exhilaration & gratitude

so fortunate to be able to feel. music, children & the good humans of this earth, flowers, the outdoors, nighttime & dawn, wit & kindness, exercise bringing immediate endorphin rush: i have a feeling dial, & it's near-always at max. when sadness hits, it's a tsunami that feels like drowning. but when i'm happy, boy am i happy & can feel rapturous life, & wow. :) yesterday the band came over & we hacked away for a few hrs as the neighbors twirled around on their bikes & one came over to say they liked the music, then i drove out to the 1st summer series past hart pk & there were 100s of other folks there! we started out slow as cattle, all packed together, then spread out & it was half uphill, a slow climb, all dirt, warm but w/a refreshing breeze blowing, & kenny walker from my school, who used to run competitively, coached me on my stride. near the top of the grade, endorphins hit in a happy blast & the rest of the evening was gliding bliss; nothing could dampen the perfect feeling i had. i am so grateful for last night. :)
- here are pix from paul a, who used to have andy noise records in bako forever: http://www.andynoise.com/btc-summer-series-09.html i come in on pg 7 or so & have to say tho my legs're all beat up from moving, i've got the coolest shirt of the bunch (gun club fire of love). lou, the paulsens, kenny, all were there & what a beautiful, wonderful experience!
- near-nothing's as lovely as running, i don't think; it's top-5 for me & i can't wait to do it more & get stronger. we finished as dusk descended & noshing on bagel hunks & drinking gatorade & standing around yacking i thought, man, in the midst of sadness, to get to do this stuff certainly seemed blessed. twilight fell in melancholy blush & then evening came cool & clear; took a drive to ethel's for hotdogs & watermelon (all kinds of people from the run were there), then a nighttime drive up round mtn road & found a quiet spot & pulled over & walked down this white, weedy arroyo & crouched in the dirt & listened to the night & the stars & i am lonely but feel lately that wild adventure i had in my youth, tho w/o the aberrance & craziness that most often used to be me... this, too, shall pass.
- may today some or much exhilaration & gratitude be yours... will have a very important mtg today, have no expectations, but do hope it will result in the least pain & most closure & relief for all.