haaaaaaaaaapppy new year!!! and blablablablabla

- don't wanna write, so i will. 1st of all, here's a wonderful, wonderful song i found thru fb monster grottu orloff as well as pic of me from lisa paxton.
- now the enchilada: spent a few days between gigs down in north san diego county w/the mcgraws, generous, friendly, well-adjusted program friends whom i love so much... 1st pt of the visit was w/handsome bill as freddy worked. he created a breakfast item he dubbed "oatmeal jenny." delicious! 2nd half of visit i spent w/freddy @ swell women's mtg... after i'd left, they sent a characteristic msg: "the girls [their dear little dogs] want to know where that bettie page gal went." what a sweet visit i got to have, & how lucky i am to know so many good ppl these days!
- met tim maag @ wed's show w/cattie ness & revenge at big's, fullerton. tim was bassist for cramps, D.I., social distortion, alice bag band. punk royalty! he was running sound & said after that i have "chops" & wants me to record some "60s-style" organ pts w/a band i can't remember name of... i was really flattered. becky & all looked fantastic! adam played so loudly, however, all i heard was cacaphony... the audience seemed to enjoy, tho, & that's all that's important. after, i got to crash in becky & john's rm when adam took off w/his bro; becky woke up @ dawn's crack, as she always does, turning on lights & talking away as she always does. it's so annoying, it's kinda cute -- she's like the innocent, oblivious little girl waking up early on sat morn to watch cartoons, & everybody needs to wake up RIGHT NOW to watch them, too! :)
- tim maag was again @ new year's show @ big's -- this time i played w/karling abbeygate, as did bsp & aj & donnie... drummer was john "bermuda" schwartz, who's weird al's drummer & a real gentleman. we had a rocking, smoking set, having warmed up earlier @ aj's sis's house. that family has the nicest, cutest kids; homeschooled by mom, they interact politely & intelligently w/adults. unusual! it was a continuing delight to look over & see those little ones dancing & smiling, then coming over to ask questions about the piano, or just ask if i needed anything (wow!).... aj's family in general impress me as highly attractive young ppl who also are decent & nice. i continually these days meet young ppl (heck, each day, more & more ppl are young, compared to me!) who seem to have it together as decent humans & remind me fleetingly of what a mess i was... nice to know these days i get to evolve, thru not drinking but mostly thru not dying, into a decent sort w/friends. but still... how do these young ppl do it? how do people just seem to KNOW how to be attractive, generous, kind, hard-working? it's a lovely thing to meet these types. it warms my cockles. :)
- yes, i like being a sideman, & i like that karling wants me to look "edgier." for sat's show, for instance, she said i should wear my "zombie makeup," so i was delighted to be able to lay it on thick. (the paxtons let me crash their fancy hotel rm to gussy up -- thank you!!) in face paint & short dress, i DID feel a lot more comfy than when i'm trying to look like a more traditional female... que lastima. i was so wrecked in childhood, wanting to be dad... or was i? karling, who masks a sharp & incisive mind behind a coy, heart-faced pinup image, says no, i'm just artistic. another friend says, "you gotta be you." wanda jackson told me, "you gotta make it your own, honey." remember the oracle at delphi. remember what happened to all those bands that tried to become what the record companies wanted them to be... i mean, quien sabe? just know i feel more comfortable being part-monster. a nice monster, like hermann munster, that is. or, in less-nice moments, maybe wednesday addams...
- being a sideman's exciting cause i'm able to concentrate more on just the piano, tho art fein's disappointed i'm not singing w/either becky's or karling's line-ups. (when i told him bsp & i're subbing in w/karling's band, he generously commented, "wow! that must be a powerhouse line-up!") singing w/these ladies might come, might not: for now, i like becky & karling, respectively, having the limelight. as a sideman, i hang back & put in the best, most stylistically appropriate music pts i can rather than try to steal the spotlight, detracting from the star's thing. my job's to make her look good by playing well & chirping the occasional i-hope-funny off-mike aside (tho becky warned me right before downbeat, "don't act weird," which left me so confused, i couldn't say anything!! i don't know how weird i am, but i know ppl tend to laugh when i speak, which feels good & must be good for the show... right? plus genius james says we're both weirdos & he "gets me," which i find flattering cause he is an amazingly gifted, authentic performer!). my hope is, if i don't hog the stage in a band that's not mine, i can leave the audience wanting more instead of wanting to toss me off the stage for trying to take over... they didn't come to see ME, after all, tho i spose eventually, if i do it right, they might come in part to see me. :)
- phil alvin showed up unexpectedly @ the ny show... i coulda died!!!! james intveldt's his student & also ex-blasters, & ji (along w/rosie flores) headlined... but phil's been really ill & looked like he'd just gotten out of the hospital, which he has, maybe even released too early... later i hung w/the musicians, including the world's most bawdy & beloved tough-guy bluesman: ppl on the street see him & run over to hug & kiss him, which he does back to males & female alike, & i so love the unabashed affection for humanity & life w/which he swells & overflows... late nite new year's turned into a bukowski novel: music, car rides to noplace, a dark bar of instant friends, the tattooed & sweet-natured bartender, coffee & oj for me, endless drinks for the regulars, clinking glasses, constant conversation, then the bluesman, who bounces & bodyguards when not playing music, was called in off the steamy early-morning street by the yells of the bartender: "he won't get up! he's not breathing!" -- to save the life of a kid od'd in the bathroom. "you should wear a cape," i told him admiringly afterward, once he'd slapped, shook, & soaked the kid back to life, but rattled, he just blinked soberly & said, "now i'm having flashbacks," lit a cigarette, & turned just as a large man walking up the street spied him, laughed joyously, & ran up w/"oh man, oh man, you're still alive! i love this guy!!" they bear-hugged & kissed & began reminiscing, the ugliness of the last few minutes forgotten.
- i'm not used to pulling all-nighters, so it's soon back to the couch for me... it is a new year, & so i resolve this year to love more & suffer less, & when ugly memories or experiences come up, which they do & will, to learn from them, put them in perspective, then put them behind me & look forward to the next adventure, as do my most admired & beloved friends. as the little sign on my wall reads, "breathe deeply... love freely, laugh often, live generously, pray earnestly, & be kind."
- happy new year to all. :)