happy holidays, happy holidays, the merry bells are ringing, happy holidays to you!

tho mind's running faster than fingers, will try to write a bit... how are you? how are your holidays? mine have been wunderbar, wunderbar... dad had his 1st book published & it's now listed on amazon; angie's now going steady w/her guy; good news all-around for the family... (ok -- now what?) ummmm... uhhh.... went for a wonderful christmas run yesterday morn up here in NE bako. the winter low-sun was warm on my back & the sky a blue-enough to suffuse the morn w/happy hue. as i jogged along the hilly streets, people came in & out of houses & cars bearing armloads of gifts, & what a nice thing it was to call christmas greetings to strangers & smile & share holiday cheer... then back at our folks' house, we had a feast of enchilada-, corn-, & chile relleno casseroles, rice & beans, tamales & flan... the rest of the day was a blur as i passed out from caloric overload... this morning brings pix from the christmas show the other night w/karling abbeygate. it was the most satisfying musical experience i've EVER had, playing a dusk devils set that went so, so bright & happy-well, then getting back up to do a set w/karling's LA band (& me!). we'd "practiced" a few hrs earlier, karling w/no mike, the bar full of patrons & horrid piped music, trying to hear what we were doing but not too able to do so, but then when we did the actual set, my fingers seemed to know where to go, for the most pt, & it was my 1st time doing a basically unprepared set & having success! karling kept throwing me solos & bob the guitarist would nod w/approval... i felt i belonged! then we took a break & karling's bakersfield band went up -- brian p, cesareo, AJ & i (&, of course, donnie, karling's partner). we SLAMMED that set. we rocked! people cheered & hooted & yelled! karling whooped & laughed & her eyes shone. she liked what i & we did! :) all eve, i got so many compliments on my playing. after i told dad, he commented, "you discovered competence you didn't know you had." i think that was it! grateful, i realized it was a real merry christmas present to me, to be pt of the music thru-out the night, playing well, & discovering i could go beyond what i've done & maybe can be a musician, not just an entertainer. what a happy experience. thank you!
can't wait to play again, next wk w/becky, then again w/karling, & soon after w/dusk devils, now w/super-nice drummer stevo, w/back-ups ready to go... from karling, i realize i don't have to have ONE line-up; from becky, i realized i MUST, however, play w/people who are not just well-adjusted enough to get along w/others, but enjoy the music. i know fabulous musicians who play this stuff w/ardor & gusto; there's no room for those who claim to be bored by it. they must go, & from now on, they will, immediately. now i know there are plenty who will take their places! life's too short to play music w/people who don't get this...
that's enough for now. :) happy holidays to all!

showshowshowshowshowshowshows

man, i've had some serious writer's block! life has been busy, busy, busy! i am an official itinerant now, by my definition, tho not a vagabond or migrant. too much to elaborate upon! birds, mountains, road trips, gas stops, yard art, "new" brat from oregon, hotels, restaurants, meetings, hot springs, candye, james, karling, becky, brian paxton, new music, new drummers, friendly dd lineup, family, fans (!), musicians musicians musicians!, fellowship on the mountain & in the valley, yoga, coffee, wonderful christmas "gig" yesterday at st vincent de paul (where my family & i volunteer)... the following shows have beautiful flyers, but i can't get my act together enough to post them! if you're at all interested, please google or facebook them... xoxo to all!
Come see Jenny Angel playing on the following dates:
with The Dusk Devils (Brian Paxton, Scott Deaton, Stevo) and Karling Abbeygate, Fri. Dec. 23 at B. Ryder's Bakersfield, 8 pm, $5
- with Cattie Ness and the Revenge (Rebecca Caraveo, John Bruce, Johnny Rage Wedrall, Fabi Dean, Adam Lee) Wed. Dec. 28 at Big's, Fullerton
- with Karling Abbeygate, Sat. Dec. 31 at Big's, Fullerton
- with the Dusk Devils and Karling Abbeygate at Art Fein's Elvis Birthday Bash, Sun. Jan. 8 at The Echo, Los Angeles, 4pm-midnight
that's the best i can do for now. maybe the muse will return; for now, the wheels are spinning... feliz navidad y prospero ano!

wisdom of the ages...

I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different. -- Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)
schhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifoolhouse rock - youtube... somehow am now at the pt where am too busy to blog. as well as lazy. heeding vonnegut, i feel totally ok with it! :) :) logorrhea will return, no doubt -- for now, farting around (& getting over this interminable cold) prevails!

this weekend's proposed route...

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- the desire to write might come back soon... just been so dang all-over-the-place, when i get wherever i am to rest, i just wanna crash!! a quote from horace: "in life's clear dregless wine immerse / your heart, throw spun out hopes away / don't trust tomorrow: CLUTCH TODAY!"
- hope all've had/are having happy holidays season... :) :) :)

happy thanksgiving to all. :)

"[he's] old enough to know the score, but [he's] young enough to want more more more"

my friend the big lug just sent me an email quoting the above; i think he feels he resembles that remark, to paraphrase groucho... i think the line i most relate to in that song is "try to make a living during the day, deep in the night i throw it all away," even tho i'm now, as my folks say, alternately "retired," "independently wealthy," or "a working musician"... none of those are true, but it's kinda cool my folks are depicting me that way to others. it's better than them saying, "our elder daughter's a bum right now." :)
saturday's show's gonna be a scream... unfortunately, i still don't know the cover, & neither does james... wa-la!

"the girls at trout's"...

- that was donnie's caption to accompany this image; i like the bangs: L to R, short, medium, long... the other eve i got to practice very briefly w/karling, donnie, cesareo, & AJ at AJ's home, teeming w/food, joyful young family, & cool mexicano-rockabilly motif; then it was off to rick's for DD practice & i've said this before in past yrs w/past lineups, & maybe it just happens when there's a happy union of ability, talent, friendliness, high energy, & dedication, but we REALLY SOUNDED GREAT!!! bsp claims nearly each wk he's not been practicing, but (between you, me, & the net) i think he might be fudging a bit bc ea wk his playing rocks harder & more genre-appropriately... too, happily for me, he & i, who maddeningly used to fight like cats & dogs, now seem to be getting along just fine, & there's nothing that can aid musicianship for me than shared friendly feelings...
- i'm especially now looking fwd to our show sat w/james & the blues express (flyer below) cause i think we'll have a real chance to wow all & ourselves w/what we know we really can do... at our 1st oasis show w/them, i forgot my piano stand & had to play on a barrel that rocked & rolled on its own, making playing a bit tough! at another (maybe the same one?), our old bassist showed up late, so we did the 1st 6 songs bassless, which isn't horrible, but feels bottomless compared to the usual! at the last one, our former guitar player was a little shook up that night, i now know, cause he'd just gotten reamed by james for telling him he was leaving the band... so this'll be our time to shine @ the oasis (not having expectations, just hopes!)... at any rate, i know i'll have my fun, & i suspect the others will, too! :)
- after our awesome DD practice, it was out to trout's, where i saw a ghost from the past & our interaction, i'm thankful, was happy; got to catch up w/the kidwells, lisa p, lynda fette, & russ davidson, asking the last to deliver mark powell a happy bd from me; met craig garrison for the 1st time & later learned we both love alice the goon; & bsp & i got to play a few songs as pt of karling's "bakersfield band" (lineup listed at top)... all this activity acknowledged, am starting to realize the most exciting news of late is i just found out this morn i'm going to france w/becky & fabi, & we're gonna play the good rockin' tonight festival!! will be in la belle france long enough to learn some french, find jogging paths, enjoy local cuisine & soak up culture as i follow becky around (she knows the ropes), maybe even take a side trip (visit gene taylor? how far's antwerp from where we'll be, i wonder?)... fabi also really piqued my curiosity re travel to mexico city, from which she hails... life life life! love love love! carpe diem, friends, carpe diem! :) :) :)

rock-rock, rock-a-billy boogie...

(<- :="" a="" br="" good="" hey="" i="" it="" m="" on="" pic="" putting="" s="" top="">- life is good! how is you? had another fun wkend w/the revenge & cattie, this time in fresno, opening for deke dickerson... his poor bandmate, rockabilly gorilla "cialis" (a killer bassist of inventive, melodious lines & full, fat tone, who shall remain anonymous) got horribly sick during their 1st set & fabi jumped right up onstage @ banged out 2 super-rockin tunes on the doghouse bass w/deke & "sugarballs." back at chez brad, where the band stays, becky & john had whipped up quite a feast of sausages, tri-tip, & lasagna... yum yum.
- to back up a bit, in quite fortuitous timing, i got my super-cool frankenstein-sized snow boots from the post office on the very day we had our 1st snow up here! -- of course that meant i just had to don them & tromp down to the mtg, where en route i was interviewed by the channel 9 LA news van! then fabi & johnny arrived to pick me up for the gig, & when they saw the snow, laughed & jumped around like little tykes, even having a snowball fight! we made their requisite stops to aero dog (for 99 cent bomber dogs) & bravo farms (for gourmet cheeses); i enjoy riding w/these young musicians more than a person rightfully should when you've got 3 bodies squished in a truck cab.... :) yes, it was a fine time, tho i was so, so happy to get home & in my own cozy bed looking out on "my" mountain while sipping hot beverage & enjoying dexter on the laptop...
- today i volunteered at our lovely frazier park, working w/two gals on WRP raking leaves & clearing the pond & freezing my butt off!! must wear more layers en la futura... what a wonderful time it was to work hard in the beautiful outdoors, making new friends... the boss gave me a whole bag of balls for roscoe! icing on the cake! :) this eve brought conversation w/dear young woman i met in sta fe in january... so nice to catch up w/her... then my dear cousin decided she was no longer mad @ me & my heart is warmed & grateful for this...
- wed should be hopping: practice w/dds to prep for show w/james & blues express (yay! flyer below), then "jam" w/visiting OC rockabilly royalty at a local honky-tonk. we'll be practicing for a december show... maybe some christmas tunes? sure hope so! :)
- heard this quote twice recently, so here it is for you: "we cannot control the wind, but we can adjust the direction of our sails..." with that, here are some pix from the fresno show @ audie's; the 1st one i find particularly amusing since becky looks as sexy as i do dippy ... may you be warm, fed, & happy... :)

yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnn!!!!

that's not a reflection on this image! just lately's been fun, but not manic... which means i'm nearly asleep a lot of the time! anyways, after 9 days of crazy high energy & creativity, the rollercoaster peaked & gentled out... we had a lovely bd party for my ex-husband, then i went out w/bsp & met up w/eddie e & wes c for a bit, then played a fun quincenera down in santa ana for fabi dean's little sister, who had the coolest gown! she looked like a little punk rock princess! we got to eat chicken mole they'd brought from mexico city! it was, need i say, mouth-on-fire scrumptious! we (cattie ness & the revenge, in this case) came on after the mariachi & pounded the joint! it was a fun set... then i was gonna go see james @ his eldorado halloween show, but the revenge was tuckered out & i wasn't gonna go by myself dressed as a zombie french maid, for heaven's sake! that's just dumb!! not that i'm a supermodel or anything near it... just wanted some company, going in a fairly skimpy getup like that... anyhow, we caravanned home & becky talked my head off & we got lost & it was super tiring but also fun, then halloween came & i only had my costume on for about 10 mins, not long enough for a pic, so i'll just have to make sure it fits for next year! or i'm thinking i might modify it to be a pilgrim @ the above show... no! what am i saying?? i can't be a frigging plymouth-style PILGRIM!!
anyways, back to halloween: went to crazy duck chinese restaurant up here on the mountain w/my friend, then watched a scary demon movie & scared the crap out of ourselves, then later went to the beautiful new library & checked out books & hiked up to this dilapidated, cool old house i'd like to buy, a (an) historical monument w/rough-hewn, dramatic stonework & killer view, but the whole house is brittle! it's a tear-down & start-over, unfortunately, cause tho existing house is rustic-cute, it's dangerous to inhabit! it's also abandoned for now, as you might guess, so we grabbed a bunch of apples off the tree... apples grow well here, little sweet crunchy ones... i just realized i need an apple tree...
- the wind's blowing here to beat the band! stupid wind! no yardwork today - glad i did it yesterday... well, i have no creativity, so this humdrum writing will have to do for now... :) heading to smoggy bakersfield to be w/dusk devils & family... hope snow doesn't come, like's predicted. i'm bringing my hiking boots, just in case i have to somehow crosscountry-it back up to my house (i'm about 500 ft higher than town proper, & i'll get snow when "downtown" frazier has none!) to get my dress for saturday's show w/cattie ness & deke dickerson in fresno. that should be a blast! go to www.cattieness.com for details... ok, bye all! :)

"hellllp meeee..... i'm mellllltttttiinnnnggggg!!!!"

->did you know it's a 2 & a HALF hour drive to ridgecrest from frazier park? neither did i, til i got online that a.m. to get directions to the gig. crap! i hurriedly packed some bags & squealed off in my truck... it was a road race to the show, on dry desert & along the stunning formations of red rock canyon, & in a first, i got there ahead of everyone else! randy, mike, mark, everyone we met was really nice, but sound check was confusing. then it was time for... hurry up & wait. wait... wait... in ridgecrest!! temperatures soared & soared... bakersfield's temperate, by comparison! we planted ourselves in the shade & watched the other bands a little; rick & patty met a straw-hatted, suspendered, & bow-tied old fellow who'd been a dj in the '40s; i had a rootbeer snowcone; the paxtons kept urging me to eat "real food"... finally it was time to prep, & while using blowdryer & elmer's to plaster back bsp's hard rock mane (he claims he's gonna get a cut), we blew the circuits in the green room... as well as to the chinese food vendor's booth next door! oops!! "johnny cash" came in from his set, a bit traumatized by the sun-blazed stage, sweat-soaked in his black tailorcoat & ruffled shirt... stage manager randy later said, "i thought johnny cash was gonna die out there in that heat. i'm glad we didn't kill johnny cash!" we didn't feel the full punishment til we got out there ourselves. brutal! couldn't someone have built a stage overhang? oh well; it happens... upon starting our first song, i hit the keys & realized brian & scott were a half-step off me... they'd just tuned! their boiling strings went south that quickly!! the monitor mix was all keyboard... i couldn't hear rick at all - he'd set up far back... in the shade, the turkey! occasionally i'd look over at bsp in his black pants & gabardine cowboy shirt & hope he wasn't gonna croak onstage, himself. i bore down w/grim determination; everyone was wilting! the show must go on! anyways, we got some dancers, the audience, sitting out there w/no shade, responded happily enough for people melting like candlewax in an oven, & in the end, it was another show under our belts.
-> afterward, we rested & drank water & ate pizza & watched cadillac angels from the green room window. by the time they hit stage, the sun had set, the evening seeping into coolness... lucky angels!! they sounded \solid, w/mickey rae's steady & pumping doghouse bass & tony's link wray-style shreddings. "he sounds like phil alvin," commented lisa, & sure enough, i realized, tony's voice had a similar warm, keening quality, tho not PA's eccentric energy... phil alvin, laid back, in the body of a tall, relaxed, gentlemanly drink of water... here are a few pix from the day. you can see in one how tired & sweaty we were afterward! tho the dime-store child's dress i bought looked nice in some pix, from the stage, i looked ridiculous! - so if you want to see those pix, you'll have to look elsewhere. :)
-> all in all, good job, dusk devils! & thank you again to desert empire fair people for being so nice to us. :
-> well, everyone, what's up for halloween?? next wkend for me is show w/cattie ness & revenge down south, then i hope to hop over to halloween show w/whiteboy james & the blues express. still, it'd be nice to find some friday night deal in bako, since we'll be celebrating my ex-hubby b's "special" birthday that night! i'll keep my eyes open for local fun, & you do, too! :)
-> friends... gooooood.......... :) :)

"that reminds me - i haven't seen my son all day..."

one of my favorite scenes from my favorite marx bros movie -- actually, it's a tie between this & "a night at the opera," for me... :)

and if you get scared on the rollercoaster, hold my hand & move a little closer, doin' some huggin' & lovin' at the county fair

- dusk devils!!! we play sunday!!! don't miss the desert empire fair, ridgecrest, ca. we'll play a nice long set, 330-5 pm. before us is a johnny cash tribute band called walk the line & afterward will be roots rocker stalwarts cadillac angels (wanda jackson's backing band, among other accolades, as you might know!) & there might be other bands, too, cause this is "rockabilly day" at the fair... address is 520 s. richmond, ridgecrest, ca. the fair'll open at noon... the fair! the fair! the fair! whoopee!!!
- this wkend, too, is the opening of the new library in frazier park, saturday, 10 am... you should see the place -- it's huge & gorgeous! amazing to think such an edifice could be constructed & maintained in these times so dire for arts & education... i'm so looking fwd to seeing this new library! if you drive into frazier park, there's no way you can miss it: left at the post office off the main highway (the only light in town), then a right at park drive. just follow the signs!
- off to st vincent de paul now to do some art & make more friends & try to be of some use, for heaven's sake... my cousin the cop (i mean sheriff's dept chief public information officer) is having me design a patch for his motorcycle club, so i'll have something to draw myself today, not just stand around like the teacher... life is wonderful. how lucky can a person be? hope you feel the same today... & maybe to see some of you out at the desert fair! here's the website (don't look for us; i forgot to send in a picture): desert empire fair

how many legs does ynnej have?

how you? i fine. writing many songs. exercising a lot! got to do a 12-step call of sorts via phone last night. it helped me as much as the caller, i think! we hung up both resolved not to drink or use. my dear friend donna commented, "you may have saved a life tonight." wow! who could not be grateful? went to wonderful retreat last weekend. that is from whence came this "very special people" shot. how many legs do you count on my body? i like it! :)
gigs coming up, lots more travel, friends & family, meetings, music, life life life... so happy lately. all is well! love to you who read... due to my statcounter, i know for the most part who you are... so i mean love to you ALL.
as dear penni would say, "oh.... YAAAAAAHH..." :) :) :)

"hello!" and "i'm sorry!"

...here's the "hello!!" :) :)
margie evans "29 ways" .. thank you, gene taylor, for the link! :)
...here's the "i'm sorry!!" this is a picture from one of my porches, looking toward bakersfield last evening... check out the brown yuck!! so sad to think of all the friends & loved ones -- people, period!! -- living in that garbage!!

seester!!!!! i love you, seester!!!! :) :) :)

happy birthday!!!!! :) angie is such a devoted teacher and friend, as well as kind, bright, sunny, helpful, talented person... i so love my little seester!!! :) :) :) she actually is at via arte, an annual chalk art festival at bakersfield's marketplace, today with her students... she does it every year. she is so committed to art & to her students! i'm so proud of my sister! she makes good choices today. she is a really good woman! she loves, & is loved. :)
road trip!! today will be trip to blues jam in bako w/brian paxton, then fresno to hang out w/cattie ness & co... tomorrow, we record! only four songs, but should be super-fun, tho usually i DESPISE multi-track recording. i hope we do it live!! hope hope hope!! but if not, i know my friends & i will have a nice time. :)
out of the low spot of yesterday, i got a new song... & it's a good one! people who write songs know (i guess unless you're leiber & stoller, or chopin, or some fantastic, god-kissed composer) the ratio is 75% crap songs to 25% keepers. or maybe 90-10. the important thing is, when the fire's lit, nurse that thing! add to it! make it roar! after all, who knows when a dud will turn into a nugget of gold? :) in songwriting, just like all other writing, initially there can be no critic -- the flow is what's key. scrutiny comes later. anyways, i've written two keepers this past week!! one's a slinky rockabilly dance number, the other's a "goodbye" broken-heart kinda tune i hope will turn out like a blasters-like thingy. i do wish j the best. i hope he reads this & knows that.
- last night i dreamed i went to a party at phil alvin's house w/my friend the blues musician, & another musician -- who resembles a rail-thin charlie sheen -- was showing off & dominating the conversation. he then called me a filthy name & my friend, who used to be a boxer, turned, &, still smoking his cigarette, punched the other guy's lights out. i woke smiling a bit, realizing i feel safe these days, not just in the universe's flow (which doesn't guarantee good will happen to me, but which has purpose & beauty i can find reassurance in), but with my friends...
that's all for now. gotta get ready to hit the road. xo & happy weekend to all!

sick

- must stop drinking out of glasses after others. and shaking hands. and hugging! and kissing! and gallivanting! must stop driving 800 miles in 5 days, hanging out with friends who've been sick as well as sleep-deprived party animals, eating junk food, exercising on little sleep, staying up over 24 hours at a time.
- no - wait; that all was fun fun fun. but i need a 2nd body to withstand the pounding!!!
- dizzy when stand. fever. throat killing me. entire body freezing cold, all stoved up all day. then the weather changed. it's 40 degrees all of a sudden!! that does not tend to help this human barometer's health...
- only the leftover butt of a kool, discovered under a pile of papers, helped, many hrs ago. know this is some sign of dying, that a smoke would help the pain & sickness. i mean, i'm not even a smoker, by trade!!!
- what happened to this house? cigarette butts in the sink. towels and rugs everyplace. dirty dishes and clothes. the fridge left open. remnants of fried meals. empty booze bottles. in MY trash!! (no, i didn't drink them... also, i haven't emptied the recycling in weeks, & there've been lots of musicians visiting.) electric piano left on for 11 hours. well, at least the instruments got played a bit!
- just got "in a relationship" with my sister's stunning friend kristin. long have wanted to be "in a relationship" w/someone on facebook. facebook would not allow me to be "in a relationship" with the ghost of boris karloff, new orleans louisiana, doug, the cute little dog from the animated movie "up," or even grottu orloff, the cyber monster. apparently, a person's got to be "in a relationship" with a real human being on facebook. i mean, how discriminatory is that?
- kristin has "bride of frankenstein" all over her house. she can really cook up a mean bellywarmer of a meal. and she is gorgeous. maybe it'll go someplace. problem is, i like men and so does kristin. we're both rather super-hetero, in fact. so i guess how especially nice of her to fill my facebook need. this monster must find her mate. or at least have some bs one acknowledged... i think kristin felt the same way. :)
- fb flirting indiscriminately with others male & female. seeing boundaries not just eroding, but a gullywasher of inappropriateness imminent. danger, danger! pried self off facebook, but not after embarrassing exchange w/kristin about eating tuna.
- raining like heck outside all day. i think i forgot to close my truck. my keyboard's in there as well as left-over gear the inebriated musicians decided to keep with me. this tho i won't even see them maybe for weeks or months. there's also fog. rain all up and down california. people have called asking if there's snow. fishing for a visit. come on up! i'll be the pile laying in the corner, listening to 5 royales radio on pandora. apparently pandora is stupid. they have 5 royales listed as "5 royals." just in case you want to add that station.
- so... cold... ohhhhhhh... goodbye...

i had one drink, two drinks, maybe 3 or 4, when i was through, it wouldn't let me go

- that is a ronnie dawson song i just really relate to... was sitting @ the doll hut in anaheim yesterday post-afternoon set w/cattie ness & revenge w/an enormous, friendly boy-man named goat, best pal of johnny rage. sweetly inebriated, he touched my triangle ring & mouthed the name of my secret society of non-drinkers (i couldn't hear him cause of the slamming psychobilly trio onstage)... i nodded yes & he suddenly looked a little... i don't know... comforted? recalcitrant? respectful? sometimes when i've met fellows & then they find out i don't drink, & even more, my affiliation & its implications (rode hard, hung up wet, still living, maybe wiser), the dynamic changes & suddenly i'm the teacher or someone to be protected from king alcohol, which i wouldn't touch if it were handed to me, anyway... but i always feel relieved when that change occurs, which it often does in my experience of bars w/men, who tend to offer drinks as icebreakers to conversation, especially if a gal's in "the band." i'd rather be the teacher -- someone from a world of safety & sobriety, not necessarily someone who can impart knowledge, but just that reliable figure that casts a guy's memory back to childhood innocence -- than a piece of meat. plus i always hold the hope for someone, cause there sure are a lot of folks in the music world who are suffering due to the bottle, the smoke, & the line... not to mention the needle, but then, i have no experience w/that. not yet, anyhow. (i have so many "yets".)
- what a wonderful trip i had to visit donna & family... ruben, her ex, my long-time friend, too, showed up & we all went to guitar center & donna the amazing somehow got 3 guitar cases for $1 each & a danelectro for 50 bucks! she is, after all, queen of scores... we went to the fair, our yearly tradition, & had the most lovely time, agreeing that the evening, the weather, the lights, the dramatic skies, the laughing crowds, the exhibits, the aromas, were magical (also, we saw beautiful farm animals & whimsical artwork! i held a scorpion! donna enthused near- orgasmically about her 1st elote w/parmesan cheese & lemon!)... then donna had a family reunion &, so happy for her, i too was honored to be the only non-family member there as we sat in the backyard @ her sis's house someplace off the 10 & ate beef stew w/carrots & potatoes, beans & cornbread & smelled, alternately, the pungent aromas of guava tree or marijuana bush, depending on how the wind changed. :)
- next day was lunch w/stepson cody &, over eggs & toast, i was delighted to learn he is in love. :) then i headed to gig at doll hut, stuffed into rockabilly jeans i've not worn for 7-8 yrs. becky fixed my hair in a swinging ponytail (as in, "i got my hair fixed in a ponytail, so when we dance, it can really sail") & we got onstage & had a rollicking fun set! it was super-loud & fast, which i love! afterward, we all hung out w/the goat & fabi's friends & adam kept joking about the smoke i had saved in my cleavage (i actually had some -- cleavage, that is -- for this show, wearing the dia de los muertos shirt walter -- who didn't show up -- had given me). becky rode w/me & delighted me w/ribald & frank stories as we caravanned back to flying j & then she hopped back in to ride home w/hubby john & adam, but while still @ the hut, i waited a bit for my friend to show up... he did not bc he'd gotten lost after playing a central cali show: wanting to get away from fans & demands + too much hair of the dog caused him to miss his ride, so now looks like i'll chauffeur him & another musician, who also got lost, home. i should get gas money from it, maybe a meal, some smokes (i don't smoke really, but will if they're greens!), some laughs, some cool music... and dusk devils, i hope, will get a gig or two out of it all. not to mention that i always hold the hope for ppl i know, whether i dislike, like or love them, that they will, if needed, put down the bottle, smoke, or line & pick up the proffered keys to the kingdom. you never know who'll find this thing, tho it certainly is only for those who realize THEY need it. it's not for me to decide for them, most definitely... i hope the trip will be an adventure!
- another upshot is, since i'll be in the southland, i can go to the barndance tonight, mebbe! perhaps manuel will show up if i call him... hope you who read this have a good & safe week. it's beautiful up here on the mountain, & i hope it is there, too, wherever you may be... :)

doll hut rockabilly invasion

good picture of becky (cattie ness), don't you think? :) cattie ness & the revenge, w/whom i'll play, are on at 3 pm sunday at the doll hut in anaheim... last wkend, they all visited for a "band sleepover," as becky called it, & we practiced for 2 days, til i was so exhausted, i was playing w/my head on the yamaha electric piano... we stopped for a sec while johnny rage gave me an energy drink w/the incredible name of "monster rehab," & by the next song, i was playing while not just standing, but jumping up & down! i could hear & see the notes before i hit them! it was a bit like my old days w/stimulants, when, to paraphrase friends of bill, i'd get so up, my eyeballs would enter the room before i did... adam laughed, "you kicked your stool like jerry lee lewis!" apparently, monster rehabs do the job... it wasn't long, tho, before i felt like i might die, & shortly thereafter, our 2-day rehearsal & recording (johnny runs sound at a few LA clubs, so brought his recording gear) adjourned & all headed home to points north & south... to begin @ the beginning, when the band arrived, cars pulled in & stuff started flying into my house: johnny unloaded 100s of lbs of gear & fabi, adam, & john brought in suitcases & backpacks & sleeping bags & becky platters & platters of food (all contributed, but she was the guiding force behind our awesome dinner & breakfast). this place has never been so filled w/bodies, music gear, & things to eat! in the morn, becky made double espressos for all -- yes, cattie ness comes off like a tough, glamorous chick, but really, when it gets down to it, she's a mother hen. :) my culinary contribution was pancakes, which i dished out dollar-size (becky insisted, & i wasn't gonna argue). i made adam a mickey mouse cake @ his request, but drew the line when one of the male band wags requested a phallus. i have standards!!!!
hope dusk devils will come for a mountain retreat weekend, too, but dusk devils fan #1, john k, was probably correct when he wrote, "i don't think the dusk devils are a real sleep-over kind of band"... actually, it's funny to ponder rick, scotty, & brian p sitting around in their pjs w/stuffed animals... :) i leave this here for their rebuttal. :)

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm playing a set w/cattie ness & the revenge this sunday at 3 pm as part of a rockabilly fest... arrrrrgggghhh!!!! blogger won't upload the flyer! you can easily find it on facebook, i know -- will try later. :) dusk devils will play sun oct 23 3 pm at the desert empire fair during their rockabilly day (tho we're not really rockabilly... ssssshhhh!!) -- hope to get a flyer for that one soon, but i wouldn't be able to upload if i had it, anyhow! ok, headed for bakersfield now, then back for breakfast w/art fein, whom i haven't seen forever, & after that, i hope, the LA fair, which is sorta en route to the doll hut, which is in anaheim...

back on the rollercoaster again?

- "no, you're just having feelings, being human." that's what my wise sponsor said kindly when i called her, blubbering & choking & feeling traumatized. after the last many days of high times & extreme fun & affection & laughs w/musician friends, i went to the yard to calm down, pull budding tumbleweeds, smell the fresh air, unwind. i went to throw away a box on my side of the arroyo, a box i'd noticed last wk & kept meaning to throw in the trash, & found... my kitty. she has been dead for over a month, killed by a coyote. i saw it happen. she was a gorgeous cat... she now is far from that. i can only guess someone hiking found her & recognized her as my kitty & brought her back to me... dear sister angie, known by her daughter as the "cat jesus," comforted me via phone; then her kind friend doug said a prayer for me that i have peace. his prayer actually helped me wash the horrible image of what remains of poor skittles from my mind.
- i'm grateful to my friend jp, former boxer, who, when i was in my last depression, reminded me to always roll w/the punches, that the ups & downs are just life & i absolutely MUST not let it get to me cause it'll all pass. i don't have to feel lost, pathological, abandoned, on the road to ruin, or guilty, as if i'm being punished for having had good times of late, simply for feeling sad & even shocked, revolted, scared by the cat's dessicated corpse...
- i will get help burying her remains properly tomorrow, along w/her kitty toys. w/all the good lately, i have to expect some bad here & there. that's life, & into each life, some rain must fall, & ad nauseum; to quote thoreau: "the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it" - swift, "may you live all the days of your life" - and finally, "all men die. but not all men really live." (william wallace)
- may we all live fully today. may you be safe, comforted, & suffused with life.

distracting self from needing to vacuum up dog hair!

oh boy oh boy oh boy! spun, won, fecund, done, sun, & myriad happy rhymes! i was reminded recently that the man of 1001 faces is not lon chaney! we all killed arcade zombies to jukebox howlin wolf, smoked green cigarettes & watched tom & jerry, rolled & rocked, tho no socks came off... god of heaven & earth & all in-between, you expand my circle of friends & goodness all the time, & tho life continues to contain speed bumps, if i pay attention, i am rewarded more than ever can i repay...
it's autumn now, but life's in the air & the billowing painted sky last night cracked & flashed & boomed & rained rhythmic fragrant tears & as the storm sailed across desert & valley & headed out to coast, its earthy aroma delighted all i heard from. following the storm's progress by way of phone & facebook -- i liked it! :)
life life life: going deep, keeping it light... how you? my mind-state's fractured-by-happiness & fun... a light rain falls... must go clean... must go clean... so easy to procrastinate, play music... will post gigs soon; hope you enjoy this video. if not, go to another site, for pete's sake!
"we're so stupid. you're a dumb girl. you smell," said my friend, but it was funny, not mean. i know many monsters, often being one myself, & prefer the happy ones, as would any sane person, which i happen to be right now. so i hung out w/this monster & his friends the other night; like all the coolest monsters, he's misunderstood, but still the most comforting presence in the room; weird & rough & profane, but also kind & fun & attentive, w/ultimately -- i think -- a nobility that comes from being busted-up yet surviving, coming out stronger, mended by the strong glue of love & experience bringing wisdom... gotta go clean now for cattie ness & the revenge's arrival: it's a band slumber party! dusk devils, you are next! pack your bags!! :) "friend(s)... good..." have a nice one, friends. :)

got that fully alive, fully alive feeling...

zing! now you got it, too!
we alive!
carpe diem!

life! life! life!

still near-dead from the NM-CA drive, i was wakened by a knock on the door yesterday, beginning a day of seven visitors!! food, laughs, bawdiness, smoking, griping, loving, camaraderie... the eve ended w/a movie marathon: "jesus christ superstar" followed by "orgazmo." i was grateful this morning when i woke & realize the house hadn't been struck by lightning. :) at NM we hiked to a mtn top w/a woman who turned out to be a healer possessing much historical knowledge & alternative medicine wisdom -- she led us to a gigantic medicine wheel made entirely of quartz!, perched atop a sheer, red cliff! my travel bud kim, a strong & potty-mouthed & kind southern beauty, took me on many steep & treacherous hikes on said trip, for the higher we went, the more exotic rocks we could find -- so i came home w/a number of gorgeous pieces.
this morn beneath a lovely, breezy, cool sky & to the melody of birds, wind, & chimes, i worked on my shrine, adding bits of treasure i'd found in a few abandoned areas along old rt 66: broken cookery & tile, an old coke bottle, a vintage tail light, even some carnival glass & an old toy horse! then i used my quartz specimens to fashion a mini medicine wheel on the stump of an old oak the former resident of this place inexplicably had torn out... stood back to examine my work (it sparkles! like my labyrinth, it radiates ancientness, calm, if pondered...), looked over, & saw a tiny lizard -- but what a lizard! just one inch long, it looked like a fat mini-dinosaur! i never catch the little guys, but this i did, & after taking a few shots of what looked to be a liliputian triceratops & posting it on facebook, adam from cattie ness shot back that it was a horny toad! looking it up further, i discovered it was the california variety (natch); they're endangered in many places; they're loners & so are best left to survive on their own; can be a federal crime to take, even! (ex-hubby b commented, "good thing you didn't pick it up in the oilfield! they'd fine ya a million dollars!"); & eat red ants!... i knew just where to release him -- the beautiful exotic baby went right to a rock in the backyard, near the steps, on which is a red ant highway. i sat for a few minutes &, w/some satisfaction, watched him feast. now it's time to prepare to go practice w/becky & her band, then get the dog boys & visit loved ones.
"love attracts love," wrote st therese, the little flower, as well as, "i would like to fly as the eagle does, but i can only flutter my wings" -- i am, you are, we are the horny toad, the ant, the lonely climber, the red rock: let me be complete in the tininess & weakness of my ephemeral living form, be more compassionate & patient w/earth's creatures -- we are all so delicately small! -- & find comfort in the vastness, amazing beauty, & temporality of this. pay attention! do not take for granted one single thing!
yes, life! life! life! what a blessing! what a constant surprise! what a fragile gift! may you feel blessed & happy today...
ps - here's one more pic, just cause i love it so...

1840 miles, 7 days

dang! can't believe i'm home! when i left, it was still summer -- have come home to crystal-clear & crisply-cool, fragrant early-morning mountain autumn!
too strung out to sleep -- still vibrating from the road. left abq nm yesterday, slept 4 hrs in the backseat of my good old truck... wow! so grateful to have had such a wonderful road trip, so grateful to be home. more later... carino to anyone reading this... :)

blablablablablablabla

here is a little video to celebrate great music, friends, & a bee-yoo-tee-ful day... huge, huge birds are in the trees out the window! they must be a foot in height each! wow!

labor day weekend...

check out these flyers for two great shows! james also will play a 3rd, sat night @ taft's oasis (i'm crossing fingers roscoe'll offer again to give me dough to stay & play piano after hrs!!). then there's a special barndance-tribute to hank williams. can my constitution handle seeing both james & phil alvin in one weekend? this calls for an "OMG," i believe!! click here to read electric earl's ad for this 4th, sure-to-be-fun show: tribute to hank williams

"two pees [sic] in a pod," wrote my cousin... & "unto such a torment the... malefactors were condemned, who reason subjugate to appetite."

what a nice tx trip i had, w/its sultry heat, fecund country roads, flat flat land, fried feasts, scrapping & funny & kind & ribald family interactions, endless air-conditioned drives, & farmland filled w/animals, most lovely for me the jerusalem donkeys jazzy & rosie & the old dog max. yes, we've so much family love out there in tx. i left for the kids a pair of my platform shoes so they can play runway model. in this pic, thomas had given me a tattoo. after that, he, bebe  & i had a wii dance contest (i lost). then my friend, the amazing fireball whiteboy james, invited us to open for his band this wkend. but bass player scotty says he'll be out out of town. then "love" again was agony, agony, agony. the rollercoaster soars, then plunges plunges plunges. i've gone as low as the 5th circle but usually when in h*ll am stuck in the 2nd, blowing around in its violent storm w/no hope of rest or ballast & no virgil to lead the way out... am so grateful to have my folks, for w/o them, i'd never remember the love, the wonderful moments, this precious, fleeting life... all bets would be off.

my heartaches and troubles are just up and gone, the moment you come into view, with your hand in mine, dear, i could dance on & on

and waltz across texas with you... bye, all yall...
Be crumbled.
So wild flowers will come up
Where you are.
You have been stony for too many years.
Try something different. Surrender.
Rumi ♥

i'm a triflin woman, i trifle all the time...

that's how becky adapted the lyrics to an old hillbilly song... always thought she was singing "traveling woman," so'd sing along like that, off mike... to be a trifling woman, not caring, what freedom, maybe!- tho realistically, to be a traveling woman would be the better, soul-wise... i like playing that song best in her band, along w/"knock knock rattle" & a few more. on some songs, i'm just not sure what kind of parts to play (she already has 3 guitars in the line-up!), so i hope to figure out more interesting fills & leads as i go... it's easy enough to hack along w/the music; to add TO it, tho, is the real magic!
so here is a link to a little tv show cattie ness & the revenge did a few wks ago in LA. the experience that day was a real music-rescue for me... music can overcome any sadness, again; life w/o music would be no life, to paraphrase vonnegut... can't help commenting on the film's low lighting, which brings out everyone's ancestors, like adam's romanesque-arabic face, fabi's aztec queenage, my craggy mayan profile (not attractive, i don't think, but interesting, like one time a guy told me i had "something ancient going on" in my face...) it's a nice bunch of friends i get to play w/these days, between dusk devils & cattie ness; i certainly feel grateful for all! cattie ness & the revenge on flashrock tv
- yesterday was eddie's alano club benefit, sparsely but generously attended -- that is, few folks, but the ones there donated lots of dough! brian p & rick were both sick but managed to hold up, scotty was spiffied up &, back to long-distance running, bouncing on the balls of his feet in high health, & i was down, down, down cause of kitty's death... but the kind & appreciative audience brightened everyone up & we had a fun little set! i've never seen brian p smile so much, for instance... it sure felt nice to look over & there was bsp, grinning sort of gently. (maybe he had a fever, come to think of it!) but no, the warm-heartedness of the drunk club's members, i think, is just contagious that way. :)
- then a woman named deedrus [sp] got up on the little stage & absolutely blew the roof off singing koko taylor's "ernestine" -- good heavens, she rocked the joint! it was huge fun trying out some memphis slim-manquee right hand noodlings on that one. i never play 12 bar blues like that, so what fun!!
- sturdy dan, my dear friend, walked in & it brightened me up, just seeing him; sister angie was there, too, w/her earnest & kindly (boy?)friend doug, & to see her smiling & laughing & so filled w/life also helped add to the memory... back at mom's & dad's (they just returned from santa fe), we visited & cried & told stories, then fell into hard sleep. when i woke this morning, sister had gone to church, mama was cooking bacon & tortillas, & i've stalled long enough -- time to see about getting my truck running, which our dependable dad should be able to make happen.
- kind wishes to all who read for a restful & blessed, or wild & happy, or somewhere in-between kind of sunday...

R.I.P.

my beautiful little kitty... at 4am, i woke to the sounds of her being killed by a coyote & ran outside just in time to see the whole thing. she was fighting hard, but the coyote, of course, had her overpowered... i hope she didn't suffer long, tho i know & saw that she did. poor little creature. i can't wait til i stop blaming myself & seeing the whole thing over & over in my mind. there are such far worse tragedies in this world routinely, & i knew the risk of having her up here, but still this is a sad occasion, to lose a pet so violently. bless my sister angie for being there to help me when i called her, distraught. :(

"you shoulda got a winnebago instead of a house!"

...sed memphis mike... heck, might be true! anyways, my truck broke down in bakersfield & so i hitched a ride home after the benefit at trout's & hope to hitch a ride back w/sis today or tomorrow (& see her new tattoo, which covers her back, yakuza-style, & she got to celebrate her black belt!) & get the truck back up & running...
- what have you learned today? i learned i don't have to say everything that comes in my head; of some new (to me) music on pandora (new orleans nightcrawlers, woggles, hasil adkins' "the hunch"); that people hiking up or down the hill right opposite me, we all in plain sight of one another, somehow can't see me tho i see them & therefore feel a little indecent, like a voyeur, tho i don't really want them looking in my house @ me, sitting here like a lump; that hummingbirds love this picture window lately & so will fly right up to it, in my face, seemingly, as i type; & that when working on the house, i should never stop for more than 10 mins or rigor mortis sets in & that's all she wrote... oh well. guess the house is clean enough at this pt, so will settle down w/PB&J sandwich to go watch the lovely outdoors for a bit. :)
- penultimately, dusk devils will play around 5-530 at alano club sat (2nd benefit for eddie's eye surgery), open to public, $10 donation, 34th st in bksfld. finally, saw this pic from bsp's friend sharron h from sunday's benefit -- i liked it, so post it here & thank sharron for it. :)

"where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure." (rumi)

ok, the last post was kinda depressing, so above's a nice quote to make chicken out of chickensh*t, which aunt rita says is impossible, but i think she mean's a loser's always gonna be a loser, while the above suggests there's always hope. another great cheerer-upper was a comment from a gal on the dusk devils' facebook pg: "i love this band! they're like the collins kids if they were allowed to stay out all night!" for pete's sake, how wonderful it was to read THAT! :)
today was mostly fun, but what a long, long, long deal... i was a doofus to start it w/a scamper up to the water tower near my home (to get a little exercise); that is one steep, steep climb, & to try to jog it? exhilarating, exhausting, but pure dumbness... then the truck battery was dead... got it jumped by lifesaver neighbor... then it was dead again... jumped again by nice old man in bksfld... quick run-thru at bsp's, couldn't find raffle tickets, found out when arrived at trout's i was the show m.c. (thank goodness brian p had influenced me to dress up a little!), tried to sell raffle tickets & mc & keep head on straight in midst of personal strife (curse at&t cell phones!! curse them!!!) & interacting w/friends ( julie & sarah, all kinds of friendly local musicians who played nimbly & chatted & laughed easily), got thru our set in what felt to me like workman-like fashion, few surprises except when eddie came up & laid in a genre-perfect improv instru on one bad stud... everyone there for eddie... everyone happy for eddie... everyone hopeful for eddie... next benefit will be sat, 3-7 pm at the alano club, donation $10 -- no drinking, just music & fellowship to help eddie get more eye surgery. thanks to all who were there tonight. when in a bag of sh*t, remember - the zipper's on the inside, as stacy used to say. and remember -- rumi.

"corruptio optimi est pessima" & cry, cry, cry

the quote refers to the fall of lucifer, who, you might know, was the most beloved angel. warned 2 yrs ago by the above message given to me in an art-egg by a bright but emotionally damaged person to whom i was drawn, gypsy-moth-like, i ignored wise mind & plowed ahead selfishly. after my disrespectful visit before marie laveau's shrine in NOLA, the curse was on... yes, it sounds melodramatic, superstitious, etc, but must resort to magic, drama, fantasy to make it thru this latest blackness.
this, too, shall pass.
below is the way i almost always am when not wrapped up with "love": happy, joyful, connected, creative, grateful. wish i could erase my memory & stand here, free & new & clean... again, as it did when i went thru the hell of divorce from my kind ex, the poem looms: "the unknown god... is breaking me down to his own oblivion to send me forth on a new morning, a new [wo]man." (d.h. lawrence) ironic - the brilliant person mentioned above gave me the quote, to reassure me.

thank the good, good universe for the love & gift of music, which has the charms to soothe the "bestiam feram," the beast within that wants a soul dead. now i'm thinking of that throw rag song "the beast in me"... may you avoid the beast today & all days & be wiser than am i in matters of le cœur... theme for tonight: the stooges' "your pretty face is going to h*ll"...

bah! bloop! whee! click! aah. dig? dig. &dig. &dig. :)

(lazy writing alert:) it's warm & beautiful & breezy outside & wish for you a happy, healthy day... am taking a break from working on my shrine outside (removing weeds, laying down mesh, then rock garden) cause like i said, it's warm! sure is good to be outside & get some vitamin d w/the birds & the bees & the flowers & the trees... the above event's coming up sun as well as another for same purpose the following sat, aug 20, at the alano club on 34th st (start time i think will be around noon), open to public, jam session for musicians & those who don't drink or, like bsp, won't mind taking a break for the afternoon out of respect for the venue... suggested donation for the alano club also will be $10 so that eddie can get his peepers fixed once & for all.
earlier in the wk was the barndance, a memorable night @ which i got to play w/cattie ness & the revenge, meet amazing pianists jason eoff & dona oxford (skip edwards was there, too!), play a slam-bang mini-set, dance the night away, & see all kinds of people from the smell(swell)ay roots scene like russell scott, james intveldt, etc & best of all art fein, whom i haven't seen in a chimp's age, cracking art up w/my phil alvin impersonation (i didn't know i had one til art -- a seeming cynic who has genuine generosity of spirit when he finds something appealing -- started laughing out loud, which got me going good). then my friend walter brought me a bd cake (i'd already had a spectacular bd w/my dear family) & handed it to ronnie mack himself, who held it while the whole joint sang me happy bd!! my goodness... what a life i got, for which i am so, so grateful.
then got to record a little net tv show last night w/cattie ness & revenge. night before was dusk devils show at packed-out mr t's bowl, a cool venue & yes, old bowling alley, @ which brian p debuted the biggest pomp you'd ever seen & we didn't go on til 1am & devil doll (to me) inexplicably sang pat benatar & the animals (the latter i thought even a bit blasphemous, but what the crap do i know...), but people stayed for us, too, & everyone got to dance w/walter, who generously gave me an angel necklace & then rooted & rutted his face into our pretty cousin's ample bosom as both cackled drunkenly, fun-loving heathens that they were that nite. :) in the mid of all this was trip to coast w/dear dad, sis, aunt to visit grandma & said cousin, who celebrated her big 4-0 in raucously guzzling fashion, then suffered mightily, emptying it all out & whimpering (poor baby), "thank you for taking care of me" while i patted & comforted her & sister wiped her mouth, but i've sure been there, so it felt sort of nurturing & correct & like the cycle of life & important bonding. then we attempted to sleep at cousin's/grandma's w/barky-damn-yappy dogs, so on no rest, i had volcanic meltdown next afternoon on drive to smell(swell)ay & sometimes i wish i had no mouth cause then i wouldn't say the things i sometimes do (nor make ugly faces while singing). anger, self-pity, remorse, babbling, driving, crying -- sh*t, i thought i was over it, but nossir, still a fallible, messy humanoid. oh well: a productive very late-nite powwow came of it, so maybe next time i'll be able to pause before exploding like a ranting, wailing demon... met up w/ CN&R pals & becky did quick miracle makeup on my blubbery face so i looked nice & we performed a rockin little tv show & then fabi left the country w/her family (on vacation, not the lam), johnny & goat went to san pedro for shrimp feast & beers, & the rest of us caravaned to lebec for late-nite supper at denny's (mine, 4 bucks, was pretty swell) & becky rode w/me, her steady, friendly, supportive chatting a delight. (like many folks i know, her life would make one fascinating read.) the studio, www.flashrock.com, had fun acoustics & we were styling, too, cause becky's the boss & tells us what to wear, so i cautiously say it likely not just sounded, but looked good. :) my writing here's lazy, but the few marbles i got today in my bag upstairs are rolling slowly, so this'll have to do for now. :)

duskdevils, karling, devildoll, lacholita sat @ mr t's

see flyer below.. meanwhile, here's some more pix of the barndance from paul oeser III... thanks, paul! :)

ronnie mack's barndance

click on the pic to read the caption. photos are courtesy of rebecca caraveo & walter van buskirk (+ my ipod). it was a real fun time!