post 700: a message from james

stalking (present participle, verb): Pursue or approach stealthily: "a cat stalking a bird"; "a delusional fan stalking a performer, believing there to be more to the relationship than there is". Harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted & obsessive attention: "the man stalked the woman"; "a controlling ex-girlfriend, unwilling to see her part in a long-over bad relationship, tries to stalk her ex, making herself look like a creepy loser in the process". stalking is not just sick, but illegal. there will be negative legal consequences.
(now from me, jenny): we had quite a fun time last night at harvelle's. we got to long beach early & i read in a book-lined coffee house, then overdid it at the gym while james happily ran errands & went visiting... we shared a delicious portabella flatbread thingy recommended by the friendly barkeep at harvelle's, joked w/soundman doug, then i got to pound out a set w/the scotts (lambert & abeyta) as well as tony lopez. james smiled broadly from the sidelines as i stomped on the piano & did my silly deal. the audience sounded enthusiastic, cheering happily, as they did (of course) when james got up when i was done... now he is putting up shelves for the son as i type & soon we'll play music together before having a mid-morning nap. we have been singing & listening to tunes & watched bits of blues videos & ate pop-tarts & leftover pizza. i am in the best position ever in life, retired from meaningful career (which, who knows, might return to), now 45 yrs old, w/the most wonderful fit of a husband i could never have dreamed up. mama says she believes i've found my purpose in life, & having yesterday read an article about life meaning vs happiness, that helps me understand why at times he & i are down... to have purpose is to think of others & their needs, of long-term goals that will benefit more than oneself in the moment -- this can negate personal temporary pleasure at times, but in the long run, satisfies more deeply. i'd much rather have down times that ultimately deepen the important relationships i have than have my selfish plans & schemes met in the moment (be happy), but be alone & lonely in the long-run... "he who has a why to live can endure any what" (i paraphrase victor frankl)... did my masters' thesis on this topic; you can look it up, if you're interested, or not.
in the end, it's all water under the bridge for all of us. "given that i must die someday, how will i live today?" ... indeed. what shall we do, honorable fellows? when we meet, do we look in one another's eyes w/dignity & knowledge of our own honesty & integrity? can i look into your eyes & know you've been honest w/us? goodbye for now...