aaaaaaahhhh!!!!

pingponging around online, just made mistake of looking up my old "junk" email to see what would come up on google. pix of me "young"! aaaahh!!! didn't need to see that! me slim, in tiny skirts, no wrinkles, no bloating (tho of course at that time i thought i was fat & looked like a man)! drat! curiously, my "young" years were pretty chronologically old: 35 to early 40s... anyways, i had a wild life back then, i now realize. i was happy, however, that amongst the shots was a collage i made of dear friend stacy, who took her life many years ago, as well as elements of my old life i DO want to remember, for tho we're no longer married, my 1st husband was a good man, & we had travels & wonderful dog children... anyways, i type quickly to post about show tonight at shenanigan's, shoreline village, long beach ca, 8 pm-midnight.  poster is attached to this post... james will kill, like he most-always does, & he listed me on poster he made as "special guest." wow! damn postermywalls... they watermark now "free" download version of poster. i realized too late, this time, a way around that, but we decided to just run with it this way for time's sake.. the pic is dramatic, but haunts me: that was the first time out in public for james & i, july 4 2012, & he was very ill, which we didn't know at that time... things are so much better health- & life-wise for us both now! :D
just mapped out a near-5k up in the hills around the house: to the water tower, back down, up west end road, around the tree., then the fast rocky descent back to the house.. gonna get my shoes on & go. have decided for my half-century bd i will do a half-marathon, since i did my 1st one at age 40... been reading about how much running increases something called "compression of morbidity," which means the amount of years you can live healthily (able to dress self, make own meals) before death. ideally, one lives fairly mobilely to age 90 or so, then goes peacefully in sleep... our family friend don, ww2 vet, james's combat-vet buddy, dad's close friend, age 92, will likely experience that departure. i hope the same for me & all my loved ones, tho very few of us actually exercise enough to meet that fate, likely... and i drink too much diet soda, which means exercise all i want, but i'll likely get dementia unless i stop... anyways, gonna go potty then shoe up to head out. lotsa coffee this a.m.; maybe that will curtail possibility of dementia...
next weekend: doheny blues fest! this week: standardized testing at school, thursday night show at shenanigans for combo... this month is killer busy for me. i have my sights set on the outcome, last day of school. after that, summer! the busy times drop off! music & travel, one month away. yayy!!
hope to see you tonight, if you read this & will be near long beach.