superior, inferior: there's plenty in between, wouldn't you know...

... have been doing a lot of step work writing this a.m. on how superiority & perfectionism are basically just the addict mind's way of seeking immediate gratification (actually, the thought came from a hazelden title, the presence at the center)... such determinations are easy to make, where products are concerned, & james's computer definitely is superior to mine! i use it now as he's in his last moments of slumber to quickly update this blablablog. soon it'll be time to get up & hit the road!
mama had the perfect 70th birthday party. i could just tell, as it transpired, from her smiling face as well as the ease & happiness of events, it was exactly what she wished for! (-- tho 20 degrees cooler would've been nice for all...) yesterday eve, we had such a fun trip home, meandering & exploring, like i used to when i first moved to the mountain. so much to see in the smoggy south valley!, if at the least the expansive order of lovely agricultural fields: the beautiful darkly dancing grapevines, stalwart armies of corn, burstingly, cheerfully green alfalfa, mysterious soft fields of flowers resembling roses, except stinky (james hopped out on a lonely road to pluck one for our investigation; mom & dad soon will tell us what is the variety; we figure they're planting them in abundance lately bc they must drink little water... we in california are in severe drought, you know!) add to all this a grocery emporium entertaining as an amusement park (really!), an ice cream cone, a truck stop spilling w/american roadside culture, ranch homes & farm homes & barns, silos, dairy cows, cactus & palm fields, melancholy old trees, grand golden mountains, well, there was so much to experience & enjoy on that trip home, & don't you find yourself so often happily surprised by the small beauties this life has to offer?

- some pix: two joyous veterans (oh, how would it be to be 89 years old if one could be as mentally agile & well-preserved as family friend don?); mama, lovely on her special birthday, surrounded by loved ones galore; james sampling tortillas heck a mano; & how i wish i'd bought myself one of these aprons when we took a family trip to paris many years back... angie said i got one for her & mama at that time, but i don't remember a thing, typically, except know now i sure like the apron: it made me feel like i belonged & not think as much about the piano, how i wasn't sitting at it playing, as we spent all a.m. in the kitchen in tortilla & enchilada assembly lines...
who'd think that cooking could be fun?? life: a continuing journey of revelation, i tell ya...

well, there's plenty more to blab about, but i'm just hoping i'll be able to stick to the personal plan i just wore out my hand writing about: compassionate detachment, remembering we all are boddhisattvas of the earth, that i control this world no more than a flea on a log captains the log along a river; to be aware, accepting, take contrary action, blablablablabla, etc etc etc (ps - tonight, sat. july 26, is benefit for candye kane at don the beachcomber on pch in sunset/huntington beach, ca, 7:30-11:30 pm, hosted by whiteboy james & barry g... come on out, if you'll be in the neighborhood! my old bandleader karling will be there, & i look forward to saying hello to her as well as to laura chavez, guitar wunderkind, & my old friend candye, the most dedicated stone-cold womb-to-tomb woman purveyor of song that i ever have had the pleasure of knowing!)