that's a line from an ike turner song that james has in his repertoire... i thought it sounded just like stagger lee so was kinda glad to know james didn't write something so derivative. his compositions to my ear always have some variant that makes them shine musically, like surprising breaks or an odd change that throws the song someplace novel...
i'm feeling a little weird! we went to toluca lake, then frazier park, then taft, then bakersfield, then had a bunch of adventures on the way home, then resolved some communication issues... dang, it's hard to talk things out when you want to jump over the fence! james says i have rabbit in my blood. i'd say he has wolf! anyways, we are really good: the path to better & better continues to lead us to more adventure & companionship & greater love, so i'd rather endure its sometimes rough patches, twists & turns, & steep inclines than not be on it at all!... anyways, he was out last night helping a terrible situation get better, so i found myself ping-ponging around facebook & puzzled together a situation that just got me spinning a little bit!
i played w/a band whose leader i believed in. she was beautiful & had a good singing voice & wrote interesting songs. i glommed from the git-go she'd come to hollywood to become famous bc that's a type you run into in music biz; she was chameleon-like, changing her look & sound w/goal to hit it big, & she drank a lot & was hazardously flirty, in my view, but she was always nice to me & like i said, i believed in her talent. increasingly, the drinking, to my eyes, made performance sort of sad, as did the flirting; i felt i was watching someone a bit on a downhill slide, tho she was & is still popular & i do have a magic magnifying mind that sees things that just ain't there at times.... i thought the booze & man-manipulating diminished her; it just didn't make sense to me! more & more obviously, too, things weren't on the up & up business-wise... james from the start told me, w/increasing force, to jump ship. i'd already done so w/the other act i was in, where the bandleader'd gone over the top being scathingly mean (i sort of admired her b*tchniness going into the project; stupid me didn't realize that meant the time'd come when I'D face that wrath!)... so i quit, then they fired my long-time associate from bakersfield, & now i find out the drummer left w/a big F you, & the latest, her long-time loyal bass player, a nice young man, & her longer-time life/business partner have left! so i think, what the F? what happened? & do a little sleuthing & see: of course! of course! a beautiful young man! pictures of the two of them that smolder!... i recognize this: it happened w/james & i -- chemistry that can't be denied; like-lust-love that roars thru like a hurricane & destroys all that was! yes, her world, & the world of those who loved her, has been tossed upside down... huge changes... new lives.
i don't know why i feel so confused about all this except that it's a lot of change in a system i thought wouldn't do so in this manner. i like to think i know what's going on... compared to my husband, i'm quite innocent of people w/perhaps nefarious motives. i assume people are dishonest cause they don't know they're being dishonest, or they're hurt, but they're basically good. he disagrees... i thought the singer & her partner would carry on forever in their to-my-eyes broken way, maybe finding success, their motives always incomprehensible to me... now this!... i'm hoping she's now sincerely happy. and i hope i was wrong about the underhandedness. maybe now, she won't have to drink as much. she did always seem to me not real happy; maybe that's why i now write. and maybe i misunderstood what they were up to. maybe her former partner, an older man that never made sense as her partner in the doomed way may-december couplings always seem, is happier now. maybe there wasn't too much hurt in the break-up. maybe they never were a couple, as people whispered. maybe she knew the beautiful young man all this time! maybe they were married all this time! the singer & her partner always were very mysterious, even evasive about themselves. i felt i never got to know them, & never would. still, i have faith in humanity. the only constant is change. may all be well.
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