Monday, November 26, 2007


for more fantastic videos, check out dusk devils favorites at youtube's a treasure! i could add 100s more, if there were time!!! (ps - if you love gene taylor's piano playing, check - gene now lives in belgium, but will be in the socal & bay area in dec to play shows w/dave alvin, bazz & bateman! these will be don't-miss events! :) whoops - gotta run...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

(an early) mele kalikimaka from the chair of perpetual penance (which somehow is lots of fun, anyway)

-yrs ago, i started drawing christmas cards. bettie page, frankenstein, chuck berry, 40s pinup, siamese twin santas, senor wences takeoff: a bit bizarre, but in their way giving people a smile, i always hope. :) one yr i aped a chas addams design, & kinko's made me sign a release from liability before they'd print it!
- more recently i've photoshopped rather than drawn cards: the lazy way out. i never draw anymore, as is! the lazy route brings quick kicks, yet disappoints. i know i can do more.
- this wk i unexpectedly found myself w/extra time on my hands & so am having a creative burst. playing my one-woman band set like a maniac- running long distances- enjoying mtgs- working w/newcomers- eating fine holiday meals- watching movies- readying for upcoming music shows: what joys these are!! yesterday am, i took a pack of crayons & drew my christmas card. :) (do you do this? i most long to draw, or do anything "creative," when the moment hits & i DON'T have the appropriate supplies... it's demented & stubborn, maybe, or what mama calls a "penance mentality." it just feels too easy, like cheating, to have exactly what's needed, more honest & thrifty to be forced to use what's already there - in this case, a very dull pencil & crayons.)
- i'm grateful today to still have SOME of the ability i had when younger, enough anyway to still be able to (sort of) render the results i seek.
- father damien was stubborn & struggled, was good & heroic. he did what his soul called him to do, not what others told him was "acceptable." he helped & helped & helped instead of just thinking about it: all constructive action, no empty talk.
- his sacrifice & selflessness embody the true spirit of the holidays. what american doesn't know the venal corporate-capitalist version? an early christmas wish to all who read this.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

happy, happy thanksgiving

this morning's phantom pie run at hart park was wonderful: happy people by the 100s, lovely sunrise, rolling foothills, heart-pumping uphills, muscles straining, health restored by activity, then the long downhill flat-out haul-butt back to hart park, bonfire, delicious food, joy. i was told all the extra pies & food go the homeless shelter, which made the whole thing even nicer.
then a gal showed up at the wmn's mtg, paroled from prison yesterday to the bksfld hotel. problem was, her family was waiting for her in carson city today for thanksgiving, she wept, & she was paroled to bakersfield & must stay til monday. at the hotel last night, people cried, screamed in terror, yelled, knocked on her door all night. the walls were smeared w/blood from all the junkies, & she woke covered w/bedbugs. she just celebrated one year sober & knew she had to get to a mtg right away.
after the mtg, i stepped up to ask if i could get her a nicer hotel rm til tomorrow, when her mom's wiring her $ to do so, but my sponsor beat me to it & took the woman home w/her.
tears sprang to my eyes, & do so now as i think of my sponsor's kindness. life IS good when we can overcome fear & just help one another. the deepest human trait is not fear, but love, & this love can lead us to our most true selves. our human purpose is to help, & to love... tho this gets obscured by so many worldly calamities.
happy turkey day to all who read this. i am "giving thanks" today for having the ability & opportunity to appreciate that it IS thanksgiving. i give thanks for being placed in a life where i'm able to learn to be more happy, joyous, & free by way of gratitude, positive service to others & development of the gifts i've been given.
to thine own self be true, & happy thanksgiving to you.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

turkey / phantom pie run this thursday!!!

(from bk track club website - this sounds like FUN!!!!) Phantom Pie Run - Meet at section 7 of Hart Park for a fun run or walk of between 3 and 12 miles starting at 6am. Bring a pie to share with a couple hundred of your fellow health enthusiasts. What a great way to kick off Turkey day!

Monday, November 12, 2007

may i fare better than poor johnny... dyspnea & me

i got to ride on our teachers' union's float in the vet day's parade this wkend w/ two dear students, wonderful girls, then we went to the library (they'd never been to it) & sonic (same). we teachers'd put our float together over 2 weekends & it was downright right, in my mind, w/handpainted murals of kids & signs created by students & banners reading "bakersfield educators love & respect our veterans" & "be patriotic: vote" (i got to paint that last one). (we grew up w/dad playing "union maid" & "this land is your land" on his guitar while we all sang. BETA is a darn good union, tho my bro-in-law's in denver isn't, & i know people have their complaints. i can only speak for mine: it's necessary & important, as is the concept of unionism, which, like religion & political philosophies, can get twisted in the hands of humans.)
at the 1st parade turn, the ray charles version of "america the beautiful" swelled & all these smiling little old people in military uniforms came into view in their lawn chairs & we all waved & cheered one another &, oh boy, it was crying time. the girls were happy; later, my hubby & i watched "ratatouille," which is so great, it'll kill you, even if you be a cynic; it was a wonderful day; i took a long run the next & celebrated my dear friend's bd at the oildale mtg; we had a long long band practice w/a drummer i've known who impressed me a bunch this time (haven't heard him play in 3 yrs); we went to greg goodsell's "zombie farm" (in his few secs, he was better than the film, w/a gory death scene, even) at the spotlight; all was just going wonderfully well... then last night i had the worst asthma attack i've had in 5 yrs. i scared the tar outta my hubby & myself. i thought it was curtains. good lord, what a shock.
stone-cold honky-tonker johnny paycheck died of it, poor soul. what a way to go. i thought i was doing better, but the doc today says, "in most cases, allergies & asthma just get worse."
great. i used to think drowning would be the worst way to check out, but maybe it'd be asthma or COPD or emphysema... i guess i shouldn't let my magic morbid mind ponder such things since for now i'm ok, tho i gotta go get a whole bunch of inhalers & pills. just be grateful. long as i can continue to be mostly in my right mind in this world of students, family, friends, music, exercise, movies, & more, my complaints only could be those of spoiled brat, or a fearful egoist. so if i have to feel like a fish out of water here & there, well, i can just hope that won't be how i have to check out, & deal w/it: take my meds, try to remember that i don't have this condition licked. (merde.)
i thank goodness right now i don't have the nicotine jones. a lifetime ago i had a beau whose mom was at the hospital in oildale, in a tent w/emphysema, & we snuck her cigarettes. i remember her giggling like a naughty little girl. my boyfriend just looked sad: he did it cause he loved his mama, but we knew it was dirty & wrong. fear, denial, wonder, happiness, ups & downs: c'est la vie.

Monday, November 05, 2007

tweetleedeedledeedee, deedeedeedee

the time FINALLY changed!!!! getting ready for work's no longer such a drag, with my morning now starting at dawn's crack rather than when night seems to be dragging its sick, exhausted carpet to bed. morning sounds: the chirp tweet-tweet of avian symphony, the bang crash-crash & long lonely whistles of the train yard, traffic washing by on the roads outside. right now the peeping sun's bathing away night with slate, pale gray, blue rising out of purple, red, pink, then morning's promise: that gorgeous golden sky. (one nice thing about smog is, it sure makes a lovely dusk-dawn palette. & these days in backwardsville, with smog mostly abated by autumn, the loveliness just zings a person alive.) alive, alive! watching the season change makes a soul feel it.