it's alive!!!!

Just cleaned house for folks while James & Peewee sleep. When the surgeon cut James open, he said he exclaimed, "What the hell is THAT?" He called in his associate, then another. I know gruff life-saving Dr Heillbron Sr (nicknamed "Papa" by some at the hospital) is written to have 45 yrs' experience, his associate 42, so w all 3, over a century saving lives combined isn't out of the ballpark. They'd never seen a perforated ulcer of James's variety. He'd have died if it'd been a "normal" bleed out, & would've anyway had he not gotten to St Mary's when he did  (((shudder)))...
Below's a pic of us from last eve as we relaxed on the patio w family in the beautiful eve fragrant w jasmine... James lost 25 lbs over the course of what he calls his "event," all muscle, I think, since he's never had a roll of fat. He's started eating more like Dad, little meals about every hour, & his biceps still pop up like bowling balls, so he'll be back in fighting trim soon enough, I believe...
This a.m. Mama & I put together a "little library" to take out to the Friendship House. This is a VERY worthwhile endeavor, & m&d are doing their pt to make sure the books go where they're needed... read about how to start &/or find a little free library ... my finger is stiffening from phone-typing. We can't wait to be back on the mountain. We

are so happy for the gift of life life life.

goodbye & thanks for all the fish...

- haven't been on a "real" computer since march 5. the fateful day! the terrifying day! the day now cautiously but decisively, neatly tucked away in our pasts, not to be forgotten ever, but now put in its proper compartment, no longer our overwhelming reality!
- it's a different life now for us both & all. miracles have abounded, or fortuity, or positive coincidence; whatever it's been, i'm very very very very very very (zenith) thankful! thankful for the good universe, god, order, chance, change, st mary's medical center, beloved family & dearest friends, the indomitable james page, as well as the (we estimate) 20-or-so-thousand people who prayed for him!
- almost ready to write more on what happened... not now, tho. still makes my heart jump & respiration run raggedy!
- many know my husband almost left this earth on march 5. his band wasn't in a car wreck, he didn't get shot or shanked or any of the other rumors. his insides exploded & he was very, very, very ill, but he is an amazingly strong specimen of humanity in heart & body & so now he heals...
- ahh!! arrhythmia!! anxiety!! no more for now!
- i have missed reading aloud (nearly my favorite thing about having been a teacher) & sometimes james lets me read aloud to him & at the long beach hospital that was our home for over 2 weeks, i started hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy with him, one of his & sister angie's favorite (they & the book being weird, smart, nerdy, & silly), & now i can say with understanding: DON'T PANIC and remember... a towel can be a massively useful thing.
- please read w/amusement these quotes from HGTTG
- smiling kindly, wan, wearing one of dad's heavy robes, tender belly filled w/mama's cooking, james just walked in to say hi.
te deum laudamus........................................... fo sho.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

sitting here at my favorite picture window in the office area of our dining room... it's my favorite window in the world cause it looks out on the arroyo & mountains, always a beautiful view. the snow's been falling off & on for 3 days now, all types of it: big & sloshy; icy pellets; soft & gentle; plump flakes; dancing, steady, cascading, plummeting, frolicking, disappearing into the ground, sugaring the trees & earth, forming icy packs; & more. right now, it's falling like movie snow, blanketing the sky & land with quiet white calm. :) except for blizzards (only been thru one since moving here: yecch!! i had cabin fever after four hours!!!), i love the pretty

i am very, very, very, very, very lucky.

snow, & who wouldn't, if not besieged by it, as is happening in the eastern u.s. these days? snow brings cleansing, comfort, contemplation & beauty.
the wide & parched san joaquin valley's been getting rain as part of this weather pattern, & it needs it badly. so happy my dried-out, too-often dirty home area is being washed & quenched by the rains!
back where i lived from 2012-2014, they had a freak snowfall on the beach this a.m., but upon closer reading, turns out it was hail. i'm just glad i'm here now, that we're here, that life is unfolding as it is!!

the universe has been very good to us.

and how are you? i'm just swell, blabbing on a bit in the warm house looking out on the lovely snow cause i'm a little trapped today. couldn't hike in it today cause it never let up enough, but i did a few other times in the past week, always such an experience for which my heart fills w/gratitude & happiness: steps crunching, muscles warm & straining, lungs & heart pumping, breath pluming, inhaling the fragrance of wet pine & sage, enjoying the cool sting on my face, stooping to hydrate w/handfuls of the clean cold white stuff, just standing there, elevation-dizzy & dazed by the gorgeousness all around. wow! on the penultimate hike of the past week, i found a big chunk of deer skeleton for james, a bone collector, the biggest specimen i've brought home to him yet! the poor creature, no doubt coyote-killed, was reduced to meaty ribcase & spine as well as hip to hoof still encased in delicate, nubby fur: macabre, fascinating. james was delighted!
on another front, the other night we recorded 17 songs in 6 hours w/young producer nick, who got everything down w/adept speed & skill! after i laid down all my vocals, i visited my dear friend donna, just around the corner from nick's little studio, for a bit & we had one of our big, gigantic laughs & ate some delicious food she'd made for her daughter's party (& sent home for us -- yumyum!) & we watched a show about the dead sea scrolls before i returned to pick up dear james & we hit the late-late-night road for home... we goofed here & there on instruments, as would happen when going live at such a pace, but the only thing that needs work is the guitar sound:  james is confident he & nick'll get it beefed up just fine. yes, we went live, instruments 1st, then vocals; nick captured the very best piano sound i've ever gotten in a studio setting, really pumping & mighty & rich, as well as terrific vocals from james, who happens to be one of the greatest vocalists on this planet!!... we can't use all songs for a demo or to sell at shows, but we will have more than plenty once the mixing is done!
that reminds me: james's shows start back up march 14 w/a birthday show at LB's shenanigan's & i need to make a poster; he & i start up weekly in taft at the bank this thursday. music music music: we're jumping back in the mighty stream!

donna & i having one of our big snorting gasping guffaws

ooh, it's falling harder & starting to blanket the hills... what another lovely day, i pronounce unironically. i will put up posters for shows as well as more on our recordings as all shapes together... the snow's really falling now as night approaches, but the quail are bobbing & pecking around on the 2nd driveway so cutely, joined now by two new babies!, none of them deterred at all by the cold... meanwhile, peewee the genius cat jumps adorably, trying to catch snowflakes thru the picture window... wish everyone could see it, or something equally heartwarming.