hello. i'm jenny page. once upon a time, i had a band in bakersfield cali called the dusk devils. you still can find dd music online. now i live in the mtns & am married to my wonderful husband, whiteboy james. i know him as james or other endearing nicknames i won't list here. we are as happy as two nuts can be. life is an adventure, a chore, a beauty, a choice, a turn. life is short, but it is good as you make it (in this culture, anyways), so let's not forget that!
Monday, February 11, 2013
zap bzzzzrrrtt ssssshhzhzzzhzzhzhhzzzz pop ping! zzzzt!
noggin's experiencing a wild audio-visual storm as it pulls out of being near-drowned in medication it no longer needs... i sit here & type to distract it, zapping & sparking, then running low & slow, confused & muddy. storms do upset terrain considerably, tho the after-effect should be clear & clean skies & land of greater beauty & fecundity. that's nice to anticipate, making this crappy i-guess-it-truly-is withdrawal worth it...
anyways, heck, i don't even know if what i'm writing makes sense... this blog's turned into a chronicle of Life with James, but this is my life now, & how can words convey how grateful i am for him? if i don't write it down, i'll forget, so onward! yes, we've had the most lovely marathon of road trips & music & family these past many days... enjoyed thrift-vintage-movie lot funky shopping in burbank, then the crisp, invigorating cold & 4-5 varieties of snow & movietime & cozy rest & james's perfectly-built fire at the mountain pad, then lovely slumber & food & visit w/the folks in this-time-of-yr gorgeous backwardsville, then back down for james's weekly gig (here's a pic of us singing "let's roll" at that, which turned into a big jam session for scott abeyta's bd, highlights for me being max bangwell's silly & inspired rendition of some willie dixon [i like to think sparked by james's & my stage silliness], & when a friend came up to confide in & get support from sober james, who's so quickly become such a positive role model to so many of his fans [wow! it's so, so cool to be there to witness this!], & then felix's harmonica & little kelly belting some out). we stayed up all night & grabbed the boy & returned to the these-days-unsmoggy-&-wide-open-&-verdant lovely central valley for bro-in-law dougy's bd w/sea of family & mexican grub & chatting & chortling & just the nicest kind of happy visit you could imagine... james, raised baptist, wanted to sing doug a church song for his bd, so we practiced a few outside. "i'm more nervous than if i were playing a festival!" he said, then went inside & sang & played his heart out, me on my childhood piano & him on guitar. he was so terrific, sharing all his wonderfulness & heart-as-big-as-the-universe w/the family like that, & doug was really happy, i could tell, making it definitely worth it for us two agnostics... after the herd cleared out, we settled in for the night & next morn mama made breakfast & dad took us all on a country drive & shared w/james his extensive local-history knowledge, & i was so gladdened & touched to see the love mom & dad have for the jameses getting bigger all the time, & the jameses for them... james & i have such hope for us as a couple & individually, just as humans, having role models like our folks; that former self-described "bad man" & this recovering weenie-martyr-sybil want to follow their path, they who seem more near-saintly each day. my experience is, as people get older they either get more broken, bitter & blaming or, like mom & dad, ever-blossoming, ever more beautiful & bountiful & inviting, making greater shade & plenty for all who are near. yes, what generous, kind, accepting, forgiving, upstanding humans we get to have for folks.
good god; just got choked up. must stop typing. when i think on how it could be, what a miracle Life is. what a miracle. isn't it? lastly, here's a thought to chew on, the most moving idea i've heard in a while: that we should consider & practice "the power of showing compassion toward a total stranger" -- &, of course, true friends, loved ones, & respectful acquaintances... ah, crap, i guess that means forgiving & having compassion for everyone, even those who don't seem to "deserve" it, on a small level like people (hope you're not one!) who've been sh*theels to james & i. we all get to live, at least for now, we're all humans w/the same brain pan & basic needs, fundamentally we're all kin... so guess the high road's the one to take. no sense mucking around in the gutter... gee! what a better way to be! it's certainly a goal! :D
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