gas food lodging buddha

this plan'd be perfect, if i had no bladder! i'm at a roadside mcdonald's on my laptop while james plays a night time birthday show in los angeles. i don't usually get mcdonald's, but it's a special occasion: it's saturday night!! when i order from here, i'm usually prudent, but tonight i went whole-hog: a burger w/cheese & bacon, big salty fries w/ketchup, big carbonated beverage. it went down great, savory, salty, tasty, but now... the bathroom calls, not to mention signals that a revolt could be impending in the factory of my digestive system... since i don't wanna disconnect all this stuff just to answer nature, i'll make this quick. don't you love roadside culture? when i or we are at the mountain pad & get a bit bored, all it takes for quick relief is to load up & drive 4 miles down to the interstate, where there's always a uniquely american travel-culture scene in action. i love golden hills & trees that stretch beneath a heaven of deep blue or night-black sky contrasted w/concrete, neon, truck stops, gas stations, asphalt, & hustle-bustle -- the families, the lonely vagabonds, the permanently itinerant, the disquieted rovers, the tired travelers, etc. etc. -- not to mention truckstop trinkets, junk food, coffee coffee coffee, gigantic parking lots, car lights swooshing like restless jewels along the freeway, tons & tons of vehicular steel & human cargo motoring beneath uncaring, quiet skies... i realized this evening, we used to live on the edge, & we still do: the edge used to mean constant danger from toxic chemicals, habits, & people; now it means we border three counties: kern, LA & ventura! i so much prefer it this way... :) today i drove out windy mountain roads with vistas of mountainsides & forests (some burned) to the pine mountain buddhist temple. i've been reading much lately on spirituality & ratcheting up my emotional equilibrium. it makes sense that if i've developed two positive lifelong habits (not drinking & playing piano), certainly achievable is adding a third -- mental wellness. realized recently, i'm tired of being a kook!! the creative part is great, but the rest of it? bleghhhhghhhhphhhghgh!!! at the temple i received meditation instruction from rev phoebe, a tall, slender monk of warm dutch accent & blazing eyes who used amusing metaphor memorably: a mantra can be used in the manner of a guardrail when driving a mountain road; the distracted mind must constantly be called back to meditation in the way that you would train your dog: "here, boy!" -- with patience & tenacity. both she & her fellow monk, sheikai, are 60sih, w/shaved heads & slender, tall frames cloaked in brown robes. they maintain the property's 45 acres between the two of them, "a skeleton crew," said phoebe. the grounds are clean, flat chaparral of golden & dusky greens surrounded by yawning mountainsides; walking paths are marked by meditation spots w/small & large statues of the buddha, each accompanied by flowers & stones. after my instruction was a zen ceremony which i found to be beautiful & bizarre; i then played w/the benji-ish temple dogs, yasper & della, before it was lunchtime, a vegetarian meal in the great room of one of the three houses. after that, we did dishes & then was dharma time w/rev sheikai; we discussed the "undivided self" & through our many expressed frets, he assured us that dedicated practice eventually would better-cement the reality in our minds that separation is illusion -- the key being that practice, again, like learning piano & not drinking a day at a time, can never stop in order to be successful. there can be no breaks, no vacations, no pauses, & in fact, the practice when made a steadfast habit can lead to a life much more worth living. yes! really grateful to've gotten to share the day w/the earnest & friendly monks and visitor laura, i also got that soto zen is probably a bit too formal for me. i'm pretty excited about these ideas, even w/the past controversy. after all, the "cult" i've been in for near-19 years has not just kept me alive, but has allowed me to have many times of happiness, joy, & freedom. also, i was moved to read about the WW2-era bravery of japanese buddhists makiguchi (who was martyred) & toda; accused of promoting "thought control," both stood by their ideals in the face of torture by the government. such brave people inspire me, don't they, you? well, better get going before my bladder explodes.:) corporate materialist culture instills desire & dissatisfaction, we all agreed during today's dharma talk. however, some elements of it can be downright useful, like, right now, the public toilet. namaste, fellow traveler...