texas

sometimes i get that old lonesome thing about being invisible. for yrs in my youth, i thought i was invisible. people didn't seem to see me, & i would hide inside my clothes or just stay away from others. lately i've done TWO races & there hasn't been even ONE pic of me!! then that weird feeling comes up: maybe you're invisible. maybe you don't exist. maybe people don't like you. maybe you're too weird-looking, ugly, deformed, non-white, etc etc etc: the old dysmorphic dysphoric selfish addict mind slides right in, damn that thing!!
so here's sort-of evidence of the last race, which i did in my dear cousin tushi's town, granbury tx, on my 23rd sobriety bd. the bottom right pic shows cousin thomas & me watching the 4th of july parade right after i finished the granbury 5k; i'm in terrible pain in this pic! i've been nursing an iliac crest injury after two crashes onto my hip while with her highness the dog, & i wrenched it terribly having to chase her up the mountain for 15 mins a few wks ago when she ran away... damned princess dog!!!! why do we have to love her so much!!! she can be such a pain in the rear!!!!
i've been reading chi running, which is supposed to reduce injury, & i hadn't been running for a week so i thought i was ok, but at mile 1.5 of the race, i decided to stop & walk a bit because the hip was feeling a little funny & AARGGGGHHHHH!!!! a knife shoved up into it, just excruciating!! so i walked & jogged the rest of the race, which was stupid, i should have stopped. the rest of my trip i mostly spent on the heating pad bc i scarcely could walk... but it was a good time. my cousin & i are so different, but so connected: i'm a week older than her bc i was premature, so she says that was bc "you always have to come first; you've always been such an inpatient b*tch!!" she historically has thought my every interest & utterance to be totally lacking in common sense & also super-weird; meanwhile, i have watched her love of the dukes of hazzard, kiss, dog the bounty hunter, hulk hogan, "smut" romance novels etc w/disgusted amusement.
typical exchange: me, seeing these pix: "wow! my hair's gotten really gray!" tushi (outraged tone): "what was your first clue??? you know they make this thing called hair dye! unless you prefer looking like a little old lady!!"
deep down, we are so proud of each other. tushi is ridiculously extravagant in some ways, & so funny, & has such a big heart, & is both totally impractical & very down-to-earth. she takes great pride in her grooming, wardrobe, & accessories & never apologizes for being her, which is startling, wonderful, & refreshing to an inborn neurotic like me. my cousin has been overweight since she was 5, & she's proudly big, saying she shops at the "heifer store" & to haters, "i'm fat but you're ugly, & i can lose weight"... one of the worst traits of any person, i think, is disdain toward others for their lack of money, their dark skin color, or their nationality/extra bodyweight; i really hate haters, which i know is hypocritical, but i don't care, & i just love the sh*t out of my cousin tushi. :)
her son, my cousin thomas, is a big, wise soul who's been through 2 rounds of brain cancer. he had the same cancer as chubby from our gang, but thomas is in remission now. he has wanted to be a mermaid since a young age & always has marched to his own drummer. i was really pleased to get to spend time with him, creative, imaginative, chatty, bumbling, & kind. thomas has lots of dreams & ideas. we went out into the pasture one day so he could show me his horse, general, as well as all the goats, to visit rosie the donkey, & to show me the trees he has named. we watched his favorite movie, the greatest showman, for which he says he needs "a recovery program."
tushi, thomas, & i watched the parade w/the rest of the family, ate hot dogs & hamburgers, watched tv, laid around and talked, went to san antonio, where we walked around the riverwalk & stayed at a hotel w/a view of san fernando mission as well as a "bachelor pad" for thomas, & ate at crazy, beautiful mi tierra. next day, tushi took thomas to the alamo & i bought records from alamo records inside an antique mall: albert ammons, women of boogie-woogie, & a jimmy yancey 45. we went to babe's fried chicken house, my favorite place to eat when i visit tx now, & i found a "jim yancey" piano book on the granbury square. most all texas towns have a square, & we agreed while driving around that granbury's lovely touristy one makes most all others look like crap. thomas & i went antiquing one day & i got him two independence day-themed beanie babie to commemorate my visit.
then getting home turned into an unexpected but not-terrible (although very long) adventure, & next evening james & i had a gig in long beach, but i'll write about that all later maybe. time to resume cleaning house.

tues july 10

pete johnson playlist!!!!

exhausted from busy day, i found this just last night while lounging on the couch with penny. i had been about to drift off to sleep, but this SHOCKED ME AWAKE!!!!
probably the channel owner has some kind of program that allows midi to play automatically the transcriptions.. this is a GOLD MINE!!!!
not only can you listen to the music, you can follow along with the transcription as each measure is highlighted in real-time... then there are the magic dots at top of screen showing the keys, sort of player piano style...
so now i'm in a teacher conference in central california with my two dear teacher friends & the session in this section is about blogger. she just asked us to write something on blogger. this is so we can have kids create websites, individually, in groups, as a class, at end of unit, as cyber portfolio, to monitor writing progress, etc etc etc.... so many possibilities!
however, right now, corey says, we can't access blogger at school; she's already contacted our IT, of course, since she's so on-the-spot about everything. so is christy. i am a comparative dunce, but oh well.
having this current assignment in this class is perfect timing! i wanted to post this anyways!! pete johnson playlist

now i will send the link to corey and to christy. hello, you two!!!!

papa

angie and i really did win the parent lottery.
my earliest memories are of dad's giant face smiling lovingly at me like the sun. guiding my little left hand and drawing, over and over and over, a smiley face. his hand covering my entire back as he held my wobbling baby body up for a photo (i was 3 months old; mom & dad identified the source of this  memory when i told them of it). toddling around our old oregon street house in my diaper, his oily garage cap and his giant work boots  (dad always was a public school teacher, but his avocation remains self-taught renaissance man of the practical: handyman of all things house-related, loving gardener, mechanic, historical writer.) listening to stories he and mama read us every night. laughing our butts off at the adventures of dad's cartoon creation, star rat, a whiskered rodent chomping a cigar.

beyond all that, dad always has demonstrated great dignity, fairness, love of humanity, kindness, well-placed irreverence, humor, and CLASS -- not classism.
gilbert gia always has been a handsome, humble, faithful, principled, gentle gentleman of patience and loyalty, a firm believer in social justice and humans (though with deserved outrage toward those who want more than their share of the pie, or deny others theirs). i could write forever and ever about him and our mother; they have long been my heroes... and james loves them now, so much, too. they have accepted him as their son. they always demonstrate this crucial idea: there is enough love to go around.

happy father's day, dad...

hate

hate is a strong emotion, "an evil and corrosive thread," it says in the big book. my mind at times reverts to hate-thoughts;  i used to wallow quite a lot in them, nearly all the time, in fact. james says, "hating someone requires too much energy." if anyone has reason to hate people, he would. he's been wronged, wronged, wronged (as well as done his wronging; hey! maybe that's all of us who have survived?)...

desert ruin

i should have no complaints because my life has been blessed, blessed, blessed (though w/the expected periods of "into each life some rain must fall")... however, the infernal coconut sometimes is unrealistic & uncooperative. so i write.
part of this current wade in the cesspool of negativity is this is the first time i've sat down w/nothing on my plate in a year!!!! "our very lives, as ex problem drinkers, depend on our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." so i'm not helping students now for a full week, school is out, & i slide into dwelling on Them: the Unworthy. The Mean. The Petty. The Arrogant. The Imposters. The Fakes. The Liars. The Hypocrites. The Untalented. The Undeserving. The Phonies. The Deluded. etc etc; i judge them by 1000 names.
stupid brain!!!!

he says he wasn't asleep...

...however this same mind that burns w/thoughts of others being smote from the earth also delivers  joy, comfort, love, connection, warmth, etc etc. so the infernal coconut maybe is... just a coconut, even if one of addictive bent. thoughts need discipline, & therein they can be turned to helping others & connecting to the Bliss that can be existence.
i know this is a struggle, but i also know it's worthy.
and so it goes... and so it goes... and so it goes... etc.

james & the biggest cream puff we've ever seen

on the heels of the busiest last week of school in memory, i headed out to the desert w/james & penny dog for three days of lounging, soaking in mineral springs, eating, watching tv, reading... three days of vegging. it was really cool, & really weird. i rest well for a while, but only for a while! then i gotta do something. so in between, i walked penny, but it was too infernally hot to run (except one morning, a great 3-miler, w/desert breeze air conditioning my sail downhill for nearly a mile after a long, hot climb)... now we're in bako in the comfort of mom & dad's beautiful, comfortable oasis (they have headed for central coast); last night was movies w/wonderful bro-in-law & sis; last eve was dinner w/high school buddy & her friendly englishman husband; summer stretches ahead,d; i've got so many fun plans ahead; yes, a great life ahead...
time to get back to life.

5th place

i just wrote a whole entry about this race, then accidentally deleted it.
oh well!
it was at griffith park, which is the gigantic beautiful park in los angeles, of course. the event was truly fun. very difficult  & steep for the 1st two miles, a blast & a thrill after that.
i am not fast at all, but i came in 5th in my age group out of hundreds. the runners were all kinds, from amazing physical specimens, seeming spartans & olympians, to largish,  soft-ish folks in lycra. i did note that i was noticeably older than the majority of people around me...
i am pleased, both with having participated & with my results!
hope to do something like it again soon.
that is all.
except this is the last wk of school.
wheeee!

here is james from the night before, & he said he felt rotten & depressed
that night, but just look at that movie star smile. his pose here is a little like the
frankenstein cartoon pic i drew of him years ago.he is the most complicated man
i've ever met as well as the most multi-talented.  (photo by krystal kozak) 

morons thank combat vets by playing weekend warrior rambo right behind veteran's homes

     it's been a good weekend, with one more day to go (memorial day tomorrow). the only blight has been the ***holes who shoot behind the house. james said not to call the cops. if *#&%^!!s continue, they may meet stealth tactics of ppl who know how to disarm them w/o hurting them. that person would not be me, btw, since i've only been known to disarm with my grin, and that's growing a bit long in the tooth, so who knows if it still bears that power...
    yesterday we played a weird but just-fine gig at the kern county fairgrounds for a very large veteran's bike club. i got to debut my new 25 lb yamaha baby (i mean tool). i think i did fine except that i got tired bc i've not been playing for more than 1 hour at a time, & then that's when i'm sitting at home relaxing, not standing atop 4-inch frankenstein shoes (new ones). blake said it was fun to play together, & he's usually the one telling me to watch it with the left hand (tho he says so very nicely) (you know those bass players...)

     we couldn't see well after sunset bc there were only james's brought-from-home spotlights shining from front bottom of the huge stage. in between, anthony djed the most bitchin playlist of awesome music. that made the night spin for me. i could just stand there during all breaks just listening to & moving to that awesome music, just twirling in my head w/happiness & thrill... then we'd get melodic ideas, usually from the coolest horn lines,  then hit the next set & actually knock a few out...
     we had a lovely weekend w/mom & dad & with each other. i went shopping w/dad in oildale & got a bunch of thrift & art treasures for our home, even some christmas gifts (starting early this year, i hope). i took penny for a longish run in the cool evening fields & she only was a bad dog when it was time to go & she bolted in the the opposite direction & i had to catch her. on our way home, james purchased her a dog bed & snugged it between our car seats & penny nestled right in & went to sleep.
     there goes rambo again. if i had the ability (which i don't, but james does) i'd like to ambush that turd & steal his weapons. then pants him & call the cops so he'd be arrested for indecent exposure. d***head.
     shooting near people's homes w/no thought of Those Who Really Have Served: what a way to thank combat vets!!!! not to mention the moron is shooting in dry national forest!!!! i wish i had a smote button...
    just made this flyer. now going to head out into the cool eve to see what is what. to every weekend-warrior rambo i say YOU SUCK!!!!! that wasn't eloquent, but who cares!!!!

grace

lately hasn't been good for me regarding running. two weeks ago, penny & i were attacked by a 100-lb dog when we nearly were home from a 4 miler. it was night time. it was terrifying!! the big dog just gummed & frightened penny, but i kept getting thrown in the air as the dogs swarmed around my feet, tangling the leash. no, i would not let the leash go, as friends suggested: no way was i gonna lose penny, or let her get chased to her death!! i'd rather be the one that was hurt!!
the attack seemed to go on forever, with the big dumb menace running away for a moment, then running back, snarling, spitting, growling, chewing, paying me absolutely no heed no matter what i did. the woman who owned the dog finally came running out, probably hearing my yells for help (i thought she was going to have a heart attack, huffing up the hill & gulping that she has asthma!) & then a man came out, herding the beast away. i scooped 45 lb penny up & carried her up the hill as far as i could, finally getting her home & washing her all off. when i saw she had no broken skin, i started blubbering. the whole thing had made me feel so helpless, flashing back to the Cat That Was Devoured By a Coyote As I Watched. but penny was ok.
then i saw that i wasn't. crap!!!! but the bites weren't deep. i've had much worse.
no, i didn't go to the doc, & no, i don't seem to have infection or rabies.
turns out the dog was one that had been taken in by one of my student's grandmas. the dog went to the pound the very next day & i received flowers at school with a card reading "we're very sorry for what happened to you."  james was irate, but i was just relieved we hadn't been hurt worse!
i was just getting over my soreness from bruises & bites, so decided to take a little jaunt with penny near our home. all was going well when, nearly home, dammit, i hit a rock & didn't fly, but jack-knifed  straight into the dirt, badly hitting my palm, my knee smacking right against a rock. crap again!!!! this fall hurt a lot worse than the one i took at the tejon ranch 5k. more bruises, more broken skin. right now, my legs are more beat-up looking than since i moved to frazier park.
today penny & i went the steep route cause i figured then i wouldn't be tempted to run & fall again. the steep route goes up west end drive a block from our house, topping at above 5800 ft, so it's an 800+ ascent in a little over a mile. near the top, my huffing & puffing were broken by the lovely sight of purple lupines & delicate yellow purse-like flowers, small & delicate, & blooming pink thistle & a flowering yucca, i think it was. (this site is cool, but gave me very little help in finding the yellow flowers: u.s. wildflower database )
we got to the tree which tops the path, my heart hammering, then turned for the quick descent. it was pretty steep, so i dropped the leash & penny went sailing off, but unlike when we take our traditional route, she was a good girl & kept stopping to look back at me, waiting for me, & she didn't go running off so that i would have to chase her down.
we made it all the way home without me getting injured.
life is good. :)

poor marlo!!

yes, my heart was broken, but that's how it goes in this marriage at times, with the storms of emotion & mood so volatile on one end, & me being something of a fatalist when times are tough. but things is better now. i shoulda known.
great news is i'm getting a new keyboard!! as we speak it's in kingman being shipped this way. i think i agree now with chuck berry, who considered instruments mere "tools." i was hung up on keeping my korg/s, since they were each family gifts, sentimental, then i talked to mama & she said, "oh, jenny, just get a new one!!" my new one will weigh HALF what the korgs weighed. i can't wait!!
i've sprung to life wanting to play piano again, knowing the new baby (oops, i mean tool) is coming. i recorded this before i started practicing a lot again, so it's a little rough, but i felt like making a video. when i used to pine away for james, i would make videos & he would watch them, back when we were living in different worlds of different weirdnesses & unhappinesses & joys.
i just noticed it's sideways, but that's appropriate, so who cares. :)
ok, he just got up, so i'm gonna go.
yaaaaaaayyyy!! music!!

my heart is broken.

i came in & listened to nina simone for a while & cried into the cat. (he purred, being oblivious.)
i think now i'll go outside for a while & work on my "watts tower" house, as angie has called it.
life goes on.
at least for now.

so very excited, so very sleepy...

it's troubling, but a truly golden problem-state!
for the past over-yr i've been searching & holding out for beautiful security screen doors, decorative ones resembling wrought iron work like that surrounding the porch, one big reason i bought this house (it reminded me of new orleans) but no dice. the ones i like are, of course, quite expensive. however, i found two that look decent i might buy in bakersfield tomorrow, then i can add to it by welding wrought iron to the existing screens, as my friend karen recommended (she is craft & project queen, wonderfully inventive, & works at the hardware store here, so she knows how every tool, nut & bolt can be best-used...). i'm also going to pick up a used wrought-iron gate i found on craigslist, quite pretty, during the visit to mom & dad...
james went to his gig & since is still have no working keyboard, i stayed back (have my eye on a yamaha p-45, weight only 25 lbs!!!)... have been piddling around the house, cleaning, playing piano, reading, wasting time bc i'm supposed to be grading papers (that's always when i get most creative finding other tasks to do)... doggy & i also took a long afternoon nap & woke to sun setting on mountains outside; so glorious, so peaceful... am still obsessed w/new orleans, new orleans gnawing at my brain, insistent, haunting, also thinking of lafayette & baton rouge, but mostly i've re-adjusted to the quiet mountain life, its beauty, its lovely clean air, so now i just wish we could just live in both somehow. maybe it can happen.
surfing the net for how to dress up an ugly chain link fence (we have one 3 lots long), i came across this: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/52354414389263420/?lp=true ... then this: https://www.improvisedlife.com/2009/10/20/d-i-y-lace-chain-link-fence/ .... then this, https://www.curbly.com/10347-6-decorated-chain-link-fences?search_id=13501094, which, like all of these, is pretty chichi & white-privileged (the "shabby chic" & -- gag  -- "junkue" movements), but they also promote resourcefulness, so i'll bite.
the ideas! OMG!!!!! i stay away from pinterest & the like, too, usually bc they cause me to go on overload & hyperventilate & get overly-excited, so have to be careful. my solution is to post the sites here & purge my brain of fomenting obsession so i can go to sleep.
the second james walked out the door, i started clearing the house of extra stuff we don't use; we're hoping to go sell at a swap meet on an upcoming weekend, & doesn't that sound swell?!?! which led again to thinking about the ugly fence quandry, & i realized... all the pieces of metal, aluminum, wood frames i piled on our eastern slope to take to the dump... i can make fence art from those.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!
nothing's much more fun than the immersive experience of turning junk into art.
now it's time to ramp it down & rest. to quote james by way of kinky friedman, may the god of your choice bless you.

extra large versus medium-sized

james looking extra-cinematic at his bd show in seal beach

our dear bro-in-law has been in hospital, so please send kindnesses to doug, who is a ball-of-fiery life like my hubby, & who also does not always care most dutifully for his body-temple... (i guess who does?)
when you're extra-large sick, nothing can register due to the sick-suffering. i was that the other day, in the bed just a sore, writhing lump. now i'm merely medium-sized sick, which means i want to read my book & do productive stuff, but my mind won't allow it bc it's still tossing & turning some, dog-paddling instead of drowning in sick.
yesterday james took me on a country drive in air force one & what a nice time that was. i love soaring out 138 east toward the high desert there, a wide & clean valley beneath huge blue skies, popping with color right now. he of unquenchable stomach was hungry, so we stopped in at the neenach cafe, which has turned half-hipster, meaning the decor & staff look big-city hipsters move to the sticks, but the food is laughably gross. at the poppy preserve, there were no poppies, so we parked across the road & hiked to the top (me extremely slowly), joining scores of others on a wide hillside to view the popping poppies, which didn't know they were supposed to blossom at the state park.
last wkend we went to happy wedding of girl (young woman) i've known since she was 3 months old, child of one of my dearest friends. james was moved by & loved the family closeness, the cheerful cumbia & norteno tunes of the band, & stepped in to play & shout a louis jordan song, to delight of large crowd. the song sounded extra-great w/accordion, esp after our recent return from the gumbo music scene of new orleans, & my friend's ex-husband, band leader ruben, warmed up to james. i realized he's been afraid of james all this time since he's only known OF james from his past reputation as a head-buster so was grateful to see ruben glimpse the real james, the guy his best friend, dear departed manuel, appreciated & loved. sweet for me, too, was getting to sit w/the beautiful, friendly wife of someone i used to treat like sh*t, then make amends of sort to the fellow... that &, of course, getting to take a trip w/dear hubby & girl dog to someplace nice, & then next day hang out w/dear donna & her children & grub mexican food at a place we've been visiting for near-30 yrs, waited on by same tall, black-haired, mustachioed man who still calls us "mija"... life's never exactly what i would want were i in Complete Control, but it's pretty danged good, despite. yes, it's quite a bless-ed life i get to have.

mid-city lanes rock'n'bowl watching nathan & zydeco cha-chas

mighty-lunged young brass band on frenchman, new orleans

this morn i got up so, so late, still sick, you know, & toasted a left-over sour-milk pancake & had it with bananas, powdered sugar, some molasses, & community coffee straight from mardi gras world in new orleans, la, eating & reading the most urgently fine book i've read since "moaning at midnight," but this itchy thing from being ill makes me restless & unable to get back regularly to reading, so now i blablablog. the book, "nine lives," was at the louis armstrong airport on our way back to california, so i requested it from the library, & whatta whatta read!! it's so good, it's nearly too much. here's the link, & i urge & plead with you to read it. Nine Lives by Dan Baum

effigy on bourbon st of hero of the lower 9th ward & the world

haunted... and full

-i woke up this morn haunted after getting home from new orleans last night.  i've gotten to go on many, many trips --- so lucky in that & many other ways -- but've never experienced THIS, the feeling i should still be there or left part of me there. went to new orleans once before & didn't leave with that sense... james, sometimes such the pragmatist, said simply, "oh, you got jetlag."
-so for now i'll just write about what i ate bc too much more would overwhelm me again, & i'm sitting here in bakersfield (angie & mama picked me up so i could be here w the family while james is down south tomorrow, i hope w/his!), sitting here at mama's computer NOT feeling haunted, so wanna not go there...
1. at LAX, shake shack burger & black & white shake (gave james half the burger, which was delicious)
2. on plane, the "tapas" box, which was filled w/stuff like almonds & hummus & a fig bar...
3. once in new orleans, we ate at praline connection on frenchman st (more live music -- most of it pretty good! -- in one place than we've ever seen, including at sxsw!) & i had file gumbo, little slices of gator sausage on bed of lettuce (which we shared), buttered bread, & a real rootbeer (not diet!)
4. next morn i ate plane leftovers (little crispy cookies) while waiting for james to wake up
5. at nearby who dat coffee house, a cup of grits w/cheese & a buttered biscuit w/jam... & coffee
6.  beignet with powdered sugar at cafe beignet in french quarter
7. apple, some jambalaya, some fancy salad from matassa's market (owned by cosimo matassa's sons!)
8. a snickers ice cream bar (i went to get james some medicine & stopped off at dollar tree)
9. late-night grub ordered in from verti marte on suggestion of house mom marlene: broccoli w/fettucini alfredo
10. then next day 2 buttermilk donut drops from mardi gras zone, now my favorite place in the world... and community coffee, the  best on earth
11.  then i don't remember... it rained like hell that day... braved the buckets to get pix of rampart & dumaine (from prof longhair's song "go to the mardi gras," of course) as well as cosimo matassa plaque
11. oh yeah; another beignet & coffee from cafe du monde, then two bites of gator on a stick before i gave it to james
12. we tried to go to elizabeth's in the bywater, but it was closing, so we went to liuzza's on the track & i had a cup of gumbo & garlic bread w/butter
13. that night after seeing nathan & the zydeco cha-chas at rock 'n' bowl, we went to camellia grill (disappointing this time w/o the burly cadre of loud-talking, loud-joking handsome waitstaff) & i had red beans & rice & white toast w/butter (shared w/james) (haunted to see a waiter from last time on a large poster w/many other waiters reading "rest in peace"... what happened to them all??? i was last there in 2009, which was after katrina... what happened?!?! how could so many of them have passed away in the last 8.5 years???)
14. next morn, two more buttermilk donut drops & coffee from mardi gras zone
15. we visited fats domino's house in the lower ninth ward, set to be a museum, & cried & rampaged  together due to the reality of this place called new orleans (in addition to all the wonderful, it's segregated, gentrified, & home to the horrific & horrifically-handled tragedy, hurricane katrina). then we had lunch at joey k's on magazine street, which reminded me unpleasantly of west LA (specially after where we'd just been, felt like spitting on the affluent-looking white tourists & garden district rich people), but we enjoyed our last hurrah meal: shared appetizer of breaded fried eggplant smothered w/creole white sauce & topped w/shrimp & my dish, appetizer portion of shrimp remoulade salad
17. on plane home, hummus w/crackers
this morn... prunes.
i could write a whole lot more, but don't think i will. yet rereading this, i see i was unable to keep the haunted feelings from creeping into this post. that is as it should be.
next time we go, which i hope will be soon, there will be so much more to see... hope i will reconcile my feelings about stirring, romantic, devastated, & indelible ville de nouvelle-orleans before then. i've only been there one other time, but palpably so much had changed since before: geographically, it was less ruined, the piles of hurricane debris & destroyed houses long-gone, but where were all the locals this time, the ones male or female who called you "baby" in that heart-breaking drawl? where were the people mingling freely, irrespective of age or race?
"a person would have to have no heart to see this & not feel something." - james

gettin close

we are going to NOLA in just a few days... wow!!!!

it's sat morn & the torrential rains have stopped, sun shining brightly, happily, cat rolling fatly in his window seat, james excitedly yapping as he watches cab calloway video & spouts stories about hanging out/being cab's assistant many years ago... heading to yoga, gonna walk, hoping hip/leg pain will abate... vacation has started & yesterday was wild & happy as the kids made hot cross buns, each going home w/little buns to bake.. james yelling with laughter, "look at his face, honey!" he's just tickled watching his idol on video, "that's how he looked
when i met him, honey!" (looks like a  handsome version of grandpa ralph, brown face, silver slicked back hair, bagged eyes, wide mouth, thin moustache)..."sh*t!" james mutters (he really despises critics, he says, which is funny to me bc he knows i've written critically, but he likes what i've written...)
james was in bakoland yesterday w/mom & dad & brought home from gail & bruce a 4 1/2 octave keyboard/synthesizer & some amps & it was so nice of them to give him those, but i still gotta figure out how to repair BOTH my full keyboards... last wk was james's happy 52nd bd wkend, w/beautiful lunch w/sister sherri & james jr & sunday bd in bakersfield, then at last wk's birthday gig down south  for james, the place was PACKED, just packed, people spilling out the doors, happy, drinking, dancing, crazy, & we thought my keyboard & amp had survived the roll-over crash in which the green hornet went to the great autoyard in the sky, but no, they did not. after just two songs, they died, & no combination of changing plugs, cords, inputs would revive them. so i watched the rest of the show from the back corner behind lambert & we went home & there were no fights, no arrests, no one got hurt, it was a good time even w/my disappointment of broken gear...
i'll worry about these repairs upon our return from NOLA.
NOLA!
i've only gone once, & this time will be so much better, happier, funner, wholesomer [sic]...
i'm going to NOLA with james!
here are some pix from krystal, who is quite a photographer...

whiteboy james's birthday this saturday, march 17

yes, he was born on st paddy's day. so appropriate!
this past week really stank!! -- but now it's over & we have both vehicles back & i am no longer ill & james is in line to make all needed phone calls tomorrow... the best thing about this past week is i was selected as teacher of the month by our swell new principal & i got closer w/my wonderful school friends, who shuffled me around while i was wheel-less. yesterday we went & got the white shadow from bakersfield, where dad had lovingly had it repaired. james & i had very tasty meal at a japanese restaurant with dear sweet mama, then he sawed logs at the gias' while i attended to procuring provisions from the local big lots store...
i know; this post is boring; what can i say? i just ate a quesadilla & feel mildly queasy... and to continue the unremarkable news, i need to see if my amp still works after it was bounced all over I-5 in james's car accident... and if i can get my stand to stand or if i will need to get another before saturday. oh; and do school work: there's always that.
in other news, two weeks to vacation, & we got a pet-sitter to care for her highness the dog & his highness the gato while we're gone.
that's a big yippee!!
here's the flyer for saturday. james likes candy, magic tricks, cheesy tortilla chips, chicken (to eat, not raise), marvel comic books, kool cigarettes, and lots of cash money. thank you for your attention!

can't move.

...more accurately, won't.
two trips in two days to bakoland & back. not much running of late because of extreme cold. (last night, penny & i made it out for 1 mile; it was 19 degrees! one miles was all we could do! it hurt to breathe!) beautiful now; i could be pounding the hills w/puppy. instead...
inertia has set in. torpor. doldrums. sloth. laziness. faineance. lifelessness. i feel like such a bum!!!
got dressed, tho. got hiking boots on. made food for james. watched w/him an old foreman fight. made flyer. wrote scores of of thank you cards that are months late. going to assemble new vacuum. going to... going to... ah, think i'll take a nap. here are flyers.

boswell made this one.

i made this one.

whatta week!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!

dear "uncle" danny, who loved aunty rita; dear, wonderful
dad; dear brother doug; & darling, precious
handsome james  in 2014 at the old family
house, which doug & angie now live in.

- first we had dear aunty rita's funeral at the national cemetery. she will be buried right next to uncle henry, with "uncle" danny across the way so we can go visit them all in one trip. i held cousin tushi's phone & keys & made sure she didn't collapse; then i turned away for a minute & she tripped & almost fell off the curb! fortunately one of her male friends was there to catch her bc tushi didn't fall far from the aunty rita tree: there's ALWAYS a man around wanting to help her out. :) after that, about 75 people gathered at mom & dad's & we all ate like hogs & told roaring scandalous aunty rita stories & i asked trusted family if i should buy a used car i had my eye on. the kid who owned it sounded like my older stepson, which reassured me: his was a friendly, exuberant young voice. i read the description of the car aloud & uncle ralphy chuckled, "sounds like a new vehicle!" everything on it had been replaced.
-so after everyone had left, i went to bakersfield credit union, got cash. then back home, james took me out to a beautiful ranch in lockwood valley & i returned home w/"new" car. i'd seen it once before, but this time, the friendly old kiwi guy selling it for his son seemed nervous: he wasn't sure about the smog & now the car was starting roughly. the car also had no compass, no inside-outside temp, smaller windows, all disappointing to me. how had i not noticed all this when i'd seen the car earlier in the week? had i made a mistake?
- there was too much to do: after buying car, i was gonna go to LAX, stay w/cousin tushi before she left back to TX, get up & do griffith park run, then go sub for blake at gig in pomona. started driving to LAX. at the 5/14 split, the car temp spiked: the car blew up, fluid spraying the windshield!! i pulled it over to the roadside, called insurance, called kid, called cousin, called james, waited, more calls, tow truck: long story short, after 4 hrs i was home again, shaken, but w/cash back in hand. whatta night!!!

- the kid said he'd pay for the tow. state farm's towing company charged me. confusion or fraud? i disputed it. the credit union cancelled my credit card for my financial safety. crap!! i, ms frugal, keep only one credit card so that i don't spend excessively. now i have NO credit card. credit union is in bakersfield. have to go to bakersfield to get another one. aaaaahh!! good thing i hid away all the dead-new-car cash or our week would've been even worse!

- went to work. heat out in my room. power out. computer running off battery, cumbersome, can't enter grades or really plan, can't think, room freezing, kids off-task, crazy.... because they're so cold!!! poor babies!!

- the district doesn't fix the power & heat til after school friday. miserable at school all week!! my car not running right. could be something small, could be the death of my dear little forester. have to hitch rides w/james, w/corey every day. aaaaah!!! what next?!?

- we try to cancel valentine's day counseling appt. counselor says it's too late, we'd have to pay no-show fee. sh*t!! i'd rather die than pay a no-show fee!

- we go. i go to get $100 to pay. it's not there. I LOST 100 BUCKS!! then the session goes from bad to worse to horrible. not good, not good at all!! the evening is ruined. valentine's day is ruined!! james takes off. sh*t!!! i can do nothing, so i go to bed.
-phone rings at close to 1 a.m. james got in a car accident! omg!!

- fortunately it occurred not far from here. he had decided to go stay with bro-in-law doug bc he was sad that we had had an argument. this was really good thinking from james! however, soon after he entered the freeway at frazier mountain pk rd, a car came from behind at high-speed & smashed into him!! the truck flipped on its side, then roof; james saved his own life instinctively, swiftly squeezing his body under the dash & away from the windshield. he said it all happened in slow-mo: he could see his harmonicas, his tape recorder, all his stuff floating around the cab like the wizard of oz. boom! he hit, then slid, his shoulder and ear on fire, burning, grinding against the pavement. i lost my ear!, he told me he thought. the truck flipped onto its roof, then another car broadsided it, up-righting it. james was ejected!! 

- i got there & ran to the ambulance. he wanted me to take him to the hospital rather than go by ambulance. where's the truck? i asked. figures in uniforms pointed: i'd walked right past it. the whole bed cover had sheared off; the truck was puny, lifeless; the green hornet was dead.... but james was alive!! that was what was important!!

- bystanders & law enforcement had retrieved james's music equipment, which had exploded all over the road. the bed cover lay on its back like an upended turtle, wobbling, filled w/broken gear. i backed up my car & loaded the amps, the monitor, whatever was there. james hobbled painfully to the car.

- then he didn't want to go to the hospital! i sat up all night watching him. he had a bump on his head; that's what i most was worried about. however, he's had so many injuries to the head, from boxing & fighting & various mishaps, that i believed him when he said he thought it would be ok. still, i couldn't sleep. the biggest problem for him was his shoulder: he had full mobility, so i knew it wasn't broken, but still!! it obviously hurt like hell!!

- i snapped awake at 7:30. omg: i dozed off!! school!! i called lucy & she said don't worry about school. just take care of james. i cooked food & tried to keep him comfortable as possible. he was in a lot of pain from the trauma of the accident, but still didn't want to go to the hospital or urgent care.
- four days later, i write this as he is gone to a gig. what a mutant!!
- i joked with some family members that aunty rita's mutant spirit must've gone into james, strengthening his own already-considerable mutant spirit. "james," cautioned dad, "you're going to have to start being more careful. i don't think you have too many lives left!" three times clinically dead; near-death beating, months in hospital; exploded stomach in 2015 we all were told he probably wouldn't survive; now this? "yeah, buddy, you probably only have 1 or 2 left! better slow down!" said doug...
-the family showed up yesterday in a gigantic black escalade. (how does doug do it? he always has some posh twist to add to the adventure.) we all ate at the ranch house &, since the towing company was closed, we couldn't visit the green hornet, so we stopped at the crash site & went foraging for any of james's items that might've been left behind. the center divider of i-5 bore a giant splotch; i realized that was from one of the other vehicles in the crash, so i backtracked along the highway & there they were!: one PA stand & james's beloved mike stand, hand-crafted by his buddy stanley! we also found some of his mind-reading cards, his magic wand, an unopened can of pinto beans (he always carries canned food, like a survivalist or more accurately, the soldier he was for many years), a plastic jack-o-lantern, one of his dress shoes... and of course, of all the items to be found, the one james found was an unopened bottle of vodka. i'd seen it the night of the crash & thought, good lord! thank you that the bottle is unopened! james had been sober! (who knows about the other driver?) but i'd left the bottle there... so of COURSE james then found it!
- "you can't ever drink that one, buddy," said doug. "you gotta keep that one for posterity!" the family mused that james should make a shadow box art piece from the items that survived the crash; dad said james should put military epaulets on the shoulder of the zoot suit jacket, which had been melted away during the accident. doug took pix of james smiling at the crash site, holding up the items that had made it through... most importantly, james!
- the additional good news for me is that after retrieving my flattened keyboard stand & broken amp, i plugged in my keyboard & IT STILL WORKS!!!! it had been in the back seat of the truck, which probably protected it... as for the rest of the equipment, i'm hopeful that insurance will help us get some of it back... and maybe a vehicle to replace the green hornet. it seems reasonable to hope that since the other driver was at fault, something positive could happen there to help my husband... we will see.

- my god!! what a week!! so many kind people, from the ones who gave me back my $ after the "new" car blew up, to corey who kept giving me rides, to christy, to my dear little students, who gave me a beautiful card of concern ("we are really sorry 4 everything that has been happening to you") to mom, dad, angie, & doug, our loving support always; to, again, doug, who just ferried james to his gig last-second when his other ride didn't show up on time. and all the kids who hugged me when i came back to school friday! they tell me they love me & i tell them i love them! (that's a new one at school!) and the parents & staff who showed concern! and the griffith park run people, who moved my registration to a run in june so that i wouldn't be out 40 bucks & the experience of a neat running event! and all the people who said they'd help james get to his gig! we are so very bless-ed.
- the 100 bucks is still missing, but through this all, must say that life is good!

san diego

-i made this collage using an online free program, & i've already forgotten the name... drat!
-we had a swell time in the gaslamp district of san diego. i was sent there for a teacher conference to learn more about how to use data to help the kids. my friend corey was the brains of the place; she truly is brilliant! i knew she'd become bilingual while living w/a mexican family in her youth; then i learned she got a full-ride to ucsb... at age 15! while i strained to understand a session about RTI/MTSS (acronyms for academic & behavioral intervention), she sat there cross-legged like a little kid, listening  while at the same time completing on her laptop a 32-page school plan that had been dropped on her last-second when our principal retired last week, then raising her hand to ask questions. she was following everything! i felt like i should be wearing a dunce cap, but also admiring. it used to bother me that i was salieri to mozart, but now i really enjoy & treasure meeting & recognize greatness in certain rare people, then doing whatever i can to help them shine brighter!!
-most brainiacs i have known (or those who have thought they were) were so taken with themselves or so crazy, it wasn't worth learning their ideas; they just have generally not been people who in end i want to be around. (exception: my ex-husband, a good man with head filled w/numbers -- however, he has disconnected from the family, & so be it. must respect his wishes!) corey's different: she's so damned smart, but also as ribaldly funny as was aunty rita  -- but kind and honest and practical. yes, what a terrific combination of gifts this young woman has. she could change the world for the good, if she wanted to venture beyond our school! -- tho i know, as teachers, each of us right now where we stand are impacting & changing lives.
- teaching is noble. we carry a precious duty. i'm honored to be a part, & to be inspired by great people like corey.
-james & i had a lot of fun in the little time we had when i was done w/the intensive seminars. i came back one day & he was overjoyed, having had a great time tripping around town to a magic store, a museum, a haberdashery, meeting & talking with people as he so loves to do, experiencing this & that... that morn at the conference, we teachers had had great chewy bagels & tasty yogurt granola parfaits, then james met us for burgers at an outside stand on the marina adjacent to the convention center; we ate w/our math teacher friend & corey & her beautiful little family. that eve, james & i had a lovely spontaneous dinner at sultan's baklava, exotic soup to nuts for us, serving turkish cuisine spiced with dill, mint, & other clean & fragrant flavors, with striking atmosphere & people-watching opportunities. the next day in escondido, we found a delicious german-italian (yes!) deli. we shopped in the little downtown, getting old postcards & new steel-toed docs at a big discount. (incredible how many really cool size 12 shoes we've found for him at bargain prices!) the pix above are taken on the roof of the hotel after we'd hit the ramada st james's exercise room; we both initially liked the view, then got spooked & had to beat it down to lower levels. (he & i both don't like heights nor the ocean, tho we both love shows about deep sea life...) the motel, the oldest in SD, had been a place where wyatt earp dealt cards as well as featured an elevator that in 1912 was the fastest in the west; now it was a rather terrifying rickety thing, so i walked lots & lots of stairs over the course of our stay. the st james had nice touches, like chilled mint & lime water in the lobby & gourmet coffees & a comfy, comfy bed... en route home, on the endless drive, we stopped off to see our mutual friends & i got to visit w/bright & indomitable donna, my dear friend of near-many decades who can talk about anything on earth & make it interesting. my friend, always very generous, is now after years & years of financial struggle earning six figures & so now is even MORE generous;  i left her beautiful house w/gifts of dried fruit, oil of olay, & a feather pillow-top for our bed!
sh*t, we're getting old! but life is sure good.
(ps, i am holding a secret for donna, & when i told james about it, he laughed & yelled with delight. and we are hoping. but i can't say a word about our hopes right now.
but i sure will post here if it ever every happens.) :)

dear aunty rita, rest in peace

henry & rita orozco: combined IQ level,
250+; personality, off the charts

-mama had us meet her at san joaquin hospital in bakersfield once my doctor's appointment with the mysterious & kindly dr agha (a figure from a peter lorre film) was done. we could see on mama's face it was serious this time, & reality suddenly shuddered into a gray, weighted thing. aunty rita was not going to be leaving the hospital. it was the end.
-we went up to icu & she was a tiny figure in the bed, family all around bearing hushed faces of shock: this woman who had dominated all was going to be leaving us all very soon. aunty rita's face for the first time contained grandma's softness; even her mouth as i wiped it gently bore grandma's cupid's bow. the only thing legible she said was to yell aunty dodie's name; doubtless if she'd been more conscious she would have been calling for her sister in order to kick her a*s (their lifelong relationship has been love-hate). i think she smiled at me a bit; i know she did when she saw dad and james joking it up at the foot of her bed because aunty rita loved nothing much more than men. we all sat with her for a long time. i kissed her soft round cheek & told her i loved her & then it was time to leave.
-the next day james showed up at school unexpectedly. he sat with my class & me, sang a few songs, left the room for a bit (to cry, he later admitted), & when the kids were gone to their buses, he told me that aunty rita was gone, & that was it for me for a while til i came out of the fog hours later because it was time to call tushi, my dear cousin, aunty rita's daughter.
-aunty rita was petite, but she was larger-than-life: a foul-mouthed, fierce & fiercely funny figure. in her youth, she was dangerously glamorous, a femme fatale who lived on whisky, cigarettes, hamburgers, & diet pills. (she later stopped drinking & smoking cold turkey & never looked back, characteristic of her resolute nature.) her favorite color was "streetwalker red," she'd tell you; she could charm & disarm any male, 1st with her exotic hourglass looks & personality, later with personality, & with those flashing black eyes & white smile. she was quick with numbers, handling money for the grape growers in delano, ca. she hustled & did what she could to take care of our cousins, tushi & ray, her kids. sometimes that meant living back at home with grandma & grandpa, in the house on randolph across from the vineyards.
-later in life, she met uncle henry, who, 110 pounds soaking wet, had carried the torch for her since their  delano high school days (big, rawboned "uncle" danny later would remember her from those days, too, & he would be her last love). uncle henry had become a nuclear engineer with big bucks; he sent for her & she bolted. they traveled the world with his many jobs, amassing hundreds of friends & adventures.
-in those years, every word from aunty rita's mouth seemed to be some hilarious story or other, about meeting mean joe green or oj simpson or seeing willie or just about the family. she & uncle henry together would draw crowds w/their vicious, laugh-out-loud routines. she was merciless in her humorous attack: anyone could be chopped to bits by her tongue, but most would be left howling w/laughter as she hacked away. her temper was fierce, her love just as much so. she ran dear tushi in texas & mom & dad ragged taking care of her these last many years, demanding mama bring her soup or a hamburger or go do this or that errand for her, or that tushi get on the plane RIGHT NOW to get home to her mama. she controlled us all by phone from her couch or (in the last year) hospital bed. she had been sick 17 years, having to stop her travels with uncle henry when kidney failure brought her to bakersfield, where she stuck. she was so often sick, then always sick, but she persevered, she just kept going: we all thought she was gone many times, but she'd come back, defying odds. the family joked that she & james weren't human but mutant: they'd lived lives that would've killed mere mortals...
-many years ago, when i stepped in sh*t pretty deep due to my then-dangerous need for male attention, aunty rita helped me out of it. and she never told a soul how she had saved my reputation & first marriage -- now then, not ever. that was the true aunty rita, bearing a trait all ollivares-forqueras seem to have: that deep, undying loyalty. mama has it for all, abundantly, freely; aunty rita would tear you to bits if she were in the mood, but when the chips were down, she was there for you no matter what.
 -there will never be another aunty rita. we all will miss her huge presence so much. we are heartbroken she is gone, but grateful she no longer has to suffer. i hope i have conveyed even a bit of her here. i will, again, miss her so very, very much.

the great contrast that is life...

1. a picture of mom & dad at last saturday's civil rights march (for women, for humankind) -- mary frances posted it on facebook w/sweet caption, "my aunty monie and uncle gil." just look at this kindly, noble, hard-working, principled, accepting, sensible, lovely couple who still in their mid-and late-70s want to change the world....

2. james just read me this, a 4 a.m. verse he riffed to his army buddy james e.:

I wrote this tonight.

'm gonna eat a huge bowl of cabbage before I play.

My farts are deadly. My aim is true.

Pray to God they don't hit you. ....some are loud, some are soft, unseen across the room they loft.

The band can't get out of the way. All they can do is hope and pray.
They try to breathe, they cannot cough They pray and pray that mine will stop.

I fire them left, I fire them right, I fire them steady all through the night.

I'm on a roll, yet in control, the farting game, I've mastered, from here, to Taft, to Germany, they call me, STINKY BASTARD! I fart so hard, I fly through the air, and gas evil men unconcious (sic) With a spark they become a deadly flame, with a bottle, deadly bomb. My farts are a gift from a parent, not my father, they came from my mom!

I can, with my farts, toot out sweet melodies, a two - step, even a sonata, a jump, a boogie, an 8 - bar roomba, hell, I can fart UNDER WATER!

The sharks, the fear me, the whales understand, for they speak to each other with sound. When the water starts warming, they all stop with a warning, SWIM AWAY, BEFORE WE ALL DROWN!

For those who don't know, I'm not from your Earth, as any astro, or cosmo- naut could attest to...

blablablablablablabla

this was a pic from the last time i played w/james & band,... i think... it's hard to recall w/doggy barking away & i'm so tired. i love the $3 dress i'm wearing in the pic, which penny snagged the next day when i was jogging w/her on the way to santa cruz... we played music this eve, but i was very sluggish due to school/physical fatigue & i realized my right hand hurts from doing school yoga minus any mats on hard classroom floor, but we had fun playing... doggy has stopped barking & tail is beating a tattoo on the floor and now james is back from the store, so time to sign off! he's in the house now, announcing, "hey, honey, that was a lot of fun," & even tho my piano & singing blew chunks this eve, yes, it was fun. singing "love my baby," i had a manuel moment, clearly hearing my own voice aping my dear departed friend's w/o realizing it; i've been doing it all along. and james? when he wings it, he just soars.

this has been a good two days of fun w/kids at school, lots of running, meals at home, meetings, today seeing our rumpled blue-eyed gentleman of a counselor, then music... oh hell, i need to sign off, so bye for now.

hoka hooka hicka HIKE

yesterday i got to go w/my friend christy (my fellow teacher, the high school cross country coach, for her birthday!) on the fog run in bakersfield. we left the hill at ungodly dark-thirty to register, go potty, stretch. she even had me jog an extra mile to warm up. once we started, in a gigantic group of runners, we had a good clip going, were passing ppl, feeling pretty good. grabbed a cup of water @ the halfway point, dropped cup in trash box, hit a rock w/my extra-large super-fantastic hokas, did a swan dive onto the dirt: BAM! i hit chest-first, therefore saving my knees & wrists, but knocking the air out of myself. the last stretch was much harder w/less wind. i came in 7 seconds behind christy: a 10:20 mile. slow compared to the old days, tho i've never been fast!! ...now i have a bit of a resolution: to get back to a sub-10 minute mile.
i want to think the fall slowed me down, but just to be sure, i will work on developing speed... realistically. i'm old, but not yet old enough to be that slow!
today the dog-girl (outside yelling her head off right now) & i did 4.88 tough miles. turns out my knee IS a little injured. down the dirt path, out on the highway, down to the park, around, around, around (saw lisa & arestina, which was nice, as well as students at the skatepark, as usual), then back UP for the steep climb home.  i decided to explore coming back, so cut off the main road down into the riverbed. i mean DOWN: you really descend, & the hills climb steeply, ever more steeply in all directions. we got snarled in thick trees for quite some time, snapping dead branches off on the leash, meandering, branches & stickers tearing my shirt, my pants, my hair, my yushenka... i saw no way back up for quite some time, feeling quite isolated, staving the deliverance thoughts, bearing in mind what i read today about john muir and "sauntering" (see https://vault.sierraclub.org/john_muir_exhibit/life/palmer_sauntering.aspx. )... finally i spied an extremely steep way out & climbed, slid, & scrambled my way out (penny had a bit of a struggle as well) into... more thick scrub brush, no road, more bushwhacking. finally we came to a barbed wire fence, but no real way to approach except through more thicket. crap.
after much struggle, i located a semi-break in the fence that necessitated me lifting penny & gingerly threading her through, then doing the same with myself, careful not to touch hair or flesh to barbed wire. i felt some tearing in my pants & shirt, but they're both home garments, so no problem...
she is barking her head off again, so i'm gonna go. dang beast!!
tomorrow school resumes. i'm not ready, but i will be.
happy birthday tomorrow, elvis!!!!

ON auld lang syne

our favorite people on fun eve in smellay

this is a week late, but it's interesting! especially this part (given the photo i post here): "The song begins by posing a rhetorical question: Is it right that old times be forgotten? The answer is generally interpreted as a call to remember long-standing friendships." here's the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auld_Lang_Syne... now please watch & listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42_ilQc_sxc ... it reminds me of studying chaucer moons & moons ago. or, i should say, NOT studying chaucer. i was a very poor undergrad student.
our dog-girl is whistling & whining outside, entreating to be gained house-entrance... in, dog-girl!
she & i had a few nice runs on james's & my vacation. she & i ran in monterey, we ran in santa cruz (well, i mostly went alone in santa cruz). i put in about 10 miles in two days, so that was the best thing i could say about THAT trip! we agreed afterward we should have visited the gias, where mama had made a beautiful, delicious, lovely new year's day meal & we had a loving, kindly visit... & then we should have turned around & gone back home!
yes, we had a crap of a time, but all is well again now. like i wrote years back in a heartbroken rag (when we were separated), "after the storm, the sun is gonna rise." rise it has, & we is fine. now i'm just waiting for him to split so i can do major cleaning in his Quarter of the Hoarder. this house is gonna be soooo clean by the time he gets back! haHA!!!
then i have to prep to get back to work. and teach choir. oh heck, i conveniently had forgotten!! i'm supposed to teach music for 8 weeks! ... this all is good. creative immersion is a real good when your coconut is prone to upsettings... ok, off for now. :D happy happy day!! happy happy year!! that's it.