this friday! woohoo!

we will be redeemed!

"friend...gooood..."

wie geht's, meine freunde?(warning -- alliteration ahead:) a couple of my most musical monster mates just had birthday blowout bashes. here are some graphics for them, & you, too, if you like... a few wks back, too, was bd of my future ex-husband, the creative big bro of all us in this particular little musical pond... looking fwd to aping big bro's 1st record w/our next (bsp, who's got broader musical interest than do i, said the clash did this w/elvis); auditioning for act whom i'm told will Travel w/a cap "t" (oh crap -- where's my passport?!?); working again w/al hendrix, the lost rocker; dusk devils groovings w/art fein, who says he'll make us "sound right" & "what've you [i] been waiting for?" & we'll feature this time all-original tunes -- 15 of them!
post-snowpocalypse, the "mad-wind's night work, the frolic architecture of snow" has calmed & this place, good gravy, is gloriously gorgeous!! no alpine resort could beat this mtn's beauty @ this moment. :) i hear bksfld's pretty lovely right now, too. time to pack a bag & get this bag down the hill.
today, let us all "be... the rainbow in the storms of life."
another great one: "i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning to sail my ship." (louisa may alcott)

cabin fever brings lack of fortitude, longing for smoggy bakersfield. snowpocalypse is here!

now i know why melville used white as a metaphor for evil. snow snow snow, everyplace is snow... there's no color! just blank blank blank, wind, fury, flurries that at 1st (10 hrs ago) looked to dance, now just menace, unnerve, bore, blah! friends've said today, "how beautiful it must be!" i grew up in the san joaquin valley. now, no one wants the valley's putrid cow air or particulate smog-death, but we natives're designed for hot! color! the springtime-beautiful, flat, green & golden valley! not this!!!
the power has been out most of the day & night. trees sway, weave, then crack, limbs snapping off under the wt of snow. the neighbor's took out my cable line as i sat staring out the window, stupid w/boredom, but it missed my truck! & also, i have no cable! so far, so good, really! but i wouldn't be surprised if i lose my phone or power lines before this storm's over. & if the power lasts? that'll be amazing! i'm not holding my breath!
i got the report from bksfld tv. 30 cars are stuck down in the middle of this town! this town is the hardest-hit of all storm areas! my neighbor says he's been here 8 yrs & this is the worst storm yet! all i know is, i am anxious & bored. i tell myself, no one's ever died of boredom. be thankful! it IS beautiful. but falling trees, no power, i shudder w/dread!... now, as dusk nears, the juice snaps back on for now. thank you, edison!
i look out & see a gigantic vehicle stuck right below my driveway. right there out the window! i don't want to look. it's embarrassing to all, to see such a sturdy-seeming beast spinning its silver wheels impotently in the sludge, like a harpooned leviathan, a noble creature wounded (even tho it's just a stupid car, in reality)...
this doesn't qualify as a blizzard - for that, i read, winds have to be 35 mph... but this is some white-out! i'm a suburban dweeb, a little wimp who'd never last in the wild. i want out! yes, i have a roof & food & gas for my heaters... but i want bakersfield!!
aaaaahhh!!! it's snowing & blowing even harder now!! it's the end of days, it's crazy-making, it's snowpocalypse! fields said it best, so here.

jenny and the phantoms perform real coolo songs

the chickens down the road are screaming!!! maybe they're pushing out some gigantor eggs... last night @ the mtg, my friend karen & i agreed we want chickens like our friend joy has. hers are pretty & funny & make multi-colored eggs. wow: imagine that!! :) ok, here's some new songs w/lyrics, very crude recordings (por supuesto). also put them on esnips, but since don't have quicktime on this particular laptop, can't embed that here (hence the video, which was sort of fun & irritating to make). (actually, i guess my "video" is really just a slide show, as my niece would pt out, were she here!) here's link to esnips audio of songs, tho there you can't be privy to the brilliant lyrics.
(please laugh.) new songs on esnips

music ate my brain

- at 11 pm tonight, i got the bright idea to record & upload to this site 6 of the 15 or so songs i've written in the past month. a music pal had encouraged me to not worry about quality (always a huge concern of mine)(ha!)(not!), said i can pull the songs when i get better versions. (hah! like i'll do that!)(oh well.) so here it is past 2:30 am... we'll see if i can get the songs posted... anyways, thanks, meine freunde. hope you likee.
- we were watching looney tunes down at candye k's pad in oceanside last wk, me munching taco take-out & candye & laura practicing for their session that next day. laura played the line from "scratch my back" as candye relaxed in her chair w/her apple on her lap & sang w/the guitar a strong, sexy, bluesy take on "sweet nothings," giving some mondo cojones to a fun tune that yet used to embarrass me to sing due to its wimpiness. candye's version will not wimp one bit! what a genius way to give albondigas to a cool but sissy tune: add some slim harpo & let candye sing it! then they went into one candye'd written but they'd never hashed out, "haunted house." candye belted away, laura played. writing it the night before - so beat! so punk rock! (i'm being admiring, not ironic.) (am clarifying that bc no context in text has caused catastrophes in this casa of late.) anyways, they finished, then just like that, PLAYBACK! i jumped off the divan & sputtered, "you're listening to it already? just like that?" they looked at me patiently, dumb peasant that i am. apple has a built-in audio studio program!!! sh*tfire! if i had an apple, i would've been in bed hrs ago!
-arrghh!! &#*$&!)#*%!! audacity is causing problems! i cannot try to upload the songs again (this would be the 3rd pass) or i shall die. yes, there are far more destructive & pathetic reasons to be up all night long on the computer than obsession w/music & writing, but posting these songs'll just have to wait til manana. like sands thru the hour glass, these are the days of our lives...

farewell to meat, hello, my friends, blablabla

just learned that "carnivale" (carne + vale) means "farewell to meat." how timely & comforting, the uncanniness of the etymology & a-ha moment: of course! 40 days of change & increased vigilance w/regards to food, people, & ideas is a wise place to go for sacrifice & continuing discipline. carnivale!
am not ready to go get ashes today, tho... maybe next yr. carnivale, tho, is not just imperative right now, i'm thinking, but a doable task!
it'd've been better, maybe, if i'd spent last night in revelry instead of repentance, but such is life right now & @ least w/each new sunrise & breath, there's chance for renewal. to stop & stand in mistakes, like a pile of stool, would be the only real mistake. (sing along: "go forward... move ahead... try to detect it... it's not too late... to whip it... whip it good!")
san diego county is paradise, the beaches peaceful & less crowded than LA's; friends run deep for me there, ppl whom i admire & aspire to be more like.
the dear mcgraws are the hosts w/the mosts, friendly, fun-loving, generous, tough, & kind. we attended little italy's carnevale & watched brocaded, stilted street performers w/elaborate masks lumber around while mediterraneanesque musicians sang & played & children hopped & twirled & danced & merrymakers gathered at pizza joints & cafes. not just people, but pets, too, walked around dressed like montresor & fortunato or extras in the merchant of venice, & the romantic melodies of each song we heard lingered. bill & i could've driven freddie a little nuts w/our constant happy singing, whistling, & humming except that F&B're too big-hearted to drive nuts; they just love all as-is, always, tho, as i mentioned, pull covers as called for!
got to go to many mtgs. got to hang w/candye & laura in oceanside, watch foghorn leghorn, spend time @ the beach there in meditation & stroll, have a tasty repast @ pannikan coffee & tea near the ocean. got to get a pep-talk from candye, who is generous & caring & strong that way &, as busy as she is, always makes time to bolster others. it occurred to me one night that in january while i was trying to come back to life cooling my heels in new mexico, candye was onstage performing her heart out, telling her own life story onstage! talk about contrast... candye says it's not yet out on DVD, but here's a link to her play, which laura said sold out more & more each night of its run... you know it must be a heck of an inspiring story -- must be quite a well-done production, too, to have generated that kind of buzz! the toughest girl alive

memphis mike, carnivale, friends, life goes on

memphis mike told me today a couple he knows call this "their song." weird & cool bc mike wrote it for me when i was going thru the latest deep depression. it DOES have a really pretty slide guitar, tho, a murky romance, despite its melancholic sound. maybe the female of his friends is also named jenny. hmmm.
- you never know what people will find romantic. for instance, one of the most romantic songs i know is doug kershaw/fats domino's version of "don't mess with my toot-toot." :)
- yesterday was a glorious drive in the south valley w/snow-capped mountains, barren hilltop vineyards stately as calvary, golden light & flutters of birds, signs for sorghum & pine nuts, homely & humble crumbles of former roadside stops, the wide wide flat flat green green valley that is home down in my bones, its mere sight on clear days bringing such deep rest & comfort! today i went rock-hunting & have worked on another circuit of my labyrinth. but it's become another dark time here on the mtn, tho outside is brilliant & beautiful. the law of attraction seems to be in action, but i know, know, know that also can mean great good w/the next persistent breath. the trick & task is to continue no matter what.
- *inhale* *exhale*
- tomorrow i hope to powwow w/manuel re important bidness before joining up w/my dear, dear friends F&B. was gonna see candye, too, but i think that busy gal double-booked: she's playing in vegas! i'd rather be there when she is there, tho her place is so nice, balmy, peaceful... penultimately, looks to be a fantastic mardi gras party in downtown san diego this wkend: little italy carnevale. (last section deleted by me.)