ah, good taste! what a dreadful thing. taste is the enemy of creativity.

(name that artist)
- i received as a gift a handmade raku bowl. the guy who gave it to me & i talked at length about the arts & i recalled how my ex-guitar player used to call me "narrow minded" cause am not one of those who "likes everything." this guy told me such strong reaction can alienate people & tho my 1st thought was, "well, [to heck w/] them," i guess growing up's learning to accept other people's tastes & be respectful of them. i do wanna do that on some level bc i like people in general & don't want to hurt them & after all, here in america, everyone's entitled to their opinions.
- then i recalled being in austin yrs ago w/a boyfriend who insisted we go in this beer bar that had good drink specials. problem was the heavy metal hair band playing inside, & tho i warned him i couldn't stomach the music, he insisted we go in & just listen for a while, & sure enough, yeah, i was bombed, but it was the music that made me sick. it hurt; it was repulsive; it was just flat-out wrong.
- i'm like art fein cause i can't go in stores playing bad music, can't be at parties w/bad music, can't listen to the radio most of the time, can't tune it out at all, & it does make life tough sometimes, for me & those around. so much of the time i keep my mouth shut & then i just start to feel sick... how much is real & how much is middle class privilege? it does feel genuine, oppressive, disheartening. so i'm thinking maybe "narrow-mindedness" or strong reaction to the arts can be a form of self-preservation, like the way early humans were signaled to not eat the poisonous plants bc nature gave warning by making such vegetation unpalatably bitter. why expose oneself to visceral unpleasantness? why puke in an austin doorway when the ears have amply warned that such noise will bring illness? run, wear earplugs, don't go in to begin w/, change the channel immediately... just say no to bad art.
- bad art & prose/poetry are easier to stomach; they don't simper, shout, or scream at you like bad music does; if they suck, you simply can avert your eyes & still be ok. bad movies & plays are trickier cause of setting... but bad music, that just makes life more like death.
- what defines bad? for me, it's a little voice inside, the voice that knows all, that is always right, & says things such as "you must do this tho it is painful because it is your truth" or "just don't drink today" or "go help that person" or "keep your mouth shut" or "just go to work" or "be nice"... my little voice is saying "little richard" & "new orleans" & "go cat go." and, dang it, "go to bed." what does your little voice declare? remember the oracle at delphi...
- in short, the guy who gave me the bowl was just trying to control me.