Monday, April 21, 2014

blarhp

we came for a quick trip to the folks' house for easter & have been in food comas all day... recently saw the documentary "food matters," recommended by cody b, so i know what i put in my mouth affects my health in all ways, but it's at this point still too easy to succumb to the lure of good food, especially when cooked by mama... james is still passed out on what my sister calls something like the mari-metha-coca-amphe-crackamine bed (it has amazing sleep-inducing powers) here at mom & dad's, so i'm hoping to be able to revive him soon so we can get to the mountain house where we can pour ourselves into THAT bed & pass out in front of the mountain by sunset... i spent all weekend prior to this at the drunk convention in OC & got to see parts of movies like "flight," "story of bill w," & "arthur" while munching popcorn & as well as attend  many swell marathon & other meetings & move amidst the throngs & crushes of jolly merry people i don't know but yet know, feeling like a safe & happy ghost... i've never gone to an event of such size solo, where i didn't really know anybody, & i liked the extra-anonymity. i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted. angie says it was the same when she took the girls to the anime expo. it was quite pleasing to be alone in that crowd, not feeling lonely at all.. my favorite part of these kinds of conventions is the "sobriety countdown" & easter morn i found myself at the countdown part of the concluding ceremony of the convention, blubbering w/gratitude, enjoying a cathartic cry; you could just feel all the souls in the  auditorium, collectively happy, having escaped disaster together, the generous joyful energy permeating & pervading... speaking of collective happiness, here's a recent pic of me with my dear friend donna & her sis marcie -- they  surprised me by showing up at harvelle's, & i was overjoyed! we all look lovely, i think, as truly happy people do. at the convention, i ran into a friend i've not seen for a decade; again, i jumped for joy! so amazing & wonderful he's found sobriety! he took, then texted my picture to his husband; this couple were always teasing, catty, devastatingly funny, & also loyal & very loving; hubby texted back, "tell her i hate her! the rest of us get old & she stays the same!" nothing is more beautiful than the generosity of spirit that radiates from real happiness, i think, the deep happiness that comes from being in the presence of true loved ones, those one can honestly trust & by which be trusted. there is a shared appreciation, support, loyalty, affection. i treasure every single one of these folks & look forward to forging many, many more such connections as i get older & wiser. i also anticipate relationships i now have to deepen as my spirit continues to change; i want to love, & i want to be loved. i want to be a better human being.
so grateful to have the love i have in my life.
happy spring, easter, time of rebirth, renaissance, positive change.

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