waaaaaaaaaaahhhh

our cousin mary frances posted this article on facebook.  i was drawn to the disconcerting image of the teenaged boy in repose, his face looking as if he's in an anxious dream: is he… dead??
yes.
if you are not moved by this article, well… … heck, i don't know what to say. http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals
last night i was blubbering, too, 1st while james & i watched the movie "the dallas buyers club," then after finishing rabbi harold kushner's "living a life that matters." this slim book had the biggest impact on my spirit since i read "man's search for meaning" by viktor frankl many, many years ago. i could go on & on about its main ideas: god having twin aspects, a mother's love (unconditional) & father's (earned); struggle being what makes us human, our human task (that's what i wrote in my thesis years back, come to think of it - certainly not a unique idea, but not one i remember commonly when i'm kicking myself for being human); the "seductive pleasure of getting even;" integrity; and, finally, what DOES ultimately make us matter, most all of us who'll never find cure for disease or lead a nation or have a tv show or be rich or famous or of renowned respect or even infamous…
here are the final paragraphs of the book, which i so urge you to read:
"…in the final analysis, the key to my immortality, the reassurance that my life has mattered and was not lived in vain, is not that different from the key to yours or anyone else's. i find it in the work i have done, the acts of kindness i have performed, the love i have given and the love i have received, the people who will smile when they remember me, and the children and grandchildren through whom my name and memory will be perpetuated. i have cherished, and i would commend to you, the words of ralph waldo emerson: 'to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -- that is to have succeeded.'
"The Talmud records this exchange between two of the sages:
"'our ancestor jacob never died.'
"'how can you say that? The Bible describes him as dying in egypt and being buried in hebron.'
"'a good person, even in death, is still alive.'"