aaaahhhhhhhhhh......... running calms the infernal coconut

i just "ran" a 10k, the first "race" of any length i've attempted in 5 years. my time was quite slow. i have self-diagnosed myself as having upper hamstring tendinopathy after watching videos & reading, so started rehabbing myself at home, but i'm a flake, so i dropped the ball & it's sore again. i've been sick all week, too (read below about My Hero, who often is more tragic hero, actually)... i was slow slow, but i know i can get strong again. it's been near-10 years since i got into running. i guess this one i just did was pretty difficult, through the tejon ranch "conservancy" (how noble of them to preserve all this beautiful land Just for Us... tho i doubt their motives when they used some of that land for an outlet mall & now will jam in a huge town right at the base of the grapevine)...i just found this image of the elevation profile of the total course.

in line for the commode, we meet a bunch of amped-up women in matching workout gear who were hyping their obstacle training course in long beach... tho probably in better shape than i, they fell behind quickly, likely not used to the elevation since they live at sea level (they train on signal hill, which tho a steep hill, is at most a few hundred feet high). i'd be in the same boat if i ran in, say, flagstaff or albq or machu picchu. ha!

the course was quite beautiful; the "conservancy" seems to have a lot more water available than does the general mountain area... green, rolling hills; robin's-egg skies; black and dark green oaks; a lake; the shadows; the breezes: nice... i started off with christy & her daughter, but told them to go on as i immediately felt my hamstring seize. but i finished, i finished, i finished, & the best part of long runs usually IS finishing, unless one is strong enough to run endlessly, & then the pleasure is in the act... but i'm no longer, or maybe just not right now (i hope), that strong....

one of my dear sponsees just called; we had such a great chat! it's amazing how talking with another alcoholic woman can help me so, so much. related to our talk is this:

alcoholism is such an insidious disease. it breaks the hearts of all who love the alcoholic. there are a thousand ways it ruins lives. 12 step programs may not be for you, but please, if you read this & relate, i beg you to change by whatever method works for you. an alcoholic death is a slow, painful, ravaging misery upon you and everyone who loves you. jnypg (sober not because i hate drinking, but because i love it too much, to my ruin) http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/INFO%20LIST/20Questions.htm

(ps, normal drinkers, party on)

a character & a man of true character

just saw this pic on fb & was compelled to post, moved by james's kindness & consideration. i've been sick, home from work, even, feeling awful physically. he told me, don't worry, honey, stay home, i'll go down & do the show [100 miles away]. so here he is, holding it down solo while i've sat at home all eve... what a brave & awesome performer. four hours all alone (tho backed most expertly by steve kida on drums) when he'd prepared for a combo show. because he did this, i won't be sicker tomorrow; i won't miss work again; & likely i might even feel well by the weekend... i know many people love whiteboy james, but many talk in rumors & innuendos about him. i love james so much, & so please know, if you didn't (but bet you did, if you know james) what you see here is the real man, the one who'd do anything for a loved one in need.

vacation snapshots

 

   

home

sweet home

must-add

this is what mike malone saw when he saw krystal's pic of james:

cesareo in the bakersfield paper also had noted the resemblance in a recent article he wrote...

vacation

big foot ton-of-bricks peewee took a siesta atop my tender organs

this great photo from krystal would make a fine t-shirt image

we're going on vacation later today. wheee!! five people will watch "the pink palace" here, & i think big ed in particular will be ready to bust any heads that come on our property while we're away... friday night was so, so, so exhausting. i worked 1/2 day, left cascarones & easter peeps for the kids, then hopped in car & went through traffigeddon to pick up james. the city traffic increasingly maddens me!! i hate it more & more each time!! how do people do it day after day??? (sing canned heat; be grateful for small towns & public transportation)... the formerly-workhorse truck has been problems, problems, problems: we ended up leaving it w/reliable jeff, who'll fix it & drive it back to us, thus allowing him to get some time out of the city,  time to exhale & breathe fresh mountain air.

i took james to his gig, went to dollar bookstore, drove by a mexican circus, all lit up weird & cheerful (too late to go see it), had pancakes, then back to james's where the audience forgot to show up but he sang & played his soul out, looking like a film noir movie star, as usual... james is born to be in the limelight, i know: can't wait for his upcoming festivals so he can shine for the masses...

i got us a room at the ludlow motel past barstow mid-mojave desert. you check in at the gas station. the whole town is gas station, motel, cafe. nice! think i stayed there long ago, but can't really remember.

next day if time it'd be fun to dip down onto old route 66 through bagdad, amboy (with the photogenic roy's motel), then back up en route to flagstaff. dunno if we'll have time for both grand canyon (the main 1st destination: james's never been there, & i might's well've never been, w/my porous memory) & wupatki ruins... flagstaff's one of my top-25 places to visit, so i'm looking fwd to this... then on to james's fave, las vegas, our desired stopping pt being fremont st area/old downtown, NOT the gross strip... this reminds me, one of my books from dollar book fair is entitled elvis shrines; better check before we go to make sure we don't miss any.

seven years ago

at left is 1st pic of us, 2010
at right is most recent pic of us, 2017
i have lost my girlish looks, but at my age, i think that's ok.
i remember that day: it was hotter than hell in bakersfield at vinny's; james's then-guitarist rushed in while we played & gestured for us to keep going. james was late. later i learned he'd almost died that day in a near-wreck en route to the show. spying the ppl he was with that day, i ignored my suspicion that james was underworld-connected, mebbe... he walked me to my car, talking my head off about being a voice actor, korean fans lined up 100s deep to get his autograph at blizzcon, comic books, gigs, a history book he was reading, & so many topics, i thought, wow! this guy is so nice! so friendly! i must've been wrong in my earlier assessment! i like him! what a cool guy!
seven years ago.
later that eve, james showed up at my 2nd band show of the day at narducci's. i remember kaykay telling me, "i think he really liiiikes you," but it didn't really register because how could it be true that a steamrolling chick-magnet tough guy like whiteboy james would like me?... james & my then-bass player did tricks w/cigarettes & then i had to go home because in those days i was really stupid. my then-guitarist walked me out bc he had to go home, too. (he was married. that was not stupid.)
i wish i'd stayed & hung out with james that night, but i was too stupid, as i said, divorce-grief-stricken & -guilt-ridden & self-punishing. didn't know things would get much better in my life, tho it would take years & lots of james & i getting to know each other.
four days and counting to our vacation!!!!!!

blue blue blooooooobloooooooooooooooo

many yrs ago my band the dusk devils pulled onto (probably; i didn't know LB back then) shoreline or ocean in long beach to go play a festival at the queen mary. i saw signs for & heard wonderful music from the long beach bayou blues festival. i thought, "i want to play THERE!, not WHERE WE'RE GOING!!!" now i get to play there with james & the blues express.
this has been a wonderful day, & now i have the blues. this is how it goes for me. i had wonderful yoga, with kind, funny debbie; wonderful talks with wonderful people; wonderful mexican breakfast with wonderful parents & handsome spouse (he's wonderful, too); wonderfully soaring mountain drive through purple lupines, scatterings of bright orange poppies (popping with color!), startling spray of yellow splashed across rolling green fields out of impressionist paintings; a winding valley of dark-green pine & bucolic ranchos, the glorious air, magical "elfen" pine canyon road,  overhanging, curling oak branches & leaves dappling the road with shadows, then shopping in our little town: a rummage sale; the market; our new organic food store, carrots fresh from the earth,  sweet & covered with dirt, once washed, snapping with flavor... but now? blue blue blue.
i know this: this, too, shall pass.
here is a bio i wrote for the fest; they picked a dazzling pic of james to accompany it. his handsome mug with my grabbing copy make for, i believe (tho with considerable bias) the most compelling & attractive musical act of all...
please check out the link. whiteboy james at bayou blues festival
here's what they picked to run for doheny: whiteboy james at dohney blues festival
... when i am in shavasana lately, i realize: this is where you'll be permanently in not too many years. jenny: you and everyone you love & every human to walk this earth... what kind of crap is that to ponder???
my gloomy-happy brain must be this way for some reason... or maybe not! there must be purpose... right?