Wednesday, April 30, 2014

you'll never never know...

man, one great thing about the ups & downs is the creative bursts! earlier today i wrote a sadsack tune w/a strong bridge, but i'll never perform it cause i never perform or even pitch the bummer tunes; they just stay in their sad little notebooks, poor babies, nursing one another, i spose. writing songs expressing negatives can be kinda like puking, maybe, providing a good purge, allowing you to flush & move on, feeling better already. (wow - what a gross metaphor!)
i took an evening trip & had a wonderful time driving w/o any dehumanizing-horror traffic. (will never be a city person in that regard, accepting carmaggedon as part of life, which it is for the life-long so-cal city dweller.) i explored roads & saw gold & purple wildflowers, then had a delicious pupusa (in memory of uncle henry) & a pineapple-spinach drink w/crushed ice, then attended one of those weird, sparsely-attended, low-bottom kinda meetings that yet always yield/s gems, if one just has patience... a slight, grizzled old man, arms & legs folded & teeth clacking, yes, seeming kinda daft at first, opened his mouth & revealed that good old-time wisdom & gruff humor & heart i so, so love in the program... his joke:
Q: how can you tell if an alcoholic's hit bottom?
A: he stops digging.
something upon which certainly to cogitate! or not.
after that, i had a long good talk w/my sister & realized she's going to be such a splendid therapist, w/her outstanding combination of brains, compassion, humor, & patience... then james & i had a long good talk about all kinds of things, including childhood stories & realizations and... in a flash, thinking about it all, having not just more compassion & sympathy, even empathy, but epiphany  & hope, out poured the most bitchin' kinda song with the above title! if tina turner still puts out albums, i'm gonna submit it to her, & i mean it!!!
i hope i can sleep, with that song in my head... can't wait to record it, but right now, unfortunately, it's too late... soon!
there's nothing like the feeling of knowing you've birthed something really, really good w/your own brain  & hands. new babies all the time... all unique, some disappointing, some good, some fantastic, but all beloved buttercups! insert quotes about the exquisite creative process, the muses, inspiration, transcendence, being a vessel of the universe, dumb happy luck, gratitude, etc... good night to you.

3 comments:

jenny page said...

this is only related in the most vestigial way, but i want to type it here so i can later reread it at my leisure: "oliver sacks is full of sympathy for afflicted strangers and he usually determines that people have developed strengths and gifts as compensation for the supposed defects. also: 'there is often a struggle, and sometime more interestingly a collusion between the power of pathology and creation.'... if you were happy and normal why would you ever want to write a book?... there was an aspect of dementia to the act of writing as there was to the desire to travel, but as sacks pointed out, dementia was nothing to be ashamed of, and indeed was often a useful spur to imaginative or creative acts." (paul theroux, the pillars of hercules)

Anonymous said...

I hope you will post your songs when after you record them so that we all can listen...

Anonymous said...

Yes! We'd love to hear them!