Saturday, August 05, 2017

one year ago today, the world lost big manny

shocking to see my dear friend the gentle giant's pic on social media today. it has been one year since he left this mortal plane. i still think of him all the time, as i know so many, many others do. he was beautiful through & through, funny & sweet & irreverent & kind, could sing soaringly, like an angel,  or suggestively, so mischievously, so rockin', & he played guitar like chuck berry meets mount olympus. i hope manuel's family is doing better one year later, though that place where loved ones were is never, never the same... :(
yesterday, r.i.p to felix. he always was nice to me, a tall lean gray soul wearing thick glasses & a wise,  tight-lipped smile, looking bemused, relaxed, tough & resigned to this ridiculous life. he and james had A Shared Past, being real irish tough guys, knowing each other that way as well as through music for many decades. "f**k! listen to felix play the sh*t out of that harmonica!" james would exclaim. "f*ck!!"
felix had been very, very ill but continued to post angrily & righteously about cop abuse, his voice as  vital as ever, so it was shocking yesterday to learn of his death: he passed during surgery. we flashed back to 2015, when james had his near-death time, the day he finally went into surgery bc w/o it, he definitely wasn't going to make it. the doc sat me down & told me, "i'm gonna be straight with you. he might not survive this surgery. it's real risky." my head reeling, i levitated to the chapel, dumb w/shock, knelt down, shaking, stunned, & started rambling to whomever or whatever is Good in the ether. what else could i do? after a few minutes, in one of the most comforting yet creepy moments of my life, a kindly male voice in my head suddenly said, "don't worry. he's going to be ok. dry your eyes & go back upstairs." that's only happened one other time, when the voice told me "go to aa" when i was in a big bag of sh*t on the night of my last drink back in 1995...
felix lived to near-70, a long life for a working musician. i hope his long life was pleasing to him, that busting heads, blowing harp, kicking against the jams, & all that he did brought him a good life. requiescat in pace, tommy felix flanagan.

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