why i don't write poems

trying to do research / drinking my milk malted / hearing the dogs snoring / gories, blasters, little walter / my toe's a little rainbow / tho the black & blue's receding / and i'm a real expert at / avoiding heavy reading / burma shave
**
-> kafka's "metamorphosis" (http://www.mala.bc.ca/~Johnstoi/stories/kafka-E.htm)
-> wikipedia analysis (interesting section: "lost in translation" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Metamorphosis)
-> mark twain's very funny "the awful german language" - http://www.kombu.de/twain-2.htm)... this one's a dainty-deterrent, i think. don't drink milk while reading it. :)
***
(two days later)(i should have broken a finger instead of a toe, i think)
- a didactic ode to my idols -
axolotl / little lizard / always keeps its youthful shape / is the human it resembles / young & vital or a flake? / the culture sells that 16 / is the only place to aim / but it's futile sad L7 / chasing sameness, botox, fame / so to the critics, give the bird / and grow by staying green / life's short, be weird, & speak your truth, / you rock boppin' machine

arrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!! my toe!!!!!!!! plus american sweetheart karling abbeygate at fishlips tonight, 3-22; skip heller, three shows 3/28, 4/4, 4/18

i just busted my toe!!!! i was lifting weights & a 6-lber slipped from about chest-level & WHAM! there was that swelling moment of this-isn't-so-bad, then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! so tonight after the drunk club adjourns, i will hobble to part of a music show at fishlips, karling abbeygate, the "america's sweetheart" kind of pin-up girl who has absolutely blanketed myspace. this is perhaps awful to say, except that i'm usually the last fool to know what's cool, but i actually didn't add karling for a while because there are loads of shapely, genetically-gifted gals on myspace with one billion "friends." what besides beauty do they offer? (no cheap jokes, please.) i mean, jerry angel places babes on the top 8 of the blasters' page regularly, but i'm a vanilla school teacher... everyone likes a pretty girl, but can she play? sing? draw? write? dance? juggle? make balloon people? shape foreign policy? finally, i listened to karling & found out 1) she does that ultra-traditional honky-tonk that i love, recorded intentionally to sound old-timey; & 2) boy, she can sing!! i imagine she could end up as the next neko case (as you prob know, NC started singing western tonk tunes & now is big big as a solo act), tho her image is softer, girlier. anyways, karling will be on tonight, plus one of cesareo's 800 bands , the iron outlaws, & another westerny act. one of KA's guitar players is none other than mr paladins-hacienda bros himself, dave gonzales! that's sure to get brian paxton there, for a chance to maybe see mr guild guitar in action... as if karling needs any more "friends," here is her link, so you can hear her terrific sound: http://www.myspace.com/karlingabbeygate ... recently, my new friend rob said that i "can sing like a bird," & i thank him so very much, what a nice thing to say, but i think that compliment goes to karling. what an appealing voice! now, if she plays instrument/s, too, i'll be an even bigger fan. :) pretty is one thing, but pretty & multi-talented, well, i wanna see more gals like that, good role models for all. not that looks should count... multi-talented women & men, especially ones with clear vision & spark, those are the ones who change this world ... well, time to go cry over my elephantoesis. see you at fishlips & tomorrow, hello, san francisco... otra vez!

romance of lonely love gone south soul hankerings

the sadness of life can bring such lonely pleasure; does anyone relate? i wrote a song long ago about driving long distances at night: "i got that happy lonesome feeling..." solitude, especially when coupled with action (walking, driving, music-playing) puts a soul closer to something ineffable & everlasting & beautiful, something that's calling & we're all gonna see it, and the lonely times give just a little glimpse...
i know this line of thinking isn't one bit original, so here are some more tunes. taking a small breather from school & messing again with the free audacity mini-mixing program, i know these tunes still sound rough as a badger's behind, but i don't care (obviously). the process is so pleasing, & maybe someone else'll try this. why not? :) ... i still've got that problem of tweaking the dials too high & it all comes out kinda squacky, messy, rough, lame, corny, embarrassing, but with those moments of pretty & exciting & even cool, like life, you know (haha - i can justify anything!) ... ok, time to go to the doctor now. :)

SADIEBROWN the exg...

REDLIGHT jennyange...

the city by the bay, schooling, driving, 3-part-wang-dang-ding-dong-harmonalizing, pax tecum (y'all)

my life lately's consumed with school. school school school school. in sf yesterday, i turned in my 2nd paper & lunched w/my wise & gentle advisor. my thesis is four parts: problems "young" people face developing a sense of authentic purpose; a few suggested solutions; a school curriculum based on the philosophy of the solutions (help people feel safe so they can learn, grow, become happy, useful); & last, how to make the philosophy workable & successful when it faces opposition... i stayed in a gorgeous hostel at ft mason in the n. reaches of the city, w/dining rm overlooking sf bay, view of the golden gate bridge, presidio, sf, all just so lovely, w/verdant & safe ocean-breezy jogging paths beneath giant trees, all only $25 (tho the beds were paper thin)... home takes forever on boring I-5, tho less so this morning in golden sunlight, then we had a big family powwow w/my visiting tx cousin & her brood, full of enchiladas, tamales, rice & beans, champagne cake de smith's, embarrassing stories, little cousins running & screaming, loud laughter.
the band had a great & crazy uptempo rehearsal the other day w/wonderful phil on bass & brian paxton & i getting along; it felt like energy was zapping our cans again, & that's nice. i've practiced 2x now w/some nice guys who are looking at putting up a more expert gig, w/the exciting part being full 3-part harmonies. they have their eye on big shows, professional musicianship, & this unnerves me a bit since i'm adrenaline & little polish, but for now, i love the rich harmonies, which thrill to the bone: it's pleasing, plus doubles the music i get to experience... listening to npr this am, i learned this wk to watch for ronnie spector & patti smith, both going into the R&R Hall of Fame, plus the new stooges LP... if you're lucky enough to be headed for sxsw this yr, tell austin hi for me & drink up all that good music like sunshine & oxygen... for me, this yr it'll be school instead, but this MA program is changing & restoring my life, so i'm all for it, even if i can't wander so congress & guadalupe & sneak into sxsw events like last yr. also, we're going to rockin' 50s in may, & that'll be the living end, bound to be as good as in 02 (www.actionpackedevents.com)... pax et felix tecum, & may you ride joyously thru your day.