happy to be living, obsessed: chicken, waffles, toxic sodapop fuel the monkey

first of all, we all lost another friend the other day. he was lucky, maybe, to go very suddenly, but still, how sad (especially for my hubby, w/whom he was friends; i know b admired j very much, like everyone did). j was taken too early... he was one of two people i recall from '91, when i lived every day in a sick & altered state & yet couldn't see why i had such blasted bad luck. thru then-called-kernview hospital, i wound up at the drunk club (didn't come back til '95) & the smiling, rangy-athletic fellow w/the buzzed, prematurely-grayed hair helped make me feel at home. may he rest in peace, sweet soul that he was. i know he will be well-remembered; we wish his family solace.
i know it's saddest for us still living when we lose someone... being a friend of bill w's means i have more camaraderie & fellowship than i ever could've possibly dreamed, but then loved ones go, suddenly or slowly, here & there, & it stinks each time, but it's life. i know soon enough i'll be shuffling off myself, so i guess the best thing is just to stay with the herd, appreciate & love people while we're here, & try to remember them gratefully & reverently, not sadly & self-centeredly, when they leave.
maybe i'll be so lucky, but i guess that part doesn't matter... remember marcus aurelius, so noble, writing repeatedly that one must act & live from a place of one's own truth, w/o worrying about the condemnations of others, & how the 1st book in his "meditations" pays loving homage to his many role models... he obviously was a man who loved & appreciated many, but knew not to pay unnecessary heed to critics & those lacking vision.
on to the mundanities of life: today, dedicated to polishing off part 3 of my thesis (been at it all wk & sick of it), i sat at the computer for 9 hrs & embarked on a strict regimen of chicken & waffles (a whole essay could be written on this alone, but i'll spare everyone), swashing it down w/a particularly creepy yet delicious sodapop, maybe even deadlier-better than diet big red, called diet pepsi jazz caramel creme... do you think the ingredients of such a potion could fit on the side of a train car? but hi-dee-ho: let's have another can.
that the paper's done & i still live is a really nice deal. :) there's all kindsa music stuff to attend to, especially w/my new band "old 99" (those fellows really want to get stuff started asap... i do wish it were that way w/dusk devils, but not for now, i guess). i have been a little negligent in my saintly duties, as well, but it all has had to wait cause i have had research monkey brain (haven't even been sleeping lately; too many ideas sloshing around in the noggin). by 3 pm, i had birthed another 18-pg paper & it was jig time. we're supposed to turn in 8 pages by april 14, and i've written 42. my thesis is up to over 60. i am very pleased!!! overachieving is necessary in this context; i won't get done by august, otherwise. (btw, i found out guitarist keith wyatt went to new college!!) the toxic chemicals, i guess, help, in the short run (tho kill in the long, but what the hey, let's play play play). not to mention obsession... productively funneled, the latter can be quite a boon. :) (P.S. - tho roscoe's down south has the world's best, dope-wonderful chicken & waffles, J's Southern here in town serves them, too... j's is finger-licking good stuff, dang worth it, on ming avenue, but tho lisa paxton - I MISS LISA!!! - knows the name of the cross-street, i don't.)