not such a good blablablabla day...

it's been one of those weird days. i spoke to one my oldest, closest friends & was shocked to find that person significantly altered -- i hope just for now -- by illness & medication. damned evil bigpharma! damned over-medication!!!! i got off the phone just shook up. my brilliant, brusque friend: so changed right now. i pray just for right now! it was dizzying.
for comfort, i started reading about a book i've long-loved, man's search for meaning, then ended up on jstor reading a scholarly article that shook me to my core. when the author started linking frankl to a relative of a head nazi scum, i stopped reading. it was just too much. couldn't read one word more. so i called my sister to see how she was. she took something i asked wrong & was snippy. rather than stand up for myself, i got my little feelings hurt.
it's just been one of those days!

so i said a prayer & realized i should be outside on such a gorgeous day. yes, a move from magnifying mind to body was in order: grabbing tools, digging, raking, trouble-shooting, i ended up working on a few projects i've been thinking about using found objects bc it's really no fun to create & make projects using new stuff right out of the box (exception: our new swamp cooler).
one project came out really neat, a patio shade made from an enormous piece of pretty early-'70s stripey plasticky-canvas i got from a yard sale. i think it might been a tent cover, but it looks really swell set up as it is, like a bedouin hideaway, i was imagining, & provides such nice expanse of shade, transforming the back patio into something seemingly larger & definitely more comfortable. after erecting it i just sat there for a while, admiring the funky aesthetic & enjoying the breezes, feeling happy, satisfied...
hungry, i came in to sit under lovely swamp cooler, eat lunch, & enjoy a horror film i'd heard described as a throwback to john carpenter/david cronenberg -- now that i think of it, directors who don't have much in common. the movie quickly was engrossing, but took a sour turn, becoming quite misanthropic,  leaving me depressed again.
after this let-down, the only sensible action was to get back outside, so i toiled some more in the gorgeous day, digging & measuring & moving rocks & bricks & huge, heavy tiles & laboring  til i hardly could move, so organized all the tools & pieces of wood & fencing & paint for tomorrow & was about to crawl to the shower when penny plopped in front of me, looking plaintively patient. she hadn't had her daily walk/jog.
we only did a mile, but i'm so glad i took her. she has no clue i've had a weird day, & she doesn't need to. as angie used to say, dogs are proof of god. they can re-center a soul, no matter how sideways.
to close this weird day in the right way -- that is, with a more positive & grateful spirit--, here is a beautiful picture from father's day of three of my very favorite humans on this earth. the fourth should be here later tonight, & i can't wait to see my dear husband.
here's to the end of this weird day. as i hear all the time, this, too, shall pass. thank goodness.