drive-through communication & the dignity of the golden arches

yesterday was one of the most satisfying v-days i've ever had. practical, calm, it ultimately was quite comforting. i got to meet with my kindly, wise sponsor, then end the day warm in bed drifting off w/magazine as my dear husband snored quietly. in the middle was other good stuff, chiefly a marriage-building conference at nearby megachurch of wide walls, pretty architecture & furnishings, cheerful clean-cut throngs, & lots of good snacks & beverages. the conference featured some seeming-common sense suggestions, but for someone like me, they were uncommon & therefore welcomed! stuff like this: raise your mate's value -- honor him/her; lower your anger; do whatever possible to make your mate feel safe. a great tool we learned was called "drive-through communication," so i'll leave that for you to look up.
today we skipped out early on the conference's day 2 after agreeing we'd gotten more good info already than we could've hoped for & anyways were better off out in the sunshine headed for an eatery. too, we'd woken up far too early for vampire musician/s & were having trouble staying conscious. we packed in some big plates of savory hawaiian food & once home, drowsily tucked in for afternoon nap. james had a wedding gig, so i made him a sandwich & he hit the road after which i went out & cashed in a gold nugget i found while cleaning the mountain house last month: a bookstore gift card!
earlier i mentioned drive-throughs, & for yrs i scoffed at mcdonald's. this eve i decided that, sure, such megacorporations definitely should be viewed w/skepticism, but blanket condemnation on my part is elitist bullcrap. mcdonald's certainly has its place, & not as in a place where only the poor uneducated eat and/or are exploited, or where you'll find "those people"  -- think of those ugly sneering online attacks, whole sites set up to jeer at "wal-mart people." in this sort-of posh orange county town where eateries can be inhabited by spoiled snots w/loud mouths & opinions, the large & clean golden arches i visited tonight was welcoming: quiet, staffed by friendly folks & peopled by brown & tan & flax-skinned patrons who conversed in lulling hushed tones sounding almost like mantra. yes, i really appreciated sitting w/snack wrap & french fries in the reading corner, staying for quite a bit, reading my new book while others around me read/studied, too, in an unspoken, seemingly-consensus politeness & calm... it was a nice time w/no artifice & no waste & no braying bozos, a dignified time... an honorable time. at mcdonald's! maybe, like james told me today, because i feel happy/good/decent/dignified lately, i see it in other people. he could be right!
back here, i put plump massive chicken breasts in the oven for james to have once he's back home, then had long conversation w/jamesjr about director's cuts, orson welles, atheism, etc., then got online to read dad's latest history of dust storms in kern county as well as some weird lewis carroll poems he sent (the funniest is called "hiawatha").
tomorrow we get to dine w/our favorite bennetts in the world in one of our favorite cities, LBC. life's much easier for me personally when i consider my activities as "get-to's" rather than "have-to's." well, i'm still too full to exercise. talk about a golden problem. golden problem, golden arches, golden rule, golden mean, i don't want silver, i don't want gold, all i want is you darling, to have & to hold (sing "5" royales)... over & out.

how are you? como estas? come stai? comment allez-vous?

just finished a puzzle (from the NYT, even!) that was so hard & mentally-intensive for me, it made my heart jumpy & me anxious. but i finished it!! my brain still works. just read an article that says the brain begins to degenerate at around age 27; near-20 yrs later, i guess i should be grateful i'm not drooling & still can control my bodily functions! (that isn't a poor joke, i hope, but realization!) anyways, i've been reading all morn, catching up on magazines, learning a bit here & there, which i love to do (even if i'm a middle-aged person doomed to brain-failure)... i want to do duolingo, on which i've been practicing the romance languages of italian, french, & spanish. i've finally figured out if i go from hardest (french) to easiest (spanish), i do better. i think it's complementary, also fun, to do all three at once. the day i tried to add in german, i had a mental hardware-drive crash, so no more german... least for now! i have to wait til james awakens to do duolingo cause it's kinda like a video game, w/active audio requiring one to parrot back & figure out words & sentences... so i'm gonna go for a run, which'll not just smooth out my anxieties, but give time for husband to wake!
... too, i no longer am a laborer, but if you are, happy labor day to you! on the backs of workers has this great country been built... also, by the sweat of labor unions do we (i mean, you) now enjoy a 5 day, rather than 7 day, work week. honest labor is honorable & can bring meaning. may your work bring you a sense of purpose & fulfillment, as teaching did me for so many years, despite its many frustrations!

"in a relationship"... mush alert ahead (you've been warned) (sing five royales' "i'm with you"):

it now is facebook-official. i would analyze that more, but just don't want to. brain was on fire last night, in despair yesterday, 'cause despite this beautiful, unprecedented, scary (what if something happens to him?) time in my life, i still have a mood disorder, but this time the storm was weathered pretty quickly, & he gave me important reassurance, ballasting my capsizing ship like he, my hero, does... oh, to be comforted by & connected w/an understanding human being: what a gift. i no longer need to manipulate, cajole, & turn wild hopeless helpless demon in futile attempts to be recognized as existing... it's time to jettison those old behaviors, no longer necessary. in fact, they hurt him, i'm realizing, because he loves me.
wow. what an amazing statement. someone truly loves me... & shows it! i must be better, more thoughtful, less selfish... i must not hurt him w/old behaviors, pay better attn to my actions. we are fervently, productively in love, growing & growing up & getting better together every single time we interact. i am just flummoxed. as he wrote me, "isn't it just the best feeling in the world?!?!" yes, it is. this is love, baby, not confusion. i must rise to a new standard, be worthy of this blessing, astounding & unexpected. i must protect it, & him; he protects me all the time, i'm realizing, just by being wise & kind & understanding (& willing to "beat the sh*t" out of anyone who hurts my feelings in the least...). people who love one another take care of each other, have each others' best interests in mind, want happiness & health & all things good for their beloved, don't try to control, don't behave in a scary manner... (sing love boat theme) ... again, wow.
has this been enough mush? what can i say? this is my blablablog, & nothing could be more important to blablabla about than this!
these poems are for him, but also for you:

Oh! Love Bird (Love Song) (Kim Robin Edwards)
Oh! Love bird, don't fly away.
Spread your wings, and come my way.
Fly high, don't ever cry.
You will see. You'll soon be mine.
Oh! Love bird, don't leave my side.
Stay with me through out the night.
Oh! Love bird, next to me.
Love bird that's where you'll be.
Whistling a melody.
With me along, a symphony.
Oh! Love bird, don't be shy.
With me along, you'll never cry.
Soaring through out the sky.
Oh! Love bird, I'm by your side.
Oh! Love bird, don't sail away.
There will be another day.
For you and me to live our lives.
We'll sail across, the deep blue skies.
Oh! Love bird, don't fly away.
Oh! Love bird, why don't you stay?

(Rumi)
A moment of happiness,
you and I sitting on the verandah,
apparently two, but one in soul, you and I.
We feel the flowing water of life here,
you and I, with the garden's beauty
and the birds singing.
The stars will be watching us,
and we will show them
what it is to be a thin crescent moon.
You and I unselfed, will be together,
indifferent to idle speculation, you and I.
The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar
as we laugh together, you and I.
In one form upon this earth,
and in another form in a timeless sweet land.

wisdom of the ages...

I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different. -- Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)
schhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifoolhouse rock - youtube... somehow am now at the pt where am too busy to blog. as well as lazy. heeding vonnegut, i feel totally ok with it! :) :) logorrhea will return, no doubt -- for now, farting around (& getting over this interminable cold) prevails!

waaahoooo!!! nearly done!!! : birthing a behemoth

finally!!!!! i just completed a fairly large section of my thesis, the story appendix that accompanies the curriculum/study guide i'm writing... this sucker is a behemoth!!
tentative page counts:
main thesis - 67 pages
curriculum/study guide - 35 pages
education standards - 1 page
at a glance lesson planner - 4 pages
appendix one (leveled stories) - 81 pages
appendices 2-10 - 35 pages
and it's still not finished!!!! so far i have 223 pages!!! i've been a "high maintenance" student, maybe, worried about everything & wanting to do the best i can (which means i ask lots of Qs), but still the profs've been supportive, especially my lovely advisor dr. jo sanzgiri, who is kind, patient, organized, & enthusiastic, too!... this is an important project i've undertaken -- this is definitely no phone-it-in kinda work for me!! read the overview & please give feedback, if you wish... http://www.freewebs.com/learningwithsoul/index.htm