Sunday, June 30, 2013

"baby got the bull by the horns"... obsessed w/a little port town...


been obsessed lately w/real estate -- signal hill & san pedro, to be exact... obsession! leave me be! problem is, it can be fun to be obsessed, in a teeth-gnashing, sleep-depriving, falsely-creative-feeling way... here are pix of us the other day in san pedro. we had a fun time, as you can see. yesterday & today were/will be shows. tomorrow i visit mountain house to prepare it for visiting teenagers. in five days i will have been sober for two decades minus two years. what a dumb-luck beautiful harrowing miracle this has been. am reading dean karnazes, passages recovery program, a little mcluhan right now. the balmy breeze today is tempestuous, wonderful. yesterday was stifling: visited w/pages in los angeles mall, & their darling little girl, too. i think that's it for now, so be safe, be happy, be snappy, don't be crappy, goodbye.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

existence, life, death, rebirth, repeat. & a donut.

after last night's show, we found ourselves playing w/clay til 430 am, making these. james used claymaking tools for his monster, which he said looked like a "ferengi" (my husband is such a nerd in many ways, & so is his son, & so is my family, & it's a good fit, i think); i made the james head because i well-know it & plus i love him. i didn't use claymaking tools, deciding that to be cheating since i'd already started w/o any... i also picked off too small a piece of clay & refused to add more, seeing what i could make w/what i had. i set strange boundaries for myself sometimes... we were up & restless w/news yesterday of the passing of aunt rita's beau, big hardworking "uncle danny," as james called him; i hope that dad is right when he said "rita's danny has gone to his final resting place & is at peace." dad's the most gentle & kind-speaking atheist i've ever met; he would speak reverently of jesus christ w/all sincerity, if needed, bc his polite goal always is to comfort... jamesjr showed me a pic of a clay figure he'd made & given to his friend: it, too, was a head, tho like his father's creation, his was imaginative: a smiling cartoon cow w/jaggedy teeth & lolling twin tongue. i've always been pretty good @visual art & writing & such, but i've never been too creative. i really like what the james's made: they are inspired guys!... was gonna write about music, family, overcoming difficulty, character, bravery, generosity, change, tutoring, the library, but i think this is it for now... except that iron man 3, showing @ discount theatres now, is highly watchable & even has realistic elements emotionally, & ben kingsley is fantastic as the seemingly fiercesome but ultimately hapless villain... may you have a clean, well-lighted place, to quote wolff, & in addition, peace in your heart, happiness in your soul, health in your human suit, & maybe a donut.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

sartorial matters & demon eyes!

good lord -- i've been writing this blog for 1000 yrs & just realized i can change the fonts! duh!!... anyways, monique, who goes to all the shows w/her hubby john, bought me this dress! i was even happier when i found out she'd gotten it on the bargain rack! in this pic i'm also wearing a tennis bracelet from kristy, but it's not visible... thank you, ladies! :D monique is tall & blonde, a former competitive skater w/super-muscular gams her husband happily admires as she dances. she always dresses to the 9s &, like kristy, always dances by herself, blowing off steam & digging the music w/no other agenda than to have a great time!... kristy gave me a super-cool fluffy pink coat this past winter; i liked it even more when she told me she'd found it at the $1 store! :D ... i don't usually wear fitted dresses so felt rather weird going out in this, but james saw it & popped his eyes & yelled, "va-va-voom!"
harvelle's was hopping last night! tony lopez snapped this pic. we have demon eyes! i was almost late due to having to go back to get james's coat & dress pants; he stayed too late w/buddy dave, get this, making a face mask of james! :D what a cool reason to be running late... well, today we've had a swell time practicing music & now he's off the phone, so gbye for now... :D

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

blablablablablablabla

blickblickblickblickblickblickblick
bleebleebleebleebleebleeblee...
i ran too far today. it sure was fun, tho. one thing about living in southern california is, the weather's most often really, really nice. in bakersfield, where i grew up, you couldn't run outside from may-october w/o suffering from the oppressive heat... we ppl from bako have a certain perverse pride about being tough enough to endure the horrid heat & smog w/o dropping dead... still, i'm glad to be out of it for now & know my family's in the most comfortable place in town, nearly!...  so happy the way this wk's shaken out. we got home from a really nice pop's day w/mister gia & the million relatives & jamesjr had a card waiting for his dad, letting him know in his cynical foul-mouthed teen way that he's proud of him & the changes he's made in his life. it's really made a difference, knowing that, like we're a unit on a more-united front, tho i know jamesjr's a teen so he'd rather probably chew off his own leg than have to spend much time w/us. that is cool w/me & how it should be, i reckon. :)  also, the young man's school yr ended, so that's a lotta stress off ALL OF US!! everyone's less crabby now... i'm much busier mentally & physically...  james is getting all shmoothed out, living this new thing called the life of a citizen... today he's got SEVEN MONTHS WITHOUT BOOZE!!! i mean, WOW! and YAY!!! ...
[rest of post deleted... I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!! he makes me a better person all the time!] :D

Sunday, June 09, 2013

"i was standin' on rosecrans boulevard, had a box-a stolen auto parts in my hand..." -- fractal thoughts...

need to complete the 1st unit in this free archaeology class i signed up for, hosted by brown university (www.coursera.org - of COURSE, mama knew about it! she's a genius!) ... am too-full on chili pasta jamesjr cooked up, so not much blood's flowing in the brain... instead will upload this pic from yesterday of the ultra-photogenic james & his band & blabla a bit.
the wounded warrior project is highly worthy; james & the 44s played in its support in craggy canyon country. monique & her man john drove all the way up from LB so she could dance & he could smile; they are some right-on nice-folk devoted fans, & the bigger & stronger james gets, the more moniques & johns he attracts & the more detritus sloughs off... motivational speaker tommy middaugh was one of the organizers of the WWP event; he's the guy w/o whom james & i'd never've been able to marry, we were such nervous babbling wrecks at his vegas spread last oct 21! he made it all happen! thank you, tommy & lisa! ... tommy told me alotta nice things about my piano playing & character, then declared i am james's "mountain." i'm always made nervous by such talk, but on the way home, james shared more horror stories of days' past & it clicked why so many ppl think i've done this: you can't go from there to here. this quickly.
unless you're james.
since oct 2, his life & mine've changed hugely, but especially his, for as james sings in the roy brown song, he definitely is "a mighty mighty man"...nothing can stop him 'cept him, like nothing can stop me but me... go, james, go, i say! grab that brass ring!
well, his band's europe trip is sculpting up nicely, & just heard yesterday the band is going on the road! it'll be great to see the dark, spiritual black hills again! that pt of south dakota's one of the swellest places i've ever been, & i've been lots of places!... we got burgers w/kaykay & cindy on the way home & i'm so glad to've been there hearing those two tough big-hearted gals tell a hilarious & hair-raising story about saving a pack of dogs' lives by hurling weapons & deserved invective at the dogs' slimeball owners (then cindy, a life-long animal rescuer, actually took the dog injured & did triage, saving its life!)... the burger joint employees' faces kept peering nervously thru the window as cindy & kaykay snarled & cussed their brave & violent & gut-busting tale of canine rescue & human comeuppance.... at the end, james said what he often says, w/that gleeful & gigantic grin of his: "sometimes you gotta be a stop sign. i'm a stop sign,... & you were, too!" "hell-f***in' YEAH!" yelled kaykay, & all i could do was laugh out loud w/admiration...
today at the swap we were drawn to a sedate & fragrant giant sitting calmly in the middle of the bargain hustle-bustle, a magical tree that we marveled at, touched, smelled: "can you feel its energy?" james smiled, & you COULD! its balance & musk & shade were not just comforting, but transformative -- truly! last wk i started reading a well-written tome about deluded monsters-masked-as-males in a fundamentalist church & after throwing it across the rm in disgust & snarling that all organized religions are ridiculous fantasies foisted by bullies & believed by half-wits, calm returned: there IS order.  there IS good: beautiful, orderly direction. positive universal growth. even if we humans in our terrible defects can be so ruinously ugly, stupid, petty, vicious, etc... the Life Force simply is & cannot be stopped. god is in the trees. in the mountains. in the breeze. in us, deep within. ugliness, fear, violence, shame, grief swell up like waves swell, but then break -- change comes like that, the way a fractal on verge of seeming chaos snaps back into patternly order... the best books i read last wk were "zen & the art of writing" by bradbury as well as "too loud to see, too bright to hear" by juliann garvey, both about ppl like us, all broken & miraculous & human & flawed & divine... then we were talking w/tommy about god & da vinci & pain forcing change & i saw this quote from the "secret" gospel of thomas: "if you bring forth that which you have within you, it will save you. if you do not, it will destroy you."
well, back to reading... chili's about digested now.

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

"you do not have a soul. you are a soul. you have a body."

(i saw that quote on a facebook page called "the idealist." wow!) just came back from 5 days at the mtn home... wow! the mtn home is refreshing & clean! but now, back here, i like it here, too, even if it was left a mess i had to clean up when i got back... fortunately i love to clean! back to the trip, at the flying j as we caravanned out, the counter dude told james & i, "a place in the mountains and one at the beach. nice!" and i realized, yeah, nice! the weather here at the beach is really turning wonderful; i see why people flock here in the summer, when it's so smoggy & hot elsewhere: not just to view the ocean's lovely explanse, but for the breezes, the quality of the air, kind of liquidy, balmy, cool like a good quenching beverage, lapping smoothly at the skin... aaah... the mountain air, too, is so pleasant, cool, revivifying, & the mountains & birds & solitude (don't have that here at the busy beach city) so, so calm the soul... aaah.... yes, my life would be in perfect shape if the enemy between me (our) ears would just cooperate, or give up & come to the winning side! we have it all... the final & ultimate challenge for us is to quiet the enemies... they only weigh about 3 lbs each, for heck's sake, & really are just circuit boards we SHOULD be able to control. today, i do, & he does, too! tomorrow? we'll just see. i just know i'm the one for him, & him for me...
yesterday i started tutoring for school on wheels & am so grateful to again be working w/kids. as i looked into the eyes of the children in the rm, i felt a part of me coming back that's been dormant since i quit teaching in summer 2010. we of the gia clan are born to teach!! & we are not dictator teachers: we are servant teachers. we are the best kinds of teachers. we are noble!! i don't care if i sound arrogant; when i work w/young people, i know know know that i do good & am good!... my kid likes planets, so next wk i'll bring him planet activities. this means i'll, too, learn about planets. double win!
combine this w/library volunteering (feeding my ocd itch), playing music weekly, & -- isn't this the greatest?!? -- starting a free archaeology online course from brown university today, i'm getting a schedule back. i erroneously thought early retirement would be a kick-back easy life. but i've come to realize tho i'm no longer the brain or prodigy of my youth (thank you, drugs & alcohol), i still require a lot of mental stimulation! & i don't like watching tv! & i don't like sitting still or laying around! and i need to help people! not w/a savior or superiority complex... again, we were born to be this way! one of the days away, i ran down to bakersfield to help sister move her classroom. yes! moving boxes, sweating, squatting, laughing, moving, talking about school & kids, i just loved it! my sister is a fantastic human being! the next day, she & doug & the girls came to the mtn house w/loads of food & movies. what great people they are: kind, in service to humanity, funny, loving... husband showed up on insomnia binge & went for a hike in the beautiful mountains behind the house... we were watching"the unholy three" when there was a huge explosion due to highly unstable elements!!!! thank goodness no one was mortally hurt in the end-- we got out just in time!! i love my husband, & he loves me, & we save each other all the time. eventually we'll do so before calamities ensue!... anyways, i better go to walmartland now & get a phone card. blablablablablablabla to you!
ps - oh crap! here are links to some stuff i mentioned above... free online college courses from universities worldwide: http://www.coursera.org  ... tutoring homeless children since 1993: http://www.schoolonwheels.org/ ...