distressing, depressing, disheartening... got some bad music news (minor compared to so, so much bad news a person could get), so instead of dealing with it, i watched movies. yesterday was "the savage eye" (1960), an early cinema-verite/dramatic fiction about a divorced woman's move from despair to hope, then today, john frankenheimer's "seconds" (1966), involving & shocking. in common: both lonely B&W pix are gorgeously filmed (james wong howe & haskell wexler, respectively) & are about "American hopelessness," the futility of chasing the empty dream of acquisitions bring happiness & desire for outside-in instant personal transformation. blind conformity kills! the first, quite dated in parts, still socks you in the gut with candid footage of sad empty-eyed "real" folks, & lines like "there are two kinds of people in this world: the living and the afraid," & a long scene of church healing with people speaking in tongues, & vintage strippers & queens, but in the end, it has hope-- our gal sees she's united with all in suffering this life & its trials, can have compassion & love for all. but the second,... wow! i felt instant sympathy for its sadsack protagonist (1st played by john randolph, then rock hudson, both with mournful, soulful eyes). he makes a faustian deal to change his identity/face/ life (that action film "face off" ripped that part from this flick & from the french "eyes w/o a face"), but even becoming gorgeous & loveable rock hudson doesn't make the guy happy, & in the end, he pays big time. the final scene took my breath away -- horrible!! horrible!! -- & now i have to type because i can't sleep, keep thinking of that terrible scene, & poor rock hudson, & all the people who try to fit in (like he did in real life) & end up lost, & on and on.......... expectations can kill one's soul: "if only i could be/have/do [fill in the blank], THEN i will be happy" or "if only [he/she/it] would be/have/do [fill in the blank], THEN everything will be ok..." or "if i do [fill in the blank], i will receive [fill in the blank]." oscar wilde said, "a man who does not think for himself does not think at all." the opposite of bravery isn't cowardice, it's conformity!! add to that action with expectations & you have one sad, angry, disappointed human. as spake the oracle at delphi, "to thine own self be true..." & as spake the cramps, "stay sick, turn blue..." that rhymed, which is why i put it there... as if anyone is reading, or gives a care... yes, virginia, life can be unfair... i don't know how to end this, so beware... each line stinks worse than its pred-e-sair...
No comments:
Post a Comment