"i refuse to let our respective mental illnesses keep us from having fun!" -my husband's famous words

...when he pronounced this, as we skipped across some street in the middle of some night after some musical event in some southern california city, probably toward some bar, our hearts sang. of course, the certain difficult moments in life can make one less in a mood to sing... any sane, functioning adult only can live in lalaland so long before reality jumps up and smacks him/her in the face. we are not children, & certainly the honeymoon's not over, & we have been married today one month, & despite some trials (i knew what i was getting into, as did he), i am so glad to be with this man, with his tremendous heart, talent, capacity to love, bravery, crazy brilliance, & desire to change & better himself & us, even if sometimes that desire swells up only after a ton of shi*t's been dropped on us by him or by me... i've never met anyone with whom i could partner like this. it's so powerful, such a force, it scares me when the ride hits a bump, tho i know it must here & there... he knows me, i know him; he needs me, i need him. we are a team. we want to understand each other. that's a big one: no one's ever understood either of us, really... we fall down seven times, we help each other get up eight. we will not be beat, least of all by any demons in our minds, least of all by the detritus of this world; in fact, there is no "most of all" that will defeat us. he is my mad & handsome & genius king, & he says that i'm his kind & beautiful & crazy queen, & if i sound like a cornball, i don't care... regarding tomorrow, i acknowledge "thanksgiving" as a starting line for the european terror & decimation of indigenous peoples here, have felt sorrow regarding that horror, have reconciled my conflict, or at least put it on a back burner, to turn toward celebration with loved ones, which is what i've gotta do to live well & happy; yes, some daily denial of the world's crucial to keep this head out of the oven... anyways, thanksgiving tomorrow will be about my family joining with his in friendship, kindliness, generosity, welcome, & happiness. next year, i hope more of us will celebrate together. for now, i feel realistically grateful. happy holidays to you who might be reading... may you have the love, true love, that we are forging, love that surmounts madness, the world, life, & death.