how many ways to stall??

another just popped up in junk mail: "click here to see how YOU resemble long-lost family members around the world"... or some such no-doubt lying junk.
the only time i saw ppl who "looked like us" was at a tribal summit some years back in coastal orange county (the only summit i've managed to get to). there were many yellowish-looking people with weak-colored eyes & limp hair, kind of mixed & weird-looking folks like i am & like some of my immediate family members are, too... i liken my sister's and my looks compared to our parents to the actress amanda plummer, interesting but never a beauty, not one bit, & her father, christopher, who was quite handsome in his youth. i just don't know what happened to us visually bc mom & dad were quite good-looking young people... but really, this kinda stuff matters less & less as the years erode everything about this human suit...
i am supposed to be working on school, so instead this weekend i deep-cleaned the whole house (including... james's quarters... the black hole of doom...) took penny for a slow jog (if i don't move my hip, it doesn't hurt), put latches on screen doors, watched MST3K (did you know incredibly strange creatures who stopped living & became mixed-up zombies was filmed in large part at long beach's long-gone beloved amusement-park-by-the-sea, the pike?? that was a definite highlight in an otherwise dreadful dog of a movie!!), feverishly researched tiny houses with hopes to install one on the back slope for mom & dad (latest obsession), walked across town (1.5 miles) & met christy & corey for breakfast, walked penny & corey's sweet dog mama at the park w/corey & adorable maya, continued cleaning, did the dishes, started proofreading dad's book, moved 5 wheelbarrows of dirt from the slope to the driveway...
i want to work, but i am afraid. i want so badly to do a good job this year. i have a very small class at this point. i guess part of me fears i will work hard, yet fail, anyways. i've had so little of that in my life. in my youth, i succeeded at everything i tried (except, near-fatally, over & over again, love relationships).
well, here's getting to it. the kids deserve it!!