zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

marcie, me, donna.  so nice to see my dear friend & her sister.
one person asked if i'd put purple in my hair, another, silver!
my gray hair looks much grayer in daylight!

the busiest part of the past 10 days is over. thursday was shenanigan's, at which i found out i need a new amp; then saturday was doheny, which was over in a whirl! there were tons of people there. 75 feet behind us, an aging major music star was playing, loudly, so i was bent the whole time on trying to hear what we were doing. hi, donna & marcie! yay! they're here! easiest sound check ever, then whoosh! three songs pass... look up, daylight's turned to night. whoosh!! three more songs. i'm singing one. am i on the right notes? can't hear. whoosh! wow! look at james go! listen to anthony! blake & steve, smiling & pounding away. whoosh!! drunk women are climbing the stage, taking their clothes off!! james is insulting them!! whoosh, whoosh, anthony & james are playing & dancing on the table! whoosh, show's over, home. zzzzzzzzzzzz
ps, here is a really cool pic of willie lee "piano red" perryman & one of his line-ups. we listened to piano red all the way to get "stage manager" stan. what a joy! what romping, stomping songs! what beauty!

blablablablablablablabla

-last night i dreamed i called james, & my former mother-in-law answered. "i've been wondering when you were going to call me," she drawled accusingly. my heart lept into my throat w/panic & i hit the end button.
-i woke up with a start.
-this woman has been gone now several yrs, so i guess that part of my subconscious just purged.
- come see us tomorrow at shenanigans, if you'll be in the long beach, ca, usa, shoreline village area. we'll be on 7-11 pm. admission is free, it's all ages, & parking is only nine thousand dollars. unless you park at the next lot over, & then it's free.
-testing is nearly over. i told mom & dad how well my "low" class has been doing, really buckling down,  & dad sighed, "i'm always moved by how much there is to admire about children." i told them that i'm proud of them for trying so hard, the little dickenses, so i'll add dad's line to the reassuring patter...
-tomorrow before the show, james'll come to school to do marching & boot camp with the kids. being the most loud & verbally gifted person i've ever met, he of course used to lead his company (or whatever it's called) when it was time to call cadence. this was in the army some years back.
-i've been telling the kids about james a lot, like i used to do with mom & dad when they'd come visit school (easier for them when we all lived in the same town). the other day, we watched the blizzcon video he did for starcraft 2 video game. three or four who knew that old game gasped! i've told him he was in the army, a boxer, a freight-hopper... kids see through & know the real heart of a person. to them, james is a super hero, the dark knight, mister awesome.
-"is he gonna CUSS?" the boys asked excitedly...
-"oh, i dunno," i answer skeptically; "he could drop the 'f' bomb..."
-"yeah!" they yell. "mister page is COOL!!"
-"but probably not," i finish. "he's intelligent, so y'know that means he adjusts his behavior & speech around different people. like, you know, how you boys talk different to me than when you're around your buddies."
-"yeah," they chuckle, their smartness reinforced, "when we're around just the guys, we talk different."

happy mama's day!!!!! & various "allures"

yaayyyy!!! we had a very nice day with mama in bakersfield: chicken, beans, rice, ice cream cake, then i slept next to james on living room floor under piles of blankets while dad, mama, angie, maddy, doug, & james all watched one of the latest star wars movies on the apple tv thingy... we got home at 4:30 am from last night's gig because someone kept having to go #1 & we also had to return scott lambert's pa head & we also had 3 am breakfast in wilmington along an industrial strip at an all-night diner, spire's, advertising itself to be, in quiet early-morn neon, "the pinnacle of eating." the  friendly signage allured [sic] like a beacon at that hour of night...
ok, i just registered for the 50th bd half-marathon i'll do in long beach, so think we're gonna watch a little tv before my bedtime. this has been a super-busy week & weekend, with underwhelming dana point overnight school field trip; school carnival (james helped so tremendously, in mary pritchard's straw hat, his spectator "clown shoes," burgundy tux coat, & his friendly-scary-demented-charismatic shtick, playing "guess your weight" so humorously & broadly, drawing ticket-givers & wide-eyed kids like bees to honey)... then was last night's shenanigan's show, which went off like gangbusters.
at many points last night, we were cooking so hard, james & i'd just look at each other  from across the "stage" with grimacing smiles & just yell "yaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!" we are so different in so many ways, but in some, like being gutbucket visceral performers, we really, really sync... krystal took these awesome shots: thank you so much!!!

aaaaaaahhhh!!!!

pingponging around online, just made mistake of looking up my old "junk" email to see what would come up on google. pix of me "young"! aaaahh!!! didn't need to see that! me slim, in tiny skirts, no wrinkles, no bloating (tho of course at that time i thought i was fat & looked like a man)! drat! curiously, my "young" years were pretty chronologically old: 35 to early 40s... anyways, i had a wild life back then, i now realize. i was happy, however, that amongst the shots was a collage i made of dear friend stacy, who took her life many years ago, as well as elements of my old life i DO want to remember, for tho we're no longer married, my 1st husband was a good man, & we had travels & wonderful dog children... anyways, i type quickly to post about show tonight at shenanigan's, shoreline village, long beach ca, 8 pm-midnight.  poster is attached to this post... james will kill, like he most-always does, & he listed me on poster he made as "special guest." wow! damn postermywalls... they watermark now "free" download version of poster. i realized too late, this time, a way around that, but we decided to just run with it this way for time's sake.. the pic is dramatic, but haunts me: that was the first time out in public for james & i, july 4 2012, & he was very ill, which we didn't know at that time... things are so much better health- & life-wise for us both now! :D
just mapped out a near-5k up in the hills around the house: to the water tower, back down, up west end road, around the tree., then the fast rocky descent back to the house.. gonna get my shoes on & go. have decided for my half-century bd i will do a half-marathon, since i did my 1st one at age 40... been reading about how much running increases something called "compression of morbidity," which means the amount of years you can live healthily (able to dress self, make own meals) before death. ideally, one lives fairly mobilely to age 90 or so, then goes peacefully in sleep... our family friend don, ww2 vet, james's combat-vet buddy, dad's close friend, age 92, will likely experience that departure. i hope the same for me & all my loved ones, tho very few of us actually exercise enough to meet that fate, likely... and i drink too much diet soda, which means exercise all i want, but i'll likely get dementia unless i stop... anyways, gonna go potty then shoe up to head out. lotsa coffee this a.m.; maybe that will curtail possibility of dementia...
next weekend: doheny blues fest! this week: standardized testing at school, thursday night show at shenanigans for combo... this month is killer busy for me. i have my sights set on the outcome, last day of school. after that, summer! the busy times drop off! music & travel, one month away. yayy!!
hope to see you tonight, if you read this & will be near long beach.

i don't float.

good heavens, this sinus headache is a horror... please abate, please go way, please be flattened by the otc i just took; wow -- what pain: reminds me of when i lived in bakersfield (blablabla)... tomorrow i go on an overnight field trip to the ocean institute with our students. three hours on the school bus through my least favorite part of the western world, orange county, then i sleep on the floor because we have so many parent volunteers (which is nice... except i SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!!)... then back on the school bus... aaaaaaaaahhH!!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!
but seriously, i'm sure i'll experience moments of enjoyment amongst the cat herding & lion taming that make up a lot of my work. plus it's supposed to be a rilly neat place to visit.
i hope my pledge of "in loco parentis" will not be tested by some of our more wingnutty darlings, tho. one in particular, i love him, but i braced myself as if it were happening, picturing his mad little spaced-out face & imagining him impulsively jumping off the boat into the ocean, then me dutifully following him, for i must, i must, i must do all i can to keep them kids safe, & i will, even if i die in the process....
running is going well with my teacher bud christy.  my hamstring injury is healing. the other day i did my own informal 5k in bakersfield, & it was super enjoyable! the skies were huge! i got into the groove. so fun to run again!! after running today, i got to have a "farewell" dinner w/james (since we'll be apart for a whole two days). at this particular restaurant, THREE of the waitresses are parents of students i have. i chatted with them all about their kids & assured them i will keep all safe. (and i WILL. just please, great pumpkin, let the group behave!!) one particularly earnest, chatty, & friendly mother, with whom i always talk at great length about her handsome son, sweetly comped us our dinner. wow! ... ah, headache is lessening; thank you, universe that my small mind must personify...

james finally came in the room (he's been cleaning up his mud room, a major chore, & you should see it! he has a million projects going! so creative & kooky & inspired is james...) so i'm gonna stop. just wanted to post these pix from dad's birthday in bakersfield the other day. dad passed out lyric sheets to "king of the road," "franky & johnny" (all 10 verses), & "hello ma baby" &, as i plunked piano, all sang. james stood alongside dad & mama, & it's been a great many moons since i've seen our dad smile so large.... james is a real blessing to me & the family. :)

sadsadsadsadsad, waah! waah! waaah!

- so sad. so so so so sad!!! hate feeling this way. hate feeling like i'm on the outside looking in!! this is how i spent most of my life til i started drinking. then i was filled with liquid courage & a feeling of being better than everyone, tho secretly i knew i was much much worse.
- i've been vetting my blog of gross people i've known, & saw how after my first marriage ended, i went into an extended nervous breakdown, carrying on, (mostly) working, but nearly out of my mind with grief, guilt-driven mania, & sadness. the guy i was seeing had really convinced me i was crazy & inherently wrong. i believed it!! that was evil behavior, just evil.
- i'm emotional, not crazy. but dang it, i've always been so sensitive. mama always has told me to toughen up... it's never happened!! still get my feelings hurt so deeply. i hate it!!
- this morn after yoga i picked us up a box from the post office. it contained two fisher-price toys: james's was a see'n'say; he pulled its string & it began to spin: "the cow says moo!" we both smiled, then he rolled over & went back to sleep. mine? my favorite babyhood toy, the music-box record player. you activated it by turning the yellow plastic crank, then sliding the chunky arm on to the colorful plastic record disc, which bore raised rectangular grooves. you turned it off with a plastic toggle on top of the player, storing the multi-colored "records" in a slot (they always fell out & i remember them laying amongst all the toys on the floor in our room). this set-up was all so much more charming than the everyday battery operation the little device now relies upon. however, i desperately wanted to hear it, so james got me a tiny screwdriver & i inserted batteries. the little song started to play, & i couldn't help it: i burst into tears. i hadn't heard those little songs in at least 45 years! the sense memory that poured out was accompanied by no details. i just suddenly felt  overwhelmingly sad, confused, & joyful. maybe hearing those songs took me back to the emotions i felt as a baby!
- was supposed to have an event today for the kids at fort tejon. cancelled it. james said, "look at the weather. you need to cancel!" and i did! i shouldn't have. i thought i was going to have a full evening; that influenced me cancelling. then it never rained!! and now i'm not having a full evening!! i feel guilty. i should've been there for the kids. most all of them weren't going to be there, but mama said i should be there for the ones that would. and i didn't. and now i'm home. i feel like a failure, like i let them down, even tho everyone i called sounded not one bit disappointed or surprised. the weather had turned bad... but it never rained. i feel like an idiot. :(
- tonight's anthony's birthday. i love anthony!! tonight the band has a super-fun show. here i am at home. james & i had a misunderstanding & i got my feelings hurt. not a fight, no marriage troubles, we have been getting along very well... but we had talked about tonight. he didn't remember. and i cancelled my school event.. and now i'm home... i could've gone anyway, but too many baby feelings welled up: frustration, sadness, so sad, so frustrated, waawaaawaaa!
- no one to blame but myself.
- a rabbit just hopped down a game trail across the arroyo. this morn when i woke, i saw more animals than ever out the beautiful window: flocks of birds streaming north; two chestnut-black-&-white chipmunks, so cute, jumping here & there; a dumb-looking little gopher scooting earth out in toothy mouthfuls as he burrowed; a lovely rabbit loping along, stopping to nibble grass; then the quail!, the lookout male, regal & funny & beautiful, keeping a watch as the covey waddled through the backyard.... a little cat has appeared. he is as sweetly friendly as peewee is antisocial. peewee, saved by james when pee was only about a week old, never has been socialized in feline ways. this little cat is different, so lovable, even needy, in a "normal" cat way. we named him peeps due to his squeaky mew. so there is much animal life around here for which to be grateful.
- this past week was teacher appreciation week, so two of our  high-power teachers spearheaded a really nice daily thank-you for us all, decorating the lounge, nice treats daily, friday, a taco bar & "awards" for us all (their students colored them). the awards i received were these: cheesy jokes award; stageworthy award (for encouraging students to be ready to be in the spotlight); and (my favorite) lights up the room award. i am thankful for these kind recognitions. they remind me that i am appreciated, even loved, at my school. and damn me for cancelling today's event at fort tejon... there's not much i can do now except not wallow. and next time, just do it.
- james just called near tears. "i'm so sorry," he said, "now i remember us talking about you playing tonight. please forgive me." and i do. how can i not? i love him so much.
- tomorrow is dad's birthday. he wants us all to "sing songs." i have a plant for him, too. it's nearly perished under my care, but i know dad will make it grow lush & happy.
- i will read. i will rest. someday again i'll play lots of music, ike i used to in my "crazy" days.  i might not play as much as i used to, but i like the person i am better now, & that's much more important.
- have a fun evening, if you're still reading.

aaaahhhhhhhhhh......... running calms the infernal coconut

i just "ran" a 10k, the first "race" of any length i've attempted in 5 years. my time was quite slow. i have self-diagnosed myself as having upper hamstring tendinopathy after watching videos & reading, so started rehabbing myself at home, but i'm a flake, so i dropped the ball & it's sore again. i've been sick all week, too (read below about My Hero, who often is more tragic hero, actually)... i was slow slow, but i know i can get strong again. it's been near-10 years since i got into running. i guess this one i just did was pretty difficult, through the tejon ranch "conservancy" (how noble of them to preserve all this beautiful land Just for Us... tho i doubt their motives when they used some of that land for an outlet mall & now will jam in a huge town right at the base of the grapevine)...i just found this image of the elevation profile of the total course.

in line for the commode, we meet a bunch of amped-up women in matching workout gear who were hyping their obstacle training course in long beach... tho probably in better shape than i, they fell behind quickly, likely not used to the elevation since they live at sea level (they train on signal hill, which tho a steep hill, is at most a few hundred feet high). i'd be in the same boat if i ran in, say, flagstaff or albq or machu picchu. ha!

the course was quite beautiful; the "conservancy" seems to have a lot more water available than does the general mountain area... green, rolling hills; robin's-egg skies; black and dark green oaks; a lake; the shadows; the breezes: nice... i started off with christy & her daughter, but told them to go on as i immediately felt my hamstring seize. but i finished, i finished, i finished, & the best part of long runs usually IS finishing, unless one is strong enough to run endlessly, & then the pleasure is in the act... but i'm no longer, or maybe just not right now (i hope), that strong....

one of my dear sponsees just called; we had such a great chat! it's amazing how talking with another alcoholic woman can help me so, so much. related to our talk is this:

alcoholism is such an insidious disease. it breaks the hearts of all who love the alcoholic. there are a thousand ways it ruins lives. 12 step programs may not be for you, but please, if you read this & relate, i beg you to change by whatever method works for you. an alcoholic death is a slow, painful, ravaging misery upon you and everyone who loves you. jnypg (sober not because i hate drinking, but because i love it too much, to my ruin) http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/INFO%20LIST/20Questions.htm

(ps, normal drinkers, party on)

a character & a man of true character

just saw this pic on fb & was compelled to post, moved by james's kindness & consideration. i've been sick, home from work, even, feeling awful physically. he told me, don't worry, honey, stay home, i'll go down & do the show [100 miles away]. so here he is, holding it down solo while i've sat at home all eve... what a brave & awesome performer. four hours all alone (tho backed most expertly by steve kida on drums) when he'd prepared for a combo show. because he did this, i won't be sicker tomorrow; i won't miss work again; & likely i might even feel well by the weekend... i know many people love whiteboy james, but many talk in rumors & innuendos about him. i love james so much, & so please know, if you didn't (but bet you did, if you know james) what you see here is the real man, the one who'd do anything for a loved one in need.

vacation snapshots

 

   

home

sweet home

must-add

this is what mike malone saw when he saw krystal's pic of james:

cesareo in the bakersfield paper also had noted the resemblance in a recent article he wrote...

vacation

big foot ton-of-bricks peewee took a siesta atop my tender organs

this great photo from krystal would make a fine t-shirt image

we're going on vacation later today. wheee!! five people will watch "the pink palace" here, & i think big ed in particular will be ready to bust any heads that come on our property while we're away... friday night was so, so, so exhausting. i worked 1/2 day, left cascarones & easter peeps for the kids, then hopped in car & went through traffigeddon to pick up james. the city traffic increasingly maddens me!! i hate it more & more each time!! how do people do it day after day??? (sing canned heat; be grateful for small towns & public transportation)... the formerly-workhorse truck has been problems, problems, problems: we ended up leaving it w/reliable jeff, who'll fix it & drive it back to us, thus allowing him to get some time out of the city,  time to exhale & breathe fresh mountain air.

i took james to his gig, went to dollar bookstore, drove by a mexican circus, all lit up weird & cheerful (too late to go see it), had pancakes, then back to james's where the audience forgot to show up but he sang & played his soul out, looking like a film noir movie star, as usual... james is born to be in the limelight, i know: can't wait for his upcoming festivals so he can shine for the masses...

i got us a room at the ludlow motel past barstow mid-mojave desert. you check in at the gas station. the whole town is gas station, motel, cafe. nice! think i stayed there long ago, but can't really remember.

next day if time it'd be fun to dip down onto old route 66 through bagdad, amboy (with the photogenic roy's motel), then back up en route to flagstaff. dunno if we'll have time for both grand canyon (the main 1st destination: james's never been there, & i might's well've never been, w/my porous memory) & wupatki ruins... flagstaff's one of my top-25 places to visit, so i'm looking fwd to this... then on to james's fave, las vegas, our desired stopping pt being fremont st area/old downtown, NOT the gross strip... this reminds me, one of my books from dollar book fair is entitled elvis shrines; better check before we go to make sure we don't miss any.

seven years ago

at left is 1st pic of us, 2010
at right is most recent pic of us, 2017
i have lost my girlish looks, but at my age, i think that's ok.
i remember that day: it was hotter than hell in bakersfield at vinny's; james's then-guitarist rushed in while we played & gestured for us to keep going. james was late. later i learned he'd almost died that day in a near-wreck en route to the show. spying the ppl he was with that day, i ignored my suspicion that james was underworld-connected, mebbe... he walked me to my car, talking my head off about being a voice actor, korean fans lined up 100s deep to get his autograph at blizzcon, comic books, gigs, a history book he was reading, & so many topics, i thought, wow! this guy is so nice! so friendly! i must've been wrong in my earlier assessment! i like him! what a cool guy!
seven years ago.
later that eve, james showed up at my 2nd band show of the day at narducci's. i remember kaykay telling me, "i think he really liiiikes you," but it didn't really register because how could it be true that a steamrolling chick-magnet tough guy like whiteboy james would like me?... james & my then-bass player did tricks w/cigarettes & then i had to go home because in those days i was really stupid. my then-guitarist walked me out bc he had to go home, too. (he was married. that was not stupid.)
i wish i'd stayed & hung out with james that night, but i was too stupid, as i said, divorce-grief-stricken & -guilt-ridden & self-punishing. didn't know things would get much better in my life, tho it would take years & lots of james & i getting to know each other.
four days and counting to our vacation!!!!!!

blue blue blooooooobloooooooooooooooo

many yrs ago my band the dusk devils pulled onto (probably; i didn't know LB back then) shoreline or ocean in long beach to go play a festival at the queen mary. i saw signs for & heard wonderful music from the long beach bayou blues festival. i thought, "i want to play THERE!, not WHERE WE'RE GOING!!!" now i get to play there with james & the blues express.
this has been a wonderful day, & now i have the blues. this is how it goes for me. i had wonderful yoga, with kind, funny debbie; wonderful talks with wonderful people; wonderful mexican breakfast with wonderful parents & handsome spouse (he's wonderful, too); wonderfully soaring mountain drive through purple lupines, scatterings of bright orange poppies (popping with color!), startling spray of yellow splashed across rolling green fields out of impressionist paintings; a winding valley of dark-green pine & bucolic ranchos, the glorious air, magical "elfen" pine canyon road,  overhanging, curling oak branches & leaves dappling the road with shadows, then shopping in our little town: a rummage sale; the market; our new organic food store, carrots fresh from the earth,  sweet & covered with dirt, once washed, snapping with flavor... but now? blue blue blue.
i know this: this, too, shall pass.
here is a bio i wrote for the fest; they picked a dazzling pic of james to accompany it. his handsome mug with my grabbing copy make for, i believe (tho with considerable bias) the most compelling & attractive musical act of all...
please check out the link. whiteboy james at bayou blues festival
here's what they picked to run for doheny: whiteboy james at dohney blues festival
... when i am in shavasana lately, i realize: this is where you'll be permanently in not too many years. jenny: you and everyone you love & every human to walk this earth... what kind of crap is that to ponder???
my gloomy-happy brain must be this way for some reason... or maybe not! there must be purpose... right?

good morning!

it's so beautiful outside. the wildflowers have been gorgeous! the mountain is stunning these days.  the air is so fresh, so enlivening, so evocative... may your day be lovely.

work it through, work it through...

i know my husband is a hunk, even if some fake-faced idiots act as if they're "above" him, even tell him that, as they slaver & drool over him. i understand he has power over women (haha; can't help but think of dr strangelove when i write that line). i've seen hundreds (no exaggeration) of women's eyes light up & bodies start to quiver as james does his weird & virile thing. they quake. i get it.
however, it is NOT ok for people who know we are married -- from dumb, moronic & slutty to merely dumb & moronic to quite bright (tho those types don't do this) -- to disrespect us by sending him flirty messages & trying to flirt with him when they think i am not looking. (i always am looking. but i ignore most all so that i have some sanity.)
men who've tiptoed &/or trod into sexual-interest toward me have been threatened with bodily harm. some received bodily harm. all have fled for the hills years ago. no man talks flirtatiously to me at all any more... not just bc i'm now gray... not just bc i'm 49 years old... not just bc i stay clear of all men except the wonderful blues express band, my dad, my bro-in-law, & my spouse. (i've tended to have binary feelings toward men -- demonizing or idolizing -- so it's a relief, actually, to just stay away from them...)
all other men who know of james know they might end up in cement shoes if they go too near me.
i have no recourse except to hold my head high. but just for the moment my mind seethes w/revenge scenarios that would make a slasher movie bad guy shriek.
my sister is a black belt. i will give her a call.
greer likely deals with this problem with her adorable anthony. greer is super-cool & mellow & smart, but i look at her & know she doesn't put up with any nonsense. she also looks like she could clean someone's clock REALLY well, if pushed!
i am not weak, "all muscle, baby," james will say as he growls like frankenstein, but my temperament  fundamentally is too gentle for me to take it out physically on someone else...
so i will fantasize about angie & greer taking turns pounding the dogsh*t out of slutty moron dumbhead. then good sense will return as i remember mama's adage: "living well is the best revenge."
slutty moron dumbhead fakeface may drool over james, but i am married to him. as he says, "those b*tches don't know me. nobody knows me but you, baby."
i think i wrote a song on this topic! i will now go to the piano & sing it.
ha! good sense has returned! thank you, muse. thank you, great pumpkin.

no yoga!!! aaaaah!!!!... and cool photos

photo by casey reagan

thought yoga teacher debbie was still in costa rica, didn't go. she's here. aaaaaaahhhh!!! i missed awesome saturday morning yoga at the library!!!! crap!!!!
just added a new free yoga channel on roku, so guess will do that today. and "run." i put that in quotes bc my pace has become snail-like after reading the book the world at my feet, a boring book about an amazing accomplishment: aussie guy my age or beyond runs AROUND THE WORLD using "attrition running" method, which means slowwwww & steady, the way ancient humans used to wear out prey. our physiology reflects this basic purpose, from steadying tendon behind skull (so we don't head-bob like a chicken when ambulating) to gigantic gluteus maximus (shock absorber) to arch of foot (same). i've been sometimes running w/my cheerful science teacher friend christy, who noted my BP & resting heart rate will drop if i will run more.
I LOVE TO RUN!!! I NEED TO DO THIS FOR MY HEALTH & HAPPINESS!!!!
anyways, we didn't go see gene & phil yesterday. james has been sick w/cold. so here are pix from last wkend's shows, which both were really awesome except oildale people AGAIN stole from james (time-before-last, his t-shirts; this time, his harmonicas), so next visit to oildale will likely bring major ass-whuppin' upon some rat coward thieves & disrespecters... except for the top, these great pix are from kaykay & krystal. i feature more pix of me bc this is my blog. top pic of james is one that casey r photoed: james is one super-photogenic awesome stud of a frontman. :)
oh! and now i can say: he & band (he says including me) will play at this year's bayou blues festival AND doheny blues festival. :) whoo-hooo!!!
one more fest is pending. more later. time to go "run." :)

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by kaykay jagger

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

photo by krystal kozak

blablablablablablabla

- i've been thinking a million things, so here are some: driving & crying the other day, home from kicka*s mfing fantastic show in seal beach, welled up w/sorrow listening to chuck berry tribute on kpfk, was thinking how one of my most favorite things to do in this life is to drive & listen to chuck berry. i wrote a song about it, in part, 20 years ago. chuck berry's music & driving have been an inextricable part of my life. so many emotions, so many feelings, so many memories... god bless chuck berry, even if he personally was a mfer. some of the most talented people on earth, i know, are more than part-crazy, & a big part of that can be mean as a junkyard dog. it all just goes together... then that night i dreamed i was married to manuel, my dear departed friend who played beautiful rockin chuck berry guitar, & god bless james, i told him about my dream & he gently quipped, "i dreamed i was married to manuel, too"... bloodshot bill posted on facebook a CB pic he'd cut out of a library book & hung on his wall when he was young and... I CUT THE SAME PIC OUT OF A LIBRARY BOOK & HUNG IT ON MY WALL WHEN I WAS YOUNG!!! (it's still up there, in fact!)... so i watched one of bb's more recent videos in which he plays w/a band instead of just himself (no lewd joke there; that's been his wild shtick) & there were too many bodies on the stage; it was unnecessary; but i still dig his charlie feathers/hasil adkins vocals, even if mister page says they're contrived. to contrive to sound like those cats is universes cooler than the contrived vocals many other musicians bleet & blah. it's like "girl" singers who ape wanda jackson or janis martin or "girl" scenesters who ape bettie page: just about who on earth is cooler to imitate than them??? i wonder when "girls" will start trying to be like sister rosetta or big mama or poison ivy?... then suddenly on kpfk came the most horrible, putrid, lame-a*s version of "come on." i began to scream; in my rage, i nearly wrecked my car!!! it felt like my ears had been hit by a dumptruck of sh*t!! simpering, whining sh*t!!!! turns out this "come on" cover had been the rolling stones' 1st single, & i knew in that very moment why james has always despised the rolling stones... their version of "come on" was SO, SO, SO, SO BAD!!!!!
- the brit invasion bringing american music back into the world was not just ironic, but a catch-22: ironic cause they loved & still love our music more than we do, catch-22 bc back in the early 60s, new audiences were being exposed to our wonderful american music via lame, flaccid, face-bashingly bad covers! had the stones' version of "come on" been released 10-15 years later, i like to picture, american music purists would have stomped the crap out of mick & the stones & all others who did injustice to the CB catalog!!
- i calmed myself; the terrible cover ended; kpfk played some more great chuck cuts.. then, just like that, like projectile vomiting, ELO's "roll over beethoven" came on... WHY HAS NO ONE KILLED THEM FOR PUTTING THIS OUT?!?!?! WHY DID CHUCK BERRY NOT GET A TRUCKLOAD OF DYNAMITE & TAKE OUT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM?!?!? i am married to someone who once pelted in the mug w/a grapefruit a certain phony pop-rockabilly icon, right in the middle of the icon's big fancy stage show (& then was removed, laughing hysterically, by bouncers, who "beat the sh*t" out of him while he continued to laugh maniacally)... and that rockabilly icon, phony as he may be, at least had the decency not to desecrate a chuck berry song by releasing it as a single... Editi used to think ELO were merely innocuous, but now i know: ELO & all like them  who re-record our great american music with evil intention of "improving" upon it must be stopped... STOP THEM BEFORE THEY RECORD!!!! CHAIN THEM!! KICK THEM REPEATEDLY!!! SEND THEM TO THE CORNFIELD!!!
- this week, w/great music on my mind so much, i flashed on this dunce i was involved with in a 2-year mistake that saved a place for james. this genius used to say things like, "you're just judgmental. i like ALL styles of music because I'M open-minded" (this from the most judgmental person i had ever met). then the person would talk about the one gig he did in his entire life, in which he of course named the band after himself (it was most likely just a set, not an entire gig)... but i know that, rather than me being "small-minded,"i have good taste, i know what i like, & he was & probably still is a do-nothing turd. james & i know what's good!!! we will not budge on what is good!!!!! life is too short to listen to bad music!!!!!!
- oh, it has been such a long week already... i think i'm kinda delirious...
- we are supposed to go see the gene taylor trio on friday; i can't wait! gene posted a vid of himself  playing, & his hand position is so perfect, so loose yet firm; he can play every run with perfect ease & groove; his attack is so solid, so friendly, so rockin... phil alvin will be joining the trio. james & i will, i hope, have a swell old time. and if that combo pays tribute to chuck berry with a song, i know one thing: it will honor the king of rock'n'roll. it will be worthy....
just realized i forgot the pix. i'll put them up another time... gnite.

sadsadsadsad news.... and busybusybusybusybusy

oh my gosh, last night after somnambulating home, i finally got tucked in bed next to the snoring one & read the chuck berry had passed away yesterday. oh my gosh... so sad. but manuel now gets to play with his number one hero in heaven, my child-imagination pretends. and linda a from bakersfield wrote, "he was 90. let him rest. we still have his music." that is too true. but also, james's friend james cotton, the magnificent blues harmonica player/musician, also passed away thursday. :( i am so not looking forward to telling him when he wakes up. this is sad news. chuck berry has been our shared musical hero, along with the blasters, big joe turner, the 5 royales... no one has innovated music like chuck berry (with johnny johnson's rollicking piano integral to it all): no one!! so this morn as we prepare to go will be delicate, but i need to let him know...
oh so busy... yes, gonna wake the man in 10 mins, so blogging quickly. we'll be playing at clancy's in seal beach noon-4 pm today. have had his whirlwind birthday weekend; this is the closer. it's been a bit too much this time, all the music this weekend, w/my right-now-extremely-busy teaching schedule,! but friday in bksfld was so sosososososo fun!! what a thing i get to do, even with the sometimes crash-&-burn experiences in between with moody me & moody james.
the place was packed. the family showed up. dad looked dapper with lincoln beard & bola; mama smiled so prettily throughout; angie & big doug wore silly st patty's hats & sturdily helped break up a fight...
this will be a big year for james gig-wise. :) can't say more right now!! he has some really swell engagements coming up in the late spring-early summer months.... yayyyy!!!!!!
as for me, time to get ready to go. peewee will have to be a latchkey kitty for one more day. i get to chauffeur the mercurial, magnificent whiteboy james to the show, then be part of the amazing blues express roller coaster w/absolutely winning & wonderful anthony, as well as steve & blake, then escort my dear whirlwind home, then teach school tomorrow... whew. i am a very lucky sometimes massively depressed & crisis-filled bag of fragile human water & assorted other matter.  today i hope will be happy auto-pilot w/lots of endorphins, smiles, & maybe a few nice solos amongst the pounding horn parts my clumsy piano fingers play...

estomago

i have a stomach ache. very tired. it's cold.
the weather, that is.
started yesterday an interesting reading class for teachers in bakersfield. six sessions.
fascinating, really. inspiring, yes.
never liked these teacher classes. thought they were stupid. thought many of the teachers were stupid.
i don't think it was the classes or other teachers that were stupid, come to think of it. :)
long long day today, leaving bakoland at 6 am with lunch packed by mama (to whom angie, me, james & doug all are perenially 8-9 years old, tho our actual combined ages are closer to 200). heaven love mama & dad, who gave us an extra mouse to replace the stupid apple one that took a crap bc apple is all about expensive built-in-obsolescence robbery (though the system be much hardier than pc).
james hits the pavement again starting this weekend. malarkey's, 4 pm sunday, LBC. be there or be a tomater.
i will not type what he just said.
it was obscene.
now he is singing a scatological version of a christmas carol, so i beg him to stop & now he's doing an impromptu version of something that sounds like the itchy & scratchy show, but to the tune of "do you hear what i hear"...
"i'm married to the ghost of robin williams," i told mama last night, & she hee-heed merrily. after dinner last night, after the not-stupid class, that is, we all sat & visited, & when james  & bro doug get going, the volume is unholy & if we all weren't falling on the ground laughing at their bellowing hilarity, we'd likely become deaf. "your mother & i didn't mean to marry such similar persons," i told pained-looking niece madeline, "you know: two loud obnoxious strange-o's who are yet so lovable & look like extras from some 1940s gangster film..." this made her laugh.
he is happy to have just spoken at length on phone with mister james the second. "he's a good guy," he says, worrying away at the latest clay figurine. our house is filling up with clay monsters, but this one is "a liddo wabbit," he said, now singing a song about the worthless cat: "obi wan keno-peeee..." now he is dancing around the kitchen. now imitating a machine gun. now... oh, i can't say. :)
time to go watch shum boob toob.