Monday, October 08, 2012

"in a relationship"... mush alert ahead (you've been warned) (sing five royales' "i'm with you"):

it now is facebook-official. i would analyze that more, but just don't want to. brain was on fire last night, in despair yesterday, 'cause despite this beautiful, unprecedented, scary (what if something happens to him?) time in my life, i still have a mood disorder, but this time the storm was weathered pretty quickly, & he gave me important reassurance, ballasting my capsizing ship like he, my hero, does... oh, to be comforted by & connected w/an understanding human being: what a gift. i no longer need to manipulate, cajole, & turn wild hopeless helpless demon in futile attempts to be recognized as existing... it's time to jettison those old behaviors, no longer necessary. in fact, they hurt him, i'm realizing, because he loves me.
wow. what an amazing statement. someone truly loves me... & shows it! i must be better, more thoughtful, less selfish... i must not hurt him w/old behaviors, pay better attn to my actions. we are fervently, productively in love, growing & growing up & getting better together every single time we interact. i am just flummoxed. as he wrote me, "isn't it just the best feeling in the world?!?!" yes, it is. this is love, baby, not confusion. i must rise to a new standard, be worthy of this blessing, astounding & unexpected. i must protect it, & him; he protects me all the time, i'm realizing, just by being wise & kind & understanding (& willing to "beat the sh*t" out of anyone who hurts my feelings in the least...). people who love one another take care of each other, have each others' best interests in mind, want happiness & health & all things good for their beloved, don't try to control, don't behave in a scary manner... (sing love boat theme) ... again, wow.
has this been enough mush? what can i say? this is my blablablog, & nothing could be more important to blablabla about than this!
these poems are for him, but also for you:

Oh! Love Bird (Love Song) (Kim Robin Edwards)
Oh! Love bird, don't fly away.
Spread your wings, and come my way.
Fly high, don't ever cry.
You will see. You'll soon be mine.
Oh! Love bird, don't leave my side.
Stay with me through out the night.
Oh! Love bird, next to me.
Love bird that's where you'll be.
Whistling a melody.
With me along, a symphony.
Oh! Love bird, don't be shy.
With me along, you'll never cry.
Soaring through out the sky.
Oh! Love bird, I'm by your side.
Oh! Love bird, don't sail away.
There will be another day.
For you and me to live our lives.
We'll sail across, the deep blue skies.
Oh! Love bird, don't fly away.
Oh! Love bird, why don't you stay?

(Rumi)
A moment of happiness,
you and I sitting on the verandah,
apparently two, but one in soul, you and I.
We feel the flowing water of life here,
you and I, with the garden's beauty
and the birds singing.
The stars will be watching us,
and we will show them
what it is to be a thin crescent moon.
You and I unselfed, will be together,
indifferent to idle speculation, you and I.
The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar
as we laugh together, you and I.
In one form upon this earth,
and in another form in a timeless sweet land.

1 comment:

Memphis Mike said...

You're BOTH lucky!!!!!!! :-)