs i've written, hundreds of them, sit in drawers & boxes around here. yeah, i'm sure not getting rich off songwriting, but on the other hand i still've got the creative satisfaction of having written them as well as the considerable pleasure & gratitude of knowing this desire lives in me & continues to produce... do what you love, love what you do...
-> anyways, i keep thinking of one of buck owens' lovelier songs as i unpack, wondering now if he even wrote it, & if he didn't, who did? did someone someplace write these lyrics, then get ripped off by mister o? if so, i hope their pride in having written something beautiful soothes the what-must-be horrible pain of having a baby stolen...
-> together again / my tears have stopped falling / the lone, lonely nights / are now at an end / the key to my heart / you hold in your hand / and nothing else matters / we're together again / together again / my gray skies are gone / you're back in my arms / back where you belong / the love that we knew / is living again / and nothing else matters / we're together again
-> ok, back to unpacking... may you have a day, & then another, & then another... :)

arghh!! yayy!!

yesterday we missed being part of this year's elvis show, but finally got to visit max at the hospital.  thank you, art fein, for inviting us to be part... maybe next year, we hope! how encouraging it was to see max spring from bed, severely gaunt, "a skeleton trying to jump out of a man," as he said, but eyes bright & spirits high. he knows about the gerson cure (www.gerson.org) & has friends already who are having him juice, & if soul can restore health, max will be restored... then we ate at our favorite long beach restaurant & as we strolled back to the car in the night, i snapped this pic for max  from a beautiful window display; he'd said next time we visited to bring him a flower, so why wait? we looked at baubles in the window, i oohed & ached (i'm not very girly, but i DO love glittery things; donna used to crow, "kaw! kaw!"), we came back here & i recorded 2.5 songs i've written, until it was too late in the eve to be able to continue... later in the eve, we watched "the office" & i became obsessed, as i do periodically, w/RL stevenson's "open letter to rev. dr. hyde" (http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/281) & read it out loud at such length, poor james was driven outside for a while, i think, then this morn brought james to long conversation w/his long-time sober lawyer uncle, the one who was friends w/elvis (he actually has several family members who were friends with the king) & has called me "his cousin bettie page" (yes, she's a family cousin) & i made breakfast burritos & there i go, blablablaing again... a quote from stevenson's novella: “quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. ”  

"after the storm, our love is gonna rise…"

james went visiting, so i decided to start laying down demos for my proposed CD. i have 14-15 songs in mind, mostly in order, so i did the first one, one he calls "old-timey," using the cajon drum box he got me for our anniversary. it produced a heartily satisfying thump! my snare's at the mountain home, so i just added sticks & high-hat, then piano part & "bass," which was fun to experiment with, finally vocals. james came back just as i finished, so he listened thru headphones, breaking into a strut, which tells me the tune moves. i'm so happy when recording; the hours fly by & i'm lost in musical & creative reverie. "let me know if i can help you," he said, but the thing is, i tend to write parts & arrange as i go… the other night we on-the-fly ended up debuting our duo for a pilot (in more than one way) audience. the group of about 10 men was quite happy, gracious & enthusiastic; james & i walked away with more cash than we would've with the whole band on a weeknight! i really liked how james sang "when i get like this," the 5 royales tune we both so love; he belted it out so beautifully!… maybe we'll do it again. i hope so. right now we have a poll going on facebook asking for requests for duo name. some responses, most being plays on "page," are quite funny!
meanwhile, i hope before the eve's over to do a quick demo for a tune i wrote yesterday… happy sunday & tomorrow, thank you to all you vets, foremost for me (wouldn't you know it) james.

songs & the truth

i've written more songs since falling in love with james than i've ever written at one time. a bunch for a while i couldn't attribute to him: we each were very unhappy in the love dept when we met, & tho we just held the torch for one another for quite some time, eventually we could not stop ourselves from falling in love, & that quickly for me became something wondrous & amazing: i was inspired to write, write, write songs & to hope that life could be much better... he wrote some for me, too, & those will appear on his new CD... yep, we aren't unlucky in love any more, not at all, & the only certainty is, life ever-changes... if you feel hopeless in some area of your own life, know that just around the corner might be heartache, as johnny cash wrote, but also there might be a miracle.

"baby, you're a song writin' machine!"

for a few yrs, i didn't write many songs -- just sad stuff... the only good one that came out was "just wanna boogie," tho i like that one quite a bit, i must say! shortly after writing it, i played & sang it for my friend & he retorted, "tell your band i said if they don't do that song, they're f**kin' stupid!" :) the dry spell's ended for a bit, & lately songs've just been pouring out! i don't know from whence they come, but i am so happy. :)
here's two from the last two days...
MEDDLERS: she's the problem, not you, baby / he's the problem, not me, baby / they need to get out of the way / they need to get gone & stay / this ain't jealousy, you & i just need to be free of these meddlers, meddlers, meddlers... / he needs to respect his place / she needs to get out of my face / i like em all just fine / til they get out of line / it's a matter of respect / they won't have no teeth left, these meddlers, meddlers, meddlers... / where do they get off, anyways, thinkin they can step in & make a play? / what makes all of these fools think they can get between us, anyway? / they don't know you or me, & we like it that way, honey / no amount of their stupid games can mess with us, no charms or money, meddlers, meddlers, meddlers... / i trust you, you trust me / its a new thing for us, you see / we like em all a lot as long-as / they give us room, & don't bug-us / just show some respect & fun / don't come up & act all dumb, don't be a meddler, meddler, meddler...
DO YOU FEEL IT, TOO? is that him? is that the one i've been waitin' for? / i see him looking at me w/a gaze that i adore / we ain't met in the real flesh til this night so neat / it's the start of a real friendship, something oh so sweet / i stepped out of the darkened club, & he seemed to be / standin right there with a big ol' smile, looks like he's waitin for me! / we talk oh so easy just like we have known each other forever / how can someone oh so cool be also so cute & clever? / then he said, do you, do you, do you feel it, too? my heart said yes, it's true / do you, do you, do you feel it, too? i fell so hard for you / thru the night, while we stood & talked, he was trying hard to see / was i there all by myself, or which man was there with me? / when i look back on this fateful night, i see signs from the beginning / we fast friends eventually would send each others' souls & hearts a-spinning, then he said, do you, do you, do you feel, it, too? my heart said, yes, it's true! do you, do you, do you feel it, too? i fell so hard for you!

pinetop, yancey, & pete, meade lux, ammons reborn

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this is my new song about something i have sometimes imagined late @ night while sitting in the music rm. finished it at 3 am, then being a dork (& whacked-out tired), immediately emailed it to some of the world's greatest roots-american music musicians before relistening & realizing one piano solo was off. this is the fixed version, the best i could do! one cool thing i figured out was to split the one analog track into 2, then put a 0.001 lag on one side, which gave it a(n) (i think) neat echo! i hope you like it.

he was a boogie-woogie boogy boogy man

-> some say words alone mean little: divorced from sound, emanating from higher brain, they're less "real," spontaneous, more studied, more potentially ironic... i don't care! i lean toward primitivism, too, like only the fortunate do when such a bent is not intrinsic, but to the devil w/what inhibits fun! plus i like my little story here & hope you do, too. :) wrote it mon night, played on it yesterday (but gita's bd song & extreme squirreliness were higher list), recorded it tonight, hope to mix it tomorrow. my stupid right hand is a real bummer... yet i have such piano-playing fun!!! :) :) :) if i have your email address, i likely might spam the "music" to you once done... cheap, fast, sizzling, salty, sweet spam... (insert homer simpson drool)

BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN
i was just sitting on a night all too same
outside an owl kept on calling my name
i could tell that it was getting real late
i finally whispered, mr. owl, why frustrate?
i was just sitting watching the shadows creep
the way they move real slow when the hour's deep
the black of night-time parted, i stood and said
who goes there, spirit, and are you alive or dead?
IT WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(pete johnson-style piano solo)
he warmed up with the fives, of course in "c"
the shades began to swirl as he bewitched the keys
i saw the specters smile as he went round the horn
pinetop, yancey, and pete, meade lux, ammons reborn
HE WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(ammons-lewis style piano)
he rocked and rolled those ivories til dawn was near
the room transformed into a juke joint without peer
8 to the bar, hop, jump, stride, shuffle he did play
the morning shade flew up, he vanished in the day
HE WAS A BOOGIE-WOOGIE BOOGY BOOGY MAN (2x)
(closing piano)

TROUT'S sat june 28; SAFARI SAM'S sun july 6

we'll be on at 7 pm!!!
we'll be on from 12:30 pm-2 pm!!!
on other notes: r.i.p., george carlin, whose cynicism never fully hid a hopeful & idealistic heart; ... in austin, i had the most wonderfully quenching & delicious drink, tho i don't know the proportions: combine crushed ice, coca-cola, cream, & vanilla syrup. the result: a cocablanca. heaven!!!!... finally, phil & mark are contributing song ideas!! (artistic mark also made the top flyer... cool!) what a happy thing this band is lately!! :) now we just need time to actually learn our new songs we're writing, & to play more shows, too! :) these are what i would call "golden problems," most definitely...

"i wear the black for the poor & beaten down..."

i thought our grandpa, a retired kern county sheriff's deputy, was johnny cash (& that muhammed ali & elvis were the same person). this seeming dumbness has puzzled me a little. then in today's paper, they announced a new dvd set from cash's tv show, which my family used to watch, & i realized that i was an infant & toddler when it was on!
our grandpa did look like j.c. i wish i had a picture. 6'4," large-framed, curled lip, weary, wary, but kind eyes, square jaw, solemnly handsome. grandpa just LOOKED like a 1950s detective, the "good cop" who'd bust up the bad guy in the last reel cause he had to, or a hero, or... johnny cash.
"man in black" & "sunday morning coming down" always make me cry. cash's dignified gravitas, gentle humor, bravery, & social conscience touched many (tho i guess with friends he was a real prankster!). he was a "unifier of opposites" more than any public figure before or since. reds & blues loved him equally. if more like him existed, people would realize that their separations are surfaces! an army of johnny cashes could bring the world together, tho "army" is the wrong metaphor, & there was & only ever will be one j.c.
i hope i can go out & get that box set.
man in black video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfI9B8e9tW4
man in black lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnnycash/maninblack.html