Sunday, March 20, 2011

cabin fever brings lack of fortitude, longing for smoggy bakersfield. snowpocalypse is here!

now i know why melville used white as a metaphor for evil. snow snow snow, everyplace is snow... there's no color! just blank blank blank, wind, fury, flurries that at 1st (10 hrs ago) looked to dance, now just menace, unnerve, bore, blah! friends've said today, "how beautiful it must be!" i grew up in the san joaquin valley. now, no one wants the valley's putrid cow air or particulate smog-death, but we natives're designed for hot! color! the springtime-beautiful, flat, green & golden valley! not this!!!
the power has been out most of the day & night. trees sway, weave, then crack, limbs snapping off under the wt of snow. the neighbor's took out my cable line as i sat staring out the window, stupid w/boredom, but it missed my truck! & also, i have no cable! so far, so good, really! but i wouldn't be surprised if i lose my phone or power lines before this storm's over. & if the power lasts? that'll be amazing! i'm not holding my breath!
i got the report from bksfld tv. 30 cars are stuck down in the middle of this town! this town is the hardest-hit of all storm areas! my neighbor says he's been here 8 yrs & this is the worst storm yet! all i know is, i am anxious & bored. i tell myself, no one's ever died of boredom. be thankful! it IS beautiful. but falling trees, no power, i shudder w/dread!... now, as dusk nears, the juice snaps back on for now. thank you, edison!
i look out & see a gigantic vehicle stuck right below my driveway. right there out the window! i don't want to look. it's embarrassing to all, to see such a sturdy-seeming beast spinning its silver wheels impotently in the sludge, like a harpooned leviathan, a noble creature wounded (even tho it's just a stupid car, in reality)...
this doesn't qualify as a blizzard - for that, i read, winds have to be 35 mph... but this is some white-out! i'm a suburban dweeb, a little wimp who'd never last in the wild. i want out! yes, i have a roof & food & gas for my heaters... but i want bakersfield!!
aaaaahhh!!! it's snowing & blowing even harder now!! it's the end of days, it's crazy-making, it's snowpocalypse! fields said it best, so here.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your songs are cool! Remember too.... you're never really alone... just let your mind reach out to the cosmic thought waves... we're all there! :)

Anonymous said...

the next morning: it's so frigging beautiful here now!!! there must be 2 ft of snow in my yd. the sunrise was stunning!! the sky is calm, blue dreamy. it's warm! the snow glitters in the sunlight.
the awesome beauty of now makes worthwhile the seemingly interminable (at the time) fear & boredom of yesterday... what a glorious day!! :) xoxo to all from j

Anonymous said...

post-storm, day 1, evening: holy mary mother of god, the bako news said we had 48 inches of snow here yesterday!!! i will continue to post until my gratitude that the storm is over has abated. :) :) :) :) :) no storm right now! yay!!! :) :) :)
j
ps - poster #1 - could you put an initial or something next x so i know who you are? i believe i do from your writing style & browser/other identifying info on my tracking site... thank you so much for your continuing kindness, &, if you're who i think you are, i hope your road to recovery has been a continuing one, as has been & continues to be mine. :)

Anonymous said...

It's me.... j

jenny page said...

hi, j! i thought it has been you here & there! yes, a writing style is nearly as individual & identifiable as a thumbprint... i guess cause of all the yrs i've done writing & editing, i think & also do know this to be true.
happy glorious living breathing day to you, j, & to all. :)
ynj (also "j")