fragmenticity, shifts in tense, sleepy can't-sleep ramblings

-can't sleep!
- going to nyc! among other things, for a meditation seminar... need to mellow out. so excited, tho!!! want to ice skate (haven't since 1x in child yrs), jog & explore central pk, walk & walk the upper east side & everyplace, see coney island, eat pizza. anything beyond just being there will be lagniappe. art said, "i'd never sleep if i lived there. i can definitely feel the pulse of the city..."
- lately - beautiful karling abbeygate & my friend manuel! palmer & leo were there, too, w/me therein reuniting the big manny christmas record crew... :) cool retro marina hotel. late night drives. denny's pancake puppies & peppermint shake! dusk devils music. scotty adds ideas to evil eye... yes, new songs! monster drinks. very cool gigs upcoming, more pending!! long mountain hikes with friends. i look out from the vista on which i stand & realize: the mountains are my backyard! wow! transitions, arguments, amends, lonely times, better times. good mtgs around here! visit from mom & dad... then hollywood w/art fein: john tottenham art exhibit; in the midst of it, surprise glimpse of beautiful erin, who's gracious enough to let me make amend to her, albeit brief (i'm sure i spooked her; i'm sure she didn't expect to see awful me there... but she looked happier when she left, less stressed, & i was so happy, too, to get that unexpected chance to try to make right a wrong); friendly paul body w/his roach-stomping, high-gloss cowboy boots; phil alvin... phil alvin! at the art opening, just like that, incongruously!... (why do i say "incongruously"? i don't really know the guy! just certainly didn't expect him there... nor he, me [us?], by his pleased gape.)
-just a bit more on phil, w/whom i've been obsessed for decades (tho i have had to admit in this past yr he'll possibly never be my future ex-husband): he stood there grinning at me -- at ME!! -- like bugs bunny or the heehaw donkey, rooster-chested, shoulders thrown back like the one bad stud, in a black thrift-store suit & white dress shirt w/wife-beater showing beneath... his hair was dyed, jeffersonianly, & his manner was dim, hip, regal, friendly. "hey, di-d-did i hear ya moved?" he asked me, jutting forward at me for a bit of emphasis, & then we all talked for a bit & i piqued him w/news of the mysterious museum of jurassic technology, a dang place never open when i'm down there... phil was there to hang out, to schmooze, but i got freaked out!, so went to "look at the art." can't be that crazy hot-to-trot for someone for so many yrs then stand & shoot the bull w/him. just can't. it was too much!!
- art had a little wine & was done, said it didn't make him drunk but just feel weird, tho also relaxed so that he "could talk." malcolm gladwell, accordion, relationships, living in paris (he has; i've just visited), some gossip about a musician-knothead everyone knows, & of course, music music music, lots of talk & it all & all was quite a cool & even amazing evening... headed to cabana club off sunset for stunning, wonderful ruby friedman orchestra, ruby leading her crescendoing songs w/these magnificent silent-era eyes & lips & arms that floated like butterflies. then she'd rock & shake like the child of joe cocker meets janis & it was the coolest thing i've seen ever in someone not a whacked-out rockabilly eccentric. she was so haunting, sincere, lovely, rock-opera intense - yet a giggling sort of friendly gentle hippie girl in repose, which made me like her even more.
good gravy, i need to go to bed...