here i is, i is here

the hostel clerk is online listening to dervishy sitar music... feel a little swoony, but it might be the abq nm altitude... i opted here @ the rt 66 hostel for the $35 rm instead of $20 dorm bed & my place upstairs (am sitting in common rm/kitchen area to do the net thing) is HUGE!!! - sitting rm w/futon, arched entry leading to bedrm w/2 beds, bay windows, private bath (unusual in a hostel, you know)... it's old & funky. like me. oh; having just finished trauma camp, i know i shouldn't speak of myself in such ways. no more cheap jokes! not for tonight, anyhow. but that one was too good to avoid. :)
what to say about life healing center, santa fe, nm? if you know someone in serious distress, wanting to check out of this life, & can make it happen financially, send them! LHC treats mind-body-spirit, no pill-pushing -- just compassion, education, camaraderie, love, uncovering of core reasons for crippling life problems. from it, i feel new, w/internal partner i never realized was there, skills to be a grown-up w/integrity & dignity, the ability to be genuine & realistic... if i use what i learned & do not magnify, but instead recognize & integrate the dark side.
there's some chance now my insides can match my outsides. obviously, this is a very, very good deal, much more than reprieve from desire to check out, which is all i asked for. this morning i said goodbye to dear stacy (she is commemorated near the women's smoke pit, where she would've been the life of the party), walked the grounds labyrinth for the last time (walked it most days i was there). it's been snowing like crazy, arctic weather in nm unprecedented in 40 yrs. sun-lit ice crystals wafted all around like magic celestial jewels, reminders of the eternal spirit of sky & land... i looked up just as a flock of rose-bellied birds flew over, beautiful brothers & sisters. said bye thru tears to wonderful women. even the men said bye, tho we're not sposed to talk. the true love, not lust or fear-based desire for clinging, was palpable more & more each day. we rooted for each other. i grew to love & respect so many. mama said i was courageous to see i needed help, but i didn't see courage til i met the other ppl @ LHC, staff & clients. self-actualization, authenticity: what a task! achievable, but such hard work! besides gratitude, my middle name now must be vigilance, for to have these skills now is a miracle, & it could be an ephemeral one if i'm not careful...
i could blab on & on, obviously; if you read this & want to know more about LHC, please email me. would love to share more.
being off the grounds felt surreal: walking freely, getting my own meals, window shopping, exploring. the train ride to abq was pleasant, sleepy. checked in to hostel, explored on ft the old downtown abq, saw true grit, ate pizza & drank soda & read the free papers (ken's LHC cooking was good, but oh, to eat non-LHC food!!! wow!!!!) i'll miss my new sisters... but will see them soon. more true friends! more love! amazing.
"when you turn toward the light, the shadows fall away."
as pasha would say, "warmth & kindness to you."

aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!! a possible show & 6 new songs!!!!!

->hi, hej da, hi-ho, what's happening, hola! see below & above for info on dusk devils' two upcoming shows, sat 2/7 & fri 2/27. am working on booking a show w/the band of one of my favorite all-time actors (based in sta fe, but coming thru town -- whaddaya know!!) ... his band's called the troublemakers & he "blows harp" (i quote cause all i know about harmonica begins & ends w/my love of little walter jacobs) authentically, not phony & embarrassing like some who when they play (WHY?) make me want to hide my head in their honor. we'll just see what happens... more important to me al momento is that FINALLY i was able to upload some more of my tunes. the hosting site's been all messed up, but here are six more, all one man band recordings, which means rough rough rough rough rough, but hopefully done w/spirit that makes listening fun or cool or teeth-gritting or whatever. the newly uploaded songs are the 1st 6 listed at http://www.esnips.com/web/jenny-angel-dusk-devils-ex-girlfriends-music :
- hey bus driver
- hideaway
- no pills, no booze, no way
- mexican blanket
- two left feet
- one final night
thank you ahead of time, if you listen, & esp for feedback.
be happy, be well, be be be be be be... again, here's the link:
http://www.esnips.com/web/jenny-angel-dusk-devils-ex-girlfriends-music