am finally at the age where i'm noticing i'm aging. it's natural & inevitable, plus it's weird & kind of sickening/pathetic to look young/try to when middle-aged. older ppl still think i'm much younger, but pt of that's my high-pitched voice & stature (no midget, i remain 4 inches shy of the national avg of 5'7"). a thousand quotes, philosophies, wisdoms, as well as james, reassure me aging's natural & pt of life, but i write here about it cause i'm sort of (well, sometimes a lot) body dysmorphic for whatever reasons -- having been a fat kid, a biracial kid in the 70s, screwed up serotonin or adrenaline in the brain, whatever. so i am dolled up right now waiting for husband to get home for our gig & i look in the mirror & think, could be worse. get over it. a happy soul trumps all, evidenced today by the lovely woman at the mtg who was jolly, spirited, sparkly-eyed... and 96 yrs young. if you are a spry sober person, next time someone tells you how young you look, tell them that's cause you're pickled. it always gets a laugh & defuses any discomfort, least for me...
i'm happy my spouse & i are the same age. we not just are growing old together, we have common cultural references, even tho i missed a lot of tv shows he saw, since we didn't get those channels in bksfld & also our family didn't have cable tv (unconscionable today, maybe, except in the weirdest egghead households... i recall only one such family in my 17 yrs working w/kids & the girl was brilliantly strange, talented & brainy & now she's a beautiful successful college student/actress, so i think her family made the right choice restricting her access to the boob tube...).
yesterday we went adventuring & saw presto's magic shop in its final days. james got a trick magician's hat & i some trinkets. yes, presto's in northeast long beach closes this friday at 5 pm after over 30 yrs in biz. seems a real shame! any loss of any cultural influence not corporate, well, that's sad, i think... well, hubby should be rolling in any min, so i place here a pic from yesterday: he drove us up signal hill to hilltop park where we saw monks in wind-blown golden (saffron, maybe?) robes taking carefree pix & viewed downtown LA, long beach/the harbor/queen mary/catalina island, & huntington/the beaches all from one spot. it was really lovely, peaceful, nice. we went to a junk store & antiquing a little, then enjoyed evil-laugh inspiring decadent donuts... we watched a passable doc about lucy & desi starring a very talented woman, rachel york, then "night stalker," which we love (it seemed so scary when we were kids; now it's creepy but mostly so, so funny! carl kolchak lives!) today i read from thich nhat hanh's "anger" & one of my all-time favorites, don marquis's "archy & mehitabel." both are so different yet wise & quotable, but no time right now: look them titles up, if you want some good reads... we went for a long walk @ the wetlands after the mtg i mentioned & saw many birds, bunnies, lizards, tides, swampland, & a jurassic-looking thing on the hunt that we think was a blue egret, then i jumped around aerobically while he went visiting, bringing us to now... well, he's here, talented brave awesome james,
so it's off to play music. be well, be in your bliss, it's a wonderful transient life, enjoy what's left...
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