i'm sitting here on a rock & boy, the dang bugs really like me (i read, to my chagrin & cynical satisfaction, that they love estrogen) & boy, is my can getting sore, outside the library here near the grand mesa in colorado & it's dusk (like dussssssk devils, yes). friends from the clean & sober run are walking/riding by, eyeing me quizzically, but all smiling because clean/sober people who work a program are generally happy & grateful types, rescued from a common despair by a common solution, & i had to post this because it is simply amazing to not just be here (there go two more motorcycles, two more guys from the run smiling a little funny, oh, there's that girl who wears all that makeup & look she's sitting there on that rock & is she on the internet??)... ok, to be online like this is pretty amazing, but to be HERE for the 11th time is more amazing. there are good ghosts here: san jose jack, mike day's dad, redneck, stacy's dad, & stacy herself. it's "sacred ground," woody said, right before he whipped out a "instant redneck" doll that you add water to & watch blow up to "life size" (before we left to eat, he whispered into the water cup, "ok, redneck, we're going to eat, you gonna go? no? you wanna stay here?" because sacred & silly go together like peas & mashed potatoes, to woody)... two summers ago we put some of dear dear stacy's ashes on the cactus where the others' ashes are. at that time, the cactus was doing terrible, but this yr when we came back, it was blooming heartily, flowering pinkly even, & i thought, of course it is, cause that's how stacy was. she lost her way & had to leave this earthly place in such a tragic manner, but back at the serenity run, where she & we all have had such amazing times, she has blossomed again & we all can remember her smile & spirit, warm & wide & wild as texas, beautiful stacy forever stamped in our memories & hearts...
well, my butt's sore, so i'd better go walk back & meet the others.
on the music front, i still have no cell phone (left it in a coffee house in twin falls, id) so have no idea about big manny band practice upcoming, but getting online here, i got a good tip on the LA derby girls from my stepson (thank you, cody!!) & see that skip heller, "very pro-bakersfield these days" (he doesn't know bakersfield yet, i half-jokingly say), is back at narducci's on aug 7, & if the heavens line up & the great pumpkin wills it, i'll be home to see him play, home to my family, piano, & doggie dears.
well, i typed long enough that b has just pulled up to ride us back to the no-tell motel, where friends are, & now he's joking mordantly to friends riding by about being an "email widower," so better vaminos for now.
...being here at the international serenity run has remedied my homesickness for the most part. so many familiar faces, all converging in this beautiful spot to celebrate living w/o drugs & booze, just still LIVING: so many people i'm happy to see & who say the same to me.
as i heard today, better to be seen than to be viewed. amen, brothers & sisters. ah-men.
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