yaaaaaaaaawn

just watched a very cute & of course naughty video of james & band today playing at the vietnam vets & legacy vets mc toy run... our friend alice was up there dancing & the video brought me a big grin bc her husband turtle filmed it, so most of the video focused proudly on cheerful alice & her shapely derriere :D ... hope james has been having a great weekend gigging up a storm while i have chosen to stay back w/hell kitty & our beautiful mountain & home. :)
big day tomorrow. checking here so i actually go to bed & get some zz's before hitting the road in the a.m. changed the sheets for james's return; put on the flannels cause tho there's been yet no snow, it's been brrrrrr cold! at tonight's mtg, ppls' shares reminded me how lucky we all is, now clean/sober, to no longer have that terrible heart-breaking loneliness & awful yucky crappy feeling one has when living in lies... my friends have two little cherubs & during the mtg one slept in the corner pink-cheeked & angelic while the other, cute as shirley temple, curls & all, in her little fringy suede boots, pushed a toy cart around, offering us coffee (the kid, only 3 1/2 yrs old, already knows her 12 step meeting decorum!), then hot chocolate, then "chicken with butter," then "snow flake cookies & santa cookies." yes, so cute, we all were grinning our faces off. how nice to have ditched cynicism. how nice to be sober & able to do dumb fun irritating boring sweet things like play w/hell kitty, not wash dish mountain, clean the house, then surf the internet like a braindead dumbhead, living the life i've always wanted, a whole & wholesome one that feels increasingly peaceful. so nice to peek back & see "high maintenance" receding -- dear donna, always one to pull covers mercilessly but necessarily, reminded me how it used to be for me & rather than get my little feelings hurt, i thought, yeah, she's right! but i'm not that way anymore... yay!!
so nice to start to find & feel equanimity. :) me & sweet marjorie talked about that the other night at another mtg. marjorie is a bright, bright spirit &, the more i know her, the more i'm happy to know her. what a fun friend! in fact, the more ppl i meet on the mountain, the more i appreciate living here...
today i found out our friend a.m. passed away after months of terrible sickness. rest in peace, kind lady, in her last moments protected by the lovingest person i know, my dear friend  j.c., as well as by a's son. a.m. was immersed in recovery & was never alone in her 7 months of illness; friends in the program took shifts along w/family to do all they could to comfort her... i contrast this w/all the ppl i've heard of who've died alone, lonely, bitter, regretful, or in other negative conditions; we who choose to live in the light don't ever have to be alone, & there's no one path to the light except to point one's face toward it, be it via church, recovery, spirituality, mysticism, exercise, psychology, education, meditation, service, renunciation, juggling, kindly guffaws, or whatever means of positive inspiration twists your twinkie, as cousin tushi would say...
happy sober bd, cheerful, garrulous brahma, surrounded tonight by 25 loving friends... both a.m. & brahma were & continue to be (respectively) such shining examples of carrying the message & service to others.
so thankful to be clean & sober, as surrounded by love as i choose to be, long as i stay "in the middle of the herd" & give back the love & support so freely given... bhavatu sabba mangalam... :)