sometimes people have mistaken me for someone else -- for instance, there has been a woman in bakersfield who is a hostess or waitress & people have thought i was her. or a woman will say, "oh! i thought you were my friend from high school!" sometimes it's an actress -- then i have to go look her up & muse, do i look like her? -- which is goofy, because i am NOT her. some people might think i am syrian, or east indian, or some "girl" from another band, somebody i'm not -- in silliest cases, or if they're hallucinating, a giraffe or devil or cat or whatever they think i am, good bad or indifferent -- this includes being maligned, gossiped about, being judged or called bad names... i am not any of those things, even when people tell me i am.
when i know who i am, & from whence i came, when people think i am something/somebody else, or just tell me that i am for whatever their reasons may be, i can remain detached from their observation, which is just & only that. i don't have to judge them or internalize their error cause i know who i am & from whence i am. they are just mistaken, but i don't even need to tell them that. reality's subjective for us all, after all... what you think i am is none of my business, i used to hear all the time in the program.
everything that happens in this life is ephemeral & the more i can remember that, as well as who & what i am, the better off i am. the ideal is that it all slough off me like water off a duck's back -- our dad's a good role model of that.
does this make sense? it did to me this morning in meditation... whether i'll still feel & realize it one hour or one minute from now's another matter... another fun thing that happened while "under" is i saw some unusually trippy patterns inside my eyelids (zen meditation suggests you keep your eyes open, but i like mine closed)... still astounded that my brain, w/no external input, can create such beauty & moments of realization & even transcendence... may your days be merry & bright.
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