Sunday, March 20, 2016

fragments.

we had a great couple of days. james's 50th bd. he said it was the best he'd ever had.
i still got this intermittent illness. was looking thru a gigantic yoga book on asanas for lowered immune system, but too weak to do them. this is the longest i've ever let laundry pile up! haven't been reading. or exercising. or performing! i missed a show bc of this yuck. went to rx, but she said they're not prescribing anything unless there's fever, of which @ that moment i had none. course, at this moment i do. can't help morbid mind from wondering if i've got another staph infection in my sinuses. stupid morbid mind. sit! stay!
am switching a med i take that keeps my head on straight. have to take a mellow-out med to ease the transition. james the other day said i was having dt's. so maybe this flu-lethargy feeling is withdrawal from blasted med. i've been turning into a larda*s lately, least by my estimation. turns out both meds i'm taking contribute to excess poundage. so that'll be one advantage of switching medication: loss of wt. course at this age i know to love this body that's gotten me thru a near-half century of life, in whatever shape it has. don't matter if it's not "perfect" -- i'm a well-loved human who loves most all. i love life. i feel a lot, often too much. dad thinks that's admirable (bc he's not that way. i think his equinimity is admirable. he says ppl like him don't live as deepy as ppl like me. it's the grass is always greener thingamabob!)
back to the seemingly physical, the "human suit" of which james spoke when 1st i met him doesn't really matter in the long run. it's an ephemeral carcass, a container, a meat bag, a temporary cover for the real me & you within.
we're all stardust. complete the quote: i'm too tired.
back to vegging for me. we had a great couple of days.
btw, read "the bakersfield sound" by robert price. really good stuff!

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