Friday, April 26, 2019

Bed Dos Post

My trend seems to be to post not much, and when I do, post from bed. I am sick. James is sick. Gorgeous weather, tho. Earlier a tiny, tawny bunny hopped out into the middle of the back yard & munched on grass as I rested here on the bed w James and animals, looking out on the greatest view in the world, sez Mama, that is, this mountain of forest that stretches beyond the yard. So lovely. Been doing little, plowing thru New Yorkers, stopping when headaches overwhelm. One long article was about the difficulty of getting off psych meds, how they're overprescribed & kicking them is a whole new hell. Only time I faced that was when I left my 1st marriage, had a 2 yr nervous breakdown, then was misdiagnosed & put on 2 inappropriate meds when the real problem was








a yucky relationship I was ruined enough to have been in. Reading the article made me think I should taper off my current pill, a low dose appropriately prescribed one, but in my bones I know I should not since I've had depression/anxiety since age 8 & reading an article will not make that disappear. For instance, last night I received a pic of my former dog son, GusGus, who in canine years is now 91, & found out he is now deaf and blind, & the sight of that precious dear in old age threw me into a maelstrom of grief. Life, life, life is flying by. Oh woe is me. (My balloon of suffering, to cite Frankl, is indeed small.)  Later, I wondered if that had been a "normal" reaction to a photo of a former pet... Could've been caused in part by being sick, so today I did not teach & got little done but cleaned house went to store just had fun reading a fashion mag been getting free & now we're eating delicious paletas, Mayan chocolate flavor, as the sun lowers & the mountains cool. (And now, just like that, James is again snoring oh so softly beside me.) My primary hope  right now is that I can muster strength to walk little Penny, who is nowhere as handsome/beautiful as GusGus, but is quite adorable, our funny dear girl, "unusually attached to her people," says Dad, & very deserving of some exercise.
We went to Baton Rouge & New Orleans recently, HAD A GREAT TIME. (oops; god of hyperbole  hit the cap button there.) Tapping finger tired, so  I will post phone pix &  more later.
Ps, may Sunday bring us a '63 Lil Loafer... We'll see.

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